Category: Lessons Learned

Ups and Downs

What I learned from sports over the years and what I took from the ups and downs is more than I can ever imagine. I was at an all-time high to winning two league titles in my high school career. One In soccer and baseball. I also helped coach a team to win the league for my third medal so that was a special moment coaching. To the lows of losing in playoffs and losing in the championship game a few times to your rival.

Yes, it can be fun and very rewarding, but it can also be hard and not fun. In the end, I wouldn’t have changed anything. Sure, I would have wanted more wins and medals and for me personally to have played better throughout the years to help my team win more. But I think if done correctly you can learn from those losses just as much if not more than when you win.

Bidder Taste

Once you lose or lost in a big game. It sucks and it doesn’t taste good. At the time you might be thinking, man I wish I did better or did this or that instead. With that thinking and mindset, you’re not going to get much better next time and that attitude won’t help you learn more down the road. But what will help you to recover or maybe look at it with a better attitude is what If I could have done this instead? Maybe if I tried this approach or did this a little different and tweaked this or that. I need to go to practice and work on it so I don’t make the same mistake twice.

Pretty much the same wording and approach and thinking behind what happened. Yet the outlook of it and your mindset of it is completely different then playing the what if game. Don’t play the what if game, that doesn’t help you or anyone else. It just makes you look like a poor loser in some cases. You can’t change it now, all you can do is learn and do better next time.

Competitive Nature

From a young age, I developed a craft for being very competitive. I think it all started with seeing my sisters playing sports and watching sports in general. After a while, I hated to lose and wanted to win. I wanted to beat my sisters and everyone else I was playing with or against. I didn’t care what it was I wanted to win plain and simple.

Now with that attitude, there could be side effects of being very competitive. I hated losing as I said, but I wasn’t really a sore loser. Well, when I was younger I was but I got better. Winning just made me feel so much better and it put a smile on my face. It was like I had an edge over everyone else that I was playing against or I was going up against. It wasn’t my intention to think I was better than them or anything like that. I was just trying to win and well win in everything I was doing.

Real Life

Playing sports over the years helped me to grow into the competitor I am to this day. From playing basketball, baseball or soccer over the years. To playing video games with my friend’s, tennis with my dad whatever it was I wanted to win. Once I started to get better in those areas and realized oh I’m kind of good then it only got better or worse from there haha. School wasn’t a gift for me, but sports, on the other hand, was a gift I was definitely born with.

You can be competitive in anything. I used to be in sports or games, well I still am and probably always will be. I’m starting to transition my competitiveness from sports into life and the real world. See it doesn’t matter where you are in your life and what chapter you’re going through or finishing up.

New Opponent

I’m trying to enter a field that’s new to me. I have to learn and figure out what I’m doing and what I need to do to become the best author I can be. I need to put in the work, that could mean writing something every day or reading something every day to help me grow and get better. Just like in sports I went to practice every day or had games and we had to keep putting in the work as a team to get better.

That’s what I’m doing now, I’m laying the foundation and learning and growing and trying to get better every day now. I need to figure out what it will take to become a successful author. I want to be the best husband that I can be to my wife. The best son, brother, uncle and friend to everyone around me. Will I mess up and lose sometimes, of course, that will happen. But what makes that situation different or me different is what you do after you lose. Are you going to stay upset about it for a long period of time? Or are you going to be upset or think about what happened or what you did and move on and try and do better next time? It’s all on your outlook and how you see it playing out in front of you.

Now you can learn from anything, it doesn’t have to be from sports. For me personally, that’s where it all started for me. From a young age, I started to taste the sweet taste of winning and the ugly side to losing. I have definitely lost more than I have won in my life. Now with losing more than I have won, has only made me hungrier and more motivated to win and continue to do better every day.

TWTMDE

Welcome to my 100th post. It seems like forever now, but 100 posts and still going. In that time I have written 100 posts, it’s crazy what I have seen over that time.

I guess for starters recognizing how blessed and lucky I am. This year alone I went backpacking across Europe for two weeks. I went to the outer banks for a week on vacation two different times this summer. Now my sister is getting married tomorrow. Then 41 days later I will be getting married.

One of the things I struggled with the most in my life and early days, was wondering if I would ever be good enough for someone else? Now here I am a little more than a month away from marrying my beautiful fiancée.

It’s Almost Time

To be honest it still doesn’t feel like I’m getting married. I went so many years not dating and wondering if I ever will find her or if I’m lucky enough to get married. It was such a quick turn around. We dated for less than four months and I proposed. Engaged for just about four months and then I’ll be married. It’s interesting seeing God work and how quickly things can change.

Besides getting married which is amazing and huge of course. Another thing I’m working on is publishing my book this year. I think it is finally ready. I’m ready to share this with the world and share my story. Yes, it still terrifies me and freaks me out of course. But hey whoever said that wasn’t a bad thing? I think that’s how you grow and get better. Getting yourself out of your comfort zone and stretching yourself. That’s how you start to find yourself and see who you really are and what your made of and capable of in your life.

Keep Going

That’s part of the reason why I started this blog. Is to continue to keep writing and keep trying to get better at writing. Is there room for improvement, absolutely I won’t deny that. Do I think I have come a long way since my first post and when I first started writing? Yes, I think I have. I hope I’m able to publish a couple hundred more posts over the years. How cool would it be if I end up sharing 1,000 posts?

The goal is to try and connect with kids and young adults who have similar stories and issues like me. I’m here to tell them, that anything is possible. I was that kid who hated school and wasn’t good at it. Some days I would have rather been tortured physically instead of taking a test or reading in front of the class. That to me was torture enough and embarrassing. It was hard and was hell for me. Reading, writing, spelling, math, anything else you can think of it was hard for me.

I Believed The Lies

For a good chunk of my life and all of my teenage years and about the first half of my 20s I let my weaknesses control me. My weaknesses and Fred, my alter ego controlled every movement of my life it felt like. It wasn’t Peter running the show, I was a zombie just going with the flow. Most of the time it felt like I was on cruise control, I didn’t know what was going on.

Well, I’m here to tell you right here and right now. That all of my faults, my weaknesses and the things I struggled with in school the only reason why they controlled me was I let them. I was listening to myself. That’s what I kept telling myself over the years and feeding my head with these lies. After a while, my lies started to sound believable and I was now listening to myself and believing it.

Bigger Picture

That’s why my book had to be written. That’s why this blog had to be created. I’m glad I had over 105 agents reject me. Sure, at the moment, I was sad and wondering if this will ever work. Looking back, I just don’t think I was ready. I’m one of those people that believes everything happens for a reason. I believe I was meant to finally meet Lindsay at the beginning of the year. I believe all of those rejections I had received was all pointing me to create this blog. It was all different pieces I was putting together to finish the puzzle.

Now it’s not about me anymore, or my books and blog. After reading this, what is it you need to work on or fix? I have a lot of stuff still to work on. I’m still battling insecurities and going back and forth with every day. I don’t have much confidence in myself, I’m always negative toward myself throughout the day. Depression has been a constant battle over the years. I have become my own worst enemy over the years.

Never Stop Dreaming

My story is out in the public now. I have a lot of work to do still. There is a lot of room for improvement, I’m far from cured. But here’s the kicker that a lot of people miss over the years. This was something I couldn’t really grasp at a young age. There’s always going to be something we’re working on or trying to improve or fix as we age and get older. Honestly, that’s how it should be. I feel if you just settle with where you are and what you’re doing in life then you already have one foot in the grave.

Life is supposed to be special, and precious. We only get one chance at it and one life. We need to all start doing better and making the most of it. Start tackling those goals and dreams you have been talking about for years. It’s time to stop talking, and time to start doing.

What Is Your Life

Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

Going back to age six I always thought I was meant for something bigger and better than just me and the “normal life”. Nothing against that life that people live. I just always imagined and envisioned from an early age that life is so precious and so special, why waste it? Why do we waste it on stupid stuff?

Look At Your Situation

For me I always wanted to help people from a young age, I just didn’t know how or where to begin. Part of the reason why I wanted to help people is that I know I was broken and I needed help myself. Thinking if I help enough people that might help me. What if I do enough good deeds, will that make me feel better about myself and love myself for once? Will that bring joy to me and happiness to me? The answer is no. Yes, I will be helping people which will be awesome. What is it that will make me happy, what am I meant to do?

I don’t know what I meant to do. What if writing doesn’t work out for me? What if my books don’t get published and never turned into movies? Well, that would suck and I’ll be sad that my earthly goals didn’t pan out. Were only here on earth for a short stint. What’s the point in wasting the rest of the days I have left? Yes, I’ll be sad for a few days or weeks, whatever the time frame might be that’s not the point. The point is I tried, and it didn’t work out and it wasn’t meant to be and I move on.

Comfort Zone 

What I’m trying to share is we are only here for a short time. Stop wasting your time doing what you don’t want. If your job isn’t going anywhere then leave and take a new opportunity for less pay starting out doing what your dream job is. If you’re not happy in your relationship and it’s not going anywhere then maybe it’s time to move on?

Our life is a mist, your life will only be around for a short time. Life has been going on before you were born and it will continue once your mist disappears. Every now and then it hits me and I reminisce on what I have done. I have written three books and read 40 books and listened to 10 more audiobooks in four years.

Never Stop

Now I’m trying to turn my weaknesses and things that I hate about myself and I’m embarrassed about into a positive. Do I like opening up about my life and all of my personal stuff, no I don’t not many people would haha. But I’m doing that because not only will it help me feel better about myself. I want to turn my baggage and what I’ve learned into a positive somehow. What better way to do that than sharing what I have learned over the years.

Will people remember me for years after I’m dead, who knows, maybe maybe not? Part of me hopes that they would remember. I hope that they remember the person I am and what I tried doing and accomplishing before I die. Helping kids like me that were angry, felt alone and lost in the world. That’s my goal is to help those kids stay away from the darkness and shadows I was in for too many years. If I can help kids over the years by sharing my story, that will be a dream come true. As much as I want that dream to come true, and for the last almost eight years that was my main goal. Writing and helping kids and connecting with them.

Live It Up

Before my mist disappears at the end of my road. My priority is to make sure I can be the best son, brother, uncle, friend, and husband in 56 days and hopefully one day a father. Will I screw up, of course? Overall, I want those close to me to know that I love them and I tried my best every day for them. I didn’t always know the best way to share my love and sometimes I didn’t show it enough. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t care. I hope my actions every day explained how much I care about you.

That’s why I work as hard as I do. It’s not just for me it’s for you, it’s for my family and friends. It’s for the people that don’t know me and have no idea who Peter Harrower is. I’m sure there will be people that will never hear about the world through my dyslexic eyes. That’s just how it is, I’m just trying to make the most of the days I have right now.

Enjoy The Ride

Why keep worrying about what’s next and what’s in front of you? I’m still working on that and it’s definitely not easy. For me, sometimes I focus more on the future and miss out on the present and next thing I know it’s now the past and it’s over.

Don’t make the same mistakes that I’ve made over the years. Enjoy the ride, enjoy the scenery and slow down and take your time. Live in the moment and let whatever comes next happen and don’t focus and worry about what hasn’t happened yet. Thank God every day for waking you up and for another day. Because some people don’t have that luxury that we have to see what we want one last time. You never know when it might be your time. Live it up and make the most of your mist and what’s in front of you.

Do You Believe

I believe we all have a purpose and we’re all meant to do something special in our life. Now some will be legendary and go on to do amazing things. Others might be a little on the smaller scale and maybe not as crazy. Now that doesn’t mean they are not important or not special. It just means they were meant for something different.

It started when I was younger and growing up. I always believed I had a purpose and was meant for something special. Now I had no idea what that was. Even in my bad years I never stopped believing it. Some days I would consider it a win if I got out of bed.

Through it all I never stopped believing, some days If we’re being honest. I had to lie to myself about my purpose and to help keep me going. Now it was kind of funny and stupid because I knew I was lying to myself. As sad as it sounds or it might be, it worked sometimes.

I Lied Constantly

If you don’t have a purpose then you don’t have a life. Somedays I would tell myself, I don’t know what my purpose is or what I meant to be doing, now what? That was a lie I or we tell ourselves sometimes. Because we all have a purpose we just don’t know what it is yet. We all have a purpose, some are bigger than others. Others will, unfortunately, be cut shorter than some.

That’s life that’s how it works sometimes, and there is only so much we can control. Now the good thing is work ethic and what we want to do today or tomorrow is up to us. Just because you don’t know your purpose or what you are meant to do, doesn’t mean you don’t have one. Who knows maybe where you are right now, or what you’re doing at this moment. Is helping build you up for what’s in front of you, and what’s going to happen in the near future.

Somedays It Sucks

For me, I believe from ages 6-25 was all building me up to what it is I’m meant to do. I’ll be honest I don’t have the best patients. I wanted to know right away, I’m sure like most people in whatever situation they are in. I thought if I find my purpose now or figure out whatever the heck I’m supposed to do. Well, then I can start on it already and start following through with my purpose in life no matter what it was. I got so focused on the end product and where I was meant to go, I got distracted by where I was in life and the journey I was currently going through.

Somedays it’s hard to enjoy the journey, and life is hard and it’s not easy. Well, I hate to break it to you, but that’s life. Not every day is going to be a breeze. Not every day is going to be horrible, well for your sake hopefully not haha.

All those years in my past, Peter was telling me I do have a purpose and I am meant for something special. God didn’t mess up on me, I was just in a bad place and Fred my alter ego was just trying to bring me down. It was easier that way, I was waving the white flag I just didn’t care anymore and gave up. I let Fred control me and take over, I know it was wrong at the time and I knew what he was doing. But I was so weak and vulnerable I didn’t care, I had no fight left in me.

No Backup Plan

Yes, it was a roller coaster of a life. I was on and had a lot of ups and downs over the years. Overall, I made it and I have never felt better and more alive. Sure, every once and awhile I have brief moments about what if it doesn’t work? What if nobody buys my book or the few views on my blog I’m getting now just stop? Well, I don’t know what to say to that, I just try to avoid those poor thoughts. Because I don’t want to think, well if it doesn’t work out then I tried or I’ll go back to my plan B. People I have no plan B, writing is my passion and I believe this is what I’m meant to do. Will it be an easy road of course not, it’s already been a long bumpy journey so far?

Writing is my purpose, I believe writing will take me to where I’m supposed to be one day. Once again, I don’t know where that is or how to get there. You just need to take it one day at a time, one step at a time.

What’s Your Purpose

It’s easy to think were the problem or if only this would have happened or I did this or that. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, everything happens for a reason good or bad. What you do with those situations is how you figure out who you are and what you’re capable of doing. Will you make the most of your situations or let whatever situations and issues come your way make you? You do have a purpose just like I do. You might not know what it is yet, but it’s ok I’m right there with you trying to figure it out.

That’s no reason to give up and throw in the towel. It might suck right now, and be very frustrating. Now is the time to keep fighting for what you want in life. What is it you want to do with your life? If you can’t answer that question, then keep living and keep learning and working. When the time is right it will come to you, and your purpose and life will all make sense one day.

Time To Change

As I’m writing this right now and reflecting a little of where I am in this stage of my life. I’m overwhelmed with emotions and just everything all around me. On one side I’m beyond blessed, I have an amazing family. I’m getting married in 77 days. I know I’m very lucky and I’m excited about what’s next for me and for what God has planned for me. It wasn’t always that easy, I had to train my mind to think that way.

Now on the flip side. I’m also a little nervous with the field I’m trying to get in and what I’m trying to bring to life. I have this blog now that I’m sharing very personal and intimate details about me and my life. I’m a very private person, and I always kept to myself and have always been very cautious with who I talked to and who I open up with.

Real Me

I can’t keep living a double life anymore. If I’m going to be 100% real with the world and try and share what I have learned with kids and help them. Well, then I have to be honest and have to be real and tell them who I am and how Peter really operates on a regular day.

This was never my goal to be this open and vulnerable right now. This was never my intention, using my blog and part of my first book as an open journal to share with the world. But that’s the direction I started heading with it and I just rolled with it. So that’s where we are right now, I’m trying to figure this out as I’m going through life. But that’s all of us, we all have our moments and ups and downs that’s what I’m working on right now.

New Me

That’s why I’m trying to train my mind toward what it is I want to do and accomplish right now in my life. Could I write a book? Yes, I have written three. How far could I take my blog? This is my 94th post and I have had over 3,000 views so far. I hate reading. I would cry when I was younger when I had to read because I was slow and didn’t understand what I read, It’s still a struggle sometimes. In the last four years, I have read 41 books and listened to 11 audiobooks.

With my mind made up about what I didn’t want to do, look at what I just did and accomplished? I’m now heading in the direction I was trying to avoid my whole life. I’m now reading and writing books and entering a field I never thought I belonged in. Now I feel like I have every right to be in this field.

Go All In

I have been saying for a long time, if I can do it you can do it and its true. I stopped using excuses and my weaknesses and decided to flip the script and decided to not use the cards I was dealt with as an excuse anymore. I’m committed to do something that’s bigger than me and be a part of something that’s more important than just Peter. I’m just a guy that got sick and tired of the lifestyle I was living and what I was doing with myself. I knew if I wanted a change in my life, then I had to commit and do something about it.

Training my mind and changing my view towards the world and my life was the first step I had to make. Even though that was the first step to make, and there will be plenty of steps after to make. The first step is always the hardest, at least for me that is. Your scared, shaking, nervous about what you’re trying to do and what you want to do. You’re probably debating should I go; can I really make this decision?  What if it doesn’t work out or I fail? Well if it doesn’t work out and then you fail, that’s life. I have failed more than enough in my life. But that didn’t stop me. Sure, it slowed me down for a little bit being upset about whatever happened to me.

I Have A Purpose

Now with whatever happens in your life and whatever happens to you in your time why you’re on earth. You can’t use that as an excuse, and a cop out. For most of my life, I questioned and wondered why God created me and why he gave me my disability and faults? That’s probably normal to think that sometimes. But with thinking that, I easily could not have been here today. My mom had to have an emergency c section because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. My whole body was blue when I was born.

For years thinking about why God gave me these faults and my Learning Disability and almost blaming him. Another way I can look at it like my dad reminded me one day. I could have or should have died that day I was born 28 years ago? There’s another way to look at it, he wanted me to be here for a reason?

The Choice Is Yours

I never really thought about it like that before. Yes, if your wondering, parents do know what they are talking about sometimes as hard as that is to believe, haha just kidding. But he’s right, I could have easily died with lack of oxygen that day but I didn’t.

It’s a mindset and it’s not always easy but you have to train your mind sometimes. Who knows sometimes you might have to trick your mind as well if your plan is not working. Again, it’s all on how you see the world and what you want to see in YOUR world. You can train your mind to be positive or negative. You can train your mind to see the glass half full or half empty. The choice is yours and only you can decide that.

Big Mistake

Looking back I will admit I settled. Through my earlier years, I used my disability as an excuse. I was lazy and tried taking the easy approach through the years. With that poor attitude and mindset, I think that affected what I loved most at the time, sports.

There’s nothing I can do about it now, I have to move on. Some people might say they accepted what happened to them, and keep doing the same thing every day. For me, I accepted what I did wrong but it wasn’t good enough just accepting. I needed to fix what I messed up and change directions. I didn’t like the direction I was heading.

Made Me Stronger

The last few years I have definitely matured and have noticed my faults and what I did wrong all of those years ago. Does it bother me, yes I’m embarrassed about what I did or didn’t do? Do I wish I could have changed what I did or tried harder? The answer is no. If I would have tried harder or felt better about my effort I gave. Then I don’t think I would have had the hunger toward life and what I’m trying to accomplish now. Yes, through those years there were some tuff days. But with where I am right now, I can honestly sit back and smile at how I’m trying to fix my past mistakes to grow and get better now.

I didn’t go to college like everyone else. I knew there was something else in store for me. I’m not like everyone else, I think I have made that clear haha. Recognizing that I am different and unique in my own way. Realizing this hidden gift that was forming all these years that was slowly starting to come to life as I was entering my 20s.

Mind Tricks

That weakness at the time and something I was so bad at. Writing saved me and gave me a new outlook on life. Writing gave me a purpose for the first time in my life. From a young age, I always wanted to help people somehow and make a difference in some way, I just didn’t know how. When I discovered writing could be fun and not just be work, it was like my mind opened up and I was seeing the world for the first time. I was stepping into something new that I never thought I would be in.

Now at 28, about to marry the love of my life in three months. I never thought I would find a girl to want to be with me. All of the baggage I have and all of the issues and bad habits I developed all of these years. Lacking confidence in myself, hoping and praying one day I will get married. Maybe one day be able to help people somehow? I always prayed for that, but in the back of my mind, I never believed I could be happy and that would actually happen for me.

I Was Scared

Writing has given me more than I could ever give it. I still lack confidence in myself and I still have a lot to work on. But that’s life we will always have something to work on and should be working on. We should always be trying to get better in what we do and in life in general. That’s where a lot of people screw up, I included in my earlier years. I thought it would be safer if I just hide from the issues that were controlling me.

It was a long and bumpy ride. I went off course and changed directions multiple times, and spinning in circles. Now I’m trying to enter a field that I never dreamed of being in. It’s not just for my own sake trying to fix my issues, it’s also trying to help those people that I always imagined I would be helping one day. Now I can do both. I think that’s what I have been missing all of these days. In order to help myself, I need to help others in some way.

Sharing With Others

I never realized that’s what might help me to feel better and to make a difference. It’s not about me and being selfish and focusing on me anymore. With helping kids like me not make the same mistakes as I did. Giving back and sharing my story, from a regular guy like them that didn’t like who he was and knew he had to change something if he wanted to win in life. I believed all of that I just didn’t know how to do it.

Now I want to share that with the world. Life is too short, and life is too precious. Time goes by way too quick for us to just stay content and take the safe approach toward life. If you’re passionate about something then go for it.

Life Should Be Fun

Yes, it might be stressful some days, especially right now for me. I’m trying to finish my books, I’m getting married in a few months. But that’s life I’m not going to complain about it. I’m beyond blessed right now. I’m writing and trying to turn what I believe I was called to do and turn that into a career.

Of course, it’s always harder starting out and starting from the begging. But I know I’m spoiled I have an amazing family and fiancé supporting me. I have a great group of friends and people I’m close with excited to read my book and see what I do next. If that doesn’t motivate me to keep going and keep working hard then I don’t know what will. Now I know I can’t stop, I have set these big dreams and goals of helping people and making a difference in the world why I can. That’s why now is the time, now is your time to keep moving forward, and go all in.

The Story

When an elephant is first born to help train the elephant not to run away. They tie a rope around one of their legs. The rope is strong enough where the baby elephant can’t break the rope. As the years go on and the elephant grows and gets bigger and bigger. The rope is the same, it never changes only the elephant gets bigger.

Wait, you’re telling me a full-size elephant is being tied down by this little rope? Do you know why? It’s because it was trained from a young age to believe they couldn’t break the rope. Even when they became a full-size elephant with thousands of pounds of strength and power inside of them. They still would always think back to those earlier years of being tied down from a young age.

Mindset

It’s amazing how the mind works and how once we get something in our head, positive or negative it doesn’t matter. Once that thought get’s in our head then we continue to feed off it and after a while, it can start to control us.

When I was six and diagnosed with my disability. I never thought I would see the day that I graduate school and receive that piece of paper I have been dreaming about. Praying and focused so much on graduating, that was always at the end of my tunnel waiting for me. I realized I’m not going to be able to graduate school. I’m not smart, I can’t read, write, well everything else that has to do with school. I’ll never be able to read fast I hate reading, I hate writing.

People Can Change

In the last four years I have almost read 50 books now, can you believe that? At 28 I have written three books all over 70,000 words in them. I have a blog and I have published 90 posts so far. I have a learning disability and can’t spell and suck with grammar and punctuation. How can a dyslexic kid who can’t read and write do that? What does that mean?

I’ll tell you what it means, it means that I stopped listening to my old self and changed. That rope was wrapped around my leg at six years old, and at 25 I ripped that post right out of the ground. I had enough, it was time for a change. That rope controlled me for 19 years. If I want to make something of myself then I have to do something about it.

Listen To Yourself

The rope is gone and I’m free, now what? I have no idea but I’m free, life is easier now right it’s all smooth sailing from here? Wrong, reality kicked in. I’m sick and tired of people complaining and giving up and not trying there hardest to go after something they want in life. I would know because that used to be me, I was lazy through my whole school career. I used my disability as a cop out and was expecting everything to be easy. News flash it wasn’t, the real world came and smacked me in my face.

I didn’t like where I was going in life and I didn’t like being held down anymore. At 25, I decided to fight for my life. Time after time pulling and pulling and I finally got out, I’m free now. I did it, now it’s time to work and now it’s time to start living for once in my life. I have these goals and I can’t accomplish them by being tied down. It’s time to see what’s calling my name.

Do you want to know what I kept hearing once I snapped that rope in half and became free? What I heard calling me was anything I want. I was free to do whatever and go where ever. It is 2018 and there are more than enough opportunities now to chase that dream of yours.

My Battle

Now that I have grown up, well when it comes to my nephews and nieces I still have to be the fun uncle. I recognized where I was and what I was doing and I didn’t like it. Life is short and life is so precious and we take it for granted far too often. I never used to like what I saw when I was looking in the mirror at myself. The hatred I had for myself and who I was, I wanted to be anyone else but me when I was a kid. It doesn’t work that way, this is the life I was given and these were the cards I was dealt.

What I can do and what you can do, is work with what you got. I decided to work with what I got and change my ways. Now here we are I’m 28 and hopefully going to publish my first book this year. I’m engaged and getting married in a few months. I have three amazing sisters, two parents. I don’t even know how many nephews and nieces I have now, 11 I think haha?

Reality Check

I shouldn’t be upset anymore about the issues and faults I have. I should be embracing what I’m good at now, not focusing on the bad. Well, that’s what I’m doing now, that’s why I’m writing this book. I’m sharing my faults and issues and lessons I have learned over the years so kids and young adults don’t have to go through what I went through. I don’t want them to get tied down and have that rope tied around their leg longer then it has to.

It sucks and it’s hard, but it doesn’t have to be like that all of the time. It’s about time we all start sharing more and opening up more. You never know who you might connect with and who you might impact when you open up. The lessons we learn and the life we see over the years is meant to be shared and passed on to others. It’s about time we all start sharing.

I’m My Own Beast

When you hear Beast what do you think? Something big and scary, something that might frighten you? Now the definition might be similar, but what beast we see could be very different in everyone’s eyes. Some might be intimidated by something in front of them, that has control over you every day.

Who is my beast it’s simple, me? I have been avoiding the beast that had my number for years. I was always scared to face him and fight back because I was so weak mentally. Looking in the mirror was always hard because I didn’t like who I was looking at. Until I decided enough is enough, it’s time to face my beast once and for all and do something about it. My shadow always controlled me all of these years. Following me and constantly staring me down every day. It was time to face my beast and face my toughest opponent in my life, me.

Mind Games

In the back of my mind, I kept hearing from a young age. I’m not good enough to play basketball and make it to the NBA. I’m just squeaking by in school, that’s because my parents and teachers did most of the work for me. I can’t win and be successful in life, what’s the point in even trying and living? I wanted to give up before I really even started. Waving the white flag and already saying uncle, I just gave up.

I failed so much in my past and felt alone and useless over the years, I thought what can I accomplish? Who would want to date me or possibly marry me with the issues and baggage I’m dragging behind me every day? It was easy thinking of all of the negatives because I felt like I hadn’t done much in my life up to this point. I was an easy target for myself to attack.

My Purpose

Now here we are, going from most of my life not wanting to live feeling useless and embarrassed for who I am. Now wanting to live and proud of who I am and for what I’m trying to accomplish. I now know why God put this disability on my shoulders. Of course, I could be wrong, haha, but I truly think it’s to help kids. Help kids and young adults like me who feel different and unique and alone. Kids who are searching and confused as to why they are here and who they are.

My disability which I thought at the time was a curse helped me to see the world and everything differently in my life. Welcome to The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes. This is my story, I just happened to be dyslexic. We all have a story, and it’s unique and different. That’s what makes all of us so special and life so precious.

Time For A Change

I was sick of who I was and the fact that my shadow and other side kept controlling me all of these years. It was time for a change and I had to do something about it. It was time to shut up, and for once in my life let my actions talk for me.

It’s halfway through 2018. I have written three books and at the moment I have four more books that I want to write. I have read almost 50 books in the last four years, and now blogging. At 21 I decided I’m going to try and enter a field I never thought I could or should be in. Now at 28, there is no trying anymore. I’m determined and there is no hesitation about becoming a published author. When it’s all said and done I don’t have an end goal of how many books I want to sell or how big of a writer I want to be. I could care less about that part of the business, that’s not why I want to be a writer and publish books. I have said that hundreds of times and I will keep saying it.

You Are Driving Me

What’s driving me now to become the best writer and Peter I can be. It’s easy, yes, I have personal goals I’m trying to hit and some fun goals that would be awesome to hit. In the end, it’s one thing and one thing only. It’s you, it’s the kid’s that are like me and have a similar background like me. That’s it there’s no if’s and’s or butts about it.

The only reason why I want to sell millions of copies of books is for potentially the millions of kids I could be talking to. It doesn’t matter if I make $3 a book or a penny a book I DONT CARE. Some people do it for the money and that’s fine, that’s their choice.

Reality Check

Life is short, life is a gift. Far too many of us take advantage of that and abuse it every day. Myself included, I have my off days. We only get one life and one chance to live, when we die it’s GAME OVER. There are no do-overs, no second chances its checkmate.

That’s why the last few years my mindset changed, I was looking at life all wrong. It was a rude awakening but I finally get it now. That’s why it was time to fight back, not because I had to and it’s the correct thing to say. It’s because I was sick of losing and scared of the road I was going down. It was time for a change and to get out of the shadows. All of these years I have been searching, praying, and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a long journey and a hard battle every day over the last 28 years. I’m not done yet, and I feel like I’m only getting started.

Backpacking 2018

If you haven’t noticed I have been a little MIA the last few weeks. I was backpacking across Europe for two weeks on a mission’s trip with Live10:27. We traveled through 10 countries. I landed in England, we took another plane to Denmark for two days. After that in the days to come, I went to Sweden, Germany, Belgium, Cech Republic, Luxemburg, Austria, Italy, Switzerland. I got home around 12:30 AM on Wednesday, and yes if you’re wondering I’m still tired and kind of out of it.

Not only was it a great opportunity to travel and see the world, which is an awesome bonus. I love to travel and see new things. I love my home in Lancaster, but in case you didn’t know this. There is a lot in the world outside of Lancaster PA haha. Being the youngest of four I have always felt safe at home and I always liked being home and felt comfortable. I’m not a big fan of change and being taken out of my comfort zone, well till the last few years. For years I didn’t like who I was and where I was going with myself in life. I had to do something about it, I just didn’t know where to begin.

Wherever you are in your life right now. If you’re in a slump and not sure what’s next for you or trying to figure out your next move. Maybe you need to get out for a little bit and do something different or out of your comfort zone?

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” – Neale Donald Walsch

Blaming God

For years and years, I didn’t like who I was and the person God created. For most of my life, I questioned why he made me the way he did and put this disability on my shoulders? I always wondered if maybe I was the one mistake he had in creating me? Quickly realizing he didn’t make a mistake, it was just my mind playing games on me. I was feeding my mind these lies for years and years. I didn’t know who to talk to, and nobody could understand what it was like being in my situation. So, I needed someone to blame and put this on.

This trip opened up a lot for me and let me see a lot of things in my life so far. Yes, I got to travel and see the world which I can’t take for granted. Not many people get to travel, and I feel lucky enough to have that opportunity. I have been to 13 different countries and they are all special and beautiful and unique in their own way. From the Alps in Switzerland to the canals in Venice Italy. All the way to a small little town in Peru. I have seen a lot over the years.

Part Of The Game

That’s why those trips are going to play a huge role in making me a better person. All of those countries I had the opportunity to visit and see, I couldn’t have done that without financial support from friends and family. I’ve taken advantage of people in the past of giving money and not truly grasping the concept of it. How people must feel about me to be willing to give up their hard-earned money to send me on these trips.

Some of the places I saw in the last two years would be a dream vacation to see what I saw. Here I am to have had the opportunity to see some of these places twice and seeing how beautiful and magical these places really are. I think this year it really hit me, how some people really care about me to help me go on this trip. That’s one of the things I learned on this trip.

Stretch Yourself

I had the opportunity to talk to a lot of cool people this year and hear their stories. It was a lot of fun and a great experience for me. That’s why I think if you’re not sure where to begin or in a slump. Then go travel somewhere for some time. Get away from your everyday life and put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Sleep outside at a train station In Munich Germany. Sleep in an uncomfortable overnight train going to Venice Italy. Or maybe if you get the opportunity, go sleep in a Chalet in the Swiss Alps for a night.

Do things you normally never thought you would do. Take yourself out of your daily routine and stretch yourself. Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and seeing what the world gives you and what you see and how you react to what is placed in front of you. That’s how I think you find the type of person you are.

Eye Opening

Traveling on this trip helped me appreciate the things I have. It helps me to realize how lucky I am to have a bed and roof over my head. Sleeping outside at a train station like what a homeless person does every night. Here I am doing it for one night, and who knows how long a homeless person has been doing it for. I know how lucky and blessed I really am. I have seen more than a good percentage of the people in the world. I’m taking myself out of my daily routine, trying to figure out who Peter is and trying to better myself.

That’s what we all should be doing every day. Some might have to leave the country, some might be lucky enough and just have to go for a short walk and think. It doesn’t matter who you are and how you do it. The point is that you do something to make yourself uncomfortable and start living why you still have the opportunity to live.

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75” – Benjamin Franklin

Do You Know

What’s your gift to the world? Maybe at this very moment, it’s hard to believe you really have anything positive to share with the world. What can I give the world? I’m a bum, I suck at school, I’m not that smart I can’t read well. I have no degree next to my name. When I look at my resume what do I see? A variety of jobs over my life, some lasting longer than others. Realizing every few years in my life I get in a funk, it seems like I need something different in my life. Maybe I’m not in a funk, maybe the jobs I had at the time were just another step in moving in my direction.

Everything happens for a purpose, and everything that happened to me in my past brought me to this very moment for a reason. For years and years, I thought Peter was going to end up just being a pawn in life. What can I really do? I’m athletic and picked up sports very easily. I like to think I’m funny and can make people laugh. School was hell for me, I can be very sarcastic. I have anger issues, my disability still haunts me and hangs over me to this day.

In the end, I think I have a good heart, and I like to make people happy. I don’t like seeing people angry and down, because I was in a bad place and at a low on and off for most of my life. I clearly know what kind of toll that can take on a person, and how heavy of a burden that can be.

Never Stop Moving Forward

That’s why I think writing and sharing my story was placed in my heart. Just like trying to help people and make them happy in life. That’s why I think my writing is going to have an impact on people. I know first-hand what you’re going through at this very moment.

It’s not easy, in case you haven’t noticed life can be hard. Life can keep you down if you stop fighting back. I was waving the white flag and with no care in the world for far too long. Finally, it hit me, maybe all of this was just all a part of my story and what I’m supposed to share in my future?

My Gift

Now I truly believe this will be my gift back to the world. Will I go on and sell millions of copies and have some of my books be turned into movies. Part of me want’s to say yes and I hope so, I won’t lie about that. I truly think they can bring entertainment to others in the world, and that’s the goal. I want to make people happy and show them a different view and approach to life that maybe they didn’t see before. Am I trying to force something on to them or my views, no of course not? I’m just showing them one example of how someone sees the world through his eyes. That’s what’s beautiful about this, all of our stories see the world differently every day.  

Overall my priorities are to share my story with anyone and everyone that want’s to listen. Yes, you read about my goals with selling millions of copies in my fiction series I’m working on. Then maybe those books being turned into movies. I’ll be honest those three books is something fun I’m working on and testing my creativity. Hopefully, that’s where I make some of my money back.

Never Say Never

I’m not writing my memoir and my blog, for the fame and money. My blog is just another location to reach people and another source for people to understand who the real Peter is. My book and blog are for people and kids, that have a disability or ever felt like me. Have you ever felt alone, angry, scared of what’s next and searching for direction and purpose? That’s the audience I’m trying to reach with my blog and memoir. It’s not about dollars sold from my books. It’s about the people buying those books that I’m talking to.

Looking back at my early life, I never thought I would be trying to enter this field. I also never thought I would still be living at this point. Like I said, I was in a dark place for a long time. Now here I am, and for good. Do I have everything figured out and a book deal to help share my story? No, that’s life we will never have everything figured out. No, I don’t have a book deal, I had 105 rejections from agents rejecting my books.

Share Your Gift

Having those rejections, well that sucked I won’t lie haha. You can’t give up. I found a different approach now and taking a different path to my end goal of becoming a published author. I looked myself in the mirror and thought hundreds of times, maybe even thousands of times. Calling myself names that I’m not going to repeat here. I hated myself for years. I still struggle with that to this day. Through it all, I firmly believe this was placed in my heart for a reason. That’s why I’m so determined to make this dream and project of mine a reality.

From a young age, I knew I was different and was always meant for something bigger. I just didn’t know what that was. Now I know what it is. As much as writing brings me joy and makes me feel free and happy. I’m doing it for you just as much as I’m doing it for me. I’m stubborn and I can’t quit now, it doesn’t matter how many rejections I receive. This stubborn dyslexic kid is determined to enter a field that he never imagined of being in. I’m determined to share my story and passion I have towards life and what I want to accomplish.