My Imperfections

I Was A Puppet

Imperfections, to some, might be a negative or might be a positive. Were all meant for something special, embrace it and yourself. Now that would be the mindset of a mature person who has seen life and been through some ups and downs over the years. That was not my views and version of life over the years.

My imperfections, faults, and issues controlled me and my life every day. I was a puppet in this game of life. I had no control over my life and what I wanted to do. It felt like someone was controlling me and moving me along every day. I was losing control and the strength as the years were going on.

The way I was moving in my life and the direction I was heading, I didn’t see the light at the end of my tunnel. For a long time, there was no hope, I kept failing and falling every day. I would try and stand and would just fall or get kicked down again and again. It was life vs me, Peter vs Fred, my alter ego. Life and Fred kept controlling me and my outlook towards life for far too long. It was not good where Fred was taking me and the directions I was heading. It was not safe or healthy for me.

This Is Who I Was Meant To Be

Now here we are, just a few short years later. Now I’m not fully healed, I still have a lot more work to do. I won’t lie about that, but I also won’t lie and say I’m better to make it sound like I’m healed. I’m human, in case you forgot haha. We all have our ups and downs, that’s normal, that’s life. The only difference is what do you do when you’re up, and then when your down? How you respond in those moments is the kind of person you are. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. Your outlook toward life and whatever situation you’re in the process of going through. Well, that’s your views toward life and what you can expect from it.

Like I said my faults and imperfections controlled me for far too long. I’m not proud of that and looking back now it was all a part of my journey I was meant to travel on. These issues that I had, have and are still going through and battling with every day. Those issues are turning me into the person I’m meant to become now. It took a long time to accept that, and finally be able to say those words.

We All Have A Story

My imperfections and what I thought were negatives over the years and the lack of skill I have holding me back. I think those lack of skills that I didn’t think I have, is what’s going to help take me to the next level. Going through those hard times and issues all those years ago is turning me into the person this world was supposed to see. My new view towards life, and the world through my eyes have completely changed.

I’m starting to like who the real Peter is and what I think I’m meant to do. Somehow, someway, I believe I’m going to be able to give back and help others. Well, that’s the goal at least, share my story and how I see the world. I want to help others, I believe these issues were placed on my heart for a reason. Putting myself out there with my memoir that I have written and opening up my life to the world. I believe is the first step to finally excepting who I am and the struggles I have had over the years.

New Views Toward Life

I’m a very private person, I don’t like opening up about myself or what I’m thinking. I have always been that way from a young age. But here I am, this will be the 87th post that I have posted now. I have written a book strictly about my issues over the years. I have also written the first two books of a three-book fiction series I’m working on. Also, I want to create another series for kids, I’m far from done.

My focus is sharing my story and connecting with people and kids just like me. I’m putting myself out there and to the public so you can see it’s not so bad. I’m definitely nobody special, I was born with a disability and got sick and tired of hating myself and making excuses. Now at 28 and in the last few years, I have come to accept who I am. Now my focus is helping those that are going through or just about to start going through the same issues like me.

Fight Back

I have a lot of faults, many things I’m not crazy about or sometimes wish I would change. But then some days I think, well if I would have changed some of my faults what would I be doing now? Who knows if I would even be writing at the moment. Would I have found this passion and love for writing and wanting to help people almost seven years ago? The answer is probably not.

That’s why when you’re going through some tuff times or are feeling down. Just remember everything happens for a reason, and whatever you are going through at this moment. It will get better and you are strong enough to figure it out. Me on their other hand, I was not strong enough. I let my issues control me from day one. Now I have to work twice as hard to make up from the time I lost all of those years ago. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes as me. That’s what I’m trying to share now.