Month: December 2018

The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes

It’s Finally Here

Well, I have good news people. After four plus years and almost 300 hours spent working on my book. I’m happy to announce for the first time The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes is officially live and is now on Amazon. Links are below.

I would be lying if I didn’t say this felt weird but it does haha. I can now say Peter A Harrower is a published author. I can’t help but smile, I still can’t believe this happened. Thinking back to four years ago when I started this book. Wow, that would be cool if this actually gets published and becomes real and not just talk about it and hopefully become real one day.

A Long Time

Well, I did it and I cannot be more excited to announce that my number one goal for almost eight years now has come true. I’m able to call myself an author now. The point of this was not to become an author and fill my own pockets. The point of this was to share my story and what I have gone through over the years. My unique story is way bigger than any dollar amount. My story is unique and a one of a kind just like your story.

I know how hard it was dealing every day with my faults and weaknesses every day of my life. I mean I still struggle with them and I always will struggle with them. Finally, I found a way to fight back for the first time in my life. Instead of running from what I suck at now, I’m now embracing what I suck at and now sharing that with the world.

New Me

This book is way more than just a journal and sharing what I have learned over the years. This book is hopefully going to make a kid with dyslexia or battling whatever problems they have currently. It’s going to let them know that its ok to be afraid and scared to do the things you’re not good at. I’ll be honest I’m still scared to read in front of people to this day at 28. I’ll probably never be a fan of that.

I hated reading and writing all the way up to graduating from high school. Then it hit me a couple years later. Why not try and turn that weakness into a strength or at least try and become a little better? That’s what I did and that’s what I’m still doing and will always be doing. 49 books read in the last four and a half years. Three books were written and now finished in the last seven years and more ideas in the back of my mind waiting to be shared with the world.

My goal is to read 100 books by the time I’m 30. I have about 15 months left. Isn’t that funny how people can change? In my past, you couldn’t pay me to read. Now my new goal is to finish 51 books in the next 15 months haha.

Focus On You

My biggest goal for this book is to help that kid or 21 year old whatever the age. I want them to know that its ok if they don’t know what they want to do in life or what their career is yet. Yes, they might get upset seeing their friends finding their way and career in life but who cares. Yes, it might suck because they found it and you didn’t but it doesn’t matter. They have their own life and you have yours. It took me a long time to realize that and actually start believing it.

You just need to focus on your life and what you want to do and what you enjoy. Life is short and life is so precious, we only get one chance at it. It’s not a game where you get unlimited chances to beat that level. When you’re called home and it’s time for you to go there are no do-overs. What you did and put in up to this point is what you get out of it and that’s it.

Vision

That’s why now is the time to make the most of your life and don’t look back. When you’re on your death bed you know what should scare you and be one of the scariest things to see around your bed or in your mind? Is all the thought bubbles of I wish I did this or that? If only I had more time or could do it all over again. That is one of the scariest visions I have ever had in my life.

That vision is what drives me to make the most of my life now. Well, a lot of things drive me to make the most of it haha. God put me on earth and in this situation for a reason. I was blessed with the strengths and weaknesses for a reason. Now is the time to make the most of your life and live it up with no regrets why you can.

Go write that book and publish it in 2019. Go run that race or climb that mountain. It doesn’t matter what it is. We all have our own unique hills to climb in our life. I’m 28 and I just got over my first big hill in my life. That hill was finally publishing my book.

What’s Next

Now looking out at the beautiful view in front of me. Do you want to know what I see on my horizon? I see opportunity in front of me. Yes, there are hundreds of hills I need to climb still to keep going and there will always be hard times ahead. But that’s what I want, I don’t want a flat easy walk to my deathbed. I want to see the world and share the world with you and with my wife. That’s why now is the time to make the most of it and chase those dreams and goals you have in your life and make them a reality.

Here are the links to my book below. I hope you enjoy.

Kindle

 

 

 

 

Paperback

My Commitment

My Version

Commitment is something that has always been important to me. Commitment is something I always dreamed about and wondered what it would be like to be committed to someone and get married? I always thought what it would finally feel like for me to be able to share my commitment with someone else? There was one problem with thinking about my future commitment, I never actually thought it would happen to me.

For most of my life starting around six years old all the way to the begging of this year. In that time frame is about 22 years something like that. I never thought I actually would be getting married. I always dreamed and prayed for it for years. But in all reality my negative mindset and my reality that I saw everyday put up a brick wall thinking anyone could ever love me one day.

Wasn’t For Me

No girl could ever love me or date me. That’s impossible, and never going to happen. I have had this mindset for 22 years. In that time, I have been my toughest critic and my worst enemy in those years. I’ve been filled with hatred toward myself for years. I never thought I could find the love of my life. I can’t blame anyone for my negative and screwed up mentality that I have had for most of my life. The only one I can blame is myself.

I just snuck by graduating high school, I have no college degree. I have had in my life so far eight jobs I believe and I’m only 28. My longest job and relationship has been at Nike for almost four years. I have bounced around from job to job. I could never find something and stick with it because honestly after a while I got bored with it and I needed something new. This job wasn’t for me anymore, at least that’s what I felt like and told myself.

I Was Wrong

Now I was still thinking this way earlier January of 2018. Fast forward to getting married on October 6th and now it’s a week away from Christmas. I have been married for over two months now. You know what I have learned in that time period so far. Well, I have learned a lot haha. But one of the things that stuck out for me the most. I still do not understand women after all of this time with three sisters and my mom haha. But I also realized how completely wrong I was about commitment and my outlook toward it.

I have been scared of commitment and dating all of my life because of what I saw through my eyes daily. Not realizing that everyone is not like me or has the same outlook towards life. There are actually other people in the world who aren’t like me, and who think differently from me. I know it’s crazy isn’t it haha.

The Struggle

Here I was for most of my life looking at all the women I’ve talked to over the years. Thinking to myself what they saw and how I saw myself. Not realizing they are different and see things differently than myself.

I have had this conversation a few times with my wife about this. She doesn’t like hearing it because how I see myself is not how she sees myself. Not only is that awesome and amazing with what I have been through over the years but I’m glad nobody sees what I go through and see every day. I’m clearly not perfect and not anywhere close to being in the same time zone of perfection. I still struggle with this daily.

My Ultimate Prize

Sometimes I think why is Lindsay married to me? Again, she gets upset when I think this sometimes or say this stuff. Again, confidence and I have always had a tough relationship over the years. I’m still working on it.

With everything I have shared about my commitment and what I thought of it. I clearly don’t know what I’m talking about because my beautiful wife doesn’t see anything that I see haha. I’m glad about that, what she sees is well you can ask her if you’re that curious. All I can say is I’m glad she doesn’t see what is going on between my ears daily.

Will I screw up over the years absolutely thousands of times. Will I always be working on trying to better myself and doing the best I can. I won’t stop till the day I die. Because now my ultimate dream has come true, I found my Lioness. I have the ultimate prize I have been searching for in my life. I found my great white buffalo. No I’m not calling Lindsay a buffalo don’t worry, it’s from a movie haha.

I’m A Lucky Man

Yes, the other prizes that I’m working towards are, a career in writing and becoming an author and writing books and sharing my story. That will always be my dream and the earthly goal that I’m trying to reach by helping kids and impacting young adults. With that, in the end, I never thought I could be married or in a commitment with someone else other than my family. Well, I was wrong and I’m happy to admit that, this time haha.

I was so focused on what I thought about myself and what I saw every day, I didn’t consider that other people could see something different in me. I just want to let you know it’s possible and I’m living proof of that.

I’m so close to publishing my first book in the same calendar year, what else do I need? I’m very close to accomplishing my number one goal for over seven years now. I know how blessed I am and how thankful I should be. I see that now and one day you will be sitting where I am thinking the exact same thing.

School Vs The Real World

My Sentence

School was hell for me and it felt like I was in prison the whole time. I know that’s dramatic but it’s true. I’m not talking about my time with friends or sports. In this post, it’s about the learning side of it for me.

Imagine this for a minute. Think of something you’re not good at or don’t like doing? Imagine from k-12, as the subjects got harder and more homework and tests came along. My reading and writing level were always a couple of years behind everyone else and I struggled to advance with my grade.

My Struggle

Now put yourself in my shoes. I’m a senior it’s my last year of school. Everyone is happy and excited ready to be done and move on. For me, I was more focused on not having to read in front of everyone or spell anything or get called on during class. I wanted to hide in the corner when it came time for class. Because my levels were the same as a middle school kid, even though I was four plus years older.

Now at 18 years old, that doesn’t really help one’s confidence level if a 14-year-old has the same skills as me? Naturally, you can understand why I hated school and it didn’t do anything for me. Actually, it did a lot for me I was wrong. But what it did for me was not positive and the complete opposite of what teachers or my parents probably wanted for me. It taught me to hate and resent myself even more than I already have.

More Motivated

What I have learned from my years in school is absolutely NOTHING. Now that’s not a stab at schools it’s just my experience with it. What I have learned in the last four years alone has taught me way more than I ever learned in school.

With no college degree, and just sneaking by passing high school. I’m now starting to realize that I don’t need school or a degree to feel better or help me in life. I mean, of course, it doesn’t hurt especially if you have a certain career you’re in or chasing.

I’m not your typical student. I have never been like everyone else and I never will be like everyone else. I have always been different than everyone else and I always will be. I’m 28 now and I’m finally starting to recognize who I am and the kind of person I am.

Thank You

All though I hated school and I didn’t get much out of it. I have never appreciated school so much in my life till right now at 28. I’m sure you weren’t expecting that haha. Because of my hatred toward school and not being good at school. With my disability, I have to read the same sentence or paragraph a few times if I get confused. Even to this day I still get pissed sometimes when I have to do that. Yes, I get upset but that’s just a weakness of mine and I have accepted it now. But it doesn’t mean I have to love it or be ok with it. That’s why I read so much now.

I have read 48 books in almost five years. Till the time I graduated you could probably count the number of books I read cover to cover on one hand. I don’t read for pleasure like some people, I still HATE reading. Well, I’m starting to get better with it haha. I know that might not make much sense with me finishing so many books now. Plus now writing so much and wanting to become an author and write for a career.

One Of A Kind

I know that’s, not your typical reasoning for wanting to read and write. But the reason why I read so much now and write so much now is because of my past. I’m doing it because reading no matter how slow I read or how much I still struggle with it, the pros will always outweigh the cons. That’s why I want to get better now, is because of my love-hate relationship with reading and writing. 

That’s why I’m, not your typical writer and author. You know at 28, I’m finally figuring out who I am and the kind of person I am and turning into. I’m ok with that because I don’t want to be like every other blogger or author. I’m seeing the world from a different perspective than most people.

I Learned Alot

Yes, I’m a late bloomer and that’s ok because we all go through different challenges and situations. Don’t focus on the people to your left and right, only focus on your path and where you want to go. That’s why at 28 I have now realized how much I appreciated school and will always be thankful for my hard times and experiences.

Those hard times taught me the definition of work over the years. I always had to work harder than most people. I have been below average and an underdog all of my life. That’s why I’m going to be successful now. Not because I want to prove people wrong and brag and say look at me look at what I accomplished, that’s not it at all.

My Unique Way

I’m looking forward to sharing with the world that all my life I have been on the lower half of the scale. I have accepted that now and realize that’s just how it is. But what I can’t accept anymore is my attitude of just aiming for average like most of my early life.

Just because I sucked in school that doesn’t mean I can’t make a difference and help people in the world. That is the exact reason why I’m doing this now. I want to show people that it doesn’t matter what your weaknesses are. There is always another way and another approach you can take to better yourself. You just have to find a way and make it happen and go after it.