I have to ask you, how do you see the world? The question itself is easy to ask as the words roll off your tongue. But the meaning behind those six words is far greater then you can imagine.
How I see the world from 1996-2014 was sheltered and not how I see the world now. Yes, there is plenty of beauty in the world and a lot of amazing people and locations in the world. All I could see and focus on was what I was battling and having trouble with. Somedays it felt like there was a brick wall blocking me and preventing me from physically moving forward in life and preventing me from seeing the world.
Yes, there are two different ways you can see the world. Good or bad the warmth or the darkness in the world. Now there isn’t a right or wrong answer with this, all though for your sake and everyone’s sake I hope it’s the side I’m thinking of. Honestly, I can’t really blame you if it’s not the good side. Because I was on the dark side for far too many years.
I had this mindset of poor me, why did God put this on my shoulders? Why should I even follow and believe in God if he put this Learning Disability and Dyslexia on me? In the last few years, I came to recognize that in the back of my mind I blamed God for my hard life and what he put on me. I never really said it out loud or with words, but I never really had that great of a relationship with God and only put in the minimum effort with him. Then one day it hit me about a year ago. I wonder if that’s what’s holding me back? Subconsciously I was blaming God for this disability of mine, and that’s what was preventing me from wanting to get to know him better?
I have come to realize yes, I did do that and yes it was wrong for me to think that. God created me and I needed someone to blame. Why not put it on the person who created me? That seems like the easy way to do it.
Now in the last two years, my perspective has changed. I’m starting to wonder and think maybe God did this for a reason? After all, he doesn’t make mistakes maybe he wants me to do something with this disability and my story. Do I know for sure the answer and exactly what he told me, well no I don’t? But I strongly believe with my whole body and soul I’m meant to share my story and publish my book somehow and someway. I strongly believe I’m supposed to share my story with the world. How else do you think he got a kid who can’t read fast, is horrible at spelling and grammar and did horrible in school to read 45 books in almost five years and written three books in seven years?
Was that my instinct and choice to all of the sudden want to read more and write. Maybe I knew reading more would help me in life and business and help me grow more. Yes, that’s possible. But then what about the writing? If you ask me it’s a little interesting.
How I see the world is how I act in the world. With opportunity and handling whatever comes up and whatever comes my way by handling it the best way I can. I was blind to the world in front of me back in that time period I told you about earlier. Now I can see the vision I have toward the world and now what I want from it and what I want to take from the world.
Pay It Forward
It’s about time I start living better and sharing that with the world. Hence the reason why I’m writing so much now and reading so much now. I’m trying to make myself better and improve myself so I can pay it forward and give back to the world. It’s not for the fame, I don’t like being the center of attention so that’s out. It’s not about the money, I had almost $10,000 in the bank before I was 21 years old that didn’t make me happy towards the world or change my perspective of it. It just meant I had some money and still sad and upset and depressed with not knowing what or where I’m supposed to go in the world.
Now I want to focus on giving back more and becoming a better person and sharing more with the world. Now I’m grateful to be alive and I don’t want to die or harm myself anymore like I wanted to in my past. I have a beautiful wife now, and amazing friends and my crazy family around me and supporting me. Why would I want to throw that away? Now I want to share that gift with the world, and help people that were like me. Confused, depressed searching for something, anything. Something that was bigger than them or is a part of something that was bigger than them.