Champions Keep Going

Don’t Give Up

Champions keep going when they don’t have anything left in their tank

–ET

From a young age, I always thought I was meant for something special. I didn’t know what that was, or how to get to it and find it. Going with whatever was in front of me for that day. I was lost and felt like I was walking in circles with no direction and no clue what I was going to do with myself or what God had in store for me. Some days I felt like the monkey playing the symbols and not going anywhere. I can’t be a champion, what can I do?

Freaked Out

I had no idea what I was doing with myself. I kept rolling with whatever was coming my way. No matter what was going on if it was whatever sport I was in or job I was at. I would try and look at the plus side of everything, unfortunately, that’s easy said than done. After a while, I could only lie to myself so much. I started to realize how much I’m full of it. It’s one thing to lie to others and tell them how I’m feeling or if I’m faking it and putting on a mask trying to be happy. But I can’t lie to myself, I know who I really am.

Once school was over and I graduated and ready to step into the real world, all I could think was how terrified I was. With no direction and no idea what I was going to do with myself and that stupid piece of paper saying I graduated. What am I supposed to do now?

Hard Work

Yes, I graduated from school. But looking back, I had a lot of help from my parents and teachers to help push me or drag me over the finish line of graduating school. If I didn’t have their help who knows how many times I would have failed.

I have played sports all my life and have a decent collection of trophies I have gathered over the years. But what does that mean, and how does that benefit me now? Well for starters it showed me how to commit to something bigger than Peter. It showed me how to work with others to get the job done and win and collect the prize at the end of the season. Become a champion was always the goal at the end of the season.

Champions

I was a part of two championship teams in high school. I won the league in my junior year in soccer. My senior year we won the league in baseball. That was a great feeling because it was the last big thing I accomplished before graduation. Honestly, I think I was more excited about winning the league in baseball then I was for graduating.

I know my ultimate goal was to graduate from school. But the only problem with that is I didn’t know what to do with myself next in my life. My ultimate goal is finally here and I just freaked out and panicked and didn’t want to leave school. I didn’t know what I could do, and what I can go after and tackle next. I was scared and I wanted to turn around and go back to what was familiar to me. School for me was a battle every day. That battle I was facing was less scary to me than the unknown after I graduated with no direction.

Never Back Down

How can I win in life? I have lost more in life then I have won. Even though I won two league titles in my high school career. I also lost in the championship game my junior year in basketball and baseball. I failed multiple times trying to sell my books to agents to represent me. Failures and rejections definitely outweigh the wins in my life.

I’m, not a champion, how can I be a winner and a champion if I have lost more than I have won? I didn’t understand this at the time. It’s not about the medals I have earned in school being the best team that year. It was the fact that the team I was a part of didn’t give up and we didn’t back down from whoever the opponent was in front of us in the championship game.

New Approach

Even with receiving over 105 rejections about my books over the years. Yes, for a short time that did scare me and made me wonder if I can even write or if there is even room for me to enter this field. I decided to change the outcome and not give up. A new path was formed and I went in a different direction. I created PeterHarrower.com to start blogging, and I needed a place to keep writing.

A new approach to publish my books was born. I didn’t let 105 people who didn’t care for what I had created stop me. I would have taken 1,000 rejections if it meant my story or books could reach 10 times that. What matters is when I was down thinking I failed and I wouldn’t be good enough I didn’t stop.

Mindset

I might not have won yet or published any of my books yet. It doesn’t mean I’m not going to. Maybe I won’t reach thousands or millions of people in my lifetime. That’s not what this is about. It’s to show you to never quit and never settle when you feel like you can’t win. Stay away from the negative attitude.

Maybe you won’t win right now. Keep working and wait to see where you will be a year from now or five years from now. Keep working and who knows, you might be at a level that you never pictured for yourself and envisioned. That’s why it’s important to never stop and to always keep working. That’s what separates champions and losers in life.

You Are A Mist

What Is Your Life

Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

Going back to age six I always thought I was meant for something bigger and better than just me and the “normal life”. Nothing against that life that people live. I just always imagined and envisioned from an early age that life is so precious and so special, why waste it? Why do we waste it on stupid stuff?

Look At Your Situation

For me I always wanted to help people from a young age, I just didn’t know how or where to begin. Part of the reason why I wanted to help people is that I know I was broken and I needed help myself. Thinking if I help enough people that might help me. What if I do enough good deeds, will that make me feel better about myself and love myself for once? Will that bring joy to me and happiness to me? The answer is no. Yes, I will be helping people which will be awesome. What is it that will make me happy, what am I meant to do?

I don’t know what I meant to do. What if writing doesn’t work out for me? What if my books don’t get published and never turned into movies? Well, that would suck and I’ll be sad that my earthly goals didn’t pan out. Were only here on earth for a short stint. What’s the point in wasting the rest of the days I have left? Yes, I’ll be sad for a few days or weeks, whatever the time frame might be that’s not the point. The point is I tried, and it didn’t work out and it wasn’t meant to be and I move on.

Comfort Zone 

What I’m trying to share is we are only here for a short time. Stop wasting your time doing what you don’t want. If your job isn’t going anywhere then leave and take a new opportunity for less pay starting out doing what your dream job is. If you’re not happy in your relationship and it’s not going anywhere then maybe it’s time to move on?

Our life is a mist, your life will only be around for a short time. Life has been going on before you were born and it will continue once your mist disappears. Every now and then it hits me and I reminisce on what I have done. I have written three books and read 40 books and listened to 10 more audiobooks in four years.

Never Stop

Now I’m trying to turn my weaknesses and things that I hate about myself and I’m embarrassed about into a positive. Do I like opening up about my life and all of my personal stuff, no I don’t not many people would haha. But I’m doing that because not only will it help me feel better about myself. I want to turn my baggage and what I’ve learned into a positive somehow. What better way to do that than sharing what I have learned over the years.

Will people remember me for years after I’m dead, who knows, maybe maybe not? Part of me hopes that they would remember. I hope that they remember the person I am and what I tried doing and accomplishing before I die. Helping kids like me that were angry, felt alone and lost in the world. That’s my goal is to help those kids stay away from the darkness and shadows I was in for too many years. If I can help kids over the years by sharing my story, that will be a dream come true. As much as I want that dream to come true, and for the last almost eight years that was my main goal. Writing and helping kids and connecting with them.

Live It Up

Before my mist disappears at the end of my road. My priority is to make sure I can be the best son, brother, uncle, friend, and husband in 56 days and hopefully one day a father. Will I screw up, of course? Overall, I want those close to me to know that I love them and I tried my best every day for them. I didn’t always know the best way to share my love and sometimes I didn’t show it enough. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t care. I hope my actions every day explained how much I care about you.

That’s why I work as hard as I do. It’s not just for me it’s for you, it’s for my family and friends. It’s for the people that don’t know me and have no idea who Peter Harrower is. I’m sure there will be people that will never hear about the world through my dyslexic eyes. That’s just how it is, I’m just trying to make the most of the days I have right now.

Enjoy The Ride

Why keep worrying about what’s next and what’s in front of you? I’m still working on that and it’s definitely not easy. For me, sometimes I focus more on the future and miss out on the present and next thing I know it’s now the past and it’s over.

Don’t make the same mistakes that I’ve made over the years. Enjoy the ride, enjoy the scenery and slow down and take your time. Live in the moment and let whatever comes next happen and don’t focus and worry about what hasn’t happened yet. Thank God every day for waking you up and for another day. Because some people don’t have that luxury that we have to see what we want one last time. You never know when it might be your time. Live it up and make the most of your mist and what’s in front of you.

Chess Vs Checkers

The Battle

When you hear Chess vs Checkers what do you think? Well for starters one game takes a lot more skill and thinking than the other. One game all of the pieces move in different directions and all play different roles. The other game, the pieces can only move one spot at a time and that’s it. So yes, there is a big difference, and it takes I think a certain skill level to master one then it does another.

For me, I love chess and it’s a challenge and it makes you think, now I suck at it but I enjoy it. At a young age, I definitely enjoyed checkers a lot more. It was an easy game for me, as far as how you play an to follow. Now, as I got older and trying to challenge myself and change my ways and mindset toward the world and what I’m thinking chess becomes more challenging for me. I wanted more of a challenge and well chess was defiantly that challenge for me haha.

The Checkers Life

Chess and checkers, I think can be compared to people in some cases. Checkers is a very basic game when you compare both of them. All of the pieces do the same thing and your trying to take all of your opponent’s pieces. Now chess, on the other hand, is a little more involved. All of the pieces do something different. Some go straight, some go on an angle, some can only move one spot, a wide variety. The number of moves is endless and you can do so much with them. What your trying to do is outsmart your opponent and take their king in the end. You’re trying to bait them into following you this direction. Why they are following you this way, you’re leaving the other side wide open and catching off guard, checkmate.

For me, I lived 20 plus years of my life as I’m playing checkers. Again, there’s nothing wrong with checkers it’s a good game. For me, though it felt like I was missing something, I need something more I needed a new challenge. Once I committed to writing books and wanting to become an author and publish books. I had to change my ways in life. If I wanted to get better at reading and writing, well then, I have to practice. I have to challenge myself every day and keep working hard. That’s what I did, I started the transition out of checkers and into chess in life.

New Game Of Life

Chess is my game of life now. It’s on a whole other level then checkers and only select few really know how to play chess and are actually good. Again, I am not very good I need to get better in the actual game. But as far as life, well I wasn’t very good at checkers or chess haha. Now you know why I needed a change. I didn’t like where I was and where I was heading.

I’m committing to something that scares the crap out of me. I’m committing to trying to turn a weakness and something I struggle with and embarrassed about into a strength. I never in a million years ever thought I would like reading and writing. I never thought at 28 this is where I would be in my life. Honestly, I’m just happy to be alive and I didn’t follow through with some actions that I wanted to take multiple times that would have prevented me from being here at this very moment.

Give It Your All

All I’m trying to say is, it doesn’t matter how good or bad you are at these games. The point is, all you can do is try. All you can do is give it and your life the very best try that you can give. Don’t expect everything to be handed to you. Keep working and trying to improve and get better every day. That’s one of the many areas I screwed up and got lost in the shadows. I thought I was going to be able to use this disability excuse a little longer. Well until reality set in and smacked me in the face again. But it’s what I needed to wake me up.

If you are settling down with where you are in life, whether that’s in your career or in a relationship it doesn’t matter it can be anything. Well, then you’re wasting your time and a great opportunity in front of you. The opportunities are endless and there are so many opportunities in life now. You can do it. You can win in life and be successful and you deserve to win and be happy in life.

The Switch

I made the transition and the switch because I didn’t like where I was. Now you need to ask yourself where you are in your life and how you feel about your situation? If you’re ok with where you are, well then, I’m happy for you. But if you have to think about it longer then five seconds to answer if your happy or not, then most likely you’re not happy.

There is always room for improvement and there is always room to get better and for new challenges to be placed in front of you. But here’s the thing, you’re not going to grow in life and get better by waiting around for them to come to you. That’s where I screwed up I was waiting and waiting, alright God I’m ready whenever you are. Sometimes you have to make the first move in life. Maybe he wants us to try something new and figure it out ourselves first before he comes in and helps. Sometimes you have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation and go over some hurdles to get to where you want to get to in life.

A little fun fact for you, my grandfather made this board back in 1986.

We All Have A Purpose

Do You Believe

I believe we all have a purpose and we’re all meant to do something special in our life. Now some will be legendary and go on to do amazing things. Others might be a little on the smaller scale and maybe not as crazy. Now that doesn’t mean they are not important or not special. It just means they were meant for something different.

It started when I was younger and growing up. I always believed I had a purpose and was meant for something special. Now I had no idea what that was. Even in my bad years I never stopped believing it. Some days I would consider it a win if I got out of bed.

Through it all I never stopped believing, some days If we’re being honest. I had to lie to myself about my purpose and to help keep me going. Now it was kind of funny and stupid because I knew I was lying to myself. As sad as it sounds or it might be, it worked sometimes.

I Lied Constantly

If you don’t have a purpose then you don’t have a life. Somedays I would tell myself, I don’t know what my purpose is or what I meant to be doing, now what? That was a lie I or we tell ourselves sometimes. Because we all have a purpose we just don’t know what it is yet. We all have a purpose, some are bigger than others. Others will, unfortunately, be cut shorter than some.

That’s life that’s how it works sometimes, and there is only so much we can control. Now the good thing is work ethic and what we want to do today or tomorrow is up to us. Just because you don’t know your purpose or what you are meant to do, doesn’t mean you don’t have one. Who knows maybe where you are right now, or what you’re doing at this moment. Is helping build you up for what’s in front of you, and what’s going to happen in the near future.

Somedays It Sucks

For me, I believe from ages 6-25 was all building me up to what it is I’m meant to do. I’ll be honest I don’t have the best patients. I wanted to know right away, I’m sure like most people in whatever situation they are in. I thought if I find my purpose now or figure out whatever the heck I’m supposed to do. Well, then I can start on it already and start following through with my purpose in life no matter what it was. I got so focused on the end product and where I was meant to go, I got distracted by where I was in life and the journey I was currently going through.

Somedays it’s hard to enjoy the journey, and life is hard and it’s not easy. Well, I hate to break it to you, but that’s life. Not every day is going to be a breeze. Not every day is going to be horrible, well for your sake hopefully not haha.

All those years in my past, Peter was telling me I do have a purpose and I am meant for something special. God didn’t mess up on me, I was just in a bad place and Fred my alter ego was just trying to bring me down. It was easier that way, I was waving the white flag I just didn’t care anymore and gave up. I let Fred control me and take over, I know it was wrong at the time and I knew what he was doing. But I was so weak and vulnerable I didn’t care, I had no fight left in me.

No Backup Plan

Yes, it was a roller coaster of a life. I was on and had a lot of ups and downs over the years. Overall, I made it and I have never felt better and more alive. Sure, every once and awhile I have brief moments about what if it doesn’t work? What if nobody buys my book or the few views on my blog I’m getting now just stop? Well, I don’t know what to say to that, I just try to avoid those poor thoughts. Because I don’t want to think, well if it doesn’t work out then I tried or I’ll go back to my plan B. People I have no plan B, writing is my passion and I believe this is what I’m meant to do. Will it be an easy road of course not, it’s already been a long bumpy journey so far?

Writing is my purpose, I believe writing will take me to where I’m supposed to be one day. Once again, I don’t know where that is or how to get there. You just need to take it one day at a time, one step at a time.

What’s Your Purpose

It’s easy to think were the problem or if only this would have happened or I did this or that. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, everything happens for a reason good or bad. What you do with those situations is how you figure out who you are and what you’re capable of doing. Will you make the most of your situations or let whatever situations and issues come your way make you? You do have a purpose just like I do. You might not know what it is yet, but it’s ok I’m right there with you trying to figure it out.

That’s no reason to give up and throw in the towel. It might suck right now, and be very frustrating. Now is the time to keep fighting for what you want in life. What is it you want to do with your life? If you can’t answer that question, then keep living and keep learning and working. When the time is right it will come to you, and your purpose and life will all make sense one day.

Dreams Vs Fears

Dreams Or Fears

When you think of dreams what do you think of? When you think of fears what do you think of? Now, look at your life and where you are right now at the moment. What are you currently living right now, its dreams vs fears?

Most people will get defensive, it’s definitely my dreams and I’m focused. But looking at their work ethic they aren’t doing anything. They don’t have a plan they don’t put the time into their craft to try and get better. They are just talking and not following through with anything else. Just like ET says, “they don’t want it bad enough, they just kind of want it”

Make Up Your Mind

You need to make up your mind and fast. Do you want to chase this dream and accomplish this goal? Do you just what to talk about it, that would be cool if I did that one day. Now you need to decide what you want to do?

If you chase your dreams or stay content and settle because you have fears. That could potentially give you two different lives you could be living. If you chase your dreams then the opportunities are endless and who knows what else will open up. But if your hesitant and scared that you might miss out on some opportunities in life. That ship might sail by and that was your only chance you ever get in your life toward that dream of yours.

The Journey

For me, I have big goals and dreams of what I could do with my writing and what I could accomplish. But with accomplishing a lot with writing hopefully, that also means potentially I could be helping a lot of people which is what I’m hoping for. I’m, not a big name, I’m not famous and sitting on wealth and buying my way into this field like some people do by throwing money into it.

For me, it’s much bigger that’s not why I’m doing this. I’m doing this because I was scared and hated myself and had a lot of fears and doubt in my own self for most of my life. Now I’m here to prove something to the world. Not to show off and brag about what I’m hoping to accomplish and rub any of my success in your face that might come with writing down the road. For me it’s simple I’m only trying to prove two people wrong and to tell them if you put your mind to something you can be successful and accomplish anything you want in life.

The Little Things

The first person is me. I’ve been my worst critic, my worst enemy and toughest opponent every day for most of my life. All the negative talk and side effects I developed over the years has taken years and years to try and fix my bad and negative habits I developed.

Second is YOU. I clearly know what it’s like to not believe in yourself and think you’re a loser and will never accomplish anything and be successful. That was my mindset and outlook toward life for far too long.

That’s why when I become successful in writing. Now when I say become successful, you can take that any way you would like. If that’s selling millions of books, impacting people through my writing it could be anything you want. For me what I will consider a success is simple. Not only connect with kids like me and try and help them better their lives. One of the biggest success moments for me that brings a smile to my face and helps me stay focused when I don’t feel like working. Is when my first book gets published and I see what I created, and Peter A. Harrower on my OWN book.

Published Author

I can’t use my learning disability or dyslexia as an excuse anymore because that’s crap now and doesn’t work. I wrote the book, now editing the book, and ready to publish my book soon. Straight from the words of a kid who hated school, and hated reading and writing. Now I’m a published author and accomplished one of my main goals in life.

Once that happens and I become an author officially now, all I can say is watch out world. Because I turned one of my biggest weaknesses and flipped it and turned it into now one of my greatest strengths. If that doesn’t motivate you and give you hope knowing that it’s possible then I’m sorry, but you’re not ready for the next step yet in your life. You still have more personal stuff to work on.

Using Anger As Fuel

Do you want to hear some good news? You’re, not the only one that has to grow and get better. I’ll be right there with you. Every single one of us can get better and should be trying to get better every single day.

Yes, life is short and we should be enjoying it why we can because it goes quick. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try and be better than we once were? After all, we only get one life, one chance at this game of life. Let’s all start making it better and trying to chase the right goal in life.

Now go chase your dreams and kick some butt every day. Stay away from your fears and keep your distance for as long as possible. Because life will try and bring you down some days, people will try and hurt you and say you can’t accomplish your dreams. There’s only one correct response you need to give them. Smile at them and punch them in the face. Alright, I’m kidding haha, don’t do that. Smile at them and continue to work. Use that as motivation and fuel to chase your dreams and leave them and your fears behind you.

Train Your Mind

Time To Change

As I’m writing this right now and reflecting a little of where I am in this stage of my life. I’m overwhelmed with emotions and just everything all around me. On one side I’m beyond blessed, I have an amazing family. I’m getting married in 77 days. I know I’m very lucky and I’m excited about what’s next for me and for what God has planned for me. It wasn’t always that easy, I had to train my mind to think that way.

Now on the flip side. I’m also a little nervous with the field I’m trying to get in and what I’m trying to bring to life. I have this blog now that I’m sharing very personal and intimate details about me and my life. I’m a very private person, and I always kept to myself and have always been very cautious with who I talked to and who I open up with.

Real Me

I can’t keep living a double life anymore. If I’m going to be 100% real with the world and try and share what I have learned with kids and help them. Well, then I have to be honest and have to be real and tell them who I am and how Peter really operates on a regular day.

This was never my goal to be this open and vulnerable right now. This was never my intention, using my blog and part of my first book as an open journal to share with the world. But that’s the direction I started heading with it and I just rolled with it. So that’s where we are right now, I’m trying to figure this out as I’m going through life. But that’s all of us, we all have our moments and ups and downs that’s what I’m working on right now.

New Me

That’s why I’m trying to train my mind toward what it is I want to do and accomplish right now in my life. Could I write a book? Yes, I have written three. How far could I take my blog? This is my 94th post and I have had over 3,000 views so far. I hate reading. I would cry when I was younger when I had to read because I was slow and didn’t understand what I read, It’s still a struggle sometimes. In the last four years, I have read 41 books and listened to 11 audiobooks.

With my mind made up about what I didn’t want to do, look at what I just did and accomplished? I’m now heading in the direction I was trying to avoid my whole life. I’m now reading and writing books and entering a field I never thought I belonged in. Now I feel like I have every right to be in this field.

Go All In

I have been saying for a long time, if I can do it you can do it and its true. I stopped using excuses and my weaknesses and decided to flip the script and decided to not use the cards I was dealt with as an excuse anymore. I’m committed to do something that’s bigger than me and be a part of something that’s more important than just Peter. I’m just a guy that got sick and tired of the lifestyle I was living and what I was doing with myself. I knew if I wanted a change in my life, then I had to commit and do something about it.

Training my mind and changing my view towards the world and my life was the first step I had to make. Even though that was the first step to make, and there will be plenty of steps after to make. The first step is always the hardest, at least for me that is. Your scared, shaking, nervous about what you’re trying to do and what you want to do. You’re probably debating should I go; can I really make this decision?  What if it doesn’t work out or I fail? Well if it doesn’t work out and then you fail, that’s life. I have failed more than enough in my life. But that didn’t stop me. Sure, it slowed me down for a little bit being upset about whatever happened to me.

I Have A Purpose

Now with whatever happens in your life and whatever happens to you in your time why you’re on earth. You can’t use that as an excuse, and a cop out. For most of my life, I questioned and wondered why God created me and why he gave me my disability and faults? That’s probably normal to think that sometimes. But with thinking that, I easily could not have been here today. My mom had to have an emergency c section because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. My whole body was blue when I was born.

For years thinking about why God gave me these faults and my Learning Disability and almost blaming him. Another way I can look at it like my dad reminded me one day. I could have or should have died that day I was born 28 years ago? There’s another way to look at it, he wanted me to be here for a reason?

The Choice Is Yours

I never really thought about it like that before. Yes, if your wondering, parents do know what they are talking about sometimes as hard as that is to believe, haha just kidding. But he’s right, I could have easily died with lack of oxygen that day but I didn’t.

It’s a mindset and it’s not always easy but you have to train your mind sometimes. Who knows sometimes you might have to trick your mind as well if your plan is not working. Again, it’s all on how you see the world and what you want to see in YOUR world. You can train your mind to be positive or negative. You can train your mind to see the glass half full or half empty. The choice is yours and only you can decide that.

Hatting Your Job

The Stats

The other day I read In America, 70% of Americans hate their job. Hearing that stat is unbelievable to me. Of course, not every situation is the same and everyone has their own reasons. But that is scary if you ask me.

There are 52 weeks in a year and you get two weeks off for vacation a year on average. So your spending five days or sometimes more a week for 50 weeks out of the year for a paycheck?

Decisions

Now if you have a plan to only work there for a short time to save your money. If that’s the case alright that’s fair I get that and understand. Maybe you have a family and the money or benefits are amazing and you’re sacrificing for your family to take care of them. That’s respectable, I know how hard my parents worked to take care of me and my sisters.

What if your single and in your 20s and only starting out? You have been at this job for let’s say two years and it’s not going anywhere and you’re not married or tied down, what do you do? Do you just settle and keep doing it and saving money? But think if you keep saving money and staying there year after year. Don’t you think it’s going to be harder to leave once they offer you a raise or more benefits when the time comes?

Our Plan

Some of us are not sure what to do or where to go next. Instead of taking that gamble and going for our dream. Were scared and already made the world’s mind up about what we want to create and not pursue that opportunity. Life is supposed to be fun and it can be rewarding. But it can also be a gamble and risky I get that. Why not at least give it a try and see what happens?

When I get married me and the future wife already have it figured out. She’s going to continue to do her job. I’m going to continue to keep writing and continue to try and turn that dream of mine into a reality. I will be doing sales for my dad at LancasterPA.com. When we have kids I’ll watch the little ones in the morning why she works. Then when she comes home I’ll do my thing in the afternoon.

I’m Lucky

Will life be that easy of course not, things come up and things will happen? No matter what comes up at least we have a plan starting out. I have a fiancé who is very supportive of me trying to turn this writing into a reality. She know’s how serious I am about this. We both know it’s a big gamble and of course harder starting out in the beginning.

She believes in me and I, of course, believe in myself or I wouldn’t be doing everything I’m doing up to this moment. I wouldn’t have written three books and have plans for the next few books I want to write. I wouldn’t have started this blog last year if I didn’t think it could go somewhere. I’m not naive, there is a possibility that it might not work out as well as I had hoped or planned for. If that’s the case then it wasn’t meant to be and I will be crushed and disappointed of course. But I trust God with what’s next for me.

What If

Now on the flip side, what if I didn’t take that risk and dropped down to part-time a year and a half ago? What if I didn’t believe in myself and my ability and not have even bothered writing any of my books? Who knows what might have happened, because I didn’t even give it a try?

I failed in sports, losing in playoffs or championship games multiple times in my career. There have been businesses to say no about advertising with me. I have failed the military test three times to try and enlist in the military. In less then a year I received over 105 no’s from agents to represent me for my book. I’m used to failing over the years. Yes, it sucks and I hate it, I mean who would enjoy it?

When One Door Closes

With all of my failures, I never stopped moving forward. Yes, some days or months I was moving a lot slower because I was sad or depressed. Thinking when will I ever get it right and figure out what I’m meant to do. I’m 28, I’m still trying to figure out what I’m meant to do. But for the first time in my life right now. I think I have an idea of what I’m meant to do. Maybe it won’t be writing full time. But I firmly believe writing and publishing my books will open up a career for me down the road. I have believed that for going on eight years now. For years I kept saying that and yes, some days I lied about it to myself but I never stopped saying it.

With where you are in life maybe you need to reevaluate your situation and what you’re working on or towards. Life is short and yes it can be scary, but it can also be fun. Besides what good is life going to be if you just sit back and wait for the opportunities to come to you? If that’s what you’re doing then you will be waiting a long time. I would know because I was scared of my life and sat in the corner waiting. After waiting for awhile I decided it was time to fight for my life and what I wanted.

I started searching for the light at the end of my tunnel I was in, and I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s beautiful. Now is the time to work harder than ever before. Now is the time to take that opportunity life has given you and run with it.

Don’t Ever Settle

Big Mistake

Looking back I will admit I settled. Through my earlier years, I used my disability as an excuse. I was lazy and tried taking the easy approach through the years. With that poor attitude and mindset, I think that affected what I loved most at the time, sports.

There’s nothing I can do about it now, I have to move on. Some people might say they accepted what happened to them, and keep doing the same thing every day. For me, I accepted what I did wrong but it wasn’t good enough just accepting. I needed to fix what I messed up and change directions. I didn’t like the direction I was heading.

Made Me Stronger

The last few years I have definitely matured and have noticed my faults and what I did wrong all of those years ago. Does it bother me, yes I’m embarrassed about what I did or didn’t do? Do I wish I could have changed what I did or tried harder? The answer is no. If I would have tried harder or felt better about my effort I gave. Then I don’t think I would have had the hunger toward life and what I’m trying to accomplish now. Yes, through those years there were some tuff days. But with where I am right now, I can honestly sit back and smile at how I’m trying to fix my past mistakes to grow and get better now.

I didn’t go to college like everyone else. I knew there was something else in store for me. I’m not like everyone else, I think I have made that clear haha. Recognizing that I am different and unique in my own way. Realizing this hidden gift that was forming all these years that was slowly starting to come to life as I was entering my 20s.

Mind Tricks

That weakness at the time and something I was so bad at. Writing saved me and gave me a new outlook on life. Writing gave me a purpose for the first time in my life. From a young age, I always wanted to help people somehow and make a difference in some way, I just didn’t know how. When I discovered writing could be fun and not just be work, it was like my mind opened up and I was seeing the world for the first time. I was stepping into something new that I never thought I would be in.

Now at 28, about to marry the love of my life in three months. I never thought I would find a girl to want to be with me. All of the baggage I have and all of the issues and bad habits I developed all of these years. Lacking confidence in myself, hoping and praying one day I will get married. Maybe one day be able to help people somehow? I always prayed for that, but in the back of my mind, I never believed I could be happy and that would actually happen for me.

I Was Scared

Writing has given me more than I could ever give it. I still lack confidence in myself and I still have a lot to work on. But that’s life we will always have something to work on and should be working on. We should always be trying to get better in what we do and in life in general. That’s where a lot of people screw up, I included in my earlier years. I thought it would be safer if I just hide from the issues that were controlling me.

It was a long and bumpy ride. I went off course and changed directions multiple times, and spinning in circles. Now I’m trying to enter a field that I never dreamed of being in. It’s not just for my own sake trying to fix my issues, it’s also trying to help those people that I always imagined I would be helping one day. Now I can do both. I think that’s what I have been missing all of these days. In order to help myself, I need to help others in some way.

Sharing With Others

I never realized that’s what might help me to feel better and to make a difference. It’s not about me and being selfish and focusing on me anymore. With helping kids like me not make the same mistakes as I did. Giving back and sharing my story, from a regular guy like them that didn’t like who he was and knew he had to change something if he wanted to win in life. I believed all of that I just didn’t know how to do it.

Now I want to share that with the world. Life is too short, and life is too precious. Time goes by way too quick for us to just stay content and take the safe approach toward life. If you’re passionate about something then go for it.

Life Should Be Fun

Yes, it might be stressful some days, especially right now for me. I’m trying to finish my books, I’m getting married in a few months. But that’s life I’m not going to complain about it. I’m beyond blessed right now. I’m writing and trying to turn what I believe I was called to do and turn that into a career.

Of course, it’s always harder starting out and starting from the begging. But I know I’m spoiled I have an amazing family and fiancé supporting me. I have a great group of friends and people I’m close with excited to read my book and see what I do next. If that doesn’t motivate me to keep going and keep working hard then I don’t know what will. Now I know I can’t stop, I have set these big dreams and goals of helping people and making a difference in the world why I can. That’s why now is the time, now is your time to keep moving forward, and go all in.

Elephant Vs A Rope

The Story

When an elephant is first born to help train the elephant not to run away. They tie a rope around one of their legs. The rope is strong enough where the baby elephant can’t break the rope. As the years go on and the elephant grows and gets bigger and bigger. The rope is the same, it never changes only the elephant gets bigger.

Wait, you’re telling me a full-size elephant is being tied down by this little rope? Do you know why? It’s because it was trained from a young age to believe they couldn’t break the rope. Even when they became a full-size elephant with thousands of pounds of strength and power inside of them. They still would always think back to those earlier years of being tied down from a young age.

Mindset

It’s amazing how the mind works and how once we get something in our head, positive or negative it doesn’t matter. Once that thought get’s in our head then we continue to feed off it and after a while, it can start to control us.

When I was six and diagnosed with my disability. I never thought I would see the day that I graduate school and receive that piece of paper I have been dreaming about. Praying and focused so much on graduating, that was always at the end of my tunnel waiting for me. I realized I’m not going to be able to graduate school. I’m not smart, I can’t read, write, well everything else that has to do with school. I’ll never be able to read fast I hate reading, I hate writing.

People Can Change

In the last four years I have almost read 50 books now, can you believe that? At 28 I have written three books all over 70,000 words in them. I have a blog and I have published 90 posts so far. I have a learning disability and can’t spell and suck with grammar and punctuation. How can a dyslexic kid who can’t read and write do that? What does that mean?

I’ll tell you what it means, it means that I stopped listening to my old self and changed. That rope was wrapped around my leg at six years old, and at 25 I ripped that post right out of the ground. I had enough, it was time for a change. That rope controlled me for 19 years. If I want to make something of myself then I have to do something about it.

Listen To Yourself

The rope is gone and I’m free, now what? I have no idea but I’m free, life is easier now right it’s all smooth sailing from here? Wrong, reality kicked in. I’m sick and tired of people complaining and giving up and not trying there hardest to go after something they want in life. I would know because that used to be me, I was lazy through my whole school career. I used my disability as a cop out and was expecting everything to be easy. News flash it wasn’t, the real world came and smacked me in my face.

I didn’t like where I was going in life and I didn’t like being held down anymore. At 25, I decided to fight for my life. Time after time pulling and pulling and I finally got out, I’m free now. I did it, now it’s time to work and now it’s time to start living for once in my life. I have these goals and I can’t accomplish them by being tied down. It’s time to see what’s calling my name.

Do you want to know what I kept hearing once I snapped that rope in half and became free? What I heard calling me was anything I want. I was free to do whatever and go where ever. It is 2018 and there are more than enough opportunities now to chase that dream of yours.

My Battle

Now that I have grown up, well when it comes to my nephews and nieces I still have to be the fun uncle. I recognized where I was and what I was doing and I didn’t like it. Life is short and life is so precious and we take it for granted far too often. I never used to like what I saw when I was looking in the mirror at myself. The hatred I had for myself and who I was, I wanted to be anyone else but me when I was a kid. It doesn’t work that way, this is the life I was given and these were the cards I was dealt.

What I can do and what you can do, is work with what you got. I decided to work with what I got and change my ways. Now here we are I’m 28 and hopefully going to publish my first book this year. I’m engaged and getting married in a few months. I have three amazing sisters, two parents. I don’t even know how many nephews and nieces I have now, 11 I think haha?

Reality Check

I shouldn’t be upset anymore about the issues and faults I have. I should be embracing what I’m good at now, not focusing on the bad. Well, that’s what I’m doing now, that’s why I’m writing this book. I’m sharing my faults and issues and lessons I have learned over the years so kids and young adults don’t have to go through what I went through. I don’t want them to get tied down and have that rope tied around their leg longer then it has to.

It sucks and it’s hard, but it doesn’t have to be like that all of the time. It’s about time we all start sharing more and opening up more. You never know who you might connect with and who you might impact when you open up. The lessons we learn and the life we see over the years is meant to be shared and passed on to others. It’s about time we all start sharing.

Dear Writing

The Struggle 

In my earlier years, I hated you. When I was forced to write it became work, and being in school was already hard enough for me. Writing became a chore for me. How is writing suppose to help me in life anyway? 

In my earlier years, I had blinders on. I only would write because I was told to. Now that I’m older and once I started journaling almost eight years ago, those blinders came off and what I saw next was beautiful. What I saw was nothing, it was a blank canvas in front of me. It was me and my canvas and that’s all. I was given the ultimate gift in life, and God has given me a blank canvas to create whatever I wanted.

I Can’t Write

At the time I was overwhelmed and embarrassed about my lack of skill in the writing department. I never thought I could be good enough. I never thought I belonged in this field or would ever be good enough to become an author and publish books. Who am I? Who would want to read a book from a dyslexic kid with a pretty serious learning disability? I hated reading with a passion and still struggle with it to this day. Everything that has to do with that department, I was bad at it.

Everything you just read is why I thought I could never be a good writer. But everything you just read is the reason why I think I’m going to be a good writer. Who knows maybe I’ll go on to sell millions of copies or even make the bestsellers list. Honestly, I don’t care, my writing is just going to be a small part of what I want to do.

Thank You

Yes, I love writing and I owe everything to writing. As funny as this sounds if writing was a person I would shake his or her hand and thank them for what they did for me. Writing literally saved my life, and not being dramatic or funny saying that. I was in a bad place for a number of years. Writing helped me to keep going in life. Writing helped me to express myself and gave me a chance to create something unique and different like me.

I could be anything I wanted, I could write anything I wanted and writing helped me do that. From a young age, I had this handicap and extra weight on my shoulders. I just didn’t know how to deal with my issues on a daily basis. 

Blessing In Disguise

After reading a book about Tupac, he was the final piece I needed to start this new hobby of mine. That hobby quickly became an obsession, and from there it took off. Writing gave me hope in life and made me feel something for the first time in a long time. I quickly realized, that this disability that God put on me from a young age. All though it caused a lot of stress over the years and a lot of tuff days. I quickly realized that when God made me dyslexic, was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me think outside of the box and helped me to create the books that I have written and to start my blog that I have now. 

In high school, if you would have told me where I would be in 10 years I would have laughed in your face. At 28 I have three books ready to be edited and published. I have four books in my head that I know I will write in the near future. Writing helped me to see the world differently and quickly helped me realize why I was put here on earth. I now want to share what I have learned with kids and young adults like me.

New Mission

Nobody should feel useless or discouraged or even embarrassed all the time. Nobody should be ashamed of who they are and what they are going through and dealing with. Life is a battle and it’s not easy. I’m not perfect I only started to change my ways a few years ago. I was a late bloomer in the world, and it took me a long time to see that.

Now I want to help kids like me. I don’t want them to miss the opportunities that I missed. I don’t want kids to be pissed off toward the world and blaming people or whatever comes there way. I’m trying to help them find meaning and find purpose in life. That’s why I’m doing this now. I know what the struggle is like, I know how hard it is to carry that extra weight on your shoulders every day. I feel like it’s my job to help you take that weight off and start making the most of the life you have now.

My Obsession

Writing helped me to realize what I was doing wrong all these years. That’s why I salute you writing and thank you for everything you have done for me. Now that I’m not being forced to write, it’s now fun and something I’m trying to turn into a career. Who would have had thought, I would be trying to turn one of my worst weaknesses and something I struggled with the most in my life into a career now?

When I write now, It’s not with my fingers on a computer or a pencil in a book. I’m writing with my heart. I’m giving you and writing everything I have. Because I have wasted far too much time not giving life everything I have. Who knows if my writing will even help people, maybe it won’t but at least I can say I tried. But there’s also that possibility I could help one kid, or who knows maybe even hundreds or thousands of kids. Stay tuned, I’m only getting started.