Month: March 2018

Free The Beast Within You

What Are You

When you think of, free the beast within, what do you think of? Something big and scary inside of you? Maybe, you’re quiet and shy on the outside, but on the inside, the fire and the passion you have towards life is just waiting to be let free? It’s different for all of us, there’s no right or wrong answer. I’m going through my own battles every day. That’s what makes everyone so fascinating and so different.

As far as which beast I am, well I don’t think I’m scary, at least I hope not haha. But I think I’m the last example I used. Yes, I’m sarcastic on the outside and sometimes I might take it too far trying to be the funny guy and make people laugh. The reason why is I know what it’s like to be upset, sad and feel alone or a loser. I felt that way for far too long, that’s why I try and be happy with others to help bring them up. On the inside, I’m a caged lion ready to be free. Writing has been the main source to help me release this tension that’s been building up for years. It’s been unhealthy and caused a lot of stress and damage with my mind playing tricks on me.

This Is Who I Am

That’s why I’m so passionate now about writing and my blog, with trying to express myself and who I am on my posts. It’s not about the views and readers I might have every day, or how much money I could potentially make from this. I haven’t made any money from this, I’m still only begging. Yes, I have made it clear I want to pursue writing as a career somehow, but It’s not for the money it’s far greater than that. Money comes and go, yes, you can do great things with money and I still believe I will do great things with the money I make one day.

Unleashing this beast within me and letting kids just like me, people just like me that feel different or alone. Were all different and unique in our own way. We all express our ways differently and find different ways to do that, through passions and hobbies we find along our journey every day.

Time For A Change

The beast inside of me that I’m trying to release and let free, it’s not healthy and it’s weighed me down more than I would care to admit. It’s been a heavy anchor holding me down for years and years. It’s time I cut my ties with it, and free myself from that weight I have been holding on my shoulders for far too long. It’s time you and I stop lying to ourselves and telling us that it isn’t so bad, it’s not that big of a deal. That’s a lie, IT IS A BIG DEAL. It’s easy to come up with excuses along the way because it’s safer doing that.

Just because it’s safer doesn’t make it the right decision. By always making the “safe move” every day in our life, what do we learn from that and how do we really grow from making those moves? The answer is we don’t grow and learn from those moves, honestly, it comes back to screw you even more down the road. As much as it might hurt, you’re better off just ripping the Band-Aid off now and except that pain now. Because that pain is only going to make your decisions and choices easier down the road.

Now Is The Time

This is for all ages, adults, and kids. This is coming straight from the mouth of a man trying to play his part and make a difference in this world. Do I do it every day to the best of my ability, no I don’t? Is there more I have to learn and grow in, well of course I do. I only started living three years ago, the first 25 years I was a zombie just trying to get through another day.

Maybe you don’t want to do your homework, maybe you don’t want to go to that meeting or workout today. HONESTLY, who cares what your excuses are, JUST DO IT. Look I get it, if it’s serious well then, you can’t do it. But people complain so much today, and I think most of the time they are doing it for the attention. Yes, WORK sucks sometimes and it’s uncomfortable and it’s not fun. Newsflash people, that’s why they call it WORK. Somedays it’s hard, and it takes you out of your comfort zone and pushes you to your limits. You have to recognize the difference from I physically can’t do that, or I just don’t want to do that.

One Day It Will All Make Sense

Here’s the plus, when it pushes you to the limits. It’s going to help turn and build you into the person your meant to become. Maybe not this week, maybe not even this year. But someday down the road, it will all click, you just have to keep working. You can’t let that beast inside of you control you every day. No good can come from that. Yes, you can use that as motivation and hunger to keep going and keep working hard every day. By being in that uncomfortable stage and being out of your comfort zone, is when you start living. Sometimes as funny as it sounds, you just need to embrace the suck and keep doing the best you can every day.

That’s when you will start to control your life and start enjoying who you are. Now is the time to take over that beast and fight back and control what’s been controlling you for years. You’re in charge, you run the show of what you want to do. It’s time to make something of yourself and start becoming the person you were meant to become.

TOEDWY

The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday

TOEDWY was brought to life by the craziest people in the world, the United States Navy Seals. It might just look like six simple words, but together the meaning is powerful. Those six words let you know and remind you that life is hard, and it’s not always easy. It can be challenging and you could be getting your butt kicked or you’re in a slump somedays.

It doesn’t matter where you are in life, we are all on different paths and different journeys in our life. That’s what makes it so special and so unique for all of us every day. From another person’s perspective and looking at you every day. Seeing the way, you’re going about your life and schedule, it might not look so bad. But on the inside your freaking out, and your reaching your boiling point. Any moment you’re going to explode and just snap.

How Will You React

The day is over and here’s where we screw up sometimes. We let whatever happens the day before, or a few days earlier transition over to the next day. Now I get it, depending on what happens it might take longer to get over or recover from. I’m not heartless, I truly understand haha. I’m just saying depending on what the situation is and what happens to us. Just remember that was yesterday, and today is a new day. There will be new adventures waiting in front of us, on our path that we are walking on every day.

What if something knocks you down and it’s a heavy punch to the gut, what do you do? Do you fall to your knees crying and begging for help? Think about your situation and what maybe happened to you recently? For me, going back to my earlier years. I would have kept it to myself and not told many people. It’s easy to keep everything bottled up because of my past. I became such a private person over the years because of the issues I was battling every day.

Poor Attitude

Honestly, it was a no-brainer for me to keep everything bottled up inside of me. I didn’t like the situation God put me in. I didn’t like who he created and the issues he placed on my shoulders from an early age. At a young age, I thought I was being punished and I screwed up. The hatred toward myself was worse than you can ever imagine, I truly HATED myself for a long time and for many years. That’s when I became such a tuff critic toward myself. It all started at an early age, which isn’t good.

My poor attitude and my lack of maturity I had, tied in with the hatred that Peter had for Peter. Well, it was a ruthless combination. Within the last few years, as sad as it sounds. I only started to love Peter and who I was starting to become. I do know the last few years it changed, I can count them on one hand. In case you didn’t know, I’ll be 28 in two days. So roughly 24 years I didn’t like Peter, I couldn’t stand being in the same room with Peter. Now how do you think that made me feel? If I didn’t like being with myself, imagine what I was picturing about what others might think of me?

I Was Wrong

Now there were good days and plenty of them, don’t get me wrong. Through those tuff years and growing up and living under this dark cloud for most of my life. I know those hard years were turning me into the person I was meant to become. God has blessed me more then I deserve, I truly believe that and I know I’m very lucky. It was just my mindset and attitude that got the best of me most of the time. It was the voices inside my own head is what controlled me and kept kicking my butt every day.

To be honest I have been obsessed with Navy Seals since the day I started reading Lone Survivor. I was maybe 19 when I finished that book, and the first book I think I ever read cover to cover in my life. Plus, I actually enjoyed reading it, it was freaking me out. Did Peter enjoy reading? No, that can’t be right, those words can’t be in the same sentence, that has to be a mistake?

Embrace The Suck 

It’s true, I hate reading I still hate it to this day I won’t lie about that. But Peter, you want to be an author and write books, how can that be? Well, it’s true I want to do that for a living. With my disability it made me think outside of the box. It helped build my creative side and looking at The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes with a different perspective. It’s also true in the last three years I have read almost 40 books. What does that tell you? I’m determined to become a better reader, and I want to learn from successful people and better myself.

I’ll never enjoy reading, I get too distracted, I can’t sit in one place for a long period of time and I’m a slow reader. But I do it because I know it’s good for me and I’m learning something new. That’s why I have to be disciplined to do it. It’s not always going to be easy, and neither will your life and the path your on every day. That’s what makes it so fun, that’s why you can’t stop no matter what happened the day before. Whatever comes your way might be hard for you, and yesterday turned out to be easier than today. Becuase yesterday is making you stronger and helping prepare you for what’s next and what’s being placed on your shoulders with the days to come. Learn from those hard days and never forget, The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday.

 

Everyday Is A Roller Coaster

My Roller Coaster

Life is like a roller coaster; some days were on cloud nine and happy. Other days something might hit us and we fall into a low and feel horrible. Other days we might be going straight and just coasting in life. We’re just going with the flow of life and every day, not really giving it our all. Every once and a while there will be days you get to taste a little of everything.

Well, I don’t like heights, to begin with, so it takes a lot to get me to do something with heights. I have no problem at almost 28 years old admitting that heights bother me. It freaks me out, and well I’m ok with that. Yes, I’m trying to get better with it, skydiving is still on my bucket list to do one day. Going skydiving seems very extreme and well the smart or dumb thing to help with it haha.

Just Getting Started

In the morning you wake up and start your day, in a roller coaster usually your start a little slower and work your way to the first big drop or climb. Sometimes depending on life and what’s coming our way or what was going through, there’s nothing we can do. You just need to hold onto something and get the strength and go through that drop or whatever is waiting for you on the other side.

Here’s another example for you. I dropped down to part-time a little over a year ago to try and pursue writing more and roll the dice. Well, I’m here a year later, and I’m still rolling the dice you could say. That’s life sometimes things take longer or lining up all of the pieces to what you’re working on. Now I believe I still made the right move, it’s just taking a little longer then I would have liked. In that time, I started this blog, and it has been a lot of fun. Yes, it has been a lot of work, but what do you expect? I’m building something from scratch, I’m building my website up to try and reach people. Nobody knows Peter Harrower YET, is the keyword.

The Bar Is Set High

I have big goals to accomplish and I know I can accomplish them and I know I’m capable of doing that. I just need to keep working and doing the best I can every day when I’m on my roller coaster and going through life and this journey we are on every day.

In that time, my book did not get published so that’s frustrating. I’m still waiting for the editor to finish, and it’s taking longer then I would have liked. That’s life, things come up, things change and you have to be prepared to roll with whatever comes your way. Now a plus about that is, I’m almost done with the first book in my three-book series. Hopefully, by the summer, I’ll have enough money on the side to send that to an editor. I quickly learned to start from scratch is very expensive. Also starting from scratch and not making much money before I started doing this, is also very tricky.

Our Unique Roller Coaster

That’s why life is so special and were all on different paths. Were all on different roller coasters every day. Some are going up, some are going down, some might be taking crazy turns trying to figure out what’s next. What’s important is no matter where you are, you don’t stop and you keep going. That’s the first rule you want to remember. Don’t stop keep moving and keep going.

Yes, I know it’s easier said than done. That’s why you need to find what it is your fighting for, why are you chasing this dream of yours? You have to look deep down within yourself, and figure out where this hunger and motivation to do what it is you want to do came from? Is it for the money, for the fame, do you want people to know who you are, maybe you just want to help people. We all have different reasons as to why we’re chasing this dream and sacrificing what we’re sacrificing to get there and accomplish that goal we’re working on.

Embrace What Comes Your Way

Somedays you won’t want to get up, or you feel like crap and your tired and you don’t feel like working. Well, this might surprise you, but everyone goes through that. I struggle with that constantly, all I want to do is keep writing books and my next blog posts for the days to come. I love it, and it makes me feel happy and free. With my message, I’m trying to share I need to keep giving more to the people that need to hear my story. Unfortunately, the real world is knocking and well I’m not making any money from my blog or books yet, so I don’t have that luxury YET. Again, notice the keyword yet. That is the goal and that’s my mission that I’m working towards, helping others just like me.

Once it’s the end of the night, don’t always focus or get distracted by what you didn’t do or what little you accomplished. Try flipping that mindset to a positive, and say wow look at what I accomplished today? Sure, it might not be as much as yesterday or the day before, life happens and things come up.

You only have so much time every day to work with. Time is a gift, life is a gift, let’s start treating it like a gift. Remember, we don’t own time we don’t even own our life. Were just renters and renting time until our journey comes to an end whenever that might be. It can be taken away from us at any moment. That’s why you need to start enjoying the ups and learning and growing from the downs. That’s how you grow and that’s how you become a better version of yourself.

This Is Who I Am

The Real Peter

This is who I am, and being as serious as possible You can either expect who I am and the hiccups and Issues I have, or you move on it’s that simple. Before you jump to conclusions after you read this post, and start to understand who I really am. Maybe you should look in the mirror and figure out who you are? Do you like who you are, and the person you are becoming? The question itself is an easy one to ask, but the hard part is being honest. That will be the ultimate test for yourself. It’s one thing to be one person or act a certain way in front of other people, it’s another to act a certain way in front of yourself.

Keep Growing Every Day

I’m not perfect, I have my faults, my lows, and highs and things I wish I could get better in and change. This might be a surprise but I’m sure you do as well. Overall, I think I’m a good person and have a good heart and willing to help those in need. Now could I do better in some of those fields, well, of course, I can, we all can do better? That just gives us something to keep working on and trying to get better in. That’s life, we should be trying to get better and keep growing every day.

I’m very competitive, I hate losing. I use my sense of humor and sarcasm as a shield sometimes, trying to protect others from my real self. Having lots of ups and downs in my life over the years, I developed a lot of anger and hatred toward myself. Thinking I will never be good enough or be the person that people really think I am. I’m very protective of my family and especially to my sisters and nieces. I have been around women my whole life. Now I still don’t understand them, but I grew up having four mothers and still learning haha.

Learn From Your Mistakes

With all of that said, I have my pros and definitely my cons. Overall though, it’s hard for me to see it sometimes because I’m such a hard critic to myself and others sometimes. Part of the reason with that I think is because I know what my past was like and how I used my disability as an excuse over the years. I don’t want my nephews or nieces to give half the effort I did or have the poor attitude I had over the years growing up. I know where that negative mindset will take you and how much damage it can cause you down the road.

Once I finished writing The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes, I knew there was more I needed to do. I needed to find another platform to share who I am. So here we are, seven months later and I’m still blogging.

I Judged Myself

I’m just a kid that developed a lot of bad habits and side effects over the years from a young age. I blamed God for what he placed on me, I hated the world for far too long. I cursed myself for years and years, thinking I’m stupid I can’t accomplish anything in life with my Learning Disability. What good can this Dyslexic kid even do in the world?

How I respond to my questions or negative mindset I had for far too long is like this. Will my book impact people and play a difference in their lives? I have no idea, I hope it does somehow, but that’s for you to decide. All I can do is be honest and do the best I can and keep sharing my story. If people are looking and searching for answers to issues they or their kids are going through. Deep down, I think my life, books or even blog will help them in some way. All I can do is keep sharing my story and trying to help people along this ride were on.

Keep Searching

It has been a long and very bumpy journey so far over the years. Some people might have it worse than me or some might have it easier than me, that’s life our paths are all different. For me, I wouldn’t change a thing, after 27 years. I’m finally at a place I’m starting to like who I’m becoming. In the last three years, I finally accepted who I am and what issues I’m going to have the rest of my life.

I can’t read fast, I’m horrible at spelling. I just squeaked by in school with almost a 2.0 GPA. I developed a lot of personal side effects over the years with my disability. I have anger issues with myself to this day. I battled depression for years and contemplated suicide for a number of years a long time ago. Even with those clouds hanging over me, there’s always light and good on the other side. You just need to keep searching for the light and not give up.

Finally I Get It

I’ll be 28 in 12 days, and you can ask anyone in my family. I think right now I feel more like a kid and having more fun now than I ever did in my past. Just look at this picture, that’s me trying to be a bull and chase one of my nephews. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through in life, don’t give up and don’t be afraid to embrace who you really are.

I’m a big kid at heart, I want to help kids just like me. I know what its like to feel alone and have these side effects as a kid growing up and weighing me down. I truly think I can be that help for kids with my story. I just need a chance, I’m still trying to figure out how I can do that. That’s part of the journey of life every day, you get out of it what you put in.

Are You A Lion Or A Sheep

What Are You

If you had to choose one right now at this very moment with the way you are living you’re life, what would you pick? Are you a sheep or a lion? For me, the answer is easy. From ages 6-25 I was a sheep there’s no question about it. I was hesitant, scared of life, scared of the journey and my path ahead of me. I thought the best option would be is to do nothing. Just roll with whatever comes my way and just accept it and that was it, deal with whatever cards I was dealt with. I’m sure you can guess, but that’s a horrible attitude and way to live.

We shouldn’t be waiting for life to happen and the journey to come to us. That’s where I think a lot of us screw up, I included in that. Life is what we make it, the journey is what we do every day and in our life. We need to go out and make the most of it and live it up every day, and every second we have. Life is short, it’s time we start treating it like a vacation and enjoy it when we can of course. But it’s also about time we start working and get off our butts and start doing something for ourselves.

Get Back Up

If you’re in a slump and you’re not sure what to do next or what your purpose is. It sucks and you might feel like crap and drained from that. I have been there for longer than I would have liked. Some days I didn’t want to get out of bed, I just wanted to play video games or watch movies. Just to putt off reality and hide from the journey and my life ahead waiting for me. That’s where I screwed up, I know that now. At the time I thought it was where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing.

With that attitude and mindset, I couldn’t have been more wrong about that haha. That’s life sometimes we need to run into a brick wall and fall and get knocked down. What’s important is that you get back up and keep going. Even if it takes you longer then you would have liked, keep fighting and don’t stop fighting. If you fall again, well then you get back up no matter how many times you fall over.

Enjoy The Ride

I’ll be 28 in a few weeks, and I have never felt more like a Lion in my life. Sure, there’s stuff I’m still working on and trying to get better in. But that’s life, some things will be a lifelong process and battle every day.

I finally woke up one day and it hit me. My life is, of course, is in God’s hands and I know he has everything planned out and figured out already. But a lot of it also falls back on me and what I decide to do with the obstacles and blessings he puts in front of me. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter, what matters is what you make of those obstacles.

Keep Going

I finally feel alive and I’m on the right track for once in my life. I feel like my writing is getting better, well that’s my opinion of course hopefully I’m not wrong haha. I’m starting to get a clear picture of what my future could be and what I want it to look like. The only thing is I have to keep putting in the work, I can’t slow down now. I need to keep working on my craft and keep doing the best I can every day. No matter what comes up in front of me or tries to slow me down.

With all of that said, now start to look at your life and situation you’re in. Are you happy with your choices and the way you’re living your life, or do you want to change a few things? If you want to change some stuff, then change it already. Quit putting it off and say oh I’ll do this or that tomorrow or start Monday. That’s CRAP and a copout answer. That’s why you’re not happy with where you are in your life right now. It all starts with your mindset and what you’re thinking.

Put In The Work

If your goal is to become a Lion, fearless, strong and powerful. Then decide to become a Lion, it shouldn’t be that hard. Now the process and journey to becoming a lion will be hard. But what do you expect, of course, it will? You don’t just wake up the next day, with your dream body or dream job. The only way that happens is if your dreaming, or it’s in a movie or book. You’re going to have to put in work and hours and hours into trying to better yourself and change your old ways.

Deciding that you cant live like a sheep anymore, scared and just following the crowd and content with where you are in life. I personally think you should want more than just being content and ok with your average life. Life should be so much more than that, you should be exploring and putting yourself in danger by taking risks on new opportunities in life and start living.

It’s Time To Start Living

To me, that’s the kind of life I want to live. That’s why I’m a Lion and why I had to change. It all starts with you on the inside first. I understand staying where you are might be safe and comfortable, but that’s boring and gets old quick. There is so much life out there for us to explore and roam just like the King. It’s time we all start exploring together and enjoying the world and jungle that is laid out in front of us every day.

What Will Your Life Look Like

Your Life

Some people die at 76 and never lived, some die at 50 and lived a rewarding life. What will your life look like when it’s all said and done? Will it be ok, or will it be rewarding and something you will be proud of?

The average lifespan for men as of 2017 is 76 years old. That doesn’t seem that old if you think about it. If that’s the case this March I will have 48 years left to live. Now, of course, that’s the average. Now is the time to live and start doing something with yourself. Just because I’m healthy, that doesn’t guarantee my life every day, things happen, life happens. That’s why we need to all start living every day like our life depends on it.

Happiness In Life Over Years Of Life

Because it’s true we don’t know when our time will come or how much longer we have. For some people the time they finally hit there last day and it’s their time. They were already dead for years, well on the inside. Some people were zombies all of their life, and dead on the inside. They just gave up and were scared of life and scared to live.

For me, I would rather live 20 years less or whatever the time frame might be then that zombie. I would rather kill it every day, bust my butt from this day going forward until the day I die at 76 years old. Knowing I gave it my all and tried my best and did the best I could with the time and resources I had at hand.

Take A Second

How you go about your everyday life, is how people look at you every day. It could be as simple as opening a door for someone. Or maybe picking up that piece of trash on the ground at the gym and not stepping over it. YES, I’m talking to the two guys from the gym that steeped over it in the locker room yesterday. Now I know those two examples are stupid and seem so small and simple I get that. Think about it, if it’s that simple and you’re ignoring them, then what else aren’t you doing or ignoring in your life?

From ages 6-25 I felt dead and like a zombie on the inside. I was a flat line for years and years. Trying to figure out who Peter was and what was next for me and what my purpose was in life. Which there’s nothing wrong with that, and I think a lot of us should be focusing on that a lot more. For me, I think I was too distracted, and my vision and bars were set too high some days. It took me away from living most days and distracted me from the real world. Not just the world in my head, but also through my eyes every day.

I Finally Woke Up

Now it took me a few years to finally realize that and recognize that, but that’s life sometimes. You live and you learn every day, we should be learning something new and trying to grow. That’s why at 25 I finally recognized where I was going and the path I was on. The path I was going on, was going to take me nowhere. The path I was on was leading me to a roundabout, I kept going in circles and circles every day. Doing the same thing every day, it was time for a change and I needed something new.

Looking at my past, and my goals I came up with I needed to upgrade myself and change who Peter was. With the goals I had for down the road, and the kind of impact I want to have on people and kids. In order to accomplish those goals, I had to change a lot in order to follow through with my goals and in my life. So, I did, I changed my ways and adapted. I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going next and so on and so on. But here’s where I became different and when I started living for the first time in my 27 years.

One Day At A Time

With no direction and no plan, I didn’t know what to do. What I did though was something. I took it one day at a time and one step at a time. As cliché as that sounds and trust me I know. That’s what you have to do, take it one day at a time in life. Don’t just wish for the end result and try and jump to the end goal that you’re working on. Honestly, that’s stupid and where’s the fun in that? Sure, I get it you want to see that goal or whatever you’re working on becoming a reality. Trust me I understand; my one book has been a three-year process. Then my series I’m working on has been a seven-year process. So, trust me I completely get it, and I understand.

With that, you need to start enjoying the journey and enjoying the ride. You never know when you might learn something new and grow as a person. Who knows if you just skip to the end, you will miss out on the journey and going through the ups and the downs. That’s why it’s so important to embrace the suck sometimes. That suck at that moment and what you’re going through is helping pave the way and turn you into the best version you will become. Now is the time to start living and living in the moment. Not when you’re too old and regretting your decisions. Start working now so you can make the most of it, and not have any regrets when it’s your time.