June 2018 – The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes

Elephant Vs A Rope

The Story

When an elephant is first born to help train the elephant not to run away. They tie a rope around one of their legs. The rope is strong enough where the baby elephant can’t break the rope. As the years go on and the elephant grows and gets bigger and bigger. The rope is the same, it never changes only the elephant gets bigger.

Wait, you’re telling me a full-size elephant is being tied down by this little rope? Do you know why? It’s because it was trained from a young age to believe they couldn’t break the rope. Even when they became a full-size elephant with thousands of pounds of strength and power inside of them. They still would always think back to those earlier years of being tied down from a young age.

Mindset

It’s amazing how the mind works and how once we get something in our head, positive or negative it doesn’t matter. Once that thought get’s in our head then we continue to feed off it and after a while, it can start to control us.

When I was six and diagnosed with my disability. I never thought I would see the day that I graduate school and receive that piece of paper I have been dreaming about. Praying and focused so much on graduating, that was always at the end of my tunnel waiting for me. I realized I’m not going to be able to graduate school. I’m not smart, I can’t read, write, well everything else that has to do with school. I’ll never be able to read fast I hate reading, I hate writing.

People Can Change

In the last four years I have almost read 50 books now, can you believe that? At 28 I have written three books all over 70,000 words in them. I have a blog and I have published 90 posts so far. I have a learning disability and can’t spell and suck with grammar and punctuation. How can a dyslexic kid who can’t read and write do that? What does that mean?

I’ll tell you what it means, it means that I stopped listening to my old self and changed. That rope was wrapped around my leg at six years old, and at 25 I ripped that post right out of the ground. I had enough, it was time for a change. That rope controlled me for 19 years. If I want to make something of myself then I have to do something about it.

Listen To Yourself

The rope is gone and I’m free, now what? I have no idea but I’m free, life is easier now right it’s all smooth sailing from here? Wrong, reality kicked in. I’m sick and tired of people complaining and giving up and not trying there hardest to go after something they want in life. I would know because that used to be me, I was lazy through my whole school career. I used my disability as a cop out and was expecting everything to be easy. News flash it wasn’t, the real world came and smacked me in my face.

I didn’t like where I was going in life and I didn’t like being held down anymore. At 25, I decided to fight for my life. Time after time pulling and pulling and I finally got out, I’m free now. I did it, now it’s time to work and now it’s time to start living for once in my life. I have these goals and I can’t accomplish them by being tied down. It’s time to see what’s calling my name.

Do you want to know what I kept hearing once I snapped that rope in half and became free? What I heard calling me was anything I want. I was free to do whatever and go where ever. It is 2018 and there are more than enough opportunities now to chase that dream of yours.

My Battle

Now that I have grown up, well when it comes to my nephews and nieces I still have to be the fun uncle. I recognized where I was and what I was doing and I didn’t like it. Life is short and life is so precious and we take it for granted far too often. I never used to like what I saw when I was looking in the mirror at myself. The hatred I had for myself and who I was, I wanted to be anyone else but me when I was a kid. It doesn’t work that way, this is the life I was given and these were the cards I was dealt.

What I can do and what you can do, is work with what you got. I decided to work with what I got and change my ways. Now here we are I’m 28 and hopefully going to publish my first book this year. I’m engaged and getting married in a few months. I have three amazing sisters, two parents. I don’t even know how many nephews and nieces I have now, 11 I think haha?

Reality Check

I shouldn’t be upset anymore about the issues and faults I have. I should be embracing what I’m good at now, not focusing on the bad. Well, that’s what I’m doing now, that’s why I’m writing this book. I’m sharing my faults and issues and lessons I have learned over the years so kids and young adults don’t have to go through what I went through. I don’t want them to get tied down and have that rope tied around their leg longer then it has to.

It sucks and it’s hard, but it doesn’t have to be like that all of the time. It’s about time we all start sharing more and opening up more. You never know who you might connect with and who you might impact when you open up. The lessons we learn and the life we see over the years is meant to be shared and passed on to others. It’s about time we all start sharing.

Dear Writing

The Struggle

In my earlier years, I hated you. When I was forced to write it became work, and being in school was already hard enough for me. Writing became a chore for me. How is writing suppose to help me in life anyway?

In my earlier years, I had blinders on. I only would write because I was told to. Now that I’m older and once I started journaling almost eight years ago, those blinders came off and what I saw next was beautiful. What I saw was nothing, it was a blank canvas in front of me. It was me and my canvas and that’s all. I was given the ultimate gift in life, and God has given me a blank canvas to create whatever I wanted.

I Can’t Write

At the time I was overwhelmed and embarrassed about my lack of skill in the writing department. I never thought I could be good enough. I never thought I belonged in this field or would ever be good enough to become an author and publish books. Who am I? Who would want to read a book from a dyslexic kid with a pretty serious learning disability? I hated reading with a passion and still struggle with it to this day. Everything that has to do with that department, I was bad at it.

Everything you just read is why I thought I could never be a good writer. But everything you just read is the reason why I think I’m going to be a good writer. Who knows maybe I’ll go on to sell millions of copies or even make the bestsellers list. Honestly, I don’t care, my writing is just going to be a small part of what I want to do.

Thank You

Yes, I love writing and I owe everything to writing. As funny as this sounds if writing was a person I would shake his or her hand and thank them for what they did for me. Writing literally saved my life, and not being dramatic or funny saying that. I was in a bad place for a number of years. Writing helped me to keep going in life. Writing helped me to express myself and gave me a chance to create something unique and different like me.

I could be anything I wanted, I could write anything I wanted and writing helped me do that. From a young age, I had this handicap and extra weight on my shoulders. I just didn’t know how to deal with my issues on a daily basis.

Blessing In Disguise

After reading a book about Tupac, he was the final piece I needed to start this new hobby of mine. That hobby quickly became an obsession, and from there it took off. Writing gave me hope in life and made me feel something for the first time in a long time. I quickly realized, that this disability that God put on me from a young age. All though it caused a lot of stress over the years and a lot of tuff days. I quickly realized that when God made me dyslexic, was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me think outside of the box and helped me to create the books that I have written and to start my blog that I have now.

In high school, if you would have told me where I would be in 10 years I would have laughed in your face. At 28 I have three books ready to be edited and published. I have four books in my head that I know I will write in the near future. Writing helped me to see the world differently and quickly helped me realize why I was put here on earth. I now want to share what I have learned with kids and young adults like me.

New Mission

Nobody should feel useless or discouraged or even embarrassed all the time. Nobody should be ashamed of who they are and what they are going through and dealing with. Life is a battle and it’s not easy. I’m not perfect I only started to change my ways a few years ago. I was a late bloomer in the world, and it took me a long time to see that.

Now I want to help kids like me. I don’t want them to miss the opportunities that I missed. I don’t want kids to be pissed off toward the world and blaming people or whatever comes there way. I’m trying to help them find meaning and find purpose in life. That’s why I’m doing this now. I know what the struggle is like, I know how hard it is to carry that extra weight on your shoulders every day. I feel like it’s my job to help you take that weight off and start making the most of the life you have now.

My Obsession

Writing helped me to realize what I was doing wrong all these years. That’s why I salute you writing and thank you for everything you have done for me. Now that I’m not being forced to write, it’s now fun and something I’m trying to turn into a career. Who would have had thought, I would be trying to turn one of my worst weaknesses and something I struggled with the most in my life into a career now?

When I write now, It’s not with my fingers on a computer or a pencil in a book. I’m writing with my heart. I’m giving you and writing everything I have. Because I have wasted far too much time not giving life everything I have. Who knows if my writing will even help people, maybe it won’t but at least I can say I tried. But there’s also that possibility I could help one kid, or who knows maybe even hundreds or thousands of kids. Stay tuned, I’m only getting started.

Face Your Beast

I’m My Own Beast

When you hear Beast what do you think? Something big and scary, something that might frighten you? Now the definition might be similar, but what beast we see could be very different in everyone’s eyes. Some might be intimidated by something in front of them, that has control over you every day.

Who is my beast it’s simple, me? I have been avoiding the beast that had my number for years. I was always scared to face him and fight back because I was so weak mentally. Looking in the mirror was always hard because I didn’t like who I was looking at. Until I decided enough is enough, it’s time to face my beast once and for all and do something about it. My shadow always controlled me all of these years. Following me and constantly staring me down every day. It was time to face my beast and face my toughest opponent in my life, me.

Mind Games

In the back of my mind, I kept hearing from a young age. I’m not good enough to play basketball and make it to the NBA. I’m just squeaking by in school, that’s because my parents and teachers did most of the work for me. I can’t win and be successful in life, what’s the point in even trying and living? I wanted to give up before I really even started. Waving the white flag and already saying uncle, I just gave up.

I failed so much in my past and felt alone and useless over the years, I thought what can I accomplish? Who would want to date me or possibly marry me with the issues and baggage I’m dragging behind me every day? It was easy thinking of all of the negatives because I felt like I hadn’t done much in my life up to this point. I was an easy target for myself to attack.

My Purpose

Now here we are, going from most of my life not wanting to live feeling useless and embarrassed for who I am. Now wanting to live and proud of who I am and for what I’m trying to accomplish. I now know why God put this disability on my shoulders. Of course, I could be wrong, haha, but I truly think it’s to help kids. Help kids and young adults like me who feel different and unique and alone. Kids who are searching and confused as to why they are here and who they are.

My disability which I thought at the time was a curse helped me to see the world and everything differently in my life. Welcome to The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes. This is my story, I just happened to be dyslexic. We all have a story, and it’s unique and different. That’s what makes all of us so special and life so precious.

Time For A Change

I was sick of who I was and the fact that my shadow and other side kept controlling me all of these years. It was time for a change and I had to do something about it. It was time to shut up, and for once in my life let my actions talk for me.

It’s halfway through 2018. I have written three books and at the moment I have four more books that I want to write. I have read almost 50 books in the last four years, and now blogging. At 21 I decided I’m going to try and enter a field I never thought I could or should be in. Now at 28, there is no trying anymore. I’m determined and there is no hesitation about becoming a published author. When it’s all said and done I don’t have an end goal of how many books I want to sell or how big of a writer I want to be. I could care less about that part of the business, that’s not why I want to be a writer and publish books. I have said that hundreds of times and I will keep saying it.

You Are Driving Me

What’s driving me now to become the best writer and Peter I can be. It’s easy, yes, I have personal goals I’m trying to hit and some fun goals that would be awesome to hit. In the end, it’s one thing and one thing only. It’s you, it’s the kid’s that are like me and have a similar background like me. That’s it there’s no if’s and’s or butts about it.

The only reason why I want to sell millions of copies of books is for potentially the millions of kids I could be talking to. It doesn’t matter if I make $3 a book or a penny a book I DONT CARE. Some people do it for the money and that’s fine, that’s their choice.

Reality Check

Life is short, life is a gift. Far too many of us take advantage of that and abuse it every day. Myself included, I have my off days. We only get one life and one chance to live, when we die it’s GAME OVER. There are no do-overs, no second chances its checkmate.

That’s why the last few years my mindset changed, I was looking at life all wrong. It was a rude awakening but I finally get it now. That’s why it was time to fight back, not because I had to and it’s the correct thing to say. It’s because I was sick of losing and scared of the road I was going down. It was time for a change and to get out of the shadows. All of these years I have been searching, praying, and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a long journey and a hard battle every day over the last 28 years. I’m not done yet, and I feel like I’m only getting started.

Backpacking Across Europe

Backpacking 2018

If you haven’t noticed I have been a little MIA the last few weeks. I was backpacking across Europe for two weeks on a mission’s trip with Live10:27. We traveled through 10 countries. I landed in England, we took another plane to Denmark for two days. After that in the days to come, I went to Sweden, Germany, Belgium, Cech Republic, Luxemburg, Austria, Italy, Switzerland. I got home around 12:30 AM on Wednesday, and yes if you’re wondering I’m still tired and kind of out of it.

Not only was it a great opportunity to travel and see the world, which is an awesome bonus. I love to travel and see new things. I love my home in Lancaster, but in case you didn’t know this. There is a lot in the world outside of Lancaster PA haha. Being the youngest of four I have always felt safe at home and I always liked being home and felt comfortable. I’m not a big fan of change and being taken out of my comfort zone, well till the last few years. For years I didn’t like who I was and where I was going with myself in life. I had to do something about it, I just didn’t know where to begin.

Wherever you are in your life right now. If you’re in a slump and not sure what’s next for you or trying to figure out your next move. Maybe you need to get out for a little bit and do something different or out of your comfort zone?

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” – Neale Donald Walsch

Blaming God

For years and years, I didn’t like who I was and the person God created. For most of my life, I questioned why he made me the way he did and put this disability on my shoulders? I always wondered if maybe I was the one mistake he had in creating me? Quickly realizing he didn’t make a mistake, it was just my mind playing games on me. I was feeding my mind these lies for years and years. I didn’t know who to talk to, and nobody could understand what it was like being in my situation. So, I needed someone to blame and put this on.

This trip opened up a lot for me and let me see a lot of things in my life so far. Yes, I got to travel and see the world which I can’t take for granted. Not many people get to travel, and I feel lucky enough to have that opportunity. I have been to 13 different countries and they are all special and beautiful and unique in their own way. From the Alps in Switzerland to the canals in Venice Italy. All the way to a small little town in Peru. I have seen a lot over the years.

Part Of The Game

That’s why those trips are going to play a huge role in making me a better person. All of those countries I had the opportunity to visit and see, I couldn’t have done that without financial support from friends and family. I’ve taken advantage of people in the past of giving money and not truly grasping the concept of it. How people must feel about me to be willing to give up their hard-earned money to send me on these trips.

Some of the places I saw in the last two years would be a dream vacation to see what I saw. Here I am to have had the opportunity to see some of these places twice and seeing how beautiful and magical these places really are. I think this year it really hit me, how some people really care about me to help me go on this trip. That’s one of the things I learned on this trip.

Stretch Yourself

I had the opportunity to talk to a lot of cool people this year and hear their stories. It was a lot of fun and a great experience for me. That’s why I think if you’re not sure where to begin or in a slump. Then go travel somewhere for some time. Get away from your everyday life and put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Sleep outside at a train station In Munich Germany. Sleep in an uncomfortable overnight train going to Venice Italy. Or maybe if you get the opportunity, go sleep in a Chalet in the Swiss Alps for a night.

Do things you normally never thought you would do. Take yourself out of your daily routine and stretch yourself. Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and seeing what the world gives you and what you see and how you react to what is placed in front of you. That’s how I think you find the type of person you are.

Eye Opening

Traveling on this trip helped me appreciate the things I have. It helps me to realize how lucky I am to have a bed and roof over my head. Sleeping outside at a train station like what a homeless person does every night. Here I am doing it for one night, and who knows how long a homeless person has been doing it for. I know how lucky and blessed I really am. I have seen more than a good percentage of the people in the world. I’m taking myself out of my daily routine, trying to figure out who Peter is and trying to better myself.

That’s what we all should be doing every day. Some might have to leave the country, some might be lucky enough and just have to go for a short walk and think. It doesn’t matter who you are and how you do it. The point is that you do something to make yourself uncomfortable and start living why you still have the opportunity to live.

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75” – Benjamin Franklin