Category: Motivation

Keep Going

Why is it so easy to give up? Why do we usually give in, when things are not going our way or getting hard? Is it because we are weak and were not determined or hungry enough? Maybe we just don’t want it bad enough? Maybe we’re not willing to sacrifice enough to accomplish that ultimate goal you and I are so focused on. It doesn’t matter what situation you are in or how hard you are working for it. Once you get those negative thoughts in the back of your head. Once you start playing those mind games with yourself, it makes that hill your currently climbing that much harder. We just need to remember don’t give up.

With that said, we all are going through different battles every day. Were all climbing different hills trying to reach the top? If you’re not trying to reach the top and working your hardest, then what are you doing? It’s 2017 now, even though there is a lot of evil and hate in the world right now. Unfortunately, everywhere you look it seems like something new is happening. It’s sad, it truly is sad that this is where the world is going.

Timing Won’t Always Be Perfect

It doesn’t matter what distractions you have or what burdens are placed in front of you. If you want to be successful, and publish that book. Accomplish that race you are training for or whatever your goal that your working towards. The timing to do that and prepare for that goal is never going to be perfect. That’s life, sometimes bad things happen and you have to adapt to what’s being placed in front of you.

Having my learning disability placed on my shoulders at a young age and sucks and I developed a lot of bad habits from it. After all these years now, I can’t keep using my LD as an excuse. Or maybe instead I can use it as a motivator to keep me going? A kid who barely graduated high school with a 2.0, lazy, and no care in the world. Using my weaknesses as an excuse.

Now I’m flipping the script and instead of running away from my fears, weaknesses, and faults I have. Now I’m starting to embrace them and try and conquer them and turn everything around. Yes, I’m always going to have my personal issues and having these burdens on my shoulders. I’m not proud of that, but unfortunately, I have to keep working as hard as I can till I take my last breath.

I Don’t Belong

With that said, I’m trying to enter a field that realistically I probably don’t belong in. I probably read my first cover to cover book at the age of 19. I’m trying to enter this field, with everything weighing me down and everything stacked against me.

Plus not to mention with a blindfold on. I don’t know what to do it’s all new to me. I’m trying to figure it out as I go, and figure out the best direction to go. With everything, I just said giving all the reasons why a publisher wouldn’t want me or my books, is the exact reason that is going to help me sell my books and share my story with the world. We all have a unique story, that is why I’m trying to share my story. Because you and the world need to hear my story, just like I need to hear your story.

I know what it’s like to fail, and I have failed more than enough. With all 105 emails of people passing on my book that still hasn’t stopped me. It’s only made me hungrier and more focused on my craft to keep working harder and trying to do a better job. That’s the reason why one day in the near future if that’s six months from now or two years from now. It doesn’t matter when it happens, I’m going to keep working as hard as I am now as I will six months or two years from now.

Life Can Be Ruthless

That’s life it’s not going to be easy, and sometimes life kicks our butt, and its hard sometimes. Yes, we might question why all of this happens and why does it have to happen this way. I would be lying if I didn’t wonder that and have those thoughts in the back of my head sometimes.

Life here on earth is so short and fly’s by. In May of 2018 will be 10 years I have been out of HS. It seems like just yesterday I was back in HS playing sports and counting the days till graduation. Well, time is up and I got my wish, I’m in the real world now and this is what I wanted. So it’s time to man up, or woman up. Go after what it is you want in life. Make the most of it and don’t give up or give in, and just settle for a 9-5 just because it’s safe and easy. Think outside of the box and keep chasing that dream of yours, keep working your butt off. Sacrifice what you need to make that dream of yours a reality.

You

The number of opportunities in front of us is more than enough. Stop making excuses for not being able to do this or that. Who cares what others think, stop living for them, and start living for you. Start working and going after what YOU want, not what you think others want for you or what you’re told to go after. Only you know what YOU want deep down within you. That sick feeling in your stomach, that scars the crap out of you and is freaking you out about chasing that dream of yours. Don’t be scared of it, embrace it, welcome it, and enjoy the ride.

My Dash

Live your dash, what does that mean is probably what you’re thinking. The dash represents your life that you live. For example, I was born in 1990-. It’s from a poem by Linda Ellis, and with only using 239 words. The message is so deep and means so much, with such little words used.

In some cases, I have already or will repeat myself, as far as what I’m trying to do with this website. Again my goal is to become a published author and share my story with you, and the world. We all have a unique story and something to share. Unfortunately, most people won’t share it or do anything about it. Honestly, that’s a waste and a shame if you ask me. I went years and years depressed, angry, pissed not just at myself and who I was and why I was this stupid kid with a Learning Disability.

Me Against The World

I was also against the world. I felt like it was impossible to succeed and be successful and make something of myself with this weakness and faults I was born with. Little did I know at six years old when I was diagnosed with this disability. A little over 20 years later I will have created my own website and sharing my story with the world.

If you didn’t know, I have two sides to me and I think that’s normal to an extent. For me, for example, it was two completely different people living in my body. Who people thought I was and who they saw in person and around others. I tried to be a good person and be happy and helpful to others. But when I was by myself, that’s when the real Peter A Harrower came out and my true self was free. I was an angry kid, I’m still angry and again I think I’ll always have that rage to an extent. Over the years I just found a way to kind of control it, and tame it I guess you could say.

Who Cares

With everything, I’m trying to say here and share with you. It doesn’t matter what your background is or where you came from or what you did or used to do. You can always turn your life around. Not just because you should do it for yourself and maybe you will feel better. Who knows what impact you might have on somebody else? That’s what I’m trying to do here, share my life and world with you.

Sure I’m also trying to build a following so I have enough support behind me to help pursue a career in writing and maybe get a book deal out of it. I’m not going to apologize about that, yes it’s my choice to pursue that field. It’s also my choice to share my story, just like it’s your choice. Now I know first hand if you keep everything to yourself, you’re wasting a lot of good opportunities to help others and make a difference. I realized that the hard way and I paid the price for it. I don’t want you to waste your life and make the wrong choices like I did. My childhood is clearly over and I’m 27 now. My opportunity is long gone, but yours isn’t.

Listen Kid’s

I’m talking to you stubborn kids these days, that think they know everything. You don’t know anything yet, I know that because I used to be like you. All of this is being shared with love, of course, haha. I thought I had all the answers and everything figured out. Enjoy your childhood, and teenage years. Because when it’s over, it’s over there is no going back. This isn’t a video game or a movie, this is real life.

As I’m sitting here writing this right now, let me ask you. What are you going to do with your dash? With everything I have shared with you so far, and the inside look at who the real Peter is so far. I’m sure a lot of you had no idea I had all of these issues, or maybe thought this way, or even had these goals. Well surprise, and this is all coming straight from yours truly. My goal from day one was to be as real as possible and show you who I really am. No, I’m not perfect and neither are you, but really who is? I’m asking you, what will you do with your Dash?

Make The Most Of It

It doesn’t matter what year you were born and what number comes first before the dash. What matters most is, you keep working your hardest and doing the best you can before that end number shows up. If that doesn’t scare you, then you’re not taking this serious enough it’s that simple. I don’t want to die anymore like I used to a few years ago. Now If I die well then so be it, I know where I’m going. Now I want to live, the last few years have been hard. I’m not just living for myself anymore, I’m living for my family, friends and all of you.

I have to keep going and keep pushing myself and bettering myself every day. As long as you are still breathing then you have a chance to make a difference, no matter what everyone else says to you. If you believe in yourself then that’s all that matters. Life is too short, live it up and make the best use of that Dash, don’t waste it anymore. After all, you only get one life, and one Dash so enjoy it and have fun. Now is the time to Live Your Dash.

My Legacy

Against A Wall

For Me

My Anger

Anger is I don’t want to say a skill or talent I have mastered at a young age. More along the lines of a bad habit you could say. Now yes there can be some pros to having anger or an angry mindset. It’s very few, the cons definitely outweigh the pros.

I’ll save you the details but if you haven’t noticed there’s a trend here. All of the issues that I have developed over the years. My anger started when I was six. Not far behind a lack of confidence, bad attitude and sarcasm all were building up and trailing behind. It all began when I found out I was different and I had a disability. Again I’m trying not to complain here. More along the lines of just opening up about it from a different perspective.

Pros

As far as the pros with anger and having that attitude and roughness that comes with it. If that’s what you’re wondering this is what I’m talking about. Having this cloud over me and being different my whole life. When it was time for me to work and I actually put in the effort. I had to work harder than everyone else. In order to just keep up with the class, I had to work twice as hard and I would still get worse grades. With that work ethic, I had developed at a young age that carried over to me now. Being in the best shape I have ever been, the smartest and most determined I have ever felt.

The twenties are a hard age group, you’re just finishing up college or you have been out of high school for a few years. You are trying to find yourself, trying to find direction and what it is you want to do and where you want to go. For me, the last six or seven years have been harder than my prior 20 years. Now where I am in life, my determination and anger that I have are what helped take me over the edge. Again if you use anger the right way, to help drive you to be successful and push yourself to better yourself.

Fragile

On the flip side, if you let it and your emotions get the best of you then it can be one of your worst enemies. In my early years, my anger definitely got the best of me and had control over me. I was a puppet to anger; if it told me to do this do that, jump here. Following those directions, no hesitation I couldn’t help it. I was weak and soft and at a low point. I couldn’t control it and try and fight back. It was a battle day in and day out, and a battle I lost on a regular basis.

There were times when my anger got so bad, all I wanted to do was break stuff, or hit something. My parents noticed it and I’m sure they were worried for a while because they saw it from a different perspective then I did. Just imagine if they knew what was really going on in my head, they would have been a lot more concerned.

My Release

MY parents actually got me a punching bag for Christmas one year. I had an excuse to hit something and let out that rage that was building and forming within me. I would picture what or who I wanted to hit, and not get in trouble for breaking anything or punching a wall. It was a battle against my mind, even though I was punching the bag. I felt like I was punching and fighting my faults and my frustrations that were controlling me daily.

As I’m writing this, I can’t say I have concurred my anger. To be honest, I don’t think I ever will. Deep down I’m always going to have that rage and anger deep within me. Now one plus about it is, I’m starting to hold the rains and starting to take control. I’m still human and filled with emotions.

Spidey Sense

Say something happens to a family member because of somebody else making a stupid mistake. They get hurt for what the other person did, it’s natural and our instinct to want to do whatever we can and protect the ones we love. It doesn’t matter who you are, as humans, men, women, Christians or non-believers. Deep down we all have that instinct to help those that are down and vulnerable. The thing is what will you do about it when the time comes to use your power to help others? Some will act and try to help, some will just roll by and pretend like it never happened or they didn’t see anything.

With everything I said. Are you the one being controlled, or are you the one doing the controlling? We have our faults and we get caught up in the moment when we are being backed into a corner. Were human, not using it as an excuse.

Take A Chance

Life is like a chess game, have you ever thought about it like that? We start taking little steps in life trying to find our feet and figure things out. As life goes on we get older and start to get farther into the game we’re playing. Things start to happen, roadblocks come along we start to get bills and stress is starting to build up. How we react to everything that’s being placed on our lap or in front of us, is just how you respawn with your next move in chess.

Are you going to take a gamble and a risk or just play it safe and take the easy route and step by step? There’s no right or wrong answer here, only you can answer for yourself. We each have are on board and making our own moves in our game that we call life. What are you going to do with your life bored?

Where Are You Going

I’ve taken the easy route for far too long, and look where it got me? Now I’m picking it up a notch and changing my approach. I have become more aggressive and willing to take chances. Take those aggressive moves and leaps of faith to pursue new things.

Again as much as it scares the crap out of me, and trust me it does. I would rather take a gamble on something. Try and do something worthwhile with the reaming time I have left.

Now my anger is driving me and helping to push me and guide me. When I don’t feel motivated. Whenever I start to change directions and veer of course. My anger and determination give me a good slap to the face to remind me what the goal is. Do you know what you’re doing, and the direction your heading?

What A Stupid Number

Rejection can be hard, especially 105 plus times. I’m sure we have all have gone through it at one time or another in our lives. Yes like most things, some more than others, some had it worse or easier, of course, that’s life. Not everybody is going to go through the same, roadblocks. One example might be, if you email agents about your book and you get no, after no, after no. Let’s just say the last few months, I’m starting to hate the word no.

This might sound dramatic a little. Seeing everything first hand I feel like I would know more than anyone else. I have been rejected a lot, and have been through a lot. When I found out about my disability and I was different than every other kid in my grade. Going back to when this all started 20 plus years ago.

Hard Work

It wasn’t all bad and horrible; please understand that there were definitely good moments and happy times. Unfortunately, no matter how good the happy times and exciting times are. It’s true what they say the bad always outweighs the good. Well, it will always outweigh the good, only if we let it of course. We need to keep in mind it’s all in our minds and how we handle and react to everything. It’s our mindset that makes a difference.

For my books, I have put hours and days into creating them and trying to turn just a random document on my computer into something special. I’m an artist trying to turn a blank canvas into a masterpiece. I feel like I finally found my purpose and what it is that I’m supposed to do now.

My Family

Life is short I don’t want any more regrets so that’s why I have been working my tail off for the last six years. They are right, life is short and it goes fast, that’s the reason why I have worked so hard and put so much into this over the years. Here is my life in the last six years by the numbers. Book one TWTMDE-196 hours and counting that’s just over eight days. Two,  90 hours almost four days. Three about 85 hours, three and a half days.

With all the time and hours I put into these books and trying to bring these stories alive. Imagine how you would feel getting rejection letter after rejection letter, 105 times? In the back of my mind, it’s hard not to start thinking. Well crap, maybe this isn’t what I’m supposed to do. Now what do I do, I’m back to square one?

My birthday is March 25 and the day before I sent my first email to an agent looking for representation. From 3/24-8/11 was the last email I sent. Within those five months, I have sent exactly 305 emails to different agents looking for someone to rep me. Within that time I have received 105 emails saying the same thing, no.

Tunnel Vision

I’m so focused on what I think I’m meant to do, again I have never been this focused and determined before. I will send 1,000 emails if I have to. I have had blinders on the last three years, that’s when I took my writing to the next level. Now I think I’m on to something; all I need is one person to bite and give me a chance. Again it sucks I’m not going to deny it and lie to you. That’s why I built this website. A few of them explained my network and my following isn’t big enough to back me quite yet.

I can’t deny that in this new field I’m entering I’m a newbie. That’s why I’m doing this; I’m taking matters into my own hand. There were some days I was sad and upset about it, and I let it get the best of me. I lied there were a lot more than some, it was bad for a while. We have all been there I’m sure at one time in our life, who hasn’t? What makes you and me different, is how long you stay there and what you do when you come out of that funk you’re in.

I’m Not Normal

You can just accept it and stay down why the world or whatever had you down keep kicking you. Or you get up, rise and do something about it? You do whatever it is you have to do to keep going, keep fighting and keep working toward whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish and chasing after. Whatever the situation might be, as a dyslexic kid entering a field realistically I probably don’t belong in.

You know what who cares, screw normal and forget what everyone else says. Yes, if you haven’t noticed I can’t spell, or my grammar is bad and I’m definitely not the smartest kid I’ll admit that. What makes me different is I had to think outside the box my whole life. I’m not like everyone else. I’m different and I’m proud of that now, I wasn’t always proud before. I don’t want to settle and just be an average Joe anymore living a life that’s safe and secure. We only get one life and one chance here on Earth.

Accept It

I have been scared my whole life, I have kept to myself my whole life, and lived in a box where I thought I would be happy and ok with where I was. Not anymore, once I fell into writing and journaling and started back on August 6, 2011, was the first day I started my book.

I would rather commit and put everything I can into it and do the best I can. After 10 years I fail and it doesn’t work out, well that sucks but I have to accept it and move on. Looking back, I will be proud of the effort I put in and realized it’s not what I’m destined for. It’s just another step in my life. I would rather take that chance and rolled the dice, then settle and play it safe.

You Can’t Let It Stop You

Another example is what I had talked about earlier about Pac. He died at 25 but look at what he did with his career? Yes, he died at a young age and it’s sad, but look at what he accomplished? I would rather commit and make the most of my life in a short span on earth, then be around for the long haul.

I would rather die at 50 and do everything I could in my power to make a difference, help others and use my story to impact people. That would be more rewarding to me, then living into my late 90s and just keep to myself and just be average and go with whatever happens and live inside a box. You decide what you want to do with your life. Do you want to go after something and not let rejection and failure control you and your outcome? Or do you want to be this guy and keep running and running doing the same thing over and over and not going anywhere in life?

Keep Working

That day changed my life, and that’s when the process of the new me started to develop and the real me was starting to come out. Sure it’s a process it will take time, it won’t happen overnight. I can’t be scared anymore and I’m not, honestly what else do I have to lose. Maybe I won’t be the next John Grisham or J.K. Rowling.

If that’s the case then it wasn’t meant to be, I guess God has something different planned for me. If I don’t try or I just decide after getting 105 rejection letters about my books and said screw it, I can’t do this anymore, I’m done. Again we all have different paths and journeys were on. I know in the beginning it might be scary taking that leap of faith and going after what you want to do or what you have a passion for. Trust me I know, I took that gamble and leap and jumped.

Go Through That Wall

What are you going to do about it, let rejection get the best of you or let the wall in front of you stop you? Are you going to keep working and try and find a way around it, over it or through it, maybe under it? If you want it bad enough then you will do whatever it takes to get to where it is you want to go. I’m in that moment right now, I have made up my mind. I decide I’m going all in; I’m fully committed and ready to take that gamble. I don’t want any more regrets in my life, yes I’m young still but the regrets I already have in my life our more than enough at this point, I don’t need anymore.

Life is supposed to be fun, we need to start acting like that. Making the most of it and living it up. Are you going to let 105 people prevent you from accomplishing your goals and chasing what it is you want to become? Or are you just going to play it safe and settle?

What Are Your Goals

People I have talked to, books I have read, or podcasts I have listened to within the last few years. It’s unbelievable the number of people that don’t have goals or kind of just roll with whatever it is they want to do or are aiming for in life. They might say, ooh that would be cool to do that or maybe one day I hope to have this or that. I don’t think that’s a goal, you have heard that statement hundreds of times.

Without a plan and just going with the flow or whatever it is you are doing day in and day out. If that’s your attitude, then what you think are goals are actually just dreams. If you’re not going after it with everything you have and giving it your all, then what are you really accomplishing? Honestly, it almost seems kind of pointless, if you are not fully committing to it.

I Think I Understand

Again how I said I think I’m starting to put everything together, and starting to understand life a little bit? Well, this is just my opinion, and what I think of course. I mean it’s my website it’s all my opinions haha. With me being a Christian and believing in something bigger than myself, we were all put here for a reason. I also believe why we are on earth and living out a purpose and are duties that are already planned out for us. I believe that God gives us some choices that will lead to whatever it is we are destined to do or follow through with.

With that said, with whatever time you and I have left on Earth. Don’t you think it’s time to change your ways and start trying to better yourself and make the most of it? In my earlier years, I was lazy and like I said earlier I just rolled with whatever came my way. I complained about it and didn’t do anything about it. I just let that cloud hang around and stay with me for far too long. It’s too late now to go back in time to fix my mistakes and fix my poor attitude I had in school all of those years.

Write It Out

With everything I said, I’m not perfect I miss writing down my goals some days I’ll admit it. Even If I miss a day or two of writing them down. Next, to my bedroom door, I have my list. At the top it’s marked March 25, 2020, so if you’re wondering what that day is? That’s the day I turn 30 and that’s the day that I want to accomplish all of my goals. I have about five or six that are my main focus and what I’m really working towards. Then I have a few others that I want to accomplish. They are more physical so if my body holds up and I’m healthy, then I’ll go for it.

Here are my goals, and they have been on my board next to my door since July 12, 2015. That’s when I decided to do this, and that’s really when my new mindset began to shift. Enough was enough, one day it just hit me. It was about time I do something with my life and started working towards something. You can be a new person like I’m trying to be, all you have to do is decide right now? It really is that simple, decide what it is you want in life. Come up with a plan and do something about it.

Time

Stop wasting time, every day is special and WE all, I definitely included in that. I think it’s about time we start showing this gift that we are given every day that we call TIME, some respect. We need to start making the most of our life. Stop taking advantage of this beautiful gift we get every day. What are you going to do about it? Make something of yourself or just say screw it and just keep wasting time? What are you going to decide and do from this point going forward?