Can or Can’t

Mindset is Key

Whether you think you can or can’t, your right – Henry Ford

In case you didn’t know, I love quotes. There are quotes for everything, for all different moods, happy, sad, and everything in between. So, it doesn’t matter what your going throw, don’t worry there’s a quote for it.

What I love so much about this quote above, is only you can answer it and it’s you vs you. If you’re working on something that’s hard or you don’t like it and you start getting frustrated. Do you still believe you can do it or are you in the cant stage right now?

New Me

In my early years, I was definitely the can’t. Every now and then I might have had a few moments with can. If it had to do with sports there was no question it was can. When it had to do with school, believing in myself and well every other attribute that follows it was an easy cant.

Time has just flown by, there’s no question about it. Now am I happy time has flown by and gone so quick. No, because that means I’m getting older and everything is changing.

Now I will say this like I’ve said before everything happens for a reason. I can’t change that and I wouldn’t have even if I could. My struggles and my hard times in my early years and the first few years in my 20s. All of those years helped make me into the person I am today. I had to go through the hard times, the struggles to find my purpose and find my life.

Things Change

If you asked me on graduation day that moment I heard my name and got that piece of paper that I’ve been chasing for years. Wanting to graduate and get that stupid piece of paper saying I graduated from school I think was my first ever goal I had in my life.

I made that goal at a young age saying I can’t wait to graduate and get my diploma. Once I get that everything will get better and be easier. The moment I got it and looked out in the crowd. I thought two things. First, there is a lot of people here. I don’t ever want this many sets of eyes staring at me ever again. Second, this is what I was pursuing for all of these years. What a waste, just this piece of paper that I can’t remember the last time I looked at it in my parent’s house.

My Priorities

Now here I am 30 years old. Married, two-time published author. The second book I wrote with my girl hit #1 on Amazon’s new releases. WOW, how did I get here? Wait, I’m not supposed to be here, this isn’t my life and what I wanted to do all of these years ago? Your right this isn’t what I wanted to do years ago. But here I am and trying to make the most of it.

It’s not about the money and the glory, it never was and it never will be. It’s very simple what it’s about and what this journey of mine has ALWAYS been about. To make a difference and help people and entertain people and to fulfill my God-given purpose. That’s it. NOTHING else.

Time to Live

Now do I want to provide a good life for Lindsay and my family, well duh, of course. But my writing has never been about getting the recognition or $ for what I write. Now is it nice getting those things, well of course? I need to pay the bills and I love food and need to eat.

Now look at me I have multiple books in the works now and trying to expand this small business of mine into something bigger. Now I’m speaking and chasing those uncomfortable feelings that not only terrified me all of those years ago. The moment I started getting out of my comfort zone, was the moment I started living.

Weakness to Strength

I’m living proof hard work pays off. Now I’m not done yet, I’m just getting started. A few years ago, it felt like I was just getting started and just started to live. This drive and focus and the Can vs can’t is what’s pushing me. Now there’s a lot that’s pushing me and motivating me of course.

But the competitive drive that is in me I now switched it towards my life. There is no can’t anymore, all there is can. Will it be easy of course not? I’m 30 years old and would still probably struggle if I went back to school today, thankfully I don’t have to do that haha. School is one of my biggest weaknesses and struggles to this day. Next is probably believing and having confidence in myself.

Main Goals

That’s why can or can’t is so important. Most of my life I was a can’t person. Look at what I accomplished the first 25 years of my life? Now I’m a can person and look at what I have done in the last five years?

I have three main goals in my life that I’ve dreamed about and been striving for since graduation. Two of them came true at the end of 2018. I got married, never thought I would find someone to love me when I struggle to love myself. 76 days later I published my first book and that was my greatest achievement in my life. I’m still working on that third one.

Can or Can’t

Where is your head right now in life? What does your mindset look like? Are you a can or can’t person? Do you want to get better, or stay the same? There’s a lot of questions you need to ask yourself. But most importantly it’s now what your answers are. It’s how you answer those questions with the belief behind those answers its what’s going to keep you going in life.

(The picture is how many books I have read from 20 years old to now. Remember I hate reading and still read very slow to this day.)

Goals vs Growth

Which One

If I ask you how to define goals what would you say? What if I ask you to define growth? What if I ask you what the difference of goals vs growth is? If you can’t answer that’s ok. Someone who’s a lot smarter and more successful than me took care of that, John Maxwell. In one of John’s books he talks about growth, that’s the whole point of the book. This part he compares the two and gives examples.

  • Goals – focuses on a destination, motivates you, seasonal, challenges you, stops when a goal is reached.
  • Growth – focusses on the journey, matures you, lifelong, changes you, keeps you growing beyond the goal.

Growth over Goals

For me especially the last five years goals were all I was focused on. I figured if I want to be successful I need goals and big ones. If I want my dreams to come true then I need to set goals to help reach and accomplish those goals. Well, that last sentence is true. You still need goals to help push you and keep you focused. But what if I tell you that’s, not the only thing?

I would say the last year especially the last few months after reading this book. Growth and the journey seemed to catch my attention a lot more. Seeing where I was five-plus years ago to now is cool. Seeing what I have accomplished in the last five years, especially the last two. But overall the growth that I have seen is way sweeter than the goals.

Different Phases

Now, look at my past, or past blog posts. I have a handful of posts talking about goals. I’m not saying they are bad that’s far from it. All I’m saying is for me I thought it was an end goal and destination I have been searching for over the last few years. But if you ask me and what I have seen and learn over that same time, it’s the journey that was more memorable and better.

Seeing where I was freshman year to senior year in high school. From 18 years old to 21 years with very little change and growth. Just going through life and paving the way for what’s next. 22 years old to 24 going through a lot of hard times and struggling and searching and slowly and I mean slowly starting to change. 25 too present time right now, I’m a whole new person.

Part Of the Journey

Like always I don’t say all of this to brag and pat myself on the back. That’s far from what I’m trying to do. Like always I’m trying to give you a better example of what I was going through and use that example for your own life.

I have battled weaknesses, embraced the suck, trying to take in my accomplishments and enjoy the journey so far along the way. That my friends that’s what’s been the biggest thing I have learned so far. It’s not publishing multiple books and having a handful of speaking engagements and going on tv and everything else in between. That’s all part of the ride I was on every day to get me here.

Just Beginning

The biggest thing is I didn’t settle. I didn’t just pick something and ride it out and roll with it. I did what I had to do every day going through my life of course. But in the back of my mind, I knew there was something else out there. Something bigger and especially bigger than me.

I’m not done yet and I have said it before. I feel like my journey is only beginning if you ask me. But what I haven’t figured it out yet is if that’s a good thing or bad thing? I guess you could look at it either way. But if you ask me I think it’s a good thing because I already went through everything I went through to get me here. Now I know where I was and I don’t want to go back. I’ve learned and grew and battled with goals vs growth and now I know what I’m focused on.

It’s Been A Crazy Ride

My growth is way more important than the individual goals that I set for myself. I still have goals and am still pushing to accomplishing those goals and I always will set goals. But now what I’m starting to realize and see is it’s not just the goals in front of me and where I want to go. Its where I was and what I overcame and accomplished along the way to get me there.

Now I still struggle with taking in my accomplishments. I have published two books in a year. Read probably 95 books in about six years. I have written the first draft to four other books and have three other books in the back of my mind that I want to write down the road. One of my books hit #1 on Amazon’s new releases in three different categories. I was on tv with my beautiful wife and dog talking about that same book.

Keep Going

I have done a lot and my wife’s proud and happy and so is my family. But this is where I will get into trouble haha. I feel like I haven’t done that much, YET. Its because I’m hard on myself and my toughest critic, bad habit. I put these expectations on myself and pushing myself trying to improve and grow and get better that sometimes I get so focused on goals and not growth.

I know what you’re supposed to do but I fall for my own tricks sometimes. Now I’m trying to enjoy the last 30 years of my life and looking where I was and now where I am going. But especially the last eight years were the most special. Looking back the goals vs growth outlook helped get me to where I am today. These last eight years helped create the person I am today and I wouldn’t change, a thing.

New Opportunities

Crazy Week

Well, what can I say I have had some cool new opportunities come up recently. Two of them happened earlier this week. It’s still crazy thinking back to where I was a year or so ago or even before I met Lindsay about two years ago. Now looking where I am now it’s crazy how things have changed.

Now when I say how things have changed most of the time things don’t usually change unless you change or you put in the work to make those changes happen. I think it’s safe to say I have defiantly changed and I have defiantly done the work.

Big Goals

Even to this day, I don’t know why but I still struggle with taking in my accomplishments and what I’ve done. I have published two books in one year. I started my own business and got married.

Some other goals I had. I wanted to publish three books by the time I’m 30. Well, I don’t think I will complete that goal. My fiction book is still taking some time. But I did publish two books and have started or in the works of working on five others. So thats pretty cool. Well four of them are done and in the first draft. Now I’m just in the editing phase and trying to go back and make any changes I need to do.

I have read 95 books in the last seven-plus years. I made the goal five years ago to get to 100 by the time I’m 30. Well, I just finished number 100 a few days ago.

Push Yourself

The reason why I share some of those goals with you is that I want you to know how real and normal I am. Yes, I set big goals for myself because of many reasons. I want to challenge myself and get better and I want to have a great life. I want to push myself to the max and become the man I’m supposed to become. I especially don’t want to look back on my death bed and have regret after regret or the opportunities pop up in the back of my mind and smack me in the face and think I wished I would have done that and or gone and tried that.

Ed Mylett has a quote I don’t know it word for word, but you will get the idea. What pushes him is his future self when he gets to heaven and meets God. Ed says when I die God will go over everything I have done and could have done and should have done. He will tell me the person I could have been and should have been. Ed goes on to say if I don’t recognize that person then I failed. But if I do recognize that person then I did something right and made the most of my opportunities.

When I die I don’t want any regrets. I want to be the best husband, father hopefully one day brother, son, friend and so on. That’s what’s important to me. Of course, I want to make a difference and help people and do the right thing, that should be a given for all of us. Honestly, it starts with yourself. If you don’t figure you out and know what you’re doing then how do you expect to help others?

This Was A First

With that and these new opportunities that have come up recently. First Lindsay and I had the opportunity to go on Good Day PA on abc27 and I got to say that was an interesting experience haha. Did I like it no not really, especially being on tv and all eyes on me? I’m an introvert at heart.

The next day Lindsay and I had the opportunity to go to an elementary school near us and talk to them about our book. We talked to about 60 4th graders and I got to say that was a lot of fun. I wasn’t sure how it would be with talking to kids especially that young. I mean they are kids so we had to keep it fun but I think and I hope we did that. We talked to them about our books and Lindsay read the first chapter to them and we are definitely hoping to do that a lot more in the future.

Time To Grow

With that said Lindsay and I are excited about new opportunities down the road and what’s waiting for us ahead. I can’t wait to see what’s next. I’m excited and anxious to see what God has planned for me and looking forward to it.

Now for you, and me of course. Don’t be afraid of new opportunities that come up in front of you. Yes, you might be a little hesitant about what’s in front of you. Or maybe you will wonder, I can’t do that or why me? How can I do that or I won’t be able to help out. Maybe you don’t think that but I sure do.

If someone asks you to do something special like that, then maybe you should consider and take in that they want your help for a reason. Maybe, you do have something to offer and some way of helping out. You might not think so but someone does.

Embrace and Grow

Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. Once you do that, that’s when you will start living and will feel alive. Embrace the suck and the nervousness that might be waiting for you and roll with it. Thats all part of life and the journey we’re on.

Once you get over that you might be surprised what’s on the other side of that hill your climbing. If you ask me, I would rather get out of my comfort zone and live a little and be scared. Then to look back forty years from now and see what I could have been or done. If you ask me that scares me more then being nervous or anxious about the new opportunities in front of me.

This was Bella after two days in a row working. I took these pictures 20 minutes after leaving the school and coming home haha.

New Year 2020

New Year 2020

Well, it’s a New Year, I can’t believe its 2020 it sounds so weird saying that 2020, it’s 2020, did you know it’s 2020? Sorry just checking to see if you knew it was 2020 yet or not.

I know I haven’t written much lately. I have been a little distracted with some other projects I’m working on I wanted to focus on. It was also the holidays that I wanted to try and take a little time off for that. But don’t worry I’m back now.

My Goals

It’s the new year 2020. I’m guessing you made some new year’s resolutions or some new goals for the year? Yes, I made some new goals of course for the year.

  • Run 300 miles (I HATE RUNNING) I’m doing this because I want to be uncomfortable and challenge myself.
  • Write two books this year.
  • Publish my first fiction book.
  • Read an hour a day.
  • I want to do a Spartan race or a triathlon, who knows maybe both.
  • Have 5 speaking opportunities.

Challenge Accepted

That’s just to name a few goals for you that I had come up with for the new year. Will some be challenging well, of course, they wouldn’t be very good goals if they weren’t challenging. What’s the point of having easy goals, how do you grow from that?

Now, will some goals be a little easier than others, of course? Once I complete those goals I’ll check them off and use that momentum to keep moving toward checking off the other goals.

Use That Momentum

It’s important to come up with a plan and new goals for the year. You want that plan and goals to help you keep moving forward and pushing yourself farther in the new year. You want to use that momentum to help you keep moving in the right direction, forward.

In my past, I never really set many goals or did much at new year’s or really cared for it. If I wasn’t hanging out with my friends or maybe a few new years in the past I would hang out with my one sister and her family and some of their friends. It was fun and I enjoyed hanging out with them of course. But honestly, I would have preferred writing if I’m being honest. I mostly did that sure to get out of the house and have some fun. But I know my mom would have wanted me to get out and live a little also why I can.

I haven’t talked about it that much or maybe I have it’s just been a while. But to me, that was living writing and creating. My writing and process was helping me to move farther along in my future. I still remember dozens of times I could have hung out with my friends but I said no. Maybe I could have put more effort into trying to hang out with some people my age from my past jobs. But I knew in the back of my mind what I was working on was for the future and for my future self and family.

It’s Calling Me

Just like what I’m doing now. I have no problem getting up at 5:15 or 5:30 am to work and read till Lindsay gets up before she has to leave for work. Do I want to get up that early HECK NO, of course not?

Especially now that its winter. Why would I want to get out of my comfortable bed sleeping next to my beautiful wife with my pup keeping my feet warm? That is my life right there in one room, why would I want to leave that.

The reason why I get up that early is because I have had a dream since August of 2011 that I wanted to become a full-time author. News flash in case you didn’t know I’m not full time yet I’m far from full time. Now when I say full time I’m not saying I want to make millions of dollars or anything crazy like that. I mean sure if it happens with my books or speaking that would be amazing and a blessing. To me writing fulltime is not about money. Writing full time means I get to create and entertain people and have an impact and help people. That’s what I want more than money.

New Opportunities

I challenge you this year to push yourself. Who knows if I will make it full time this year or not. Maybe I will but maybe I won’t. It will happen when it happens. But in the meantime, I’m going to keep learning, keep reading and of course, keep writing whenever I can to make this part-time hobby of mine reflect the full-time career that I want it to be.

What will your new year 2020 look like? Are you excited are you nervous about not knowing what’s next? Don’t worry I have no clue what’s next either. It freaks me out sometimes but that’s good. That means I’m alive and still moving and able to feel. But I will tell you this, I’m excited for what’s next and I won’t stop working to see what my future looks like no matter what. Neither can you stop working? Even if you don’t know yet that’s ok.

Never stop working on you and never stop trying to improve and get better. The moment you stop doing that is the moment you start to settle. That’s when you start to fall off and slowly lose that drive and start to die.

2018 What A Year

2018 What A Year

Sitting here reflecting on the last year of my marriage celebrating our first anniversary last month. Its been a great year which started back in early January. It’s a new year. I wonder what God has planned for me this year. At this point in my life, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing or where I’m going in my life. I only know two things.

First, I leave for Europe in a few months backpacking for two weeks. Second, I’m going to the Outer Banks with my family for the first time. Other than that, I’m not sure what I’ll be doing this year.

That Was  A Good Day

February 11th, was when I met Lindsay for the first time. I went backpacking across Europe for two weeks and roughly two weeks later purposed to Lindsay. I went to the Outer Banks with my family. Then a month later I went to the Outer Banks with Lindsay’s family. I was lucky and went twice that summer. 2018 what a year so far and it’s only August.

A month and a half later I married my better half. It was a quick eight-month time frame from the first date to saying I do. Then two days later we went to Mexico for are a honeymoon for a week and it was beautiful. We had a room overlooking the water seeing the sunrise and sunset. It was beautiful, what an amazing resort. By far the best vacation I have ever been on.

76 days later after getting married, I published my first book. After living and doing the research and building my story for this book for 28 years. I have been writing and working on creating the book for over four years and bringing it to life. I can’t believe I’m married and I’m a published author now.

Me Vs My Insecurities

So that was a little background as to why 2018 was a great year. But it also shows you how blessed I am. But on the flip side, I still can’t believe all of what happened. It’s still amazing and crazy looking back a short time ago and seeing where I was.

Now I have an amazing wife and some days I feel with my insecurities I don’t deserve her. Lindsay hates hearing that. It’s a battle I constantly have between my ears.

Mind Games

At 29 this might surprise you but I don’t have everything figured out. Shocking I know. I’m still trying to figure it out and you know what I think I always will be. For my whole life and even dating Lindsay and the first eight months of our relationship to now. I never thought I was good enough for the world. I never thought Peter could go and accomplish anything special in the world.

Now when I was younger I knew I was different my learning disability and dyslexia made that clear. But in the back of my mind, I always felt like I was going to do something special, I just didn’t know what that was. It took years and years of living and going through the ups and downs of life. I was on my life rollercoaster seeing the world and trying to figure it out.

Look Out World

I still have my moments and I know I still have a problem. It’s sad I know and I don’t know how to shake it and overcome it if I’m being very honest. I feel like I still haven’t accomplished enough. It’s crazy, right? I went backpacking across Europe twice and have been to almost 15 countries in my life. I’m a happily married man and a two-time published author. The most recent book I published with my wife was number 1 on Amazon’s new releases in five different categories in the first two months.

Even with all of those things I still feel like I have a lot to prove. Now, who do I need to prove myself to? It’s not to the world, my wife or family. Don’t get me wrong I want them to be proud of me especially my wife. I want her to feel safe and know I’m trying to work hard for us and to have and build a great life together. But more importantly, I feel like I have a lot to prove to myself.

New Mindset

I wrote some goals down when I was 25. Read 100 books, publish three books, own my own business and a few others. I wasn’t always motivated and pushing myself this much. For a good chunk of my life, I was the complete opposite that’s the reason why I started these goals. It’s not to say look at me look at what I’ve done and all of that. I don’t care about that. It’s for my own personal growth and trying to get the best out of myself.

Look at everything I did in 2018. This also ties into the first year of my marriage. It truly was the best year of my life and I’m grateful for everything that happened good and bad.

Just Getting Started

But I’m not done yet I’m only getting started. That’s what I want you to get out of this. It’s not me bragging about what I did and where I went. I’m trying to share with you that yes take in what you accomplished and what you did that’s very important, that’s something I still struggle with. I’m always moving and ready for the next thing.

There is a saying. The talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. This is why I feel like I’m only getting started. There is more work to be done, more kids to connect with and a lot more goals to accomplish and pursue. It freaks me out sometimes but I never have been so excited to see what the years ahead look like.

My Obituary

Your Obituary

Thinking about my obituary is not fun, or should it be? If you’re at the end of your life and looking back at the last 70 or 80 years of your life what do you want to see? I’m guessing it’s something along the lines of success, accomplishments, family, hard worker things along that? Yes, those would be good, but what else do you want your obituary to say?

For me and what I think about my obituary, honestly, I don’t really care all that much. I only care about what my wife, family and the close people around me think of me. Do I want my life resume to say multiple times published author? Solid millions of books, fiction series turns into movie series. Do I want my writing career to be turned into my fulltime job and a hobby at the same time? Absolutely, that would be a dream come true. I want my wife to not have to worry about having to work overtime so we can make money. I want her right by my side working on this business with me.

Priorities

Getting married, becoming a father and publishing a book were my ultimate goals in life. They are still my top goals and priorities and they always will be. But I have been having this feeling in my gut over the last couple of years. I need to share my story, from what I went through over the years to what I’m doing now. What I did do is probably the craziest thing I ever imagined in my life up to this point at 29. I embraced my biggest weaknesses and imperfections about myself. Now I turned them around and sharing them with you.

I’m nobody special, I’m not a household name, I don’t ever want to be in the spotlight or “famous” I don’t care about that. What I do care about is making the most of the only life I was given. On top of that, a goal I have had for years is to try and make the world a better place than when it was when I was born into it. Now that’s no small goal, and if you have gotten to know me over the last few years I don’t have small goals. I have big goals, that for years it scared me to share them with people. Big goals that when I talk about them it freaks me out and makes me start to think if it’s even possible.

Possibilities

Maybe all of my goals won’t come true? But here’s the thing what if they do come true? I want to publish over 10 books in my life and have my fiction series get turned into movies. I want to sell over a million copies of my books. More importantly, like my dad told me years ago I want to impact a million people or kids and young adults.

I know I won’t be able to write my obituary and say hey Lindsay when I die I want it to say this. No, it doesn’t work like that, at least I don’t think? All I care about is what I do in the meantime leading up until my obituary is printed.

My Struggle

My focus and goal with my books, my blog, and speaking are very simple. I want to entertain and teach people either in person or through my books. If it’s my fiction series I want to entertain people and give them something that will help them escape a bad day or give them something they won’t want to put down. If it’s my memoir just because you think there is something wrong with you doesn’t always mean that it’s true. That might be your opinion but not the reality.

For most of my life, I HATED myself. The only thing I liked was I was athletic and I could make people laugh. For years and years, I thought is this all I’m good for? Then I read a book at 21 and everything started to change. I started writing, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I could write to myself about myself and I was able to embrace who I am. It wasn’t always easy and I had my bad days but it saved my life.

Still Going

That’s what I want to be remembered for. I don’t care what a stupid newspaper says about me or what’s printed. What matters is what I do why I’m still breathing and able to connect with people.

That’s how we should be looking at this. Not worrying about what the paper says. We should be worrying about what are life says and what we’re doing with it. I have goals and big plans. I’m a goal-oriented person, I need goals and direction and purpose to keep pushing me and to keep me going.

What Will You Do

That’s what I want to share with you now. Don’t focus on what doesn’t matter and what you want to be remembered for or what you want people to remember you by. Just focus on living your life doing the right thing and making a difference why you’re still able to. When it’s all said and done if you go about it the right way that’s all that matters and that’s how people will remember you.

I decided one day I couldn’t be controlled anymore by my Learning Disability and Dyslexia. Now I’m a two-time published author and sharing my unique story with the world and letting them know what it’s like living through my eyes.

You will find your way one day. It took me years and years and I never thought it would happen, but then it did. Sometimes it’s easier said than done. Be patient and never stop working every day. One day it will all make sense. Till that day comes, keep working hard every day and never quit.

First Year of Marriage

First Year of Marriage

I can’t believe I have been married for one year already. Not only that it’s been a busy first year. Lindsay and so many close friends have said we have done so much in the first year of marriage. Me, I think it’s been a great year, don’t get me wrong. But I think the Harrowers are only getting started.

Lindsay and I started talking online on January 26th, 2018. Our first date was February 11th. I popped the question June 9th and we got married on October 6th. I never thought this day would actually happen.

Then we went to Mexico for our honeymoon and it was beautiful. We spent a week in paradise, literally it was the best trip I and Lindsay have ever been on.

Goal #2

Exactly 76 days later after my number one goal in life was checked off. My number two goal in life got a checkmark. I published my first book. I spent over four years writing and working on this book. But really this book has been in the works from age six to 28 when I published it. The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes came to life and is now out there in the world. I’m a published author is this really happening?

My wife is now a published author and I’m a two-time published author. HOLD ON, back up. I’m married and now writing a book with my wife this is crazy and can’t be real? This is how my old self would look at this. So, what a bunch of people have published a book before? I still have this battle to this day and you can ask Lindsay. It’s still a struggle and still a huge dark cloud over me.

Team Effort

Even since I started writing in my early 20s I wanted to write a kid’s book, I just didn’t know what about. I know it’s a very hard and competitive category to write in I just needed the right story. Then I met Lindsay. She always wanted to share her and now my dog’s story. So around April of this year, that story started to come to life. The World Through Bella’s Eye’s is now available.

It’s not just another story that Lindsay and I wrote. This story was written and told by Bella. She tells the story and shares the story through her eyes to you. It’s a story about her journey and what she went through in her past to where she is now and everything she battled within that time. Beating cancer, being abused and left in the woods for three days and much more.

Dream Chaser 

Now my wife is a published author and doing something she never dreamed of doing. Myself, on the other hand, I published two books in less than nine months. If I look to my left where my desk is I can see my book and Bella’s book on the top of my bookcase. Sometimes I look at them and think those are cool covers. Wait those are my books, crap I wrote those. Well, Lindsay helped with Bella’s but you know what I mean.

Then I wonder how did I get here? Just a few short years ago I never thought I would be getting married. Still living in my parent’s house with a dry erase board filled with some goals and dreams. Now those dreams are slowly coming true. I’m at 77 books read and my goal is to get 100 by March 25th. I have published two books and I just need to publish one more to accomplish my two big goals by the time I’m 30.

Hard Work Pay’s Off

It wasn’t easy getting to this point. I never thought I would ever get to this point. Now that I’m here it almost seems to easy. Of course, it wasn’t that easy but looking back and reflecting. Look at what I’m doing, look at what Lindsay is doing? Look at what were both doing together now with are books?

I’m not saying what we’re doing is better than what you are doing. Please understand I’m not bragging and saying we’re better than you. All I’m saying is we’re all on different paths in our lives. There’s nothing wrong with that and that’s ok. All you need to worry about is your path and the journey you’re on. I just never thought this would happen. I always figured it would be a dream.

Perfect Combo

Was it worth all of the years being single and wondering if I will ever get married of course it was worth it? I never dated that much and the saying I would rather have loved and lost than never have loved always seemed so stupid to me. Thinking about it if you didn’t love then you wouldn’t be sad if something happened or you lost your spouse.

On the flip side if you didn’t love in the first place then you will never know what it was like to be so connected to another person’s heart and soul. Lindsay and I have been married for 382 days and we dated for eight months before that. But I swear we have known each other for years.

Don’t Stop Searching

Now I understand that phrase and you know what it’s true. The only reason I never understood that phrase was because I never loved someone and cared about someone before. If you ask me it’s worth the battle and the pain and suffering to find your soul mate. Some days I swear she knows me better than me.

After our first year of marriage, I can now say I would rather have loved and lost than never have loved before. If I never met Lindsay then I wouldn’t be where I am today. More importantly, I wouldn’t have had Lindsay by my side. If you ask me it’s worth it to keep searching and fighting for the one you love. Life is short, enjoy the time you have now because who knows how long till your time runs out.

After the first year of marriage, I’m excited for year two. Love you, babe.

Shopping Cart

Laziness

Yes, you read the title correct. Shopping cart, it will make sense soon enough. Lately, I have been struggling with this. Now I like to think I’m not a lazy person. Now, do I have my moments I just want to lay on the couch with my girl and dog and watch a movie or some football, of course? I won’t lie that sounds amazing.

For the most part, I don’t like lazy days or its hard for me to not want to keep moving and doing something active or productive. I think one of the main reasons is I work from home. Lindsay is out in the real world and out and about all day when she’s working. Its a completely different story and scenario, so I think that’s the difference between us. Now I’m not saying Lindsay is lazy of course, that’s not what I mean. She works very hard in her job. So somedays she wants to take it easy and just relax. I get that and completely understand.

The Right Thing

The reason why I brought up lazy is this. We live about five minutes away from Walmart. It’s very close and very convenient in case we need something and its also right next to my gym so it’s even easier. I can pick stuff up after working out if I need to. Lately, though I have been seeing it alot and it bothers me. I guess I never really thought about it that much till one day a few months ago I saw the President of 1stPhorm Sal, talk about it.

He talked about doing the small things in life. It doesn’t matter what your title is if you see trash you pick it up. If you see something that doesn’t belong you put it away. Again I’ve been seeing this alot but it never registered. But whenever I go to Walmart or leave. Have you ever noticed a random shopping cart next to polls or in parking spots? It might not be at Walmart but I’m sure it happens all over the place.

Perspective

Well, I think it’s safe to say, ladies and gentlemen. Those people that don’t take those carts back or put them back are really starting to bother me. Now I don’t know their situation maybe they are sick or missing a leg or something I don’t know. I get it, maybe it’s hard or you had a long day whatever the reason. I’m human I’m not heartless I understand.

But really think about it. If your to busy to take the extra couple of steps to take the cart back into the store or to the drop off point that’s probably closer to you then what are you doing wrong in your everyday life? If you’re that lazy that you can’t take the 30 seconds to put the cart back then what else are you skimping on in your life? What are you trying to take the shortcut from in your everyday living thinking it will help you get an edge over someone? In all reality its really hurting you in the long run and your future. It’s also kind of sad if you ask me.

The Easy Way

If you use that shopping cart metaphor for a second and look in your life what are you taking the easy approach to in your life? For me, it’s not making enough sales calls sometimes for my job. I get distracted sometimes working on other documents for clients and doing other stuff when thats something I could be doing at the end of the day. So what I need to do is get better with prioritizing. That goes with juggling everything with my writing career and sales job.

The flexibility I have with working from home makes it so easy to do both or go back and forth if something comes up. It’s not like I’m on the road traveling or don’t have regular access to a computer like I always do.

Listen & Learn

What I’m trying to explain is this. Do you have examples or certain things you do regularly that you know you shouldn’t do or maybe you should be doing? Now it happens I have some and look at the one I just gave you above. Now the next most important question you need to ask yourself is this. What are you doing about it? Are you trying to fix it or just brushing it under a rug and leaving it for later and hiding it from others?

Depending on how you answer those questions and what your actions are shows the kind of person you are and also what kind of work ethic you have. Now here’s the awesome thing, you still have time to fix it and do the right thing. Do you want to get better at your time management or your to-do list? Well, read about the successful people that have been doing that for years. Do the research and learn from others and see what works for them. What works for them might not work for you, but it could lead you to the thing that does.

What Will You Choose

Just because you were doing something in your past doesn’t mean that it controls you and your outcome for the rest of your life. Your past is over and yes you can’t do anything about that. But today is a new day and once you wake up you can decide what you want to do with what’s in front of you today. What is your mindset going to be happy or angry? Are you willing to put the shopping cart back even when you don’t feel like it? Or are you just going to take the easy approach and be average and leave it? The choice is yours and your mindset is what decides that.

Remember whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.

Aging = A Slow Death

My Purpose

So, I have some Fears, am I proud of them no of course not. Do I have a couple yes? But here’s the thing. I feel if you don’t have fears then you’re not living or pushing yourself enough in life. Right now, I’m going to focus on one fear and why aging = a slow death.

First, I know that sounds kind of dramatic, but stick with me. One of my biggest fears is getting older and not living up to my potential. But if I were to break it down its really two fears in one. Getting older and not feeling accomplished, like I didn’t do anything great or special with my life. I just lived and that’s it. God put me in every situation for a reason good or bad. If I don’t choose wisely or make the best decision then I failed to live up to his purpose and dreams that he had for Peter.

Work Everyday

I think some of those fears are pretty common and healthy. But just because you have those fears doesn’t give you an excuse to just live and go with the flow. You can’t just say I have these six fears or whatever the number it doesn’t matter. You actually have to do something about those fears and try and fix them and turn them around and get better. Just talking about them isn’t going to cut it you have to work on those fears.

At six years old I made a wish, but it was my first big mistake that I can never get back. Now I’m 29, all though I’m very happy and blessed and living a great life I feel like I still messed up when I was six. I wished to get older and graduate high school and move on to the real world.

Why can’t I get older and graduate now? Now I’m in middle school, awesome I have two more years in middle school then four in high school and I’m free. Wow, I can’t believe this is the first day of high school I’m so close to being done. Four more years and I’m free.

Now What

Graduation day comes and I didn’t feel excited really. I was excited about not going to school anymore and not having homework or have to study anymore. I was ecstatic about that, but everything else I wasn’t that excited.

My number one goal and priority is finally here and it’s not a big deal. I think because I realized I don’t know what the heck I’m doing next. I’m not going to college or military-like most of my friends. I was looking forward to being done with school and never going back.

I Was Wrong

Look I get it, aging = a slow death is dramatic but I wanted to get your attention. I’m still figuring out my place in this world and still searching for my purpose in the world. I was a late bloomer compared to some people in the world and that’s ok. Well, I can say it’s ok now, but it’s not fun when you’re going through that moment, it sucks I’ll say it. But now I have never felt more alive and more excited about my future.

The potential and the future that is in front of me is bigger than I ever expected. I never thought I would be in this situation that I am in. Well, I proved myself wrong, it seems like I have been proving myself wrong a lot lately. As much as I don’t like admitting I’m wrong, I was DEAD WRONG, and I’m so happy about that.

Top Three

My three biggest goals were to get married♠ publish a book♠ and become a father. Sorry, I couldn’t find a checkmark so a spade it is. The first two were always dreams and visions I had but never pictured they would become a reality. I pray and hope I will be a father one day but not yet, hopefully, someday soon.

Lindsay knows how much I love her and care about her. I know how lucky and blessed I am to have her in my life. I don’t say it enough and I’m sorry, babe I love you and I’m so grateful for you.

Make A Difference

Lindsay knows that I want more in life than the three goals above. Now those three goals especially Lindsay and my kids one day will always be at the top of my list always. Nothing could replace my wife and kids.

But I also believe that God put all of us here for a reason. He gave us all our strengths and weaknesses for a reason. I also believe he wants us to make a difference why we are here on earth. I believe he put on my heart to help kids all the way up to my age or older.

Negatives To Positives

Helping people could just be by me being a nice guy. Lending a hand or helping somebody out if they need help. Or sharing my crazy story with them. Me getting older and aging is a friendly reminder to keep kicking butt and pushing myself every day. I don’t want to play it safe on Earth. I WANT TO LIVE and enjoy this one and only life I was given. Why not live it up and make a difference and have fun along the way?

It might be different for you and that’s ok. But whatever you do, don’t get caught up in your fears. If you let your fears win then you lose, and your life is over. Use your fears as a positive to start living and pushing yourself. Once you recognize your human and you have faults and decide to turn them around into a positive. That my friends, that’s when you escape your fears and looking at life like aging = a slow death. Now you can start living and welcome what comes in front of you and not be scared.

A Fear For Me Part 2

Part 2

When I say all of this please understand me and what I’m trying to say. Lindsay my future kids and our family will always come first no matter what. But that feeling that has been forming in my gut from six years old to now hasn’t stopped. Always thinking I was going to accomplish and do something unique and special has never disappeared. 

I still feel that and I feel like I’m only begging and in the last few years, I feel like my life is only beginning and starting. When I say that I don’t want it to sound like I had a bad childhood that is far from the truth. I had an amazing childhood and blessed and lucky and more than I deserve. I have amazing parents that helped me whenever they could and did the best they could during my school years helping me with this learning disability and dyslexia I have.

She Can Read My Mind

This next part might bother some people and upset some. As much as I love Lindsay and I thank God for putting her in my life and I can’t say that enough. Even on the days we might argue or have a bad day or get upset. I want to give her the life that she deserves. But Lindsay knows my heart and I think knows me better than me most of the time. Which is scary because we haven’t known each other that long yet haha. We have only known each other for a little more than a year and a half.

Linsay knows what I struggle with every day. She knows the lack of confidence I have in myself and how hard I am on myself. Lindsay knows I’m a private person and it’s like pulling teeth trying to get me to open up sometimes. I’m a private person and the lies I told myself from a young age screwed me up. I never thought I would be good enough for the world and for a woman.

My Challenge

That’s why it’s hard for me to open up. It’s easy for me spilling out my emotions and writing them out like this. Writing with my heart and my head and having my hands put everything together for me on my blog is the easy part. But when it comes to me saying the words myself and speaking that way in front of people, it’s hard for me. 

I want more in life than being a good husband, father, son, brother, uncle, friend and whatever other words you can use. Those things are very important to me no question about it. But I truly believe God gave me this disability and dyslexia to do something positive with it.

Blamed The Wrong Person

For most of my life ages 6-25, I blamed God. I was jealous of people and of the world. I’m not smart like that person. I don’t have the bank account of that person and so on. Now from 25 maybe 26 to now I realized how wrong I was with my poor attitude and how I missed the big picture.

Getting diagnosed at age six, well I was a young kid when everything changed for me and when my struggles started to come alive. Now with going through school and battling everything I battled and struggled with. I now feel God put this disability on me for a reason now. What if instead of running from my weaknesses I embrace them? 

New Perspective

That’s when everything started to change. Now I want to help kids young adults and whoever needs help. My focus is on kids and young adults, but I’m 29 and an adult I still have my fair share of problems, we all do. 

Now I’m embracing my weaknesses and trying to turn them into positives and share that with the world and make a positive and healthy impact in the world. I want to leave the world a better place than when it was when I came into it. Is that going to be challenging ABSUTLEY is it going to be hard, of course. Will it suck somedays and I might question why am I doing this and am I doing the right thing? Yes, I might think that and wonder that maybe from time to time. But if I get an opportunity to help a young kid struggling in school or a 21-year-old struggling in life. Then I know I’m doing the right thing.

One Step At A Time

I’m not saying I’m going to change their lives or be the answer. If sharing my unique story helps and gives them a little motivation to keep going through the struggle. It makes them feel a little better. If I can tell them to embrace the suck and enjoy it because that pain and struggle they are going through right now will be the backbone that helps push them to be successful later in life then I’m going to open up and get out of my comfort zone because I feel it in my gut and in my heart that that’s why I was placed here on earth.

I feel if I don’t help enough people and open up more every day I’m falling.  I feel like I might be letting God down, Lindsay and you down but most of all myself. This wasn’t an overnight flip of a switch change in my life. Like everything it takes time and it wasn’t easy. It will take time and it won’t be easy for you either.

What Will You Do

No matter where you were at one point in your life. Whatever happened in your past doesn’t determine your future. Your life can change and it all starts with one decision.