My Faults

Definition

Faults, is an unattractive or unsatisfactory feature, especially in a piece of work or in a person’s character. Unfortunately, we all have them, things we don’t like about ourselves things we wish we could change or do differently. Well, that’s maybe what you’re thinking, not me, I’m what they call perfect and have no faults, unlike YOU, haha kidding. Well, that’s a lie, I’m just trying to be funny. Of course, I have my faults, I have a lot, that’s why I’m writing about it right now.

One of my worse faults, that really brings me down. Honestly, I think it has damaged me for so long because I have been doing it for so long. I’m so hard on myself and I’m such a tuff critic toward myself. On one side I expect perfection which isn’t the worse attitude I guess, but definitely not great. On the flip side, If I mess up or do something wrong, I’m so hard on myself. Calling myself names, Idiot, stupid, why did you say that or why didn’t you do this.

It Takes Time

I feel like I take it to another level, plus with me having that attitude and negative attitude toward myself for so many years now. Again establishing that mindset and demanding perfection at the young age of six and now being 27. You do the math, that is a long time of breaking myself down, day in and day out. As you can see It’s not something I can fix overnight or fix in a day or two. It will be hard, and it will certainly be a process.

Another fault of mine that I don’t like, Is I’m dyslexic and horrible at spelling, grammar, and a slow reader and everything along that. Hence the reason why I didn’t like school and why it wasn’t fun and affected me for so long. So yes if you’re wondering, I have written three books now with a combined total of roughly 250,000 words altogether. That is one of my many faults I have, and it bothers me every day and it’s something I have to deal with every day and the rest of my life.

Different

That’s why I’m a different person now, I have recognized my faults and weaknesses and are working to try and get better at them every day. That’s why I read so much now, that’s why I’m doing this blog, well one of the reasons. To show you that we’re all different, and we all have things about ourselves we don’t like.

If you read my posts and notice, maybe a misspelled word or punctuation or grammar is a little off. That’s because I want it to be real and not fake. I want you to know who I really am, and I’m trying to get better every day with my weaknesses and faults. If I had someone check my posts every time, then it would not be completely me, and I feel like I would be lying to you a little bit. When you read my posts and see the mistakes, and I’m sure there will be a lot, sorry. You know that I’m putting myself out there and trying to show you the real me and who I am.

Scary

Again it scares the crap out of me doing this, knowing what judgment might be coming my way and waiting for me. I want people to like me, I want to be everyone’s friend. Will, that happen of course not, you can’t please everybody? Why do we have to hate someone because they are different than us, why can’t we accept it? Maybe instead of hating or laughing at someone because they can’t do something or maybe aren’t as good as you in something. Maybe you should offer up your services to help them, help them get better and fix that weakness that’s holding them back from being a better version of themselves?

Looking at yourself now, standing in front of a full-length mirror of yourself. You can see your feet all the way to your head, what do you see? Are you proud of what you see? I’m not just talking your body, in general, I’m talking about all the above. Your attitude, your effort you give the world every day. Are you proud of it? Or are you embarrassed about the time you waste or the lack of effort you put in? I want you to actually try this, look at yourself in a mirror and seriously grade yourself. What do you see? If you don’t like the way your body looks, start eating right and working out. If you don’t like the effort that you have been putting in at work or every day, then fix it.

The Past

You can’t fix the past and what you did yesterday, last week, or even a year or two ago. That’s over you have to accept what you have done and what happened and move on. You are in the present, stop living in the past and start getting better now. Start preparing yourself for what’s to come and make your future better than your past. Time goes so fast, now is the time to start working and make yourself better.

Don’t waste any more time, decide to do it. Even if you’re scared or have a little fear and nervous about what you want to do. That’s normal if you’re nervous or have a little fear that’s good. Use that fear and nerves that you have, and flip it and turn it into something better. Stop wasting time, come up with a plan and make it happen. No more excuses, figure out the problem in front of you, conquer it and better yourself.