When you hear about a learning disability what do you think? Someone who struggles with school or they struggle with certain things in life and everyday living. Well if you thought that or Googled the definition that’s what you will see in front of you on a screen. Let me tell you what it really looks like inside the mind of an LD kid looks like.
Now I can’t speak for everybody with an LD but I have a feeling that I won’t be far off. This is what my every day looked like. First, why did God put this on me? Then I think how much of a loser am I going to be today? What am I going to screw up or get wrong in the hours ahead of me? Who am I going to disappoint and maybe loose hope and trust from? My family or friends the people I love and that mean the most to me perhaps?
Yes, it’s harsh but it’s the truth. I’m very negative. I have a horrible attitude sometimes. I’m my own worst enemy, and toughest critic and opponent every day. No matter what I do or who I’m going against either in sports or everyday life. No one will ever be tougher and harder to face then myself. Especially after I mess up or do something wrong.
Inside my mind is a constant battle every day. It doesn’t matter how much good or positive I might do in one day, week, or month whatever the time frame is. All I can think about is when I will screw up next and when my next failures are waiting for me around the corner.
My Future Success
Is this healthy absolutely not. Is this a good mindset and a good idea to think this way, absolutely not? Do I recommend people having a mindset and attitude like me absolutely? With all of my struggles and faults and personal imperfections, I carry with me every day or the rest of my life. At the end with all of my issues, that is why I’m going to win and succeed in life. I know what it’s like to feel like a loser and you will never be good enough. Why do you think I’m working so hard now?
I’m working this hard now to be able to provide for my wife and if I’m lucky enough my future kids. Yes, we all have our personal struggles and issues we might face in our life. Some are a short stint, some can be a lifetime. Just because I have been thinking this way the last 22 years of my life is exactly the reason why I’m going to win in life.
I might not go on to be a millionaire and buy all of these cool material items why I’m on earth. Sure, that would be awesome and fun, but that’s not why I’m doing this. Money and material objects will come and go in our life. But helping others and doing the right thing along the way and trying to better yourself and others around you that will go so much farther in life.
I have come a long way, not trying to pat myself on the shoulder. I never thought I would be a good husband or anyone would ever want to marry me. I just married my lioness on October 6th, 2018. I told myself I could never read for fun and have that be enjoyable when I was in school. In almost five years I have read 45 books.
What does a kid who can’t read fast, and who hates reading doing writing books? Well, I feel like I have something to share with the world. Yes, I’ll admit I wasn’t a born writer and gifted with reading like most authors ahead of me. But I believe I do have a gift of dreaming and being creative. If those were classes besides gym class those would be my best classes in school.
That’s why I have every reason to be a writer and that’s no reason to hold me back. I didn’t let my weaknesses hold me back and control me like they did for most of my life in my past. Well yes, they did control me, but only in the last few years I finally decided to start fighting back for the first time in my life.
My life has meaning now and after all this time I do have a purpose here on earth. My negative mindset in my earlier years was all a bunch of crap. This is for all of you people out there. Don’t you ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something? If you have a dream then don’t stop till you get there. You fight everyday day for it like it’s your last and hang on to it for dear life.
It might not seem like it right now and whatever situation you might be in. But that dream is giving you purpose and hope and the fight to keep going every day. Yes, it might seem impossible right now, but that’s because you just took the leap of faith and just started to pursue it. No matter what situation you’re in, or what you think you might have against you or holding you back.
You have to realize it’s not bad that’s waiting for you around the corner. It’s the good and endless opportunities that are waiting for you. That’s how you need to look at it. As you can see my attitude and mindset have completely changed. Yes, it took a long time to get here but you can do it. If I can do it so can you. You just need to take it one day at a time and one step at a time.