Time To Change
As I’m writing this right now and reflecting a little of where I am in this stage of my life. I’m overwhelmed with emotions and just everything all around me. On one side I’m beyond blessed, I have an amazing family. I’m getting married in 77 days. I know I’m very lucky and I’m excited about what’s next for me and for what God has planned for me. It wasn’t always that easy, I had to train my mind to think that way.
Now on the flip side. I’m also a little nervous with the field I’m trying to get in and what I’m trying to bring to life. I have this blog now that I’m sharing very personal and intimate details about me and my life. I’m a very private person, and I always kept to myself and have always been very cautious with who I talked to and who I open up with.
I can’t keep living a double life anymore. If I’m going to be 100% real with the world and try and share what I have learned with kids and help them. Well, then I have to be honest and have to be real and tell them who I am and how Peter really operates on a regular day.
This was never my goal to be this open and vulnerable right now. This was never my intention, using my blog and part of my first book as an open journal to share with the world. But that’s the direction I started heading with it and I just rolled with it. So that’s where we are right now, I’m trying to figure this out as I’m going through life. But that’s all of us, we all have our moments and ups and downs that’s what I’m working on right now.
That’s why I’m trying to train my mind toward what it is I want to do and accomplish right now in my life. Could I write a book? Yes, I have written three. How far could I take my blog? This is my 94th post and I have had over 3,000 views so far. I hate reading. I would cry when I was younger when I had to read because I was slow and didn’t understand what I read, It’s still a struggle sometimes. In the last four years, I have read 41 books and listened to 11 audiobooks.
With my mind made up about what I didn’t want to do, look at what I just did and accomplished? I’m now heading in the direction I was trying to avoid my whole life. I’m now reading and writing books and entering a field I never thought I belonged in. Now I feel like I have every right to be in this field.
Go All In
I have been saying for a long time, if I can do it you can do it and its true. I stopped using excuses and my weaknesses and decided to flip the script and decided to not use the cards I was dealt with as an excuse anymore. I’m committed to do something that’s bigger than me and be a part of something that’s more important than just Peter. I’m just a guy that got sick and tired of the lifestyle I was living and what I was doing with myself. I knew if I wanted a change in my life, then I had to commit and do something about it.
Training my mind and changing my view towards the world and my life was the first step I had to make. Even though that was the first step to make, and there will be plenty of steps after to make. The first step is always the hardest, at least for me that is. Your scared, shaking, nervous about what you’re trying to do and what you want to do. You’re probably debating should I go; can I really make this decision? What if it doesn’t work out or I fail? Well if it doesn’t work out and then you fail, that’s life. I have failed more than enough in my life. But that didn’t stop me. Sure, it slowed me down for a little bit being upset about whatever happened to me.
I Have A Purpose
Now with whatever happens in your life and whatever happens to you in your time why you’re on earth. You can’t use that as an excuse, and a cop out. For most of my life, I questioned and wondered why God created me and why he gave me my disability and faults? That’s probably normal to think that sometimes. But with thinking that, I easily could not have been here today. My mom had to have an emergency c section because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. My whole body was blue when I was born.
For years thinking about why God gave me these faults and my Learning Disability and almost blaming him. Another way I can look at it like my dad reminded me one day. I could have or should have died that day I was born 28 years ago? There’s another way to look at it, he wanted me to be here for a reason?
The Choice Is Yours
I never really thought about it like that before. Yes, if your wondering, parents do know what they are talking about sometimes as hard as that is to believe, haha just kidding. But he’s right, I could have easily died with lack of oxygen that day but I didn’t.
It’s a mindset and it’s not always easy but you have to train your mind sometimes. Who knows sometimes you might have to trick your mind as well if your plan is not working. Again, it’s all on how you see the world and what you want to see in YOUR world. You can train your mind to be positive or negative. You can train your mind to see the glass half full or half empty. The choice is yours and only you can decide that.