School was hell for me and it felt like I was in prison the whole time. I know that’s dramatic but it’s true. I’m not talking about my time with friends or sports. In this post, it’s about the learning side of it for me.
Imagine this for a minute. Think of something you’re not good at or don’t like doing? Imagine from k-12, as the subjects got harder and more homework and tests came along. My reading and writing level were always a couple of years behind everyone else and I struggled to advance with my grade.
Now put yourself in my shoes. I’m a senior it’s my last year of school. Everyone is happy and excited ready to be done and move on. For me, I was more focused on not having to read in front of everyone or spell anything or get called on during class. I wanted to hide in the corner when it came time for class. Because my levels were the same as a middle school kid, even though I was four plus years older.
Now at 18 years old, that doesn’t really help one’s confidence level if a 14-year-old has the same skills as me? Naturally, you can understand why I hated school and it didn’t do anything for me. Actually, it did a lot for me I was wrong. But what it did for me was not positive and the complete opposite of what teachers or my parents probably wanted for me. It taught me to hate and resent myself even more than I already have.
What I have learned from my years in school is absolutely NOTHING. Now that’s not a stab at schools it’s just my experience with it. What I have learned in the last four years alone has taught me way more than I ever learned in school.
With no college degree, and just sneaking by passing high school. I’m now starting to realize that I don’t need school or a degree to feel better or help me in life. I mean, of course, it doesn’t hurt especially if you have a certain career you’re in or chasing.
I’m not your typical student. I have never been like everyone else and I never will be like everyone else. I have always been different than everyone else and I always will be. I’m 28 now and I’m finally starting to recognize who I am and the kind of person I am.
All though I hated school and I didn’t get much out of it. I have never appreciated school so much in my life till right now at 28. I’m sure you weren’t expecting that haha. Because of my hatred toward school and not being good at school. With my disability, I have to read the same sentence or paragraph a few times if I get confused. Even to this day I still get pissed sometimes when I have to do that. Yes, I get upset but that’s just a weakness of mine and I have accepted it now. But it doesn’t mean I have to love it or be ok with it. That’s why I read so much now.
I have read 48 books in almost five years. Till the time I graduated you could probably count the number of books I read cover to cover on one hand. I don’t read for pleasure like some people, I still HATE reading. Well, I’m starting to get better with it haha. I know that might not make much sense with me finishing so many books now. Plus now writing so much and wanting to become an author and write for a career.
One Of A Kind
I know that’s, not your typical reasoning for wanting to read and write. But the reason why I read so much now and write so much now is because of my past. I’m doing it because reading no matter how slow I read or how much I still struggle with it, the pros will always outweigh the cons. That’s why I want to get better now, is because of my love-hate relationship with reading and writing.
That’s why I’m, not your typical writer and author. You know at 28, I’m finally figuring out who I am and the kind of person I am and turning into. I’m ok with that because I don’t want to be like every other blogger or author. I’m seeing the world from a different perspective than most people.
I Learned Alot
Yes, I’m a late bloomer and that’s ok because we all go through different challenges and situations. Don’t focus on the people to your left and right, only focus on your path and where you want to go. That’s why at 28 I have now realized how much I appreciated school and will always be thankful for my hard times and experiences.
Those hard times taught me the definition of work over the years. I always had to work harder than most people. I have been below average and an underdog all of my life. That’s why I’m going to be successful now. Not because I want to prove people wrong and brag and say look at me look at what I accomplished, that’s not it at all.
My Unique Way
I’m looking forward to sharing with the world that all my life I have been on the lower half of the scale. I have accepted that now and realize that’s just how it is. But what I can’t accept anymore is my attitude of just aiming for average like most of my early life.
Just because I sucked in school that doesn’t mean I can’t make a difference and help people in the world. That is the exact reason why I’m doing this now. I want to show people that it doesn’t matter what your weaknesses are. There is always another way and another approach you can take to better yourself. You just have to find a way and make it happen and go after it.