What To Do
What is worse, the pain of risk or regret? Now I’m no expert, but I think the answer should be obvious. Now just because it’s obvious, doesn’t always mean it’s the easiest answer to make. Some decisions are hard to make, some are a no-brainer.
Knowing when to make the tuff call, and take a leap of faith. That’s what I did a year ago, and still working on to this day. I’m pursuing something that for a long time, I didn’t think I had any business being a part of. But deep down in my gut, I had a feeling and it was the only decision to make. Last year I stepped down from a full-time position to part-time. I wanted more time to try and pursue a writing career. Was it risky and scary absolutely, but deep down I know it was the right decision?
Peter Harrower, was diagnosed with a Learning Disability and Dyslexia at the young age of six years old. From age 6-25 it has been a constant roller coaster in my life. Some days I was happy and high and loving life. On the other hand, and most days, I was as low as you can almost be. Hatting myself and who I was with this stupid disability. Feeling bad for myself and hating who I was, depressed and just miserable. With no care in the world for a long time, confused and lost going through life like a zombie.
Finally, when I was at my lowest and didn’t, think I could get any lower. Just four short months after my 25th birthday I ran into a brick wall. Not physically because that would really hurt haha. Well maybe that would have been easier and that would have woken me up faster haha. Mentally and in life, I just hit a brick wall.
It was time for a change, and fast. I decided to make that change and never look back, well not entirely. I look back occasionally to see how far I have come and to remind myself of who I used to be and the kind of person I used to be. I’m a whole new person now and have been for the last three years. I started writing more, and that hot summer day in July was the first day of my new life. I committed to making a legitimate run at becoming an author. With no direction on how to do that, but I was going to do it.
From last January to this day as I’m writing this, I do not officially have anything published yet. But yet I consider myself an author. To be fair and you might not even know it or have ever thought about it but were all authors. Were all authors of our life, and every day is a new page going in our book. Now I know that’s cheesy, but it’s true. No matter where you are in your life. No matter what obstacle you might be going through or hill your climbing at the moment.
Sometimes You Never Know
Every morning is a fresh start and a new opportunity to start living again. That’s why I dropped down to pursue this career. Did I know it would work out, no of course not I still don’t know if it will or not? But I do know I don’t want any regrets by the time I take my last breath in life. I knew if I didn’t pursue this opportunity that would be the biggest regret in my life. The pain of the regret I would have had would have been much worse then the pain of risk if I didn’t do this and give it my all.
Now I have my own website and have been blogging for a few months. I have had over 2,400 visits on my blog and 677 people visited my website within that time. If you Google my name, peterharrower.com is the first link that comes up. When I made my blog, I was on page six on Google. Now I get it, I’m not a household name and its only page one for my name. It’s not like I’m the number one blog for Learning Disabilities, at least not yet.
In the end, this is so much bigger than what I thought I could do and where I would be at this time. My books still aren’t published, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything yet. That’s just me being a tuff critic, I know I’m only begging. Here’s the kicker, I know I have a lot more to improve and a lot farther to go. That’s only making me work harder and stay focused on the task at hand.
My focus is not to have Peter Harrower be a household name and have the number one blog about learning disabilities. The point of this is to help people and kids just like me. That’s why I knew I had to take the risk and go all in.
Don’t Give Up
Life is short and it’s a beautiful gift that we ALL take advantage of some days. Why I’m still breathing and have the opportunity I’m trying to turn my life around and have a positive impact on people. Will it be easy, of course not and I wouldn’t want it to be? It’s going to be hard, and a long and bumpy ride and I’m ok with that. Because I know my past was building me to go down this path at this very moment.
That’s why I’m going to risk it all now, so in my future when I’m old and sitting in my rocking chair I can look back. Whether it’s good or bad and I make it as an author or not. I will be proud of the effort I gave. I took a leap of faith closed my eyes and went for it. Besides, it might work out, and you might land softly on your feet.