Ruts Are Killer

Stay Away

Ruts are killer and dangerous. They can ruin your life and hurt your goals and potential by doing the same thing dad after day, week after week. If you get caught up doing the same bad habits that aren’t going to help you in the world and help you grow to become a better person then no good can come from it.

I have been in a rut hundreds of times over the years and let me tell you they are not fun. Doing the same thing every day religiously can be very bad. Especially if you’re not in a good place or you’re not happy and feeling good about yourself.

Something New

I’m in a rut right now.  Now don’t get me wrong I’m very happy and blessed. But when I say rut what I’m really referencing is my workouts. I haven’t really been feeling it the last month, month and a half.

I know I need to shake it up, and shake it up I must. Now part of the reason why I haven’t been enjoying my workouts as much as I have in my past. Well, I want to write that’s all I want to do every morning. When I go to the gym after about 30 maybe 45 minutes I look at my watch and think I’ve done enough.

Not Always Bad

Now physically that’s not good because I’ve been slacking with my workouts and not pushing myself as hard as I know I could be and should be pushed. I love being challenged and I love sweating and feeling tired and good after a workout and proud of what I have done the last hour or however long. I haven’t felt that for a long time.

Now a plus with that and a good thing with that is I have been getting a lot more writing done on my books. So, it’s not a complete loss haha. I’m still very productive and always am every day. It’s just on the physical side, I haven’t pushed myself as hard as I should be.

Time for A Change

That’s why I’m starting a challenge tomorrow. It’s my 29th bday today, so I have one more day of freedom haha. I will be doing a challenge called #75Hard.

  • Work out twice a day for 45 minutes one workout must be outside
  • Drink a gallon of water a day
  • No cheat meals
  • No alcohol and I like my Merlot
  • Read 10 pages a day of a self-improving book
  • Progress pic daily

Will it be fun absolutely and I can’t wait. I wanted to start earlier but with my birthday I decided to do it after. Will it suck, probably, I have never done anything like this before. Is it going to be challenging absolutely, but that’s what I need? I need a good change of pace.

Early Bird

I started getting up earlier every morning to read a couple of pages in whatever book I’m reading. Then I work on my book till Lindsay wakes up. It ranges from 45 minutes to an hour in the morning and then I have breakfast and do my devotions. I feel better doing that because I don’t like sleeping in.

Getting up a little earlier helps me to accomplish a couple of things before the day really even starts. I think that’s a positive way to start the day doing a couple of productive things in the morning.

What About You

Are you in a rut? Now a rut could be anything. For me, it happens to be the gym. That’s why I’m happy I found this challenge and it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I needed something new and I needed to be tested, challenged especially mentally.

If you are in a rut, what is it? Do you know you’re in a rut and just lying to yourself and trying to hide it? That’s not good and will only hurt yourself down the road. For me, I knew I was in a rut for a while I just didn’t know what to do to mix it up.

Now thankfully I heard about this challenge from one of my favorite podcasts. That’s what you need is something to kick your butt to test you and push you. That’s where a lot of people get it wrong nowadays. They see something challenging or hard and just give up and don’t even try, that my friends is sad.

A Much Needed Change

I have dealt with a lot of challenges over the years, realistically I’m sure we all have. Well if you haven’t had any challenges or struggles or any setbacks, then honestly what are you doing with yourself and your life? That’s how you grow and that’s how you find yourself and see what you’re made of.

It took me a long time to realize that. If I want to better myself and challenge myself then I need to do the things I’m not good at. From a young age, I always thought that was a stupid mindset. Well, as I got older I started to pick up and follow that stupid mindset and challenge myself.

Weaknesses to Strengths

Now, look at me. I have been married for almost six months. It’s crazy how fast that’s going already. I’m a published author and working on finishing four more books currently. The goal is to get one if not two hopefully done later this year.

Challenges are what makes you. Your struggles are how you find what you’re capable of. Ruts on the other hand that’s what kills you and your dreams and goals. When you start to recognize you’re not happy and doing the same thing over and over. Take a step back and look at what you’re doing.

If you’re in a rut then change it right away. If you don’t then you will be holding yourself from your potential growth and preventing yourself from getting to where you were ultimately supposed to be. That is a big loss and a big mistake. That my friends is a wasted life.

Passion vs Profits

The Battle

For years even when I was in middle school and high school I always thought profits and money were all that mattered. If you had money then you would be considered successful and you made it in life. A couple of years ago I realized how wrong that mindset of mine was and how it made me focus on the wrong thing. The battle of passion vs profits begins.

As a Christian, I always struggled with money and focusing on the right thing from a young age. It’s wrong to have money and be wealthy, that means you’re not focusing on the right things. I realized that is the wrong attitude towards money.

I had it all wrong. There is nothing wrong with money and nothing wrong with having a lot of it. Now it’s what we do with the profits and what we spend it on or how we get money is what might be questionable.

Storyteller

When I first started working on my first book I thought to myself. Alright, I’m going to be an author create books for people and to help them escape from the real world and fall into this made up world I created for them. I read an article about Tom Clancy a couple of days ago and loved what he said.

I told stories to take people away from driving trucks or fixing toilets or whatever they do.

Before that sentence, he considered himself a storyteller, not a writer. Now yes, I call myself a writer now because I am. I write books and blog posts now. But what got me into writing was creating something bigger than Peter.

What didn’t get me into writing was money. Yes, I know the money could possibly be endless with writing. If I write a good book and people like it well then, more people will buy it. Seems pretty straight forward haha. Now I wanted to write a good book that has a good story that people can enjoy, that’s obvious. What I didn’t want is to write a good book that people enjoy and want to read to fill my own pockets.

My Goal

It’s crazy how things change in a short amount of time. When I was younger I was searching for money and trying to make a lot of it. Now that I’m entering this new field and world I’m in the money is endless and it doesn’t drive me. Don’t get me wrong, a goal of mine is to be able to do this full time and have writing books and speaking my full-time job. That is still a big goal for me that I’m working on and trying to accomplish.

A goal of mine that I made at 25 was to sell a million copies of my book in my life. Now if I published a book and charged it $9.99 and I only get $1 of commission for each book sold. I would have still ended up with a million books sold and earned, how cool is that?

New Mindset

My dad said one day when he saw this goal in my room on my dry erase board. Pete, with what your trying to do with your books and help kids and young adults. Maybe you shouldn’t focus on selling a million copies. Maybe you should focus on reaching a million people? He then dropped the mic and left my room. It was crazy, where did he even get a mic? Ok, I lied about the mic part haha.

Ever sense he said that it completely changed my mindset. Money is not why I wanted to be a writer to sell books as a business and make as much money as possible. Writing and storytelling is what got me started. That’s where my hunger came from with wanting to pursue this new opportunity and passion of mine.

My Imagination

Sometimes when you start something new, I’m guessing you never thought crap, I wish I would have done things differently? No, that thought probably never crossed your mind haha. That’s when everything changed for me. Realizing my original goal and what I did. I quickly changed my goal on my board, and that quickly changed my mindset and work ethic.

Now do I want my books to sell, well yes, of course, I won’t deny that or lie about it. But the reason why I want my books to sell now is to be able to reach people with my words and stories. I want my imagination to grab their attention and see what I have created. That’s more important to me now than what’s in their pockets to pay for my books.

My Journey

Starting out I might have been a little more focused on the money side. Because starting out this isn’t a cheap hobby haha. I know once I make some money and reimburse Lindsay and myself with the money we put into starting this journey. When we become even it will change again, but for the better.

Don’t be afraid to admit you made a mistake. It’s ok to say that your original goal needs changed and fixed. I recognized my mistake and I changed it and edited it and fixed my problem. I’m ok with that and I feel much better about what I did and the changes I have made.

Now, will it always be that easy or simple no, of course not. Will it take time and some adjustments, well yes of course but that’s ok. What’s most important is you find something more important than profits? What I found was a passion  and purpose. Now I believe writing and my unique story is going to lead me into what I was ultimately put here to do and created to do. Will it be hard? Absolutely, it already is, but that’s all part of my unique journey that I’m on every day.

What You Say You Are

Not Good

Over the years I have developed a lot of bad habits. Some of those habits are, lacking confidence, thinking I’m a loser. Who would ever want to marry me? Always thinking I was stupid, you name it and I thought it. I learned from a young age what you say to yourself you are. What I have been saying to myself for most of my life was not good.

I never believed in myself from a young age and always thought I was a bum, and couldn’t accomplish anything without other people helping me. I always knew with my learning disability that was going to hold me back one day I just didn’t know how bad it would have been or how much of an impact it actually would have had on myself. Well let me tell you I was wrong and I completely miss judged that scenario haha.

Not Happening

At this point in my life, I never thought I would be in this situation that I’m in. This life I wake up to every day was always a dream, and I never thought I would have it. I know its wrong and not healthy and I know I need to fix it if I want to be happy and have a healthy life.

Having this heavy burden of thinking I was a mistake when God created me. Well, it’s not healthy and not good. From a young age, I always wanted to escape this pain I was putting myself through. I always thought I would die at a young age because of stress. For most of my life, I have always been my worst enemy and still struggle with this to this day sometimes.

What Do I Have

I know that mindset is wrong and again not healthy. I have so many amazing people around me and I’m truly blessed and I mean that I’m very lucky. But I have been broken for so long and still have my moments to this day.

I have been telling myself for a long time I don’t deserve Lindsay and I always think to myself why is she with me? Naturally, she doesn’t like hearing this haha. She has a successful career that she has been in for years and has a house, dog, and cats before I was even in the picture.

My Issues

I was living with my parents, no college degree and jumped from job to job trying to find my career and purpose. All I could think about is why me, what can I do for her? With my side effects and personal issues that I battle every day. Most people’s issues or problems they come across might be in there daily living. For me, that battle is inside my head daily.

That’s why it’s so important what you feed yourself daily. All I ever wanted was to be used for something positive and fulfill my destiny and purpose in life. I just didn’t know what that was. My whole life, I kept to myself because of embarrassment and being ashamed of my LD. That messed me up from a young age.   

Look What You Can Do

Now, look at what I accomplished in the last seven years. I published a book and written and finished two other books. I’m in the rough draft stage of two more books. I have read over 55 books in a little over five years.

I’ll be honest I still don’t like reading and it’s still a struggle to this day. What I do like is finding out people’s story and where they came from and seeing what they accomplished.

Yes, I still have a lot of personal baggage and personal battles I’m still facing and trying to overcome at this moment. I’m stubborn and used my sarcasm and humor as a shield and a mask ever since I could remember. Seeing people laugh or helping make them laugh always made me happier because if they were happier than they would be less likely being down or upset like I was.

One Opportunity

In the end, I wouldn’t change a thing. We are only given one life and one chance to live. This was all put in front of me for a reason. I wouldn’t get rid of my LD because of the hard times I had. That helped turn me into the person I was always meant to become.

I’ve turned my biggest weakness into a new opportunity in life. I was scared of reading and writing for most of my life and now I’m trying to enter that field as my future career. What does that tell you? I’m very stubborn or crazy haha, news flash, I’m both.

That stubbornness of mine is what helped form me into who I am today. I’m not a quitter anymore like I once was. I do have a purpose and I was created for a reason. All of those lies I have been feeding myself my whole life was just that, LIES.

Healthy Thoughts

It’s time I stop listening to my brain that I’m still fighting and battling with daily. Now is the time I start listening to my heart and doing the things I want to do. I want to write books and help young people. I don’t have a college degree and I just squeaked by graduating from high school. Up till the time when I met Lindsay, I didn’t know if I had a future. The moment we met was the moment my life changed.

Now I want to help YOU. I’m not saying I have all the answers or I am the answer. All I’m trying to do and share with you is embrace YOU. You don’t have to hide anymore. If I can do it, so can you and If I can find happiness and love with how broken I was for so long, so can you. If I can feel purpose and meaning in my life for the first time, so can you and I believe I can help.

Just Being Me

It Will Happen

Just being me is a line from one of my favorite artists NF. I’d rather die than let this dream go to waste. You can tell that I ain’t playin’ by the look up on my face.

Whenever I hear this line, I always think back to when I told Lindsay for the first time what I wanted to do with my writing. I didn’t know it at the time but a couple of weeks later she told me what she thought. She knew how serious I was with the look on my face when I was telling her about my books and what I want to do.

Roll With It

From a young age, I wanted to make a difference and I always thought and believed that I would do something special and unique. The only problem was I didn’t know what that was haha. I knew with my disability that I saw the world differently than most. I knew my views and outlook towards the world are not like others and that’s ok. Well, now its ok at 28 saying that. I didn’t like it when I was younger.

Now just like NF said I’m Just Being Me and I’m ok with that. I’m different than most, I have a unique story compared to most. Now do I have days I get upset or mad when I don’t know what a word means or how to spell a certain word for example. Yes, I do, it sucks and I hate that moment that I’m in when I have to ask my wife or someone around me. It’s embarrassing, but this is just who I am and one of the issues I have to deal with and battle every day.

Embrace It

I’m not proud of that part with my disability but I guess in order to take the good you have to take the bad sometimes with it. Well, that’s my bad. When it comes to school I’m not on the same level as most. I am and will always be four or five grade levels behind everyone if not more.

Yes, that sucks and it’s embarrassing. But what helps me to feel better and make me get over my faults and those embarrassing moments of mine. Is that I’m not putting my weaknesses behind me like I once did when I was younger. I’m now embracing them and using them to help others and make a difference.

Slow Down

I never liked being a burden on others around me like my family or wife for example. I never wanted to be the one to slow somebody down in life. For years I wanted to die and end my life to take away the pain and to help escape from it. Now I realized how wrong that is. I don’t want to escape the pain anymore. I welcome it because I now believe God made me this way for a reason and put everything on me for a reason.

Personally, if you ask me, getting old still kind of freaks me out a little bit. Because time is going so fast. I’ll be 29 in a month. This May will be 11 years from when I graduated. In case you haven’t noticed people, time isn’t slowing down for us.

My True Intentions

I don’t want to be 80 years old or whatever the age and be a burden on my wife or family or hopefully future kids. To me by the time I get to 80 I want to look back and be proud and smile at what I have done and the impact I hopefully have on people. Do I need to be worth a million dollars or more, no, of course not? Do I need to be recognized around the world or the community for what I’m doing no?

The main people that I want to see what I’m trying to do and share from my heart, not my ego. Is my wife, family, and God? Because those are the most important people to me.

I want to make up for the time I lost when I was younger. I want to help the younger kids coming up and going through the fight and the struggles like I was going through a short time ago. I want to help them and be there for them if they need someone to talk to. That’s why I’m still blogging and trying to give you all the material you need.

Checked Off

I want to speak and share my unique story with kids around the world and share with them what I have learned in the last 10 years alone. I want them to know its ok to be different and different is not always a bad thing. Embrace being different and embrace who you are. Besides once you are ok with what you can do and can’t do that’s when life starts to become more fun and more enjoyable.

I dreamed and prayed for years that I would become a published author and get married. In a matter of 76 days, I check off both of those goals at the end of 2018. I was created for something special and it was just my mind telling me and filling me with those lies for years.

My Reason

I now recognized that and that’s what I want to share with YOU. Do I need to sell millions of books no? Do I need the publishing deal and the recognition no? I don’t need the fame or the money to feel like I accomplished something.

The reason how I’m going to know if I’m making a difference in people’s lives and getting through to them. Is if they were scared of something and now pursuing it like I am. They got out of there comfort zone and trying new things now and pursuing new opportunities in life and what’s ahead of them.

86,400 Seconds In A Day

Eye Opener

When you wake up every morning what do you think to yourself? Crap I have to get up. I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to do this or that. Whatever your reason is it doesn’t matter. You have 86,400 seconds a day and what you do with that time will be gone at the end of the day and you can never get it back.

The other week I was in a little funk for a couple of days and depressed a little bit. I think the main reason why is because I just published my book a little over a month ago. Which is still weird saying that. But yet at the same time, it’s pretty freaking sweet haha.

I worked on that book for 12 and a half days of my life in the last four years. Now like that I’m done with the writing and formatting and bringing that book to life. Now I’m in a different phase with it.

Amazing Support

I have sold over 50 books which is pretty crazy thinking about that still. I’ll be grateful for every book I ever sell, I know it will always be a blessing. But I know it’s not enough. I knew this was going to be a hard business to get into.

I’m beyond grateful that I have my wife and so many amazing people around me cheering me on and helping me achieve and do what I’m trying to do. I also put a lot of pressure on myself and sometimes, ok most of the time I over think things. I focus too much on the end goal and I miss the moment I’m in.

I’m Blessed

I was so focused on trying to sell my books and to share my story with people. Get on podcasts and do whatever I need to do, that I forgot one important detail. I forgot to enjoy what I accomplished and take in what I did and how rare it is to publish a book.

That’s where I am now. Every morning God wakes me up and I’m able to get out of bed is a blessing. Now every full day I see from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to sleep I should take that as a gift and a blessing. Because not everybody wakes up.

Yes, I might be a little stressed right now trying to figure out my website, selling my book and promoting it. Trying to turn a hobby into an actual business now.

Don’t Stop

I know in this funk I haven’t enjoyed those 86,400 seconds like I know I should. Now, will I always enjoy every second of course not? I will have good days and bad. I know I need to get back to where I was and where I know I should be. Enjoying my new life I entered in only a couple months ago.

I’m happily married. I’m now a published author. I have the opportunity to turn my dreams into a reality. How awesome is that? Now when I’m given the opportunity I need to make the most of it.

If they can’t see the passion and how serious I am in my voice or on my face then I messed up and failed. Yes, is this going to be fun absolutely, well I hope haha? Will I be terrified or freaked out if I talk to a group of people about my story or book? Yes, it will freak me out. But I didn’t say I won’t do it.

I Want To Help

Yes, it will scare me, but it’s because I care and I want to help people now. I’m an introvert at heart. My past, how can I say this? Well, it screwed me up. My battle that I have every single day between my ears the last 20+ years of my life has truly put a number on me and kept me down a long time.

I’m just being honest. I was broken for a long time, I didn’t think there was any light for me at the end of the tunnel. I always believed I was meant for something special. But in all reality, I always thought I was just blowing smoke and just hoping for something special to happen for me.

I Woke Up

Well, news flash people, that something special happened and it didn’t happen when I published my book. It didn’t happen when I married Lindsay, all though that truly was amazing and a blessing. That special moment happened when I stopped feeding myself lies every day and decided to make a change.

I decided to stop all of the lies and thinking I was a mistake that slipped through the cracks when God created me. The moment I realized I was created for a purpose, is the moment when I started to live again and taste purpose for the first time. Publishing my book and marrying Lindsay were my top two goals. But what woke me up is that one day everything came together I finally decide to change my life and make something of the remaining seconds I have left.

Start Living

I stopped worrying about the seconds I lost with all of the days and years behind me and started focusing on the new seconds that are waiting for me. There are a lot of people that I truly think my story could benefit them. Now, will it change their life, maybe, I don’t know? That’s not for me to decide that’s for that person to decide.

I don’t know how many seconds I have remaining. But I do know with my new mindset I never wanted to start living more than I do now. That’s why everything happens for a reason. This disability God gave me, I now feel like I’m using it the way he always intended. Sharing my unique story and helping kids and young adults to start living for the first time.

Dream Chaser vs Dreamer

Dreamer

If you asked me when I was back in high school or a little younger what a dreamer was. I would have said somebody who has a dream or goal they want to pursue or accomplish in their life. Something big they want to do to feel an achievement or proud of themselves for pursuing something bigger. Now I’m going to tell you why a dream chaser is way better than a dreamer.

Here we are 2019. I’ll be 29 at the end of March. I’ve been married for a couple of months. My new book has been out for over a month, it’s still crazy saying that haha and probably always will be.

Dream Chaser

If you asked me the same question when I was around 21 or 22. I would have told you something completely different than just a couple of years before. I have been writing for over a year, and I know what my dreams are. To get married, which I never thought that would happen. Publish a book and share my story with the world and make a difference by helping people.

Well, first things first. I have been married for a couple of months. This time last year I was single and just starting to talk to Lindsay for the first time. I never pictured where I would be today. Now I’m happily married, one goal and dream done♠ (I couldn’t find a check mark, so a spade it is haha.)

Keep Going

Next publishing a book. What a kid with an LD and dyslexia how can he publish a book? Well if you were thinking that, or you weren’t. Just pretend you were please so I can answer that question. The answer is this guy with the LD and dyslexia. Or another way you can answer it is, so can YOU.

For years I never thought I could accomplish anything with this baggage over me and weighing me down in life. Until I finally realized a couple of years ago, how stupid and wrong that is. Just because I read slow and not good with spelling and grammar and everything else in school. That doesn’t mean I can’t write a book. I could have some awesome book ideas, but I just need help with the editing.

More To Come

Personally, I do feel like I have a lot of good ideas. Also, I think I’m a pretty good writer. By writer, I mean coming up with different ideas and using my imagination. As far as the editing and grammar and punctuation side of it, well let’s just move on, it will be easier haha.

Now, look where we are. I published my first book♠. I have written three other books. I have a couple more books that I know I want to write at some point.  Now I’m just trying to enjoy the ride and take in what I accomplished.

A Little Hard Work

I can finally tell people I’m not just a dreamer anymore like most of the world. Now, this isn’t a shot at them or a negative statement at them it’s just my opinion and an observation. I used to be just a dreamer. Now it’s amazing if you switch some things around and change a little of this and that, look at what can happen? You become what you have been searching for a dream chaser, and now you’re no longer a dreamer.

As much as I prayed and hoped I could publish a book. A small percent of me never thought it would actually happen, as sad as that is. It took a lot longer than I would have liked and I was expecting. But now that I went through it and saw what I battled to get to where I am now holding my book that I brought to life. I know first-hand that with a little hard work, anything is possible.

It’s Possible

A dyslexic kid becoming an author is that possible? A girl taking a chance on a guy who was broken for so long and needed a lot of help and giving him hope is that possible? A guy who hated his life for years. A guy who never thought he could accomplish anything or be successful in life. Can now officially share with the world that he crossed off his top two goals in a three-month span. So, can you?

All you have to do is keep working and keep going. I’m here to tell you that you can do it. Yes, I know as lame as that might sound haha. Ohh sure you can do this or that or whatever it is you want to do. But it’s true, accomplishing these two dreams and goals of mine, has given me more hope and purpose than I ever imagined.

Focused

I found a woman to love me for me no matter what I struggle with or am not good at. I turned a weakness of mine and a lot of stuff I’m not good at or struggle with daily into something positive hoping to make a difference in people’s lives.

Do I have my off days and not feeling up to it or proud of what I’m trying to do? Of course, and most likely I will always have days like that. But in the end what brings me back to reality is what I have in front of me and what I can touch and see in front of me now.

Keep Going

What I saw was hope and purpose. I feel more alive than I ever did. Now if my book, blog or story doesn’t make as big of an impact as I thought it would. Well that will be unfortunate and maybe it wasn’t meant to be, but at least I tried my best and gave it my all. I didn’t just stop and take in what I accomplished and smiled. Yes, I enjoyed it and I’m still enjoying it. But I kept working and I didn’t give up.

Embrace your unique story and share it with the world

Take In What You Accomplished

The Struggle

Every now and then I think it’s important that we take in what you accomplished. Not in an, I’m better than you kind of way. It’s more of a reality check and a refresher you could say. Thinking wow did I really do that? Thinking to yourself how crazy it is as you smile thinking of what you just accomplished now.

For me, there’s a lot to look back on and take a second and think to myself. I have written four books in seven years and read 52 books in five years. I started my own website and have been blogging for almost two years. I’m starting to come out of my comfort zone and safe zone and sharing with the world a day in the life of an LD kid.

Opening Up

Sharing my story and my background with my disability throughout my life was not easy to do. Honestly, I did not want to do this. I was very hesitant and scared to do it. Scared is an understatement, I was freaking out and it scared the crap out of me.

My disability has turned me into an introvert from a young age. Yes, I have some extrovert qualities but at the end of the day, I’m an introvert. I decided as I was journaling about my life and experience in Peru over four years ago. I should turn this into something. My book was born and here we are over four years later. Honestly, I was more scared about publishing my book and blog then I was purposing to Lindsay and on our wedding day as funny as that is.

When I made my website go live and I told people at that time almost two years ago that was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. Now when I upload my book to Amazon that was the new scariest thing I have ever done in my life. Yes, it freaks me out, but I’m also excited and pumped for people to read my story.

I’m Different

Now when I say my story I’m not saying my story is better or more interesting than yours. Well in all reality it probably is HAHA just kidding. My story is just different and unique just like yours. We all have a unique story and it’s all a one of a kind. I’m just excited finally to share my faults and issues with the world and try and turn those negatives and burdens I have into positives.

Taking a second and looking back at what I have done. I sucked in school just snuck by with a C and D average if I was lucky. Struggling in life searching for meaning or purpose. Battling the ups and the downs of the world.

New Me

It’s 2019 I’m married to the love of my life. I have a house, a dog and a cat. This dyslexic what started out as a young boy to now 28 is now a published author. How cool is that? I took a weakness that I sucked at in school and was not fast or good with reading or writing. School was hell for me for my whole life. I have said it before school felt like a prison for me. Doing the same thing every day for years. Having the same negative attuited and mindset through every grade. I suck at school I’m not smart I’m stupid what’s the point?

With all of the issues I have, somehow someway I managed to turn my life around and pursued the one thing that scared me the most in my life. Pursue and chase my now dream career of becoming an author and sharing my personal story with the world. How funny is that?

My Calling

I tried avoiding reading and writing for as long as I could. In that time frame, it was like pulling teeth trying to get me to read and write. Now I have written four books totaling over 200,000 words. I have read 52 books in five years. This will be my 113 blog post. All of those posts I shoot for no more than 1,000 words per post. Now writing 1,000 words is a breeze for me. Even if I don’t have a topic I just start typing and go with the flow. That’s how I do my posts most of the time. Once I figure out my topic I don’t plan anything out. I just think about that topic, write and go.

The reason why this post is so personal for me is I still struggle with this to this day. Yes, I have done a lot in the last couple of years and or working on a lot also. It’s because I felt like I wasted so much time in my earlier years. Yes I know I was a kid and in my earlier 20’s trying to find myself and figure out what’s next. Even going through school, I used my LD as a get out of jail free card and treated it like I had a free pass to graduate. I now realized how lazy I was at times and now I know what I did wrong. That’s why I’m working so hard to make up for the time I lost.

Don’t Stop

I have a lot of big things I want to accomplish. I can’t slow down anymore and just try and sneak by like the old days. I’m dreaming big and whatever comes my way now I want to tackle it head on and not be afraid anymore like my past.

There’s no more coasting anymore. I have more books to publish and more books to write. There are millions of kids and young adults just like me. I think they need to hear my story. Not to impress them or say look at me. They need to know and finally understand what they are truly capable of doing themselves. Seeing what I did or am doing will hopefully be used as there guidance and help if they need it.

Face Your Fear

Chapter 5

If you want to grow in life one of the ways I believe to do that is to face your fears. Now I had a lot of fears growing up. I’m not proud of that but what can I say, I was damaged at a young age and that was holding me back from really living and seeing life the way I see it now. One of my many fears was myself. Again, I hated myself for a long time and struggled with that for years. I never thought I was good enough.

Some time went by and I realized I can’t hide anymore. I believe that I have a unique story so why not do something with it. That’s when I decide to write The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes. I realized in the summer of 2014 It is time to share my story with the world. But there was one little problem with that. I didn’t want to share my story with the world and it scared the crap out of me. At the time that was probably one of the scariest things to me that I was doing. Letting YOU into my daily life and showing you what my world looks like regularly.

Look At The Positive

When I shared my blog for the first time and made it live. At the time that was probably the scariest thing, I have ever done. With doing that people are going to know your faults and what you’re not good at? How much anger you have inside of you how dark you were for a long time. All of the bad and negative stuff you were battling for years and that you were trying to hide from everybody.

Naturally that all crossed my mind thinking about that. Before I hit send to tell everyone on Facebook and Instagram what I was doing. As funny as it sounds I had to wait for a second or two and take it all in. Peter, I don’t think you understand the kind of backlash and the negative effect that might follow after doing this? But on the positive side, with me opening up more about it. Look at all of the good I can do with sharing my unique story with the world? This was a legitimate conversation and fear I had before I made my website live.

My Emotion

What if 50% or 60% of the people that read my blog posts or my book don’t believe me. Well, that will be too bad because I guess reading my content they can’t see the passion and the emotion that I’m spilling onto the paper in front of them. They will never understand what my life is like on a daily basis. They could never understand how embarrassing it was reading in front of my class in school. Not being able to read fast or spell words correctly. Or worse knowing that a kid four or five years younger or more are probably smarter than me.

If they can’t see how hard that is as a 28-year-old man, then maybe I’m not supposed to be writing anymore. Maybe I did something wrong with trying to share with the world that its ok if you’re not good at something.

The Smaller Percentage

Now, what if I’m able to connect with the remaining percentage of the people that understand my stuff? Connecting with the other 50% or 40% of the people that get what I’m trying to do and share with the world? It’s not about the money. It’s not about the fame and the recognition. I HATE being the center of attention. I’m not that confident in myself and still struggle with that. I realized that sharing my story that more good could come from it than bad.

Like I referenced in my book. If sacrificing myself to the wolves by sharing my inner darkest secrets and my side effects and what I struggle with every day. Then so be it who cares what the other percentage thinks of me and says. I’m not doing this for them.

My Purpose

What started this passion is I think I found something that I’m good at. Being very creative and writing stories and making stories up from the top of my head. I don’t need notes or an outline I’m different then most authors, I think I have made that clear by now haha. Once I figure out what topic I’m writing about, I go to work.

I let my mind take over and let my hands do the work. I put my headphones in listening to my music and could write for hours a day. What started out as a hobby, quickly turned into an obsession. Now I’m starting to turn my obsession into my future career.

Writing and doing what I’m doing now has given me purpose. Sharing my crazy story with the world with wanting to do some good with it for a change and helping kids like myself is all I want. To write full time as my career and help kids like myself. I know what that struggle is like. Not believing in yourself, lacking confidence or finding purpose.

Go All In

That was me every day for most of my life, till four years ago it changed. I decide I’m going all in I’m not trying I’m DOING this writing as a career. It might not happen in the next couple of years. Maybe it won’t happen till I’m 30 but I can’t give up now. I strongly believe God put this on my heart for a reason. I can’t stop now I’m only getting started.

Don’t be scared, believe in yourself. I didn’t fully believe in myself from a young age. But I was still doing it because it takes time and you have to be patient another thing I struggle with. Do the work take a chance and enjoy the ride. You only get one life, why not roll the dice and go all in for what you want to do?

298 Hours Till Completion

Number 1 Goal

If you would have told me back in August 2014 that all I would have to do is work for a total of 298 hours and I will publish my book. I probably would have laughed at you. That is almost 12 and a half days of my life I worked on this book. Who would have thought only 298 hours till the completion of my book and I would become a published author?

I’ve been dreaming of this day for over seven years. Now that it’s finally here it feels surreal and hasn’t really kicked in yet. You have to understand over four years this book has been in the back of my head taunting me for that time. Wondering if I will ever publish it and share it with the world. Thinking sometimes it’s going to be a bust and I won’t sell any copies or help anybody. Thinking I will chalk it up as another failure for Peter.

Between My Ears

Yes, it can be very draining living inside of my mind. I don’t want to be this way, I don’t want to be this negative or this down all of the time. It’s a consistent game I’m playing all of the time. It’s like tennis going back and forth with positive vs negative.

Even if this book would have taken 1,000 hours I wouldn’t have cared. If the average book from start to finish takes a couple months or 100 hours it doesn’t matter. What matters is I made up my mind on my goal and I was committed to seeing it through till the end no matter what.

In my 28 years of life, I have never been more committed and more focused in my life. August 6th, 2011, I made a commitment that day when I started my first novel. That was the first book in my fiction series. From that day till December 21st, 2018 my main focus was to finish what I had started. Publish my first book.

Determined

I have lived most of my life without goals and motivation and drive in my life, and look where that got me? Yes, do I believe that all played a factor in my life to bring me to this point absolutely. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have made that path I was on for over seven years a little easier. Yes, everything happens for a reason. But I believe we have the opportunity to control some of the things that come up in our life and control that outcome.

When I started my first novel seven years ago. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy and it was going to be hard. Especially with how much I struggle with reading and writing I knew it would be challenging. But I didn’t care what the time frame was or how long it took me. I started writing and never looked back.

New Challange

Now I didn’t publish my first book I started but that’s ok. Things change and new things came up for me over that time.  A few years ago, I just switched my focus to my memoir. I felt like sharing my unique story was more important at the time than a fiction series I created.

My book has only been out for about a week so far. There hasn’t been a crazy number of books sold so far. Which is about what I expected. Every day I move forward this business is still all new to me. I’m trying to take in the fact that I finally published my first book, I should be happy. I’m now a published author. But I’m now a business owner and now I have to take care of everything. This is where the real fun begins and my inner Entrepreneur comes out and is ready for a new challenge.

My Objective Changed

Yes, it’s a lot but this is what I signed up for. I’m excited about this and looking forward to pursuing this new career and path I’m on now. Will it be scary yes, it already is haha? People are buying my book and reading about me that’s still an adjustment. I have always been a private person and always kept to myself. Now I went the complete opposite direction and wrote a book about my dyslexic world.

This started out as a journal and sharing my faults and weaknesses with my dyslexia and how much I have struggled over the years. But then as I was writing it transitioned into wanting to help kids and young adults like myself.

I don’t want to sell books for a living. I want to sell my unique life and what I have learned along the way and how I see the world. Now I’m not saying my views are all correct and you have to follow me or you will lose and fail. That’s not it at all obviously.

You Never Know

All I’m trying to share with the world and YOU. I know what it’s like to be confused, feeling alone and searching for meaning in life. I always believed I was different and meant for something special from a young age I just never knew what that was. Now I think I found it. To share my dyslexic story with those that are like me and searching for meaning and purpose.

It took me 298 hours to finish this book. It was worth every minute typing on my computer. When I was writing and bringing this book to life it gave me a purpose in life. It helped me feel alive for the first time in a long time. That’s why my story is so unique.

Who would have thought a dyslexic kid would want to and could read 50 books in almost five years and finished writing three books, published one and now starting his fourth book? That’s why life is so precious. You never know where you might end up in the world. Never stop fighting and never give up on your dream and passion.

The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes

It’s Finally Here

Well, I have good news people. After four plus years and almost 300 hours spent working on my book. I’m happy to announce for the first time The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes is officially live and is now on Amazon. Links are below.

I would be lying if I didn’t say this felt weird but it does haha. I can now say Peter A Harrower is a published author. I can’t help but smile, I still can’t believe this happened. Thinking back to four years ago when I started this book. Wow, that would be cool if this actually gets published and becomes real and not just talk about it and hopefully become real one day.

A Long Time

Well, I did it and I cannot be more excited to announce that my number one goal for almost eight years now has come true. I’m able to call myself an author now. The point of this was not to become an author and fill my own pockets. The point of this was to share my story and what I have gone through over the years. My unique story is way bigger than any dollar amount. My story is unique and a one of a kind just like your story.

I know how hard it was dealing every day with my faults and weaknesses every day of my life. I mean I still struggle with them and I always will struggle with them. Finally, I found a way to fight back for the first time in my life. Instead of running from what I suck at now, I’m now embracing what I suck at and now sharing that with the world.

New Me

This book is way more than just a journal and sharing what I have learned over the years. This book is hopefully going to make a kid with dyslexia or battling whatever problems they have currently. It’s going to let them know that its ok to be afraid and scared to do the things you’re not good at. I’ll be honest I’m still scared to read in front of people to this day at 28. I’ll probably never be a fan of that.

I hated reading and writing all the way up to graduating from high school. Then it hit me a couple years later. Why not try and turn that weakness into a strength or at least try and become a little better? That’s what I did and that’s what I’m still doing and will always be doing. 49 books read in the last four and a half years. Three books were written and now finished in the last seven years and more ideas in the back of my mind waiting to be shared with the world.

My goal is to read 100 books by the time I’m 30. I have about 15 months left. Isn’t that funny how people can change? In my past, you couldn’t pay me to read. Now my new goal is to finish 51 books in the next 15 months haha.

Focus On You

My biggest goal for this book is to help that kid or 21 year old whatever the age. I want them to know that its ok if they don’t know what they want to do in life or what their career is yet. Yes, they might get upset seeing their friends finding their way and career in life but who cares. Yes, it might suck because they found it and you didn’t but it doesn’t matter. They have their own life and you have yours. It took me a long time to realize that and actually start believing it.

You just need to focus on your life and what you want to do and what you enjoy. Life is short and life is so precious, we only get one chance at it. It’s not a game where you get unlimited chances to beat that level. When you’re called home and it’s time for you to go there are no do-overs. What you did and put in up to this point is what you get out of it and that’s it.

Vision

That’s why now is the time to make the most of your life and don’t look back. When you’re on your death bed you know what should scare you and be one of the scariest things to see around your bed or in your mind? Is all the thought bubbles of I wish I did this or that? If only I had more time or could do it all over again. That is one of the scariest visions I have ever had in my life.

That vision is what drives me to make the most of my life now. Well, a lot of things drive me to make the most of it haha. God put me on earth and in this situation for a reason. I was blessed with the strengths and weaknesses for a reason. Now is the time to make the most of your life and live it up with no regrets why you can.

Go write that book and publish it in 2019. Go run that race or climb that mountain. It doesn’t matter what it is. We all have our own unique hills to climb in our life. I’m 28 and I just got over my first big hill in my life. That hill was finally publishing my book.

What’s Next

Now looking out at the beautiful view in front of me. Do you want to know what I see on my horizon? I see opportunity in front of me. Yes, there are hundreds of hills I need to climb still to keep going and there will always be hard times ahead. But that’s what I want, I don’t want a flat easy walk to my deathbed. I want to see the world and share the world with you and with my wife. That’s why now is the time to make the most of it and chase those dreams and goals you have in your life and make them a reality.

Here are the links to my book below. I hope you enjoy.

Kindle

 

 

 

 

Paperback