My Regrets

Regret Is An Interesting Topic

Well at least for me it is maybe. For me, I have one regret and one regret only in my 27 years of existence so far. Sure there were moments I wish I did this or didn’t do that, but there is only one major thing I have to live with. Now the only downside to having this regret if I didn’t have it and go through what I did to get where I am now in life. Then where would I be? Would I be the same person, or even have the same mindset and drive that I have now?

You already know my background and my earlier years growing up. How I struggled with school and all my ups and downs. With all of that done now and looking back, it still bothers me thinking about my High School days. HS is supposed to be one of the best times of our lives, and it was for me.

Then again it was also one of the worst times too. I used my disability and having dyslexia as an excuse going through school, and I paid the price for it. With where I am now in life, did I really pay for it? I have never been more hungry and determined to achieve this goal of mine. Maybe it was a sacrifice I had to pay, in the end, wouldn’t you sacrifice something to make a difference or achieve that goal and purpose you have been dreaming and searching for?

Being Lazy

Not just in school anymore, I think it carried over to what I thought was going to take me somewhere, sports. Growing up baseball and basketball were my spots all my earlier years. When I was younger playing baseball. Getting double plays and I even got a handful of triple plays. School dominated me and had my number and I couldn’t focus on it. When it came to sports I felt like Einstein. I was so good and looking ahead and seeing the game from a different angle and always quick and ready for the next play. With basketball when I would be playing defense. I loved defense shutting down the other person preventing them from scoring. With defense, I was smart with it.

I’m defending my guy and someone comes to screen me or I get tangled up. Rushing and pushing to get through it quickly, I look for my man and the ball. The point guard dribbles over to my guy, so I have time now. I start to slow down on purpose. When the PG motions his hands and starts to pass the ball. I quickly speed up to cut off the pass and jump in front of it, and I’ve stolen the ball and on a breakaway.

I Miss It

In school I wasn’t a big-time scorer, in HS I maybe averaged 10-15 points something like that. When it came to defense It was easier for me and came more natural than becoming a scoring threat. I also loved passing, I would rather get 10 dimes a game, then averaging 20 points. It was more enjoyable controlling the game and where the ball was going. I controlled it and had the power, instead of me working for it and getting open. It didn’t hurt having the accuracy and strength to make the hard passes also.

What made the basketball side the worse was my senior year. Last year and usually everyone’s best hopefully of course. Wanting to do your best and go out on top. One day I was struggling or just in my head not doing that good I don’t remember exactly. One of my coaches came up to me, long story short. He said Peter you have the talent and you are one of the best players in the league if not the best.

Before I Tell You

I knew I had the physical talent and I knew I could play. I could do everything, I was the whole package. Not being cocky, but I could shot, pass, defend, I was fast, quick and had long arms. Now for some reason my body just couldn’t keep up, my mind and body just seems to be on two different levels. It was very frustrating, I think that’s part of the reason why he said that. He noticed something was up, or I wasn’t playing to my full potential.

Once he said that I felt honored first that somebody thought that. Then after awhile, I was thinking, crap why aren’t I playing to my full potential then? Why am I holding back, what’s the point? I have nothing to lose what am I afraid of? The next thing I knew graduation came and I received my piece of paper and walking down the stage and that was it.

With All Of That Said

The point I’m trying to make here is this. Even though I didn’t play my full 100% potential and didn’t try as hard as I could have, or should have in sports and school. I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING, going through those moments and four years. It helped make the person I am today, sure I would have loved playing a sport in college and getting a taste of that life. Then thinking about it now, school wasn’t for me so in order for me to go, it would have to be a perfect fit. Nobody’s story is going to be perfect and glorious as the movies.

Honestly, who would want a perfect life like that? For me everything that I have battled or dealt with the last 27 years. It all played a part in who I am today, and brought me to this very moment and made me the awesome, funny, and sexy person I am today haha.

Your Life Is A Book

Each chapter is a year, and once it’s December 31st its over and a new chapter begins January 1st. After my earlier years in my twenties, I just got sick of the same thing. Enough was enough, feeling guilty and showing pity for myself. Yes it sucks, and I can’t go back and its almost been 10 years since I graduated, that all is horrible and feels weird saying that.

A few good things about that is this, first I’m not dead, my heart is still beating and I’m breathing so I have another chance. With my life and what I did, and the attitude and mindset I chose to have in HS. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way, sometimes though I think we have to learn the hard way. It makes us stronger and a better person for it.

Give Back

Now I can help kids not make the same mistakes I made. Try harder in school as much as you hate it, I get it most of us hated it. Life goes so fast, and this should be the BEST times of your life. Not up and down, and ok or below par times for the most part like it was for me. I missed my chance to play for Duke and under Coach K. One good thing with my story and what I have learned and sharing with you all now. Who knows maybe that will make a difference in a kids life that was struggling. Maybe it was that little push they needed to keep going and not give up.

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