My Ghosts
Imagine the day when you’re on your deathbed. I know that’s not something we try and think about or people taught us to think about regularly haha. You’re on your bed nobody else around except your ghosts.
Now, these ghosts represent everything you didn’t accomplish in your life you had wanted to or talked about doing in your days leading up to this moment. For me, I want to publish at least six books at the moment. I’m going back and forth with some other ideas. I want my fiction series to be turned into movies, which is three of my books. I’m training to do a half ironman this summer just to name a few.
Originally I wanted my books to sell a million copies, yes that’s a big goal to chase. But then my dad challenged me and was being my dad haha. Instead of capping it and trying to sell a million copies of your books. Why not try and reach a million plus people with your books? I didn’t really have to think too long about that, it made sense and I like that more.
Wake Up Call
All of these goals I talked about that has to do with my books. It’s not about the money, yes is their money in that business and money to be made. Of course, there is a lot of money out there and plenty to go around. That’s not what drives me and brought me onto this path of becoming an author and sharing my story. Yes, do I want to sell a lot of copies, of course, I won’t deny that or apologize about that. Because if I sell a lot of my books, especially my memoir then that means the more of that book I sell the more young adults I can be connecting with.
All of this I believe was put on my heart for a reason. It would just be a waste if I don’t follow through with it or do anything about it now. Will it be easy of course not, it’s already been over seven years. In that time, I’ve written three books and started my own blog. In that time, I have reached out to almost 300 agents to represent me. I had 100 tell me they weren’t interested, and 170 not respond. Was I upset and pissed, well yes, I was. Because it was a reality check this was going to be a lot harder than I anticipated.
I’m Almost Done
Did that stop me from working and trying to get better with my writing absolutely not? Did I have my off days and days I didn’t want to write absolutely? But here we are I’m still writing and not slowing down. Yes, I have earthly goals of mine about writing and publishing my books and trying to help as many kids and young adults as possible. That will always be the backbone to what I’m trying to do.
In the end, if my books get published awesome that will be a dream come true. I know for a fact when I hold my first book looking at it with my own eyes and see the words I wrote and Peter A. Harrower on the spine I know I will tear up a little. I won’t even hide it or deny it, I will cry because I know what it took to create that book and the time and effort over the last seven years writing three books. My memoir book alone I have put over 270 hours into and I’m still not done. I’m getting goosebumps thinking about that moment as I write this.
What Really Matters
In all honesty, if my books don’t do as well as I had hoped. I try not to think that way and already looking at the outcome, but this is just an example. Whether they do amazing or don’t do anything I’m still going to be the same Peter I was when I first started writing those books. I know for a fact that will never change me. Because I don’t want to be remembered for my books. Yes, I want to use that as a stepping stone to help impact kids that were upset and confused like me. But more importunately I want to be a light and a good example to those kids and young adults that need it.
I want to be the best husband and one-day father, son, brother, uncle, and friend that I can be. Will I mess up some days absolutely will I screw up sometimes of course. But will I get it right some days, yes, I will? Will the people close to me know my heart and know that I’m trying my best, yes, they will? I don’t need money or fame to tell me I accomplished amazing things. I just need people around me to have an opportunity to be kind to them to laugh with them and have fun with them and be there friend.
My Possibilities
Do my goals and dreams drive me yes, they do? Does one day becoming a father push me to work harder and save more money and give them the life they deserve yes it does? In the end, I don’t need to have this story from Les Brown be my ultimate goal for me. Yes, it’s a great reminder and a great eye-opener and it definitely woke me up.
I feel like I’m already on the path to doing everything that I talked about doing. I haven’t given up yet, I’m still fighting every day and still working hard. I’m just starting to recognize now that I can work harder and do better. So that’s what I’m focusing on now. I’m more aware of what I can do and capable of doing now, then what I’m not capable of doing. My mindset has shifted to the possibilities that I can accomplish not to what I’m not able to do.
Check out the video below