Let’s be honest, not many people like to be scared or think, fear is a great motivator. I agree, most of my life If I feared something or was scared why would I want to confront it or go near it, that’s stupid? Well, what did I know; it turns out nothing I was wrong haha. It’s true; fear is a great motivator and can help push you to new limits that you never expected in life.
Fear can mean anything and its different for every one of us, and that’s perfectly ok. Besides, we are all on different paths and heading in different directions in life. That’s why we can’t get too caught up in other people’s lives and seeing what they are doing and how they are living. You don’t know what they are going through or maybe battling at the moment. Everything might look ok and fine on the outside, but on the inside they are broken and lost like so many of us.
When I was younger I’ll admit I was scared a lot, when it came to school everything terrified me. Having the teacher calling on me to answer a question, or maybe to read something out loud. Don’t get me started on homework and studying for tests. Who knows how many fights I got into with my parents through the years about school-related topics. I can’t read fast, my spelling was a joke, and I can’t write well. When it comes to paying attention in school I’m like a little kid, I can’t stay focused and get distracted very easily.
With all of my faults and issues I have or used as excuses over the years. Even with that deadweight, I used holding me back and preventing me from living all these years. My fear was one of the final pushes I needed to push me over the edge to keep going, and finally, start living for once. That’s why I need to do this blog, that’s why I said enough was enough. I know I’m not the only one that used my dyslexia and lack of knowledge toward school as excuses. I know there are millions of people that maybe had the same thoughts and frustrations just like me. Are we all different and have different hobbies of course, but when it comes to school and the learning side we all are probably very similar.
Leap Of Faith
There were two things that pushed me over the edge. They both help me take that leap of faith to finally start living. I wanted to conquer my fear of my faults and not be ashamed of who I am and all the issues and setbacks I had all these years. Sure my mindset will always need work and hopefully not be so negative and judgmental of myself. That’s going to be a lifelong battle. The second was YOU; I know there are millions of kids just like me.
I know what my childhood was like, now I was beyond blessed and lucky. Having a roof over my head, both of my parents, food, water and everything else I needed. I wasn’t spoiled but my parents provided everything to take care of me and my sisters. What about those kids who don’t have a mom or dad? Maybe a parent or loved one died, or maybe just couldn’t take it anymore and just got up and left one day. I didn’t have to deal with any of that, so that’s why when it comes to me complaining it’s only my mindset and the issues I dealt with. Everything else I have no reason to complain about, I had more than enough.
More Than Enough
I know what you kids are dealing with and battling every day. That’s why people and kids need to hear my story. Now, is my story better than yours ABSOLUTELY not, just like yours is not better than mine. Are stories are just different and we all traveled different paths in our life. I know the outcome and what and where that negative attitude will take you after all of these years, NOWHERE.
I’m 27 now and still searching and trying to find my way and purpose in life. I have two part-time jobs at the moment. Now trying to turn what started out as a hobby that quickly turned into an obsession, into a full-time career. I think my story can do more good than bad. What I mean with that is I have always been a private person; I never really liked opening up to people and talking that much. Being dyslexic made me scared and embarrassed to talk to people. It prevented me from living a normal life like everyone else. I quickly realized I don’t want a normal life like everyone else. I don’t want to fit in with the world like I used to want when I was a kid in school.
No More Hiding
I’m part of a small group that is different and has a unique disability compared to everyone else. Now it’s time to use that to my benefit and flip the script. Now is the time for me to embrace who I really am and how I really am. I have wasted far too much time hiding in the shadows and being ashamed of who the real Peter is.
Life is short and its almost 2018. Use that fear and control it, not let that fear control you? That’s why I need to share my story. To show kids life can be fun, even though you’re different than others doesn’t mean you can be successful and live a great life? My fears are pushing me every day to get out of my comfort zone, and try and become a better person. What are your fears doing for you?