My Obituary

Your Obituary

Thinking about my obituary is not fun, or should it be? If you’re at the end of your life and looking back at the last 70 or 80 years of your life what do you want to see? I’m guessing it’s something along the lines of success, accomplishments, family, hard worker things along that? Yes, those would be good, but what else do you want your obituary to say?

For me and what I think about my obituary, honestly, I don’t really care all that much. I only care about what my wife, family and the close people around me think of me. Do I want my life resume to say multiple times published author? Solid millions of books, fiction series turns into movie series. Do I want my writing career to be turned into my fulltime job and a hobby at the same time? Absolutely, that would be a dream come true. I want my wife to not have to worry about having to work overtime so we can make money. I want her right by my side working on this business with me.

Priorities

Getting married, becoming a father and publishing a book were my ultimate goals in life. They are still my top goals and priorities and they always will be. But I have been having this feeling in my gut over the last couple of years. I need to share my story, from what I went through over the years to what I’m doing now. What I did do is probably the craziest thing I ever imagined in my life up to this point at 29. I embraced my biggest weaknesses and imperfections about myself. Now I turned them around and sharing them with you.

I’m nobody special, I’m not a household name, I don’t ever want to be in the spotlight or “famous” I don’t care about that. What I do care about is making the most of the only life I was given. On top of that, a goal I have had for years is to try and make the world a better place than when it was when I was born into it. Now that’s no small goal, and if you have gotten to know me over the last few years I don’t have small goals. I have big goals, that for years it scared me to share them with people. Big goals that when I talk about them it freaks me out and makes me start to think if it’s even possible.

Possibilities

Maybe all of my goals won’t come true? But here’s the thing what if they do come true? I want to publish over 10 books in my life and have my fiction series get turned into movies. I want to sell over a million copies of my books. More importantly, like my dad told me years ago I want to impact a million people or kids and young adults.

I know I won’t be able to write my obituary and say hey Lindsay when I die I want it to say this. No, it doesn’t work like that, at least I don’t think? All I care about is what I do in the meantime leading up until my obituary is printed.

My Struggle

My focus and goal with my books, my blog, and speaking are very simple. I want to entertain and teach people either in person or through my books. If it’s my fiction series I want to entertain people and give them something that will help them escape a bad day or give them something they won’t want to put down. If it’s my memoir just because you think there is something wrong with you doesn’t always mean that it’s true. That might be your opinion but not the reality.

For most of my life, I HATED myself. The only thing I liked was I was athletic and I could make people laugh. For years and years, I thought is this all I’m good for? Then I read a book at 21 and everything started to change. I started writing, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I could write to myself about myself and I was able to embrace who I am. It wasn’t always easy and I had my bad days but it saved my life.

Still Going

That’s what I want to be remembered for. I don’t care what a stupid newspaper says about me or what’s printed. What matters is what I do why I’m still breathing and able to connect with people.

That’s how we should be looking at this. Not worrying about what the paper says. We should be worrying about what are life says and what we’re doing with it. I have goals and big plans. I’m a goal-oriented person, I need goals and direction and purpose to keep pushing me and to keep me going.

What Will You Do

That’s what I want to share with you now. Don’t focus on what doesn’t matter and what you want to be remembered for or what you want people to remember you by. Just focus on living your life doing the right thing and making a difference why you’re still able to. When it’s all said and done if you go about it the right way that’s all that matters and that’s how people will remember you.

I decided one day I couldn’t be controlled anymore by my Learning Disability and Dyslexia. Now I’m a two-time published author and sharing my unique story with the world and letting them know what it’s like living through my eyes.

You will find your way one day. It took me years and years and I never thought it would happen, but then it did. Sometimes it’s easier said than done. Be patient and never stop working every day. One day it will all make sense. Till that day comes, keep working hard every day and never quit.

First Year of Marriage

First Year of Marriage

I can’t believe I have been married for one year already. Not only that it’s been a busy first year. Lindsay and so many close friends have said we have done so much in the first year of marriage. Me, I think it’s been a great year, don’t get me wrong. But I think the Harrowers are only getting started.

Lindsay and I started talking online on January 26th, 2018. Our first date was February 11th. I popped the question June 9th and we got married on October 6th. I never thought this day would actually happen.

Then we went to Mexico for our honeymoon and it was beautiful. We spent a week in paradise, literally it was the best trip I and Lindsay have ever been on.

Goal #2

Exactly 76 days later after my number one goal in life was checked off. My number two goal in life got a checkmark. I published my first book. I spent over four years writing and working on this book. But really this book has been in the works from age six to 28 when I published it. The World Through My Dyslexic Eyes came to life and is now out there in the world. I’m a published author is this really happening?

My wife is now a published author and I’m a two-time published author. HOLD ON, back up. I’m married and now writing a book with my wife this is crazy and can’t be real? This is how my old self would look at this. So, what a bunch of people have published a book before? I still have this battle to this day and you can ask Lindsay. It’s still a struggle and still a huge dark cloud over me.

Team Effort

Even since I started writing in my early 20s I wanted to write a kid’s book, I just didn’t know what about. I know it’s a very hard and competitive category to write in I just needed the right story. Then I met Lindsay. She always wanted to share her and now my dog’s story. So around April of this year, that story started to come to life. The World Through Bella’s Eye’s is now available.

It’s not just another story that Lindsay and I wrote. This story was written and told by Bella. She tells the story and shares the story through her eyes to you. It’s a story about her journey and what she went through in her past to where she is now and everything she battled within that time. Beating cancer, being abused and left in the woods for three days and much more.

Dream Chaser 

Now my wife is a published author and doing something she never dreamed of doing. Myself, on the other hand, I published two books in less than nine months. If I look to my left where my desk is I can see my book and Bella’s book on the top of my bookcase. Sometimes I look at them and think those are cool covers. Wait those are my books, crap I wrote those. Well, Lindsay helped with Bella’s but you know what I mean.

Then I wonder how did I get here? Just a few short years ago I never thought I would be getting married. Still living in my parent’s house with a dry erase board filled with some goals and dreams. Now those dreams are slowly coming true. I’m at 77 books read and my goal is to get 100 by March 25th. I have published two books and I just need to publish one more to accomplish my two big goals by the time I’m 30.

Hard Work Pay’s Off

It wasn’t easy getting to this point. I never thought I would ever get to this point. Now that I’m here it almost seems to easy. Of course, it wasn’t that easy but looking back and reflecting. Look at what I’m doing, look at what Lindsay is doing? Look at what were both doing together now with are books?

I’m not saying what we’re doing is better than what you are doing. Please understand I’m not bragging and saying we’re better than you. All I’m saying is we’re all on different paths in our lives. There’s nothing wrong with that and that’s ok. All you need to worry about is your path and the journey you’re on. I just never thought this would happen. I always figured it would be a dream.

Perfect Combo

Was it worth all of the years being single and wondering if I will ever get married of course it was worth it? I never dated that much and the saying I would rather have loved and lost than never have loved always seemed so stupid to me. Thinking about it if you didn’t love then you wouldn’t be sad if something happened or you lost your spouse.

On the flip side if you didn’t love in the first place then you will never know what it was like to be so connected to another person’s heart and soul. Lindsay and I have been married for 382 days and we dated for eight months before that. But I swear we have known each other for years.

Don’t Stop Searching

Now I understand that phrase and you know what it’s true. The only reason I never understood that phrase was because I never loved someone and cared about someone before. If you ask me it’s worth the battle and the pain and suffering to find your soul mate. Some days I swear she knows me better than me.

After our first year of marriage, I can now say I would rather have loved and lost than never have loved before. If I never met Lindsay then I wouldn’t be where I am today. More importantly, I wouldn’t have had Lindsay by my side. If you ask me it’s worth it to keep searching and fighting for the one you love. Life is short, enjoy the time you have now because who knows how long till your time runs out.

After the first year of marriage, I’m excited for year two. Love you, babe.

Shopping Cart

Laziness

Yes, you read the title correct. Shopping cart, it will make sense soon enough. Lately, I have been struggling with this. Now I like to think I’m not a lazy person. Now, do I have my moments I just want to lay on the couch with my girl and dog and watch a movie or some football, of course? I won’t lie that sounds amazing.

For the most part, I don’t like lazy days or its hard for me to not want to keep moving and doing something active or productive. I think one of the main reasons is I work from home. Lindsay is out in the real world and out and about all day when she’s working. Its a completely different story and scenario, so I think that’s the difference between us. Now I’m not saying Lindsay is lazy of course, that’s not what I mean. She works very hard in her job. So somedays she wants to take it easy and just relax. I get that and completely understand.

The Right Thing

The reason why I brought up lazy is this. We live about five minutes away from Walmart. It’s very close and very convenient in case we need something and its also right next to my gym so it’s even easier. I can pick stuff up after working out if I need to. Lately, though I have been seeing it alot and it bothers me. I guess I never really thought about it that much till one day a few months ago I saw the President of 1stPhorm Sal, talk about it.

He talked about doing the small things in life. It doesn’t matter what your title is if you see trash you pick it up. If you see something that doesn’t belong you put it away. Again I’ve been seeing this alot but it never registered. But whenever I go to Walmart or leave. Have you ever noticed a random shopping cart next to polls or in parking spots? It might not be at Walmart but I’m sure it happens all over the place.

Perspective

Well, I think it’s safe to say, ladies and gentlemen. Those people that don’t take those carts back or put them back are really starting to bother me. Now I don’t know their situation maybe they are sick or missing a leg or something I don’t know. I get it, maybe it’s hard or you had a long day whatever the reason. I’m human I’m not heartless I understand.

But really think about it. If your to busy to take the extra couple of steps to take the cart back into the store or to the drop off point that’s probably closer to you then what are you doing wrong in your everyday life? If you’re that lazy that you can’t take the 30 seconds to put the cart back then what else are you skimping on in your life? What are you trying to take the shortcut from in your everyday living thinking it will help you get an edge over someone? In all reality its really hurting you in the long run and your future. It’s also kind of sad if you ask me.

The Easy Way

If you use that shopping cart metaphor for a second and look in your life what are you taking the easy approach to in your life? For me, it’s not making enough sales calls sometimes for my job. I get distracted sometimes working on other documents for clients and doing other stuff when thats something I could be doing at the end of the day. So what I need to do is get better with prioritizing. That goes with juggling everything with my writing career and sales job.

The flexibility I have with working from home makes it so easy to do both or go back and forth if something comes up. It’s not like I’m on the road traveling or don’t have regular access to a computer like I always do.

Listen & Learn

What I’m trying to explain is this. Do you have examples or certain things you do regularly that you know you shouldn’t do or maybe you should be doing? Now it happens I have some and look at the one I just gave you above. Now the next most important question you need to ask yourself is this. What are you doing about it? Are you trying to fix it or just brushing it under a rug and leaving it for later and hiding it from others?

Depending on how you answer those questions and what your actions are shows the kind of person you are and also what kind of work ethic you have. Now here’s the awesome thing, you still have time to fix it and do the right thing. Do you want to get better at your time management or your to-do list? Well, read about the successful people that have been doing that for years. Do the research and learn from others and see what works for them. What works for them might not work for you, but it could lead you to the thing that does.

What Will You Choose

Just because you were doing something in your past doesn’t mean that it controls you and your outcome for the rest of your life. Your past is over and yes you can’t do anything about that. But today is a new day and once you wake up you can decide what you want to do with what’s in front of you today. What is your mindset going to be happy or angry? Are you willing to put the shopping cart back even when you don’t feel like it? Or are you just going to take the easy approach and be average and leave it? The choice is yours and your mindset is what decides that.

Remember whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.

Work On Yourself

What Do You Want

Work on yourself is very simple and straightforward. But how come for some, it’s so hard to do and it’s like pulling teeth to work on yourself? Now if you would have asked me when I was younger, working on my weaknesses and trying to get better. I would have been in that pulling teeth category unless it was sports then I might do it. I’m not saying I’m anything great but everything changed, now look at what I’m doing? I’m embracing my weaknesses and faults and my work ethic has changed.

If I hated working on myself and trying to talk about my flaws and weaknesses for most of my life growing up. How did I change, or more importantly what changed and why? Again I’m not saying I’m anything great or anything special I’m just talking out loud and trying to figure it out.

My Reality

I think it all started because I didn’t like myself. Sorry, that’s an understatement I hated myself. I thought I was a loser, not successful, no potential and thought God made a mistake in creating in me. Is this a stretch with what I thought, no this is the honest truth? These thoughts flood through my veins from ages 6-25. Now I’m not saying this for a pity party or for you to feel bad for me. This is what happened and I need to fix it, simple as that. I chose to have this mindset and think this way, now I need to fix it.

When I started writing over eight years ago. I started writing for one thing and one thing only. Writing gave me hope, writing gave me a feeling and purpose that I never felt before doing anything else. From 21 until now all I thought about was writing and becoming an author and doing that full time.

My Vision

What didn’t drive me and push me into the writing world was money and fame? I don’t like being the center of attention and I hate speaking and talking to others because I’m very self-conscious about my flaws and what I struggle with to this day and I don’t think I’m good enough.

Now did I dream and imagine what it would be like to create a career like John Grisham or J.K. Rowling, your absolutely right I did? But it wasn’t for the money and my own pockets. It was because I wanted to entertain others and help others and if money followed and it paid me enough to do this full time then that is an added blessing and bonus if you ask me.

Priorities

I want to entertain people, and I believe I can with my “flaw” of mine. That “flaw” you could say helped put this crazy idea that my dyslexic self could become a published author and go and write books for a living. Well, I have published one and it was the second greatest moment in my life. It was very close but getting married and finding Lindsay will still always be number one in my books, pun intended haha. Then if we’re lucky enough and we have kids one day, then it will go Lindsay, Kids then writing at number three.

I always thought getting married and having kids was going to be way harder for me than publishing a book. I didn’t like myself, I didn’t believe in myself, I hated and resented myself. From a young age, I always believed I was going to do something special, I just didn’t know what.

Real Life

Now my writing is opening up doors I never could have dreamed. For starters this coming year I will be going back to my old high school and working with some kids like me. That alone I can’t even fathom thinking about. Now I’m going to be going back and talking to kids about my story my experience and what I have learned. I feel like it was only yesterday I graduated from high school. Now I’m going back 11 years later as a friend, to try and help kids just like myself. Kids who might be in similar situations like I was at there age.

In about a week, I will be publishing my second book that I co-wrote with my beautiful wife. That’s something I never could have dreamed about, a lot of this I never dreamed about. None of this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t keep working hard every day. Some days sucked, some days were hard, but others were great days and I’m grateful for all three.

Work Is A Must

I know it’s easy to focus on the bad and the bad sometimes always outweighs the good. Wait, that’s an interesting phrase, that would be a good blog post, ohh wait I did that. Don’t worry, it will be posted soon.

As long as you’re still breathing then you should always work on yourself every day, it should be a priority. Will it always be fun, no it won’t. Will it be hard and uncomfortable, of course? That’s why they call it work, it’s not always going to be fun. But it will make a bigger difference than you ever could have imagined.

Now Is The Time

That’s why I challenge you to always work on yourself. This phrase work on yourself came from Trent Shelton a great guy that I have been following for a while now. Never stop working on yourself. The moment you stop to work on yourself, I believe is the moment you give up on yourself and you don’t care anymore and are checked out.

That my friends is a sad way to go out. Just imagine if you worked a little harder, tried a little harder and gave a little more effort? Just imagine where you could have gone and what you could have done. Now is the time to stop imagining about it and start making it happen.

Discipline Vs Regrets

What Would You Pick

If your life was filled with one thing which would you pick discipline vs regrets? The choice should be obvious, but we all know and you’re smarter than that. The obvious choice doesn’t always happen. It’s discipline vs regrets, what are you going to do?

I’ll be honest now at 29 the last few years I became a very self-motivated person. Do I have my off days absolutely? I still have days that I feel like I didn’t do enough? Do I have days that I think I suck and I didn’t work hard enough and I could have done better, absolutely?

Choices

Here’s the thing, I didn’t just wake up one day and say you know what, I’m going to be more self-disciplined and then you go on and take on the world. Yes, you might say the words and realize you want to better yourself and do better. But it’s not that easy, depending on how old you are. You have probably been living bad for years or you weren’t the most disciplined person in the world.

It takes time people and it takes work, don’t beat yourself up. I know it’s hard. Because I beat myself up and I rip myself apart far too much. I get so mad and feel like a failure. Am I really a failure in life because I didn’t get two things done on my list for the day, no. But that mindset of holding myself to a higher standard is what’s going to help me do better, and be a better person. Will I want to do it, no some days I want to just play video games like the old days and kick my feet up and chill.

Push Yourself

Is inflicting pain on myself why working out fun, yes, it is. I love it! Why would I want an easy workout, why would I just want to coast through it, how does that benefit me by doing easy stuff or the same thing day after day? The answer you’re looking for is it won’t benefit you at all. It will actually hurt you in the long run.

Why and how would it hurt me in the long run, great question thanks for asking? It’s going to hurt you because you’re potentially missing out on your future you that you were destined to become. That’s how it’s going to hurt you. If it’s just you, well then, it’s going to hurt your future self and the person you were meant to become. Say you’re married it will hurt your spouse. If you have kids it’s going to hurt them because they see the effort you put in.

Perspective

This poor mindset has been a battle my whole life. Some days I wanted to quit and not pursue writing anymore. I thought it was going to be too hard to publish my book and become a published author. My negative mindset and lack of confidence in myself almost prevented me from pursuing this dream of mine and turning it into a reality.

Imagine if I quit, what would I be doing. Honestly, I don’t even know and the scares the crap out of me even more than what I’m pursuing right now. I have no idea what I would be doing, who knows if I would even be alive. But I do know, I am alive and still breathing and happier then I have ever been in my life.

Stay Tuned

I’m now pursuing a career that always was a vision and dream in my head. It was a dream I have been looking at on my dry erase board for over five-plus years now. I wanted to be a published author when I started writing in the summer of 2012.

Now here I am at 29 and about a month away from publishing my second book with my wife. It was a project that we have been working on for the last couple of months. I can’t wait for the world to read this story that Lindsay and I have been working very hard on.

Enjoy the Small Wins

Another reason why I know I’m hard on myself or so focused and tunnel vision is because Lindsay tells me and people tell Lindsay how much we have done in the first 10 months of our marriage. She says we have done a lot, friends have said we have done a lot. I feel like we have done well and trying to prevent an argument, I say we have done a decent amount haha.

I think it’s just my mindset, somedays I’m so focused on the end result and kicking butt every day trying to get to the finish line. That I struggle to enjoy the moments when we’re going through them. It takes me some time to catch my breath and look back and think, wow look at what I did or we did together. I know it’s not the best mindset and view, but I’m working on it, sorry babe.

Flaws

I know I have my faults and my weaknesses that I’m still working on. But here’s the thing I’m always going to be working on those and trying to get better every day. The time I die, I’m not going to have any regrets, because I’m working my tail off to fulfill my purpose and what I believe God put me here on earth to do.

Now if I die a year from now, then yes, I’ll have a lot of regrets I would only be 30. But I’m talking about 50 plus years down the road. 50 years might sound like a lot, but it will come faster than you think. In the next 50 years. Do you want to work hard and live a good life? Or play it safe and just live and put your dreams and goals on the side because you’re scared of taking a risk? The answer should be obvious, it’s about time we start building some discipline and take are regrets and turn them into realities.

A Graveyard

Times Change

When I saw a graveyard when I was younger, it freaked me out with all of the dead bodies. I’m sure that would have scared a lot of kids or made them uncomfortable.

When I was struggling and in my funk in my early 20’s I was confused, lost and searching. I didn’t know what I was searching for, I was just searching for something, anything better than my reality. I was fascinated with death and curious about it. At the time I felt like I wasn’t even living yet or really doing anything special with my life. I felt like a waste of air and felt useless to the world.

Motivated

A couple of months ago I started to get fascinated with graveyards and death again. But in a different way this time. Not like in the dark way that I once thought of in my early 20’s.

I started thinking about and seeing all of these different tombstones at a graveyard. Now I still don’t want to get old, and I’m not looking forward to it. But unfortunately, that’s one fight that all of us will lose every time and we won’t be able to outrun aging and death when it’s our time.

But what started to push me more and make me think more is graveyards. Think of any graveyard you ever saw in your life. Think of how many people die every day. I’m curious the percentage of those people that were happy by the time they died? Have you ever thought about that? What about the percentage of people that liked their life? Were they pleased with the effort they gave why they were on earth, still breathing until death found them?

Can I Be Successful

I know its kind of dark and weird I get it, haha, but stay with me. For most of my life failure and death scared me. I don’t want to get old I’m not ready to die yet. Now success scared me, I never felt like I did anything great or special with my life. Now I’m an author and chasing down my dreams every day. In the back of my mind, I always wondered what if I become successful and everything changes?

You can look at it two ways. First, I could do nothing and stay where I am and go with the flow. Work hard for my wife but just enough to have a safe life. I don’t push myself or don’t challenge myself because that will be hard. Or second, what if I push myself so freaking hard, that all of these years of being a dream chaser and hunting down my goals. Publish multiple books, reach over a million people have my fiction series turned into movies and so on. What if I worked so hard that my dream job became real and I was making enough that Lindsay could stay home with our future kids?

Now One

Between Lindsay and myself we have two different lives. She knew from a young age what she wanted to do in life. Me, I just was focusing on getting my diploma and being down with school. Lindsay makes good money, but it doesn’t come easy she works her tail off every day and for us. I know I’m lucky for how hard she works and I don’t say it enough, thanks, babe. Me on the other hand, I do ok I guess you could say. But my income could not take care of both of us, I will leave it at that.

What if in a few short years my books take off? My speaking starts to get bigger and my impact on the world by helping young adults and people grows? With that change, what if Lindsay doesn’t have to work as much or any more and can stay home. Who knows maybe work on this business with me and we could do it together. Honestly, that will scare the crap out of me because everything will be on me now. But I welcome that and that’s what I’ve been praying for.

Giving Back

This life is what I have been dreaming about since I was 21. Not the money side, writing, entertaining and helping others and making a difference. If I can make enough money doing what I love and have a great life then that is an added bonus and I’m even more blessed then I deserve if you ask me.

When it’s my time and God calls me home I want to leave multiple things behind. Not money, well maybe some money to help my wife and kids hopefully. That’s not what I want to be remembered for. I want to leave behind a work ethic and the fact that I didn’t settle and I was never content with being average. I chased my fears down and overcame them, I chased down the success I always wanted but was humble and didn’t let it change me.

Start Living

I don’t want to die with any regrets or great ideas buried inside of Peter when I take my last breath. I want to leave everything out on the court or the field, like when I played sports. Looking back, I think I could have tried harder in sports. But I can’t do anything about that now. What I can do though, is make up for the time I have now and that’s ahead of me, and so can you.

Now is the time to start living, not tomorrow or next week. That’s not guaranteed. What is only guaranteed right now is the moment you’re in. Now become a dream chaser like me and make the most of your life why you can. Don’t play it safe knowing the time you die, everyone wonders and is talking about the person you COULD HAVE BEEN. That should terrify you if it doesn’t then something is wrong. If you do it right they will be talking about the person you were and what you did with the time you had.

Creating Something From Scratch

Scariest Thing 

Have you ever felt the desire to create something? Have you ever felt that burning sensation in your belly, not after you eat something bad or you feel sick? I’m talking about that feeling and sensation that you know deep down inside of you that you want to take this new job, start this new business or take this different path on your journey? Creating something from scratch and starting something brand new can be one of two things. The scariest thing or the most rewarding thing you do. 

Yes, I was terrified and freaked about writing and if it would actually work. I’m not the smartest guy around, I suck at spelling grammar and well everything that has to do with school. I don’t like reading in front of people. I’m very self-conscious about myself. How could I write five books in the last eight years, let alone one? How can I publish a book, who would ever want to read my crazy story?  

Most Rewarding

I’m not an expert I’m still trying to figure all of this out as I live and start a new day every morning. With that mindset of the unknown and scared, I didn’t know what to do. That my friends is exactly why I wrote those books and decided to leave my safe place and my comfort zone. I was tired of not living, holding myself back and being my biggest enemy and toughest opponent. 

Now with this being the scariest thing I have ever done. It quickly transitioned to the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. I’ll be honest if you don’t have a type of learning disability you will you never be able to wrap your head around the struggles and issues going through school every day. The embarrassment, the lack of confidence in yourself and all of the other side effects that follow. Now you might have something you struggle with that I know nothing about it, I get that. I’m not going to sit here and say I have it harder than you and my life is harder because most likely it’s not. 

Become A Inventor 

With the side effects, I struggled with daily. Even through those tuff times, I never stopped believing I was meant to create something. Yes, sometimes I had to lie to myself or trick myself into writing and trying to be positive to get my work done when I didn’t want to. But hey, you got to do what you got to do.

In my whole life, I never felt more hunger, passion, and determination until I decided to start writing and wanted to publish a book. I had no idea how to do it, I’m still trying to figure it out and my book has been out for almost five months already. That’s what a lot of people mess up and don’t understand. Just because you don’t know everything or every little detail doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start or you shouldn’t confront that burning desire you have to create or do what you want to do.

My Purpose

That is the exact reason why you need and should want to do what’s burning and filling up inside of you. That burning desire, that’s passion and purpose that’s forming inside of you. Creating my books and writing and putting everything together is by far one of the greatest achievements I have ever had the opportunity to be a part of. 

Now getting married and publishing my book were my top two things in my life I wanted. I never thought I would be good enough to have a Mrs. Harrower by my side. When I was younger as a dyslexic kid, I would have rathered stare at wet paint and watch it dry then open a book or write. I never thought I would be where I am today.

I Feel Alive Again 

Getting married is hands down the best decision and the biggest surprise that ever could have happened for me. I still struggle with this every now and then thinking I’m married and how lucky and blessed I am. But publishing my book and writing my four other books is by far the biggest and best achievement that I also never thought I could accomplish or thought was possible. Lindsay knows how I feel about this and she knows she means the world to me and I would do anything I could for her.

This burning desire that’s been burning inside of me over the last eight years is way bigger than I ever could have imagined. The years, the days and the number of hours I have spent working on my books and trying to bring these books to life have given me more hope and purpose than I ever could have imagined.

Now Is The Time 

That’s why I challenge you to create something from scratch. Don’t be afraid of that burning desire and that hunger and passion that’s forming inside of you. Embrace that passion, hold on to it as tight as you can and never let go. Never let go of your dreams. Do everything you can to become that dream chaser you always envisioned yourself you could be. 

Those dreamers aren’t going anywhere in life, but you are and you can. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do that, or your idea won’t work and it won’t be successful. Maybe it won’t work, maybe it will take longer then you thought. Yes, that will be frustrating and it will suck I get it and have been there. But after working on that dream project and trying to bring your desire out to the world, maybe those failures will take you a different direction you weren’t anticipating. That’s a good thing because if you didn’t take that chance to bring those desires out to the world. If you didn’t take that chance, then who knows where you would be today and what you would be doing?   

Second Chances

1st Go Around

From ages, 6-25 was a hard stretch for me. But I’m here to let you know and remind you that it doesn’t matter what your past was like or where you came from or what you did or didn’t do. As hard as it is for me to say this and yes, I’m very stubborn and hot-headed sometimes. I think everybody deserves a second chance in life. I say that now because I got one.

Now when you here second chance what do you think it means? Maybe they did or didn’t do something and now they are paying the consequences now for what happened. Well, that’s what I’m doing now. My second chance is not a typical second chance. 

Round 2

With my first chance and go around, yes, I was young and you could say in the first part of my life I was still trying to figure some stuff out. Where I am right now my second chance definitely outweighs my first, there’s no comparison.

My first chance I was struggling to find myself and figuring out who Peter is and what I want to do in my life. What the world needs from me and searching for my purpose and finding direction. I’ll be honest, I’m still trying to figure all of that out even now at 29. But for the first time in my life, I’m happy to say I think I’m getting closer.

Reality Check

I finally feel like I’m moving in the right direction. I got married and published my book. Now, I have published one and have four more in draft mode. I published 120 posts on my website. With all of my posts, I have shared over 120,000 words on my website alone. In my five books, I have probably written around 250,000 words. 

Did you ever think that maybe God wanted you to live a little and see the world and experience life? That’s a concept I didn’t understand for a while. I wanted to know right now, what I was supposed to do and my purpose. Well for all of you impatient people like me, news flash, it doesn’t work like that. It took me a long time to understand that.

I Can’t Help

I have recognized a few things in the last year. First is I don’t deserve any of this. I always saw myself as two different people, the real me and the me on the outside that everyone sees every day. The only problem was the side you saw on the outside wasn’t actually Peter, I was wearing a mask and hiding my true colors and issues and problems.

Life is hard and it takes work, sometimes it sucks and sometimes it’s not fun. But that can’t be the reason why you give up or stop trying. There were so many times I wanted to say screw it, I’ll be a pawn in this game of life and go with the flow. I’ll let other people in the world do amazing things and help people they come across. They don’t need me to do it, what can I even do?

Big Goals, Big opportunities

You have to forget about what you did in your past and what happened. It’s over now and its finally time to move on and get over it. Yes, sometimes it’s easier said than done, I won’t disagree with you on that. But if you want to live, and I mean truly live then it’s time to stop fighting your past and what you did or didn’t do or struggled with and make it up with your present and future. I was always embarrassed about my past. With all of my ups and downs, I was going through and struggling with. In the end, those issues were giving me the life experiences I needed to grow and become the person I was meant to become.

If I would have gotten all A’s and B’s in school I most likely would have gone to college. Now from there who knows what would have happened next. But I can tell you this, most likely I never would have read that book about 2Pac that got me to start journaling and writing in the first place. 

Looking back now with where I came from, where I currently am and where I want to go. I have big goals, just ask my wife or family they will tell you. Helping kids and young adults not go down the wrong path like me is a top priority. I want to help and influence people with my books, my blog or just be a friend to them. I want to create a six-figure income and build my own business one day doing what I now feel I was meant to do. Another goal is to have Lindsay stay home full time and take care of our kids down the road one day like I know she wants to. 

Live It Up

Yes, if you couldn’t follow along those are some big goals I just shared. I’m not going to apologize about those goals because we only have one life to live and one opportunity to live, why not make the most of it and have fun along the way. That’s the kind of mindset we all should have. I want that money so I can put that responsibility on my shoulders and not my wife’s. Yes, she makes more money than me but I don’t really care. What I care about is her not having to stress over it or feel like she has to work more and pick up more hours for us. That’s what bothers me in this situation. 

I challenge you to not run away from new opportunities that come your way. Yes, they might be scary and intimating but that’s all part of the fun. Embrace your mistakes and have fun with it. Don’t be afraid of success and failure roll with it. When you can do that, that my friends is when you start to live. 

What Is Your GPS Telling You

Where Are You Going 

When you look at a GPS what do you see? You see the road your own of course and sometimes it might show other scenic stuff. You will see streets and other roads around you. When you’re driving and moving along what is your GPS telling you? Where you need to go, when your next turn is or how far you are from your destination.

Have you ever been on a road and took a wrong turn or missed your turn and depending on if you’re in a good mood or bad you here that horrible word “recalculating” depending on your mood is how you react to that.

Me and The Road 

When I look at my GPS of my life? I see where my starting point is and where my end point is. Now the only difference is that I don’t have a voice telling me where to turn and what to do. On the screen, it’s not telling me in 600 feet turn left, or your destination is on your right. My GPS doesn’t say anything like that.

My GPS only shows my soundings and roads and that’s it. There are no markings to show me what I’m near or names of the streets around me. It’s all blank, I’m guessing trying to figure out what turn I want or where I’m going along my journey in life.

Where Am I Going 

Some people’s GPS might show their end destination and they have clues along the way showing them what they will be doing next. What I mean is if they already have college or a career figured out and plans along those lines. That’s what’s so fascinating about everyone. Everyone’s map is different, but how you use that map and what you did with the map your given is what makes you special.

I had no direction after high school, all I knew was I wasn’t going to college and I always believed I was going to do something different and special one day. That’s the honest truth. 10 years ago, I would have been out of high school for a year with no direction and just beginning to start searching. If I would have seen my future self and what I had accomplished in the next 10-years I would have called bull crap and said it was a lie.

What Changed 

The Peter I know hates reading and writing. That’s impossible, there’s no way that he has read almost 60 books and written five books in 8 of that 10 years and also been married for almost six months? Well, younger self it’s true. I’m still trying to make the most of my journey and the time I lost.

Yes, I did have a starting point when I was born and also have an ending point where my destination will come to a stop. But here’s the thing when I get to my destination that is when my life will end and it’s game over. Even though I might have taken a lot of wrong turns and looking back now, maybe they weren’t wrong turns after all? Maybe they were the turns I was supposed to be taking trying to get me to my destination. I’m glad I climbed those steep hills and made wrong turns or hit dead ends and had to turn around. Those hiccups or struggles I faced is what’s turning me into the person I was meant to become.

More Work To Be Done 

I wouldn’t change anything. I’m not ready to reach my destination yet, I’m only starting to live. Now, in this case, my destination is my career and what my purpose in life is. But my final destination, I’m not ready for that yet and trying to stay as far away from that as possible.

Sometimes in life, we take wrong turns, we get lost and well it sucks and it’s not fun. If we take a wrong turn or get lost, sometimes it takes us to something beautiful that we never expected or would have guessed we would ever see.

Keep Moving Forward   

If you took a wrong turn recently for example. Then embrace it and think about where you are right now? Recognize a couple of things. You’re still alive, you didn’t reach your final destination that’s good. You’re still moving and you’re still trying your best every day and you didn’t give up. That’s very important you can’t give up and just quit. What if you just stopped where you are? But one mile down the road on your left is the Swiss Alps and all you see is miles and miles of mountains and snow with open fields and flowers below?

If your picturing that like I am then that would be a beautiful picture if you ask me. Who wouldn’t want to see that? Imagine if your upset at what happened and you turn into this view. That would be a sweet reward for getting lost and supposedly making a wrong turn, wouldn’t it?

My Journey Through 31 Days

Enjoy The Ride 

With that don’t be too hard on yourself for making a wrong turn or getting lost. Now I can say that now because I lived through it, I’ve been there and I have taken those “wrong turns” many times. But again, I don’t think those were wrong turns that I took.

I want to enjoy myself and have fun why I can. After all, we only get one shot at life, we should live it up and have fun. Have fun and make the most of your life and help people along the way. That should be the goal for us all. Sometimes you need to cut out the noise around you, turn your GPS off and follow your heart. What is it deep, down inside of you that you want to pursue? What do you have a calling to do? Maybe your still searching and that’s ok. I’m 29 and I’m still searching and feel like I have only just begun. 

Ruts Are Killer

Stay Away

Ruts are killer and dangerous. They can ruin your life and hurt your goals and potential by doing the same thing dad after day, week after week. If you get caught up doing the same bad habits that aren’t going to help you in the world and help you grow to become a better person then no good can come from it.

I have been in a rut hundreds of times over the years and let me tell you they are not fun. Doing the same thing every day religiously can be very bad. Especially if you’re not in a good place or you’re not happy and feeling good about yourself.

Something New

I’m in a rut right now.  Now don’t get me wrong I’m very happy and blessed. But when I say rut what I’m really referencing is my workouts. I haven’t really been feeling it the last month, month and a half.

I know I need to shake it up, and shake it up I must. Now part of the reason why I haven’t been enjoying my workouts as much as I have in my past. Well, I want to write that’s all I want to do every morning. When I go to the gym after about 30 maybe 45 minutes I look at my watch and think I’ve done enough.

Not Always Bad

Now physically that’s not good because I’ve been slacking with my workouts and not pushing myself as hard as I know I could be and should be pushed. I love being challenged and I love sweating and feeling tired and good after a workout and proud of what I have done the last hour or however long. I haven’t felt that for a long time.

Now a plus with that and a good thing with that is I have been getting a lot more writing done on my books. So, it’s not a complete loss haha. I’m still very productive and always am every day. It’s just on the physical side, I haven’t pushed myself as hard as I should be.

Time for A Change

That’s why I’m starting a challenge tomorrow. It’s my 29th bday today, so I have one more day of freedom haha. I will be doing a challenge called #75Hard.

  • Work out twice a day for 45 minutes one workout must be outside
  • Drink a gallon of water a day
  • No cheat meals
  • No alcohol and I like my Merlot
  • Read 10 pages a day of a self-improving book
  • Progress pic daily

Will it be fun absolutely and I can’t wait. I wanted to start earlier but with my birthday I decided to do it after. Will it suck, probably, I have never done anything like this before. Is it going to be challenging absolutely, but that’s what I need? I need a good change of pace.

Early Bird

I started getting up earlier every morning to read a couple of pages in whatever book I’m reading. Then I work on my book till Lindsay wakes up. It ranges from 45 minutes to an hour in the morning and then I have breakfast and do my devotions. I feel better doing that because I don’t like sleeping in.

Getting up a little earlier helps me to accomplish a couple of things before the day really even starts. I think that’s a positive way to start the day doing a couple of productive things in the morning.

What About You

Are you in a rut? Now a rut could be anything. For me, it happens to be the gym. That’s why I’m happy I found this challenge and it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I needed something new and I needed to be tested, challenged especially mentally.

If you are in a rut, what is it? Do you know you’re in a rut and just lying to yourself and trying to hide it? That’s not good and will only hurt yourself down the road. For me, I knew I was in a rut for a while I just didn’t know what to do to mix it up.

Now thankfully I heard about this challenge from one of my favorite podcasts. That’s what you need is something to kick your butt to test you and push you. That’s where a lot of people get it wrong nowadays. They see something challenging or hard and just give up and don’t even try, that my friends is sad.

A Much Needed Change

I have dealt with a lot of challenges over the years, realistically I’m sure we all have. Well if you haven’t had any challenges or struggles or any setbacks, then honestly what are you doing with yourself and your life? That’s how you grow and that’s how you find yourself and see what you’re made of.

It took me a long time to realize that. If I want to better myself and challenge myself then I need to do the things I’m not good at. From a young age, I always thought that was a stupid mindset. Well, as I got older I started to pick up and follow that stupid mindset and challenge myself.

Weaknesses to Strengths

Now, look at me. I have been married for almost six months. It’s crazy how fast that’s going already. I’m a published author and working on finishing four more books currently. The goal is to get one if not two hopefully done later this year.

Challenges are what makes you. Your struggles are how you find what you’re capable of. Ruts on the other hand that’s what kills you and your dreams and goals. When you start to recognize you’re not happy and doing the same thing over and over. Take a step back and look at what you’re doing.

If you’re in a rut then change it right away. If you don’t then you will be holding yourself from your potential growth and preventing yourself from getting to where you were ultimately supposed to be. That is a big loss and a big mistake. That my friends is a wasted life.