Preparing For Life

Ask Yourself

Have you ever prepared for anything really important before? Say studying for a test, practicing before the championship game the day before? Preparing For Life is vital to living your life. 

I read a book a few months ago. He talked about preparing for life. Some of the examples he mentioned were before a storm hits you have batteries for flashlights. Your practicing foul shots before the championship game. Studying before a big test. 

What’s Ahead

If you’re not preparing for the big event coming up what usually happens? You lose the game, you fail the test, you have flashlights but with dead batteries. We’ll none of that dose you much good. But sometimes I think it’s important for us to go through those tough obstacles and struggles in life. Going up those hills, climbing that steep mountain when were very vulnerable and feel lost and lonely is what helps turn us into the person we are meant to become. 

Life is the same thing. If you’re not preparing yourself and getting ready for what life might throw at you one day then you will be in trouble. Will it always be bad stuff, no. But in most cases, if you aren’t prepared it can turn into bad situations.

I Learned The Hard Way

How I prepared for life is the complete opposite of what you want. You don’t want to just go with the flow and let whatever happens good or bad happen to you. Now in some situations and circumstances that might be your only option. But in most cases, that’s not good or healthy.

But what I did was just that, I didn’t follow what I just told you. Then again, I’m 29 now and have gone through a lot of different situations in my life. Now is there more for me to learn, absolutely I have a lot more to go through. That’s a good thing because if you’re not growing you’re not pushing yourself and not getting better then you were? Your content and playing it safe. Also known as dying and not living up to your potential and that my friends is a shame and a waste of a life.

Don’t Do This

When I was younger and searching for my potential and waiting on God to give me a sign I realized what I was doing wrong. Now having some help from family over the years and having conversations with different members of my family I realized that was the wrong mindset. Waiting for God to make the next move was wrong. In some cases, that’s what you’re supposed to do. But I have been waiting long enough and not doing anything why I was waiting.

In all reality, I was doing the complete opposite of that. But that’s life, you learn from your mistakes, you grow and start all over the next day. Now is it frustrating and hard sometimes, absolutely and it sucks and I just want to break something or punch something like when I was younger and I would get upset? I would want to run away thinking that would help my situation and life get easier.

Your Outlook Towards Life

The examples you read above never helped my situations that I have been in over the years. Honestly, I think it hurt me sometimes. I was looking for a mask, I was looking for a way to cover and hide the issues that I have been struggling with for so long. The biggest and best way to learn from your issues and mistakes you go through is to stand up, dust yourself off and take that first step.

If you stay on the ground and pout and cry and pity yourself, what good comes from that? But, if you stand up then you count that as a win and a good first step. Then you go to the next thing and so on. Next thing you know you won’t just be walking. You will be sprinting and more excited about what’s in front of you and waiting.

Never Stop Working

Who knows if you keep sprinting and working hard you might be doing stuff you never expected. Maybe publish a book and overcome a weakness that you struggled with as a kid.

You never know if just being a little vulnerable and getting out of your comfort zone what it will do for you personally but also for the person or people your talking to? What if they are struggling like you were at one time in your life? Now you can’t do the work for them. Not because your bitter and nobody did the work for you. It’s because how will they learn and get better unless they do the work themselves?

Preparing For Life is a never ending project that you are on every day. It will be challenging, it will be frustrating but when it’s all said and done. If you do it right and your heart is in the right place. I think there is no other feeling compared to it.

Keep Your Head Up  

Lindsay knows how much I love her and that I have thanked God I don’t even know how many times for putting her in my life. But if I’m given the opportunity to help a kid or adult that is struggling and down and searching like I was or still am a little bit. If I’m able to lend a hand somehow and help them to get better and climb out of that funk. I don’t think there are many other things in the world that could top that.

That’s why if your down and struggling, that’s ok that’s normal. I still have my days even now. But the biggest thing you have to remember. Is to try and stay positive, it’s not always going to be easy. Pick yourself up again and take that first step and never stop Preparing For Life. If you do it right, who know’s what it will bring you? 

Your Worst Vs There Best

Ups and Downs

Have you ever had bad days, what about good days? Have you ever had days that you wished lasted a little longer or maybe have gone by a little faster? I’m sure this next part you have NEVER done in your life. Have you ever compared yourself to somebody else? What if I told you that’s unfair and your only seeing half of the story? Would you believe me if I told you that you might be comparing your worst vs there best?

We all have bad days and good days welcome to life, my friends. It’s easy to want to quit sometimes. Unfortunately, I have thought that more times than I would like to admit when I was working on my books over the years.

I Changed

I can’t do this I’m dyslexic. I’m stupid and not smart. I have the same IQ as a kid half my age. If you couldn’t tell that doesn’t help with one’s confidence very well. It makes you want to climb into a hole and never come out. But here’s the thing if you go deep enough into the hole what do you think you will miss? The answer is everything.

I look back and think to myself why I’m home alone writing this. I hear the rain in the background and I think back to when I was a kid. Storms scared me when I was younger. Now I think they are awesome and I love hearing them. What do you think changed? The storms are the same, I matured and got older and realized the storms aren’t as bad as I thought.

Make The Most Of It

Just like in life and your storms you can look at the same way. Storms and your life are what you make of them. If you let storms and life scare you and control you, guess what will happen? You will be scared of life, you will be scared to live and be controlled by something more powerful than you. I’m not saying go jump in a storm to feel alive and start living, that’s not it. The point is recognizing what you’re going through and how it can make you better.

I’m letting you know if you’re in a slump and it’s raining, then make the most of your situation. Try and look at the glass half full and collect that water and maybe put it to good use. Don’t just compare yourself to what the world is showing you. Or that certain person your seeing and stocking on social media. You’re only seeing what they want you to see and what they are willing to share with you.

You’re Calling

Comparing yourself at your worst vs there best when they are on the top of their game is just not fair. Yes, it’s easy to get caught up and look at that person? Look how successful they are, I wish I had what they had. Heres the thing people you can have what they have, all you have to do is work for it.

Just because that person might be at the top of their game, it doesn’t mean you can’t be there one day. Now when I say one day that could be a year from now or five years. It all depends on what you decide to put into that dream of yours and opportunity that was placed in front of you.

What Are You Going To Do

If you feel a calling and you feel it down in your gut then please don’t brush that off. When I started writing at 21 the moment I started to move my pencil I started to get that special feeling in my gut thinking something is different right now, I never felt this feeling before. I didn’t know what it was but I kept writing and kept going with it.

Now at 29 I look back and realize what that feeling was. I know it’s still early and I have a lot more work to put in and a lot more growing to do. But that feeling was purpose and passion. I have been searching and searching for my reason to be alive. I have been searching for years for my WHY and questioning God for most of my life up to that point and now looking back I think I found it.

Your Story

Who would have thought writing would be the first stepping stone into my purpose? Not me haha. From a young age I always dreamed and felt in my gut I was going to do something special, I just didn’t know what that was. Now I’m human is it easy to compare yourselves to others, of course, and I’m wrong for that sometimes. Especially when it’s your worst vs there best then your not going to win.

I want to tell you it’s ok and you don’t have to do that. We all have different stories and different backgrounds. We all have different gifts and strengths that we were blessed with. Are some of us going to make a bigger impact in the world, yes some will? Are some going to die at a young age, and not be given the same amount of time here on earth yes, they will? I know it sucks but that’s just how it is, unfortunately.

It’s Up To You

Now that you know that. What are you going to do with your life and your time? Are you going to keep comparing your worst vs there best like most of us do, myself included sometimes? Or are you going to recognize we are only seeing half of the picture and half of their story? There is more out there to their story. Here’s the thing, theirs more in your story as well, it’s waiting to be shared with the world. Now keep going and finish your book of life and go take that chance and chase your dream and make the most of your short stint here on earth why you can.

Walking In Fear

The Struggle

Have you ever been scared of something? Dumb question of course you have. Have you ever been so scared of something that you didn’t want to do that thing and regretted not trying? For me, I have been walking in fear for most of my life. But in my mid 20s, some things started to change for me.

Going back, I was so focused on graduating from high school and thinking it would get easier, I was wrong. I started working and trying to figure out what was next and who Peter was and is supposed to become. I was scared to take chances because it seemed like I failed and kept falling so much when I was younger. What if I succeeded and everything changes for me? That would be awesome but it would be different, it would be new. Who am I kidding, I can’t succeed. My messed up mind has a controlled me for so long.

I’m Very Stubbern

My walk along this journey has been a lonely walk. Here’s the thing, I was never really by myself that whole time when I felt alone. I’ve never been alone, it was my mind telling me that. I have had my parents, family, and friends with me the whole time. The only difference they were behind me why I was walking in fear. All I had to do was stop and wait for them to catch up, but I didn’t want to, my stubbornness kept pushing me. I felt like I had to take on this journey by myself.

In most cases, I have been my worst enemy and biggest opponent. I’m not proud of that, but I think that mindset helped me to overcome and realize it was my mind feeding me these lies my whole life. None of it is true. I wasn’t a mistake. I do have potential.

What’s Confidence

When I hear the word confidence, I know that word doesn’t belong next to my name. I don’t have much confidence in myself. That’s been a struggle my whole life. I’ve always struggled to believe in myself. Even with that struggle and lack of belief in myself, I never stopped working. Now, look at what I’m doing? I don’t say that to brag, I say that because it’s real and shows just how wrong I am.

Everything I have in my life I had to work for. I always thought God screwed me up, nope, he just made me a little different. If I wanted to ask a girl out. I would picture who I was and see what I saw through her eyes and didn’t like it. Now I’ve been married for over nine months to my beautiful wife.

Mind Games

I still have my struggles and I hope and pray I can concur these struggles one day. I’m lucky to have Lindsay in my life and I know I don’t say it enough. Some days I wonder why me, what did she see in me that first time we met at Starbucks? I always go to the negative and look at my fears, my faults or failures. In most cassese, I try and be a glass half full kind of guy. But when it comes to myself, it’s a half-empty point of view.

Seeing myself from her eyes, what did she see? A 28-year-old who didn’t go to college barely graduated high school. Went from job to job over the years searching for his why. One day when we have kids they will need help with homework or need help studying for a test. What if they need help spelling words. Hearing those words, dad can you help me with my homework? That scares the crap out of me and makes me want to run away. Because I already know what I’m going to say. Go ask your mom, she will do a better job.

My fears kick in again. In the back of my mind, I’m thinking Peter don’t you help your kids, what if you spell a word wrong because you suck at spelling and that affects their grade? I struggled enough in school, I don’t want them to take after me in that category.

The Real Me

That’s just a few different examples of walking in fear and how toxic it is. Are those happy examples, no, of course not? Do they put me in a good mood, no. I get pissed off thinking about it and that’s when my anger comes out and I need to let out my frustration?

We handle every situation differently. Even with me walking in these fears. I have never felt prouder and more motivated to keep doing what I’m doing. What I’m trying to do now with my books, speaking or just sharing what I’m doing. What you get from me and what I’m sharing with you is how real I am and not just my best moments.

Dont Settle

I never thought I would have the life I have right now. Well, news flash Peter, it’s here and I have never been happier. I don’t want to lose what I have been trying to build for years and now with Lindsay’s help. She believes in me more than I do. I can’t fail her and let her down. That’s more than enough motivation I need. That gives me the courage to not suck it up and tuck away my fears and struggles as I used to when I was younger. I’m recognizing what I’m struggling with and still struggle with. But here I am world and I’m not quitting and leaving. I’m still walking and will always be moving forward, even if I have to crawl.

Those people that I could hopefully help one day, are also helping me. Those are the people that are helping me to walk with peace through my fears. I still might be scared somedays, but I’m not giving up and neither can you. Embrace walking in fear, that might mean your getting close toward your purpose?

My Keystone

My Definition

The definition of Keystone is “a central stone at the summit of an arch, locking the whole together”. Maybe another keystone you thought of was Pennsylvania back in the day. Now I’m going to share with you what my keystone is.

If I had to pick one or two words that describe my keystones in my life, I would probably pick determination and passion. I think those would be the top choices for me. 15 plus years ago. I didn’t have much determination or passion in my life. I had a passion for sports, I’m very athletic and that was something I always looked forward to doing. But looking back now, I don’t think I tried as hard as I could have.

I Get It Now

I didn’t like school, I didn’t know what I wanted to do after graduation. The only thing I knew was I wasn’t going to college and I couldn’t wait to get out of graduation. I was so uncomfortable, I felt like a loser and I just wanted to get my diploma and keep walking right out the door.

I’m very lucky, I have had amazing people around me when I was in school. I was very lucky and I get it now, I didn’t back then. I had both parents and a great family. I never had a teacher that said you will never grow up to achieve anything special or great with your life. You will be a loser and you will fail and your dyslexia will always hold you back. Thankfully I never had that. But in my mind and the back of my head, I wish I would have.

I Wasn’t Ready

I didn’t want to go back to my school or a reunion because I felt like a loser and I was worthless. Maybe other people didn’t feel that way about me, but it doesn’t matter. In this case, it matters what I think. I didn’t feel good enough for the world and felt like a waste to society. If I wanted to be successful and I wanted to be. Then I need to work harder and change some things, so I did.

In my early 20’s I wanted money because I thought that’s what defined your worth and your success. Yes, it might play a small part, and be one of the sides on your plate, but that’s not the main dish. I created in the back of my head the kind of story that athletes or self-made successful people have. Some of them had the people around them say they wouldn’t do anything great, then what, they went on to do smooth great. I didn’t have that, but I used my mindset to create a life with those words spoken to me.

I Finally Found It

I was my own critic and biggest enemy against myself. I pushed myself to do something with my life. If I wanted to be successful then I have to change a lot, and it won’t be easy. If I want to be a published author then I have to work. If I want to be successful then I have to do the stuff I don’t like or am not very good at or enjoy. I had to grow and get out of my comfort zone. This bubble of mine I was in that was protecting me from the real world. I had to pop that sucker and take a chance and free myself.

That’s why my keystone is so important. My passion is what helped me take my writing more seriously and try and take it down a path I never expected in my life. Now I’m a published author and will be publishing my second book with my wife later this year.

Determination is the other part of my keystone in my life. My passion helped me to get a taste for writing and how free and alive I felt for the first time in a long time. When I was writing I was happy, I was creating something and using my God-given talent that I believe he gave me. When I was writing in my early 20’s that is the first time I think I had that feeling that this is what my calling is and what God wants me to do. My determination helped push me towards a career that I never thought would actually happen. It helped push me to do stuff I never thought I would be doing in my life.

Never Pictured This

A few weeks ago, I spoke at Lindsay’s old church that she grew up in. Now if you remember I had three main goals that I had in my life. The first was to get married I never thought that would happen. A few days ago, I just celebrated nine months. Now I just spoke at my wife’s old church, how crazy is that? The second was to become an author. 76 days after getting married in 2018 I published my first book. My top two goals in a matter of almost three months. My third goal is to become a dad, well hopefully one day if I’m lucky but not yet haha. That scares me more than my first two goals combined.

With that, I challenge you to find your keystone. It doesn’t have to just be one thing, I picked two. This is for you. The point of this is to challenge you and find what helps you every day to keep going and what’s important to you in life. My determination and passion are key ingredients in pushing me in life and pushing me out of my comfort zone. If I don’t have those two then I feel I don’t have purpose and meaning in life. I finally feel like I’m living now and I don’t feel like a zombie anymore. Those two words were the backbone for helping me improve and better my life. What’s your keystone?

New Opportunities

What Would You Do

If a new opportunity was placed in front of you or somebody offered a special opportunity for you what would you do? Before you jump to any conclusions. You need to know this first then you can answer. You might get tested and placed in an atmosphere that will take you way out of your comfort zone and making you do something you never thought was possible. Would you do it?

What if you would have to be very vulnerable and open up about your personal life? What if it would do better in the world and you might be able to help people? Now, if you stayed quiet and kept all of that information in front of you that you learned and experienced and didn’t share it you might have lost the opportunity to help people and make a positive impact on people’s lives. That would be very sad and unfortunate if you ask me.

New Me

If you would have asked my old self I would have said, no thanks I’m good with where I am I don’t need that thanks. Now if you ask me now and the future me I believe I was meant for this. How I would respond to that question is like this. I’m nervous, this is definitely out of my comfort zone but I feel it in my gut and my heart that I was meant to do this. Me being this vulnerable and sharing what I’m sharing now or in the future, whenever the opportunity comes. I feel if I’m not willing to accept new opportunities and embrace what comes my way then I have failed and missed out in the world.

That’s why I’m excited about what the future holds and what I believe I’m meant to do. Am I swimming in a pool of money like duck tales, no not even close? Have I reached a million people with my book or my blog, not even close?

No, my book has not made the best sellers list, and at the moment it’s not even in the same zip code. I have sold 81 books in the last four months I haven’t even hit 100 yet. But more importantly, I’m grateful and blessed that I had the opportunity to even sell that many. That’s not including the books I have sent to libraries or given people trying to connect with them and reach out to them. You know what I’m ok with that because that’s all part of the journey.

I’m Not Average

This journey and path that you and I are on every day. It doesn’t matter how similar or different it is. We all are on our unique path and are all meant for something unique and great in our own way. When I was younger I never thought great or even good was in my vocabulary. I never thought I could be good, I was average or below average my whole life. That was normal life for me and that’s all I knew.

I have learned different things from my parents over the years. I’m grateful for everything they have done for me and helping me over the years. Now they have helped me a lot over the years and more than I probably have realized or thanked them for. But in all honesty, they might have helped me a lot and they definitely did. But what I wanted to pursue and do in my life and what has been forming in my gut. I’m the one that wanted to write books. I’m the one that has sent over 250 emails to agents trying to represent me. I felt this burning desire to create something from scratch and wanted to put my crazy story out into the world.

Enjoy The Ride

I know how hard I worked to get where I am today. I know I have way more to learn. Now that I’m married and self-published my book. Those were my top goals in my life that I created in my early 20s. Achieving those two goals have given me more drive and more purpose than I ever thought I might have.

The last few months I have been getting up around 5:15 Monday-Friday so I can read for 30 to 40 minutes and write for the remaining time until Lindsay wakes up. People I like to sleep, getting up early sucks, I won’t lie about it. But what sucks, even more, is the feeling I didn’t give my very best and I could have done better or tried harder.

No Regrets

When I get older and turn 40 or 50 whatever the age. I don’t want to look back and think, crap, I wish I would have made more out of the opportunities that were placed in front of me. I wish I would have told one more person about my book, contacted one more school about my book. If only I could have tried a little harder.

NO, I want to pause, look back and think to myself. I worked my freaking tail off and look at what I did. Look at how hard I worked and looked at what was placed in front of me no matter how good or how bad and look how I reacted to that opportunity or lesson that was placed in front of me. That’s the mindset you need. That’s how you need to look at your life and what’s been placed at your feet. That’s the kind of life you should want.

Embrace what’s happening and run throw that wall or struggle that’s in front of you. You don’t want that wall of struggles or conflicts to fall on you and hold you down. It starts with a new opportunity being placed in front of you. Then it’s your mindset that will take you to the next stage. Follow your heart, and follow your gut and make the most of your life why you still can.

Passion vs Profits

The Battle

For years even when I was in middle school and high school I always thought profits and money were all that mattered. If you had money then you would be considered successful and you made it in life. A couple of years ago I realized how wrong that mindset of mine was and how it made me focus on the wrong thing. The battle of passion vs profits begins.

As a Christian, I always struggled with money and focusing on the right thing from a young age. It’s wrong to have money and be wealthy, that means you’re not focusing on the right things. I realized that is the wrong attitude towards money.

I had it all wrong. There is nothing wrong with money and nothing wrong with having a lot of it. Now it’s what we do with the profits and what we spend it on or how we get money is what might be questionable.

Storyteller

When I first started working on my first book I thought to myself. Alright, I’m going to be an author create books for people and to help them escape from the real world and fall into this made up world I created for them. I read an article about Tom Clancy a couple of days ago and loved what he said.

I told stories to take people away from driving trucks or fixing toilets or whatever they do.

Before that sentence, he considered himself a storyteller, not a writer. Now yes, I call myself a writer now because I am. I write books and blog posts now. But what got me into writing was creating something bigger than Peter.

What didn’t get me into writing was money. Yes, I know the money could possibly be endless with writing. If I write a good book and people like it well then, more people will buy it. Seems pretty straight forward haha. Now I wanted to write a good book that has a good story that people can enjoy, that’s obvious. What I didn’t want is to write a good book that people enjoy and want to read to fill my own pockets.

My Goal

It’s crazy how things change in a short amount of time. When I was younger I was searching for money and trying to make a lot of it. Now that I’m entering this new field and world I’m in the money is endless and it doesn’t drive me. Don’t get me wrong, a goal of mine is to be able to do this full time and have writing books and speaking my full-time job. That is still a big goal for me that I’m working on and trying to accomplish.

A goal of mine that I made at 25 was to sell a million copies of my book in my life. Now if I published a book and charged it $9.99 and I only get $1 of commission for each book sold. I would have still ended up with a million books sold and earned, how cool is that?

New Mindset

My dad said one day when he saw this goal in my room on my dry erase board. Pete, with what your trying to do with your books and help kids and young adults. Maybe you shouldn’t focus on selling a million copies. Maybe you should focus on reaching a million people? He then dropped the mic and left my room. It was crazy, where did he even get a mic? Ok, I lied about the mic part haha.

Ever sense he said that it completely changed my mindset. Money is not why I wanted to be a writer to sell books as a business and make as much money as possible. Writing and storytelling is what got me started. That’s where my hunger came from with wanting to pursue this new opportunity and passion of mine.

My Imagination

Sometimes when you start something new, I’m guessing you never thought crap, I wish I would have done things differently? No, that thought probably never crossed your mind haha. That’s when everything changed for me. Realizing my original goal and what I did. I quickly changed my goal on my board, and that quickly changed my mindset and work ethic.

Now do I want my books to sell, well yes, of course, I won’t deny that or lie about it. But the reason why I want my books to sell now is to be able to reach people with my words and stories. I want my imagination to grab their attention and see what I have created. That’s more important to me now than what’s in their pockets to pay for my books.

My Journey

Starting out I might have been a little more focused on the money side. Because starting out this isn’t a cheap hobby haha. I know once I make some money and reimburse Lindsay and myself with the money we put into starting this journey. When we become even it will change again, but for the better.

Don’t be afraid to admit you made a mistake. It’s ok to say that your original goal needs changed and fixed. I recognized my mistake and I changed it and edited it and fixed my problem. I’m ok with that and I feel much better about what I did and the changes I have made.

Now, will it always be that easy or simple no, of course not. Will it take time and some adjustments, well yes of course but that’s ok. What’s most important is you find something more important than profits? What I found was a passion  and purpose. Now I believe writing and my unique story is going to lead me into what I was ultimately put here to do and created to do. Will it be hard? Absolutely, it already is, but that’s all part of my unique journey that I’m on every day.

What You Say You Are

Not Good

Over the years I have developed a lot of bad habits. Some of those habits are, lacking confidence, thinking I’m a loser. Who would ever want to marry me? Always thinking I was stupid, you name it and I thought it. I learned from a young age what you say to yourself you are. What I have been saying to myself for most of my life was not good.

I never believed in myself from a young age and always thought I was a bum, and couldn’t accomplish anything without other people helping me. I always knew with my learning disability that was going to hold me back one day I just didn’t know how bad it would have been or how much of an impact it actually would have had on myself. Well let me tell you I was wrong and I completely miss judged that scenario haha.

Not Happening

At this point in my life, I never thought I would be in this situation that I’m in. This life I wake up to every day was always a dream, and I never thought I would have it. I know its wrong and not healthy and I know I need to fix it if I want to be happy and have a healthy life.

Having this heavy burden of thinking I was a mistake when God created me. Well, it’s not healthy and not good. From a young age, I always wanted to escape this pain I was putting myself through. I always thought I would die at a young age because of stress. For most of my life, I have always been my worst enemy and still struggle with this to this day sometimes.

What Do I Have

I know that mindset is wrong and again not healthy. I have so many amazing people around me and I’m truly blessed and I mean that I’m very lucky. But I have been broken for so long and still have my moments to this day.

I have been telling myself for a long time I don’t deserve Lindsay and I always think to myself why is she with me? Naturally, she doesn’t like hearing this haha. She has a successful career that she has been in for years and has a house, dog, and cats before I was even in the picture.

My Issues

I was living with my parents, no college degree and jumped from job to job trying to find my career and purpose. All I could think about is why me, what can I do for her? With my side effects and personal issues that I battle every day. Most people’s issues or problems they come across might be in there daily living. For me, that battle is inside my head daily.

That’s why it’s so important what you feed yourself daily. All I ever wanted was to be used for something positive and fulfill my destiny and purpose in life. I just didn’t know what that was. My whole life, I kept to myself because of embarrassment and being ashamed of my LD. That messed me up from a young age.   

Look What You Can Do

Now, look at what I accomplished in the last seven years. I published a book and written and finished two other books. I’m in the rough draft stage of two more books. I have read over 55 books in a little over five years.

I’ll be honest I still don’t like reading and it’s still a struggle to this day. What I do like is finding out people’s story and where they came from and seeing what they accomplished.

Yes, I still have a lot of personal baggage and personal battles I’m still facing and trying to overcome at this moment. I’m stubborn and used my sarcasm and humor as a shield and a mask ever since I could remember. Seeing people laugh or helping make them laugh always made me happier because if they were happier than they would be less likely being down or upset like I was.

One Opportunity

In the end, I wouldn’t change a thing. We are only given one life and one chance to live. This was all put in front of me for a reason. I wouldn’t get rid of my LD because of the hard times I had. That helped turn me into the person I was always meant to become.

I’ve turned my biggest weakness into a new opportunity in life. I was scared of reading and writing for most of my life and now I’m trying to enter that field as my future career. What does that tell you? I’m very stubborn or crazy haha, news flash, I’m both.

That stubbornness of mine is what helped form me into who I am today. I’m not a quitter anymore like I once was. I do have a purpose and I was created for a reason. All of those lies I have been feeding myself my whole life was just that, LIES.

Healthy Thoughts

It’s time I stop listening to my brain that I’m still fighting and battling with daily. Now is the time I start listening to my heart and doing the things I want to do. I want to write books and help young people. I don’t have a college degree and I just squeaked by graduating from high school. Up till the time when I met Lindsay, I didn’t know if I had a future. The moment we met was the moment my life changed.

Now I want to help YOU. I’m not saying I have all the answers or I am the answer. All I’m trying to do and share with you is embrace YOU. You don’t have to hide anymore. If I can do it, so can you and If I can find happiness and love with how broken I was for so long, so can you. If I can feel purpose and meaning in my life for the first time, so can you and I believe I can help.

86,400 Seconds In A Day

Eye Opener

When you wake up every morning what do you think to yourself? Crap I have to get up. I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to do this or that. Whatever your reason is it doesn’t matter. You have 86,400 seconds a day and what you do with that time will be gone at the end of the day and you can never get it back.

The other week I was in a little funk for a couple of days and depressed a little bit. I think the main reason why is because I just published my book a little over a month ago. Which is still weird saying that. But yet at the same time, it’s pretty freaking sweet haha.

I worked on that book for 12 and a half days of my life in the last four years. Now like that I’m done with the writing and formatting and bringing that book to life. Now I’m in a different phase with it.

Amazing Support

I have sold over 50 books which is pretty crazy thinking about that still. I’ll be grateful for every book I ever sell, I know it will always be a blessing. But I know it’s not enough. I knew this was going to be a hard business to get into.

I’m beyond grateful that I have my wife and so many amazing people around me cheering me on and helping me achieve and do what I’m trying to do. I also put a lot of pressure on myself and sometimes, ok most of the time I over think things. I focus too much on the end goal and I miss the moment I’m in.

I’m Blessed

I was so focused on trying to sell my books and to share my story with people. Get on podcasts and do whatever I need to do, that I forgot one important detail. I forgot to enjoy what I accomplished and take in what I did and how rare it is to publish a book.

That’s where I am now. Every morning God wakes me up and I’m able to get out of bed is a blessing. Now every full day I see from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to sleep I should take that as a gift and a blessing. Because not everybody wakes up.

Yes, I might be a little stressed right now trying to figure out my website, selling my book and promoting it. Trying to turn a hobby into an actual business now.

Don’t Stop

I know in this funk I haven’t enjoyed those 86,400 seconds like I know I should. Now, will I always enjoy every second of course not? I will have good days and bad. I know I need to get back to where I was and where I know I should be. Enjoying my new life I entered in only a couple months ago.

I’m happily married. I’m now a published author. I have the opportunity to turn my dreams into a reality. How awesome is that? Now when I’m given the opportunity I need to make the most of it.

If they can’t see the passion and how serious I am in my voice or on my face then I messed up and failed. Yes, is this going to be fun absolutely, well I hope haha? Will I be terrified or freaked out if I talk to a group of people about my story or book? Yes, it will freak me out. But I didn’t say I won’t do it.

I Want To Help

Yes, it will scare me, but it’s because I care and I want to help people now. I’m an introvert at heart. My past, how can I say this? Well, it screwed me up. My battle that I have every single day between my ears the last 20+ years of my life has truly put a number on me and kept me down a long time.

I’m just being honest. I was broken for a long time, I didn’t think there was any light for me at the end of the tunnel. I always believed I was meant for something special. But in all reality, I always thought I was just blowing smoke and just hoping for something special to happen for me.

I Woke Up

Well, news flash people, that something special happened and it didn’t happen when I published my book. It didn’t happen when I married Lindsay, all though that truly was amazing and a blessing. That special moment happened when I stopped feeding myself lies every day and decided to make a change.

I decided to stop all of the lies and thinking I was a mistake that slipped through the cracks when God created me. The moment I realized I was created for a purpose, is the moment when I started to live again and taste purpose for the first time. Publishing my book and marrying Lindsay were my top two goals. But what woke me up is that one day everything came together I finally decide to change my life and make something of the remaining seconds I have left.

Start Living

I stopped worrying about the seconds I lost with all of the days and years behind me and started focusing on the new seconds that are waiting for me. There are a lot of people that I truly think my story could benefit them. Now, will it change their life, maybe, I don’t know? That’s not for me to decide that’s for that person to decide.

I don’t know how many seconds I have remaining. But I do know with my new mindset I never wanted to start living more than I do now. That’s why everything happens for a reason. This disability God gave me, I now feel like I’m using it the way he always intended. Sharing my unique story and helping kids and young adults to start living for the first time.

Take In What You Accomplished

The Struggle

Every now and then I think it’s important that we take in what you accomplished. Not in an, I’m better than you kind of way. It’s more of a reality check and a refresher you could say. Thinking wow did I really do that? Thinking to yourself how crazy it is as you smile thinking of what you just accomplished now.

For me, there’s a lot to look back on and take a second and think to myself. I have written four books in seven years and read 52 books in five years. I started my own website and have been blogging for almost two years. I’m starting to come out of my comfort zone and safe zone and sharing with the world a day in the life of an LD kid.

Opening Up

Sharing my story and my background with my disability throughout my life was not easy to do. Honestly, I did not want to do this. I was very hesitant and scared to do it. Scared is an understatement, I was freaking out and it scared the crap out of me.

My disability has turned me into an introvert from a young age. Yes, I have some extrovert qualities but at the end of the day, I’m an introvert. I decided as I was journaling about my life and experience in Peru over four years ago. I should turn this into something. My book was born and here we are over four years later. Honestly, I was more scared about publishing my book and blog then I was purposing to Lindsay and on our wedding day as funny as that is.

When I made my website go live and I told people at that time almost two years ago that was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. Now when I upload my book to Amazon that was the new scariest thing I have ever done in my life. Yes, it freaks me out, but I’m also excited and pumped for people to read my story.

I’m Different

Now when I say my story I’m not saying my story is better or more interesting than yours. Well in all reality it probably is HAHA just kidding. My story is just different and unique just like yours. We all have a unique story and it’s all a one of a kind. I’m just excited finally to share my faults and issues with the world and try and turn those negatives and burdens I have into positives.

Taking a second and looking back at what I have done. I sucked in school just snuck by with a C and D average if I was lucky. Struggling in life searching for meaning or purpose. Battling the ups and the downs of the world.

New Me

It’s 2019 I’m married to the love of my life. I have a house, a dog and a cat. This dyslexic what started out as a young boy to now 28 is now a published author. How cool is that? I took a weakness that I sucked at in school and was not fast or good with reading or writing. School was hell for me for my whole life. I have said it before school felt like a prison for me. Doing the same thing every day for years. Having the same negative attuited and mindset through every grade. I suck at school I’m not smart I’m stupid what’s the point?

With all of the issues I have, somehow someway I managed to turn my life around and pursued the one thing that scared me the most in my life. Pursue and chase my now dream career of becoming an author and sharing my personal story with the world. How funny is that?

My Calling

I tried avoiding reading and writing for as long as I could. In that time frame, it was like pulling teeth trying to get me to read and write. Now I have written four books totaling over 200,000 words. I have read 52 books in five years. This will be my 113 blog post. All of those posts I shoot for no more than 1,000 words per post. Now writing 1,000 words is a breeze for me. Even if I don’t have a topic I just start typing and go with the flow. That’s how I do my posts most of the time. Once I figure out my topic I don’t plan anything out. I just think about that topic, write and go.

The reason why this post is so personal for me is I still struggle with this to this day. Yes, I have done a lot in the last couple of years and or working on a lot also. It’s because I felt like I wasted so much time in my earlier years. Yes I know I was a kid and in my earlier 20’s trying to find myself and figure out what’s next. Even going through school, I used my LD as a get out of jail free card and treated it like I had a free pass to graduate. I now realized how lazy I was at times and now I know what I did wrong. That’s why I’m working so hard to make up for the time I lost.

Don’t Stop

I have a lot of big things I want to accomplish. I can’t slow down anymore and just try and sneak by like the old days. I’m dreaming big and whatever comes my way now I want to tackle it head on and not be afraid anymore like my past.

There’s no more coasting anymore. I have more books to publish and more books to write. There are millions of kids and young adults just like me. I think they need to hear my story. Not to impress them or say look at me. They need to know and finally understand what they are truly capable of doing themselves. Seeing what I did or am doing will hopefully be used as there guidance and help if they need it.

School Vs The Real World

My Sentence

School was hell for me and it felt like I was in prison the whole time. I know that’s dramatic but it’s true. I’m not talking about my time with friends or sports. In this post, it’s about the learning side of it for me.

Imagine this for a minute. Think of something you’re not good at or don’t like doing? Imagine from k-12, as the subjects got harder and more homework and tests came along. My reading and writing level were always a couple of years behind everyone else and I struggled to advance with my grade.

My Struggle

Now put yourself in my shoes. I’m a senior it’s my last year of school. Everyone is happy and excited ready to be done and move on. For me, I was more focused on not having to read in front of everyone or spell anything or get called on during class. I wanted to hide in the corner when it came time for class. Because my levels were the same as a middle school kid, even though I was four plus years older.

Now at 18 years old, that doesn’t really help one’s confidence level if a 14-year-old has the same skills as me? Naturally, you can understand why I hated school and it didn’t do anything for me. Actually, it did a lot for me I was wrong. But what it did for me was not positive and the complete opposite of what teachers or my parents probably wanted for me. It taught me to hate and resent myself even more than I already have.

More Motivated

What I have learned from my years in school is absolutely NOTHING. Now that’s not a stab at schools it’s just my experience with it. What I have learned in the last four years alone has taught me way more than I ever learned in school.

With no college degree, and just sneaking by passing high school. I’m now starting to realize that I don’t need school or a degree to feel better or help me in life. I mean, of course, it doesn’t hurt especially if you have a certain career you’re in or chasing.

I’m not your typical student. I have never been like everyone else and I never will be like everyone else. I have always been different than everyone else and I always will be. I’m 28 now and I’m finally starting to recognize who I am and the kind of person I am.

Thank You

All though I hated school and I didn’t get much out of it. I have never appreciated school so much in my life till right now at 28. I’m sure you weren’t expecting that haha. Because of my hatred toward school and not being good at school. With my disability, I have to read the same sentence or paragraph a few times if I get confused. Even to this day I still get pissed sometimes when I have to do that. Yes, I get upset but that’s just a weakness of mine and I have accepted it now. But it doesn’t mean I have to love it or be ok with it. That’s why I read so much now.

I have read 48 books in almost five years. Till the time I graduated you could probably count the number of books I read cover to cover on one hand. I don’t read for pleasure like some people, I still HATE reading. Well, I’m starting to get better with it haha. I know that might not make much sense with me finishing so many books now. Plus now writing so much and wanting to become an author and write for a career.

One Of A Kind

I know that’s, not your typical reasoning for wanting to read and write. But the reason why I read so much now and write so much now is because of my past. I’m doing it because reading no matter how slow I read or how much I still struggle with it, the pros will always outweigh the cons. That’s why I want to get better now, is because of my love-hate relationship with reading and writing. 

That’s why I’m, not your typical writer and author. You know at 28, I’m finally figuring out who I am and the kind of person I am and turning into. I’m ok with that because I don’t want to be like every other blogger or author. I’m seeing the world from a different perspective than most people.

I Learned Alot

Yes, I’m a late bloomer and that’s ok because we all go through different challenges and situations. Don’t focus on the people to your left and right, only focus on your path and where you want to go. That’s why at 28 I have now realized how much I appreciated school and will always be thankful for my hard times and experiences.

Those hard times taught me the definition of work over the years. I always had to work harder than most people. I have been below average and an underdog all of my life. That’s why I’m going to be successful now. Not because I want to prove people wrong and brag and say look at me look at what I accomplished, that’s not it at all.

My Unique Way

I’m looking forward to sharing with the world that all my life I have been on the lower half of the scale. I have accepted that now and realize that’s just how it is. But what I can’t accept anymore is my attitude of just aiming for average like most of my early life.

Just because I sucked in school that doesn’t mean I can’t make a difference and help people in the world. That is the exact reason why I’m doing this now. I want to show people that it doesn’t matter what your weaknesses are. There is always another way and another approach you can take to better yourself. You just have to find a way and make it happen and go after it.