School Vs The Real World

School Vs The Real World

My Sentence

School was hell for me and it felt like I was in prison the whole time. I know that’s dramatic but it’s true. I’m not talking about my time with friends or sports. In this post, it’s about the learning side of it for me.

Imagine this for a minute. Think of something you’re not good at or don’t like doing? Imagine from k-12, as the subjects got harder and more homework and tests came along. My reading and writing level were always a couple of years behind everyone else and I struggled to advance with my grade.

My Struggle

Now put yourself in my shoes. I’m a senior it’s my last year of school. Everyone is happy and excited ready to be done and move on. For me, I was more focused on not having to read in front of everyone or spell anything or get called on during class. I wanted to hide in the corner when it came time for class. Because my levels were the same as a middle school kid, even though I was four plus years older.

Now at 18 years old, that doesn’t really help one’s confidence level if a 14-year-old has the same skills as me? Naturally, you can understand why I hated school and it didn’t do anything for me. Actually, it did a lot for me I was wrong. But what it did for me was not positive and the complete opposite of what teachers or my parents probably wanted for me. It taught me to hate and resent myself even more than I already have.

More Motivated

What I have learned from my years in school is absolutely NOTHING. Now that’s not a stab at schools it’s just my experience with it. What I have learned in the last four years alone has taught me way more than I ever learned in school.

With no college degree, and just sneaking by passing high school. I’m now starting to realize that I don’t need school or a degree to feel better or help me in life. I mean, of course, it doesn’t hurt especially if you have a certain career you’re in or chasing.

I’m not your typical student. I have never been like everyone else and I never will be like everyone else. I have always been different than everyone else and I always will be. I’m 28 now and I’m finally starting to recognize who I am and the kind of person I am.

Thank You

All though I hated school and I didn’t get much out of it. I have never appreciated school so much in my life till right now at 28. I’m sure you weren’t expecting that haha. Because of my hatred toward school and not being good at school. With my disability, I have to read the same sentence or paragraph a few times if I get confused. Even to this day I still get pissed sometimes when I have to do that. Yes, I get upset but that’s just a weakness of mine and I have accepted it now. But it doesn’t mean I have to love it or be ok with it. That’s why I read so much now.

I have read 48 books in almost five years. Till the time I graduated you could probably count the number of books I read cover to cover on one hand. I don’t read for pleasure like some people, I still HATE reading. Well, I’m starting to get better with it haha. I know that might not make much sense with me finishing so many books now. Plus now writing so much and wanting to become an author and write for a career.

One Of A Kind

I know that’s, not your typical reasoning for wanting to read and write. But the reason why I read so much now and write so much now is because of my past. I’m doing it because reading no matter how slow I read or how much I still struggle with it, the pros will always outweigh the cons. That’s why I want to get better now, is because of my love-hate relationship with reading and writing. 

That’s why I’m, not your typical writer and author. You know at 28, I’m finally figuring out who I am and the kind of person I am and turning into. I’m ok with that because I don’t want to be like every other blogger or author. I’m seeing the world from a different perspective than most people.

I Learned Alot

Yes, I’m a late bloomer and that’s ok because we all go through different challenges and situations. Don’t focus on the people to your left and right, only focus on your path and where you want to go. That’s why at 28 I have now realized how much I appreciated school and will always be thankful for my hard times and experiences.

Those hard times taught me the definition of work over the years. I always had to work harder than most people. I have been below average and an underdog all of my life. That’s why I’m going to be successful now. Not because I want to prove people wrong and brag and say look at me look at what I accomplished, that’s not it at all.

My Unique Way

I’m looking forward to sharing with the world that all my life I have been on the lower half of the scale. I have accepted that now and realize that’s just how it is. But what I can’t accept anymore is my attitude of just aiming for average like most of my early life.

Just because I sucked in school that doesn’t mean I can’t make a difference and help people in the world. That is the exact reason why I’m doing this now. I want to show people that it doesn’t matter what your weaknesses are. There is always another way and another approach you can take to better yourself. You just have to find a way and make it happen and go after it.

Ghosts Around Your Deathbed

Ghosts Around Your Deathbed

My Ghosts

Imagine the day when you’re on your deathbed. I know that’s not something we try and think about or people taught us to think about regularly haha. You’re on your bed nobody else around except your ghosts.

Now, these ghosts represent everything you didn’t accomplish in your life you had wanted to or talked about doing in your days leading up to this moment. For me, I want to publish at least six books at the moment. I’m going back and forth with some other ideas. I want my fiction series to be turned into movies, which is three of my books. I’m training to do a half ironman this summer just to name a few.

Originally I wanted my books to sell a million copies, yes that’s a big goal to chase. But then my dad challenged me and was being my dad haha. Instead of capping it and trying to sell a million copies of your books. Why not try and reach a million plus people with your books? I didn’t really have to think too long about that, it made sense and I like that more.

Wake Up Call

All of these goals I talked about that has to do with my books. It’s not about the money, yes is their money in that business and money to be made. Of course, there is a lot of money out there and plenty to go around. That’s not what drives me and brought me onto this path of becoming an author and sharing my story. Yes, do I want to sell a lot of copies, of course, I won’t deny that or apologize about that. Because if I sell a lot of my books, especially my memoir then that means the more of that book I sell the more young adults I can be connecting with.

All of this I believe was put on my heart for a reason. It would just be a waste if I don’t follow through with it or do anything about it now. Will it be easy of course not, it’s already been over seven years. In that time, I’ve written three books and started my own blog. In that time, I have reached out to almost 300 agents to represent me. I had 100 tell me they weren’t interested, and 170 not respond. Was I upset and pissed, well yes, I was. Because it was a reality check this was going to be a lot harder than I anticipated.

I’m Almost Done

Did that stop me from working and trying to get better with my writing absolutely not? Did I have my off days and days I didn’t want to write absolutely? But here we are I’m still writing and not slowing down. Yes, I have earthly goals of mine about writing and publishing my books and trying to help as many kids and young adults as possible. That will always be the backbone to what I’m trying to do.

In the end, if my books get published awesome that will be a dream come true. I know for a fact when I hold my first book looking at it with my own eyes and see the words I wrote and Peter A. Harrower on the spine I know I will tear up a little. I won’t even hide it or deny it, I will cry because I know what it took to create that book and the time and effort over the last seven years writing three books. My memoir book alone I have put over 270 hours into and I’m still not done. I’m getting goosebumps thinking about that moment as I write this.

What Really Matters

In all honesty, if my books don’t do as well as I had hoped. I try not to think that way and already looking at the outcome, but this is just an example. Whether they do amazing or don’t do anything I’m still going to be the same Peter I was when I first started writing those books. I know for a fact that will never change me. Because I don’t want to be remembered for my books. Yes, I want to use that as a stepping stone to help impact kids that were upset and confused like me. But more importunately I want to be a light and a good example to those kids and young adults that need it.

I want to be the best husband and one-day father, son, brother, uncle, and friend that I can be. Will I mess up some days absolutely will I screw up sometimes of course. But will I get it right some days, yes, I will? Will the people close to me know my heart and know that I’m trying my best, yes, they will? I don’t need money or fame to tell me I accomplished amazing things. I just need people around me to have an opportunity to be kind to them to laugh with them and have fun with them and be there friend.

My Possibilities

Do my goals and dreams drive me yes, they do? Does one day becoming a father push me to work harder and save more money and give them the life they deserve yes it does? In the end, I don’t need to have this story from Les Brown be my ultimate goal for me. Yes, it’s a great reminder and a great eye-opener and it definitely woke me up.

I feel like I’m already on the path to doing everything that I talked about doing. I haven’t given up yet, I’m still fighting every day and still working hard. I’m just starting to recognize now that I can work harder and do better. So that’s what I’m focusing on now. I’m more aware of what I can do and capable of doing now, then what I’m not capable of doing. My mindset has shifted to the possibilities that I can accomplish not to what I’m not able to do.

Check out the video below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ddyXrYaN-4 

My Thanksgiving

My Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and what can I say I have alot to be thankful for. It has been a good year and the good news is it’s not over yet. Where do I begin with my Thanksgiving story?

February 11th is where we begin. I have been to Starbucks hundreds of times over the years. But I knew this time wasn’t going to be a normal experience for me. It was the first time I met Lindsay. I think it’s safe to say it went well after spending three hours talking and laughing with her.

February 11th to June 9th there are 119 days in between. That’s when I popped the question. June 10 to October 6th there were 119 days in between until we got married. October 7th till November 22 there was 47 days in between. Totaling 285 days between that first day we met till her favorite holiday Thanksgiving.

What A Year

In between that time I was spoiled and lucky enough to experience what I experienced. Forget getting married for a seccond. I went backpacking across Europe for the second time for two weeks. I went to the outer banks for the first time with my family for vacation this year. Then a little over a month I followed it up with going with Lindsay’s family back to the outer banks for another week. After that almost six weeks later I got married and we went to the Riviera Maya for our Honeymoon.

So yes this is on track to being the best year Peter Harrower has ever have. I hope and pray I’m not done yet. There are still 39 more days till 2018 comes to a close. The icing on top of the cake for me is im so close to finnaly finishing my book. I’m about to send it off to get formatted. If everything goes well and there won’t be any setbacks it will hopefully go live through Amazon (KDP) by the end of December.

What A Bonus

Regardless if my book is published in 2018 or not. This has by far been the best year of my life. Yes, I have been talking about publishing my book for a number of years now and I’m so close and I can’t wait. But the last thing I want to do is just to finish it and publish it for the heck of it. I’ve been working on this book for over four years now what’s another month?

If I do get the opportunity to publish my book this December. This is already the best year I ever have. Publishing my book will be next on the list for the best thing that I did in 2018. It still scares the crap out of me and it’s definitely pushing me outside of my comfort zone but that’s good I need that. After all, I can’t talk all the time about you guys getting out of your comfort zone and I don’t even do anything about that. What kind of example would that be?

Surprise Surprise

This year has been full of highs, I think it’s safe to say that for the first time ever or in a long time. I think I had more highs then I did lows. Now I don’t mean for that to sound horrible or like I’m a Debbie Downer. Forget my book right now. The reason why this year is so special and means so much to me is beciase of one reason Lindsay.

I always thought I would get married at a young age. But in all reality, I never thought I would get married. I had so many weaknessses pulling me back and weighing me down in life I never thought I would be good enough for anyone. I never apreciated myself or thought I was good enough for myself. So how could I be good for someone else then?

I Was Wrong

Well, I guess I was wrong and I’m very happy to admit that I was wrong in this example haha. I found my Lioness who loves me and cares about me more than I ever thought someone could in my life. I know I’m lucky just for that reason of getting married.

I’m so unbelievably blessed and more than I deserve that it took me a long time to finally realize that. I have a new wife that loves me, and a new dog, finally I have my own house. I mean what else do I need? Ok, I know what I need. I need to publish my book and share that with the world. Then after that, I don’t need any gifts for Christmas or any other material thing you could offer me.

Finish Strong

I finally got married and very soon accomplished my number one goal in my life of publishing my own book. I never thought that my Learning Disability and Dyslexic self would have ever gotten to this point in my life. Sure I dreamed about it and prayed about it for years. But now that I know I’m in the moment and I’m very close to achieving that goal. I can’t help but smile about that.

As you can see I’m very lucky and very happy right now. But I wasn’t always this happy and loving life like this. If you haven’t read some of my old posts read critic, my years as a zombie just to name a few. I was down and miserable for a long time and as much as that bothers me. I know it was all meant for a reason and I would do it all again to bring me to this point. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. I know it might feel like a stretch now but it’s true keep going and keep working every day. Don’t give up, your so close keep working every day like your life depends on it.

Crab Mentality

Crab Mentality

You Can’t Have It

The crab mentality is just like it sounds. Its a mentality of if I can’t have it neither can you. Imagine a bucket filled with crabs. Say there are 20 crabs in this bucket. All 20 crabs are stuck in this bucket and can’t do anything or escape they are stuck and that’s it. All of a sudden that number 20 crab is on the top and all of the sudden it hits him. I’m close to the top. I wonder if I can reach the top and escape?

That number 20 crab finally decides to make a break for it and try and be free. But there’s one problem with his escape plan. His 19 other friends in that bucket won’t let him escape. What they are saying and thinking is if I can’t get out neither can you nobody can. Instead of being supportive and trying to help each other it does the complete opposite of that.

The Great Escape

Number 20 gets a grasp on the top of the bucket and it feels the breeze on its claw and the rest of him as he tries to pull himself up to the top to be free. One last pull and he’s out. Then all of the sudden all of his inmates decide to pull him down quick and let him know that he can’t escape. So, he tries it again and getting close again and they pull him right back down.

Try after try number 20 is getting very close to escaping then he feels a pull and falls back down. Now, they break his arms so he can’t pull himself up. Now the other 19 are thinking he’s not going anywhere now without his arms to pull himself up.

It’s Worth The Risk

After some time, stubborn number 20 is not giving up and determined to get out and be free. He’s pulling himself up with whatever he can trying to grab and pull onto anything he can to help get out of the bucket. Now the other 19 crabs have had enough number 20 isn’t listening anymore. So, what do they do? They kill that crab because he keeps trying to escape and not staying in the bucket and following everyone else.

Now, this might be kind of a silly example that I’m sharing but in all reality its spot on towards our everyday living. In your own life for example. Do you have big dreams or goals you want to accomplish?

What makes my own bucket so unique and so different from yours or other people’s buckets. Is instead of having 19 other crabs with me in my bucket. The only crab that was with me in my bucket of life was myself. That’s right, it was just me.

Me vs Myself and I

In the crab mentality example, I didn’t have friends or family or other people pulling me down like most people might in their daily living. For me the only one that was pulling me down was myself. Again, I’ve been my toughest critic from an early age. I have been my toughest opponent and the biggest threat to myself throughout my whole life. But I have also been my best and only friend at times throughout this journey.

Now that is not a stab or insult to anyone in my family or friends around me. I just know what it’s like living in my shoes every day dealing with the issues that I deal with on a regular basis. There’s only so much I can share and explain with others without being overwhelmed and upset even more. In all reality even if I talk to someone and explain what I’m dealing with or struggling with my learning disability for example. Nobody can do anything. Yes, my parents will try and comfort me as a little boy confused and upset in school. But in all reality that didn’t do anything or fix anything.

Walking In My Shoes

That’s again not a shot at my parents, that’s just reality and the facts. I know each and every one of us all have our own personal hiccups and issues that we face every day. All I’m getting at is unless you have the same disability as me and able to walk in my shoes. You will never know what this burden is like on daily basis.

That’s why the crab mentality is a good fit for me, with a slight variation. The world or people around me were not trying to prevent me from being successful and chasing what I wanted in life. In most cases, everyone around me was right there with me supporting me. I’m beyond grateful for that for all of the love and support I got through my school years and life in general. The only one I was battling with was myself. That’s why I’m thankful I didn’t have more crabs in my bucket.

Don’t Stop Fighting

Now your situation might be different but your path doesn’t have to be the same as mine. After a while, I decided enough is enough. If I was going to get out of this bucket and escape and be free then I have to change my ways and fix what I have been doing wrong most of my life. Now here I am trying my best to change every day and get out of the bucket of my negativity, sadness, and hatred toward myself. My mentality has shifted alot in the last few years and I found more reasoning in life to win and be successful now.

You will find it too, you just can’t give up. Keep fighting and keep gripping the top of the bucket, don’t let go. If there are people in your life that aren’t supporting you then get rid of them and kick them off of you as your hanging on to your dreams. As hard as it might be you have to get rid of that dead weight. You only get what chance to live and one shot, make it count.

Inside The Mind Of A LD Kid

Inside The Mind Of A LD Kid

My Mind

When you hear about a learning disability what do you think? Someone who struggles with school or they struggle with certain things in life and everyday living. Well if you thought that or Googled the definition that’s what you will see in front of you on a screen. Let me tell you what it really looks like inside the mind of an LD kid looks like.

Now I can’t speak for everybody with an LD but I have a feeling that I won’t be far off. This is what my every day looked like. First, why did God put this on me? Then I think how much of a loser am I going to be today? What am I going to screw up or get wrong in the hours ahead of me? Who am I going to disappoint and maybe loose hope and trust from? My family or friends the people I love and that mean the most to me perhaps?

My Everyday

Yes, it’s harsh but it’s the truth. I’m very negative. I have a horrible attitude sometimes. I’m my own worst enemy, and toughest critic and opponent every day. No matter what I do or who I’m going against either in sports or everyday life. No one will ever be tougher and harder to face then myself. Especially after I mess up or do something wrong.

Inside my mind is a constant battle every day. It doesn’t matter how much good or positive I might do in one day, week, or month whatever the time frame is. All I can think about is when I will screw up next and when my next failures are waiting for me around the corner.

My Future Success

Is this healthy absolutely not. Is this a good mindset and a good idea to think this way, absolutely not? Do I recommend people having a mindset and attitude like me absolutely? With all of my struggles and faults and personal imperfections, I carry with me every day or the rest of my life. At the end with all of my issues, that is why I’m going to win and succeed in life. I know what it’s like to feel like a loser and you will never be good enough. Why do you think I’m working so hard now?

I’m working this hard now to be able to provide for my wife and if I’m lucky enough my future kids. Yes, we all have our personal struggles and issues we might face in our life. Some are a short stint, some can be a lifetime. Just because I have been thinking this way the last 22 years of my life is exactly the reason why I’m going to win in life.

My Reality

I might not go on to be a millionaire and buy all of these cool material items why I’m on earth. Sure, that would be awesome and fun, but that’s not why I’m doing this. Money and material objects will come and go in our life. But helping others and doing the right thing along the way and trying to better yourself and others around you that will go so much farther in life.

I have come a long way, not trying to pat myself on the shoulder. I never thought I would be a good husband or anyone would ever want to marry me. I just married my lioness on October 6th, 2018. I told myself I could never read for fun and have that be enjoyable when I was in school. In almost five years I have read 45 books.

My Reasons

What does a kid who can’t read fast, and who hates reading doing writing books? Well, I feel like I have something to share with the world. Yes, I’ll admit I wasn’t a born writer and gifted with reading like most authors ahead of me. But I believe I do have a gift of dreaming and being creative. If those were classes besides gym class those would be my best classes in school.

That’s why I have every reason to be a writer and that’s no reason to hold me back. I didn’t let my weaknesses hold me back and control me like they did for most of my life in my past. Well yes, they did control me, but only in the last few years I finally decided to start fighting back for the first time in my life.

My Advice

My life has meaning now and after all this time I do have a purpose here on earth. My negative mindset in my earlier years was all a bunch of crap. This is for all of you people out there. Don’t you ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something? If you have a dream then don’t stop till you get there. You fight everyday day for it like it’s your last and hang on to it for dear life.

It might not seem like it right now and whatever situation you might be in. But that dream is giving you purpose and hope and the fight to keep going every day. Yes, it might seem impossible right now, but that’s because you just took the leap of faith and just started to pursue it. No matter what situation you’re in, or what you think you might have against you or holding you back.

You have to realize it’s not bad that’s waiting for you around the corner. It’s the good and endless opportunities that are waiting for you. That’s how you need to look at it. As you can see my attitude and mindset have completely changed. Yes, it took a long time to get here but you can do it. If I can do it so can you. You just need to take it one day at a time and one step at a time.

How Do You See The World

How Do You See The World

The Question

I have to ask you, how do you see the world? The question itself is easy to ask as the words roll off your tongue. But the meaning behind those six words is far greater then you can imagine.

How I see the world from 1996-2014 was sheltered and not how I see the world now. Yes, there is plenty of beauty in the world and a lot of amazing people and locations in the world. All I could see and focus on was what I was battling and having trouble with. Somedays it felt like there was a brick wall blocking me and preventing me from physically moving forward in life and preventing me from seeing the world.

Two Perspectives

Yes, there are two different ways you can see the world. Good or bad the warmth or the darkness in the world. Now there isn’t a right or wrong answer with this, all though for your sake and everyone’s sake I hope it’s the side I’m thinking of. Honestly, I can’t really blame you if it’s not the good side. Because I was on the dark side for far too many years.

I had this mindset of poor me, why did God put this on my shoulders? Why should I even follow and believe in God if he put this Learning Disability and Dyslexia on me? In the last few years, I came to recognize that in the back of my mind I blamed God for my hard life and what he put on me. I never really said it out loud or with words, but I never really had that great of a relationship with God and only put in the minimum effort with him. Then one day it hit me about a year ago. I wonder if that’s what’s holding me back? Subconsciously I was blaming God for this disability of mine, and that’s what was preventing me from wanting to get to know him better?

Blaming Others

I have come to realize yes, I did do that and yes it was wrong for me to think that. God created me and I needed someone to blame. Why not put it on the person who created me? That seems like the easy way to do it.

Now in the last two years, my perspective has changed. I’m starting to wonder and think maybe God did this for a reason? After all, he doesn’t make mistakes maybe he wants me to do something with this disability and my story. Do I know for sure the answer and exactly what he told me, well no I don’t? But I strongly believe with my whole body and soul I’m meant to share my story and publish my book somehow and someway. I strongly believe I’m supposed to share my story with the world. How else do you think he got a kid who can’t read fast, is horrible at spelling and grammar and did horrible in school to read 45 books in almost five years and written three books in seven years?

New Me

Was that my instinct and choice to all of the sudden want to read more and write. Maybe I knew reading more would help me in life and business and help me grow more. Yes, that’s possible. But then what about the writing? If you ask me it’s a little interesting.

How I see the world is how I act in the world. With opportunity and handling whatever comes up and whatever comes my way by handling it the best way I can. I was blind to the world in front of me back in that time period I told you about earlier. Now I can see the vision I have toward the world and now what I want from it and what I want to take from the world.

Pay It Forward

It’s about time I start living better and sharing that with the world. Hence the reason why I’m writing so much now and reading so much now. I’m trying to make myself better and improve myself so I can pay it forward and give back to the world. It’s not for the fame, I don’t like being the center of attention so that’s out. It’s not about the money, I had almost $10,000 in the bank before I was 21 years old that didn’t make me happy towards the world or change my perspective of it. It just meant I had some money and still sad and upset and depressed with not knowing what or where I’m supposed to go in the world.

Now I want to focus on giving back more and becoming a better person and sharing more with the world. Now I’m grateful to be alive and I don’t want to die or harm myself anymore like I wanted to in my past. I have a beautiful wife now, and amazing friends and my crazy family around me and supporting me. Why would I want to throw that away? Now I want to share that gift with the world, and help people that were like me. Confused, depressed searching for something, anything. Something that was bigger than them or is a part of something that was bigger than them.

Watch this short video by Inky Johnston he explains it much better then I can. Check out Inky’s story and find out more about this amazing and motivating man.

What I Learned From Sports

What I Learned From Sports

Ups and Downs

What I learned from sports over the years and what I took from the ups and downs is more than I can ever imagine. I was at an all-time high to winning two league titles in my high school career. One In soccer and baseball. I also helped coach a team to win the league for my third medal so that was a special moment coaching. To the lows of losing in playoffs and losing in the championship game a few times to your rival.

Yes, it can be fun and very rewarding, but it can also be hard and not fun. In the end, I wouldn’t have changed anything. Sure, I would have wanted more wins and medals and for me personally to have played better throughout the years to help my team win more. But I think if done correctly you can learn from those losses just as much if not more than when you win.

Bidder Taste

Once you lose or lost in a big game. It sucks and it doesn’t taste good. At the time you might be thinking, man I wish I did better or did this or that instead. With that thinking and mindset, you’re not going to get much better next time and that attitude won’t help you learn more down the road. But what will help you to recover or maybe look at it with a better attitude is what If I could have done this instead? Maybe if I tried this approach or did this a little different and tweaked this or that. I need to go to practice and work on it so I don’t make the same mistake twice.

Pretty much the same wording and approach and thinking behind what happened. Yet the outlook of it and your mindset of it is completely different then playing the what if game. Don’t play the what if game, that doesn’t help you or anyone else. It just makes you look like a poor loser in some cases. You can’t change it now, all you can do is learn and do better next time.

Competitive Nature

From a young age, I developed a craft for being very competitive. I think it all started with seeing my sisters playing sports and watching sports in general. After a while, I hated to lose and wanted to win. I wanted to beat my sisters and everyone else I was playing with or against. I didn’t care what it was I wanted to win plain and simple.

Now with that attitude, there could be side effects of being very competitive. I hated losing as I said, but I wasn’t really a sore loser. Well, when I was younger I was but I got better. Winning just made me feel so much better and it put a smile on my face. It was like I had an edge over everyone else that I was playing against or I was going up against. It wasn’t my intention to think I was better than them or anything like that. I was just trying to win and well win in everything I was doing.

Real Life

Playing sports over the years helped me to grow into the competitor I am to this day. From playing basketball, baseball or soccer over the years. To playing video games with my friend’s, tennis with my dad whatever it was I wanted to win. Once I started to get better in those areas and realized oh I’m kind of good then it only got better or worse from there haha. School wasn’t a gift for me, but sports, on the other hand, was a gift I was definitely born with.

You can be competitive in anything. I used to be in sports or games, well I still am and probably always will be. I’m starting to transition my competitiveness from sports into life and the real world. See it doesn’t matter where you are in your life and what chapter you’re going through or finishing up.

New Opponent

I’m trying to enter a field that’s new to me. I have to learn and figure out what I’m doing and what I need to do to become the best author I can be. I need to put in the work, that could mean writing something every day or reading something every day to help me grow and get better. Just like in sports I went to practice every day or had games and we had to keep putting in the work as a team to get better.

That’s what I’m doing now, I’m laying the foundation and learning and growing and trying to get better every day now. I need to figure out what it will take to become a successful author. I want to be the best husband that I can be to my wife. The best son, brother, uncle and friend to everyone around me. Will I mess up and lose sometimes, of course, that will happen. But what makes that situation different or me different is what you do after you lose. Are you going to stay upset about it for a long period of time? Or are you going to be upset or think about what happened or what you did and move on and try and do better next time? It’s all on your outlook and how you see it playing out in front of you.

Now you can learn from anything, it doesn’t have to be from sports. For me personally, that’s where it all started for me. From a young age, I started to taste the sweet taste of winning and the ugly side to losing. I have definitely lost more than I have won in my life. Now with losing more than I have won, has only made me hungrier and more motivated to win and continue to do better every day.

I’m Back

I'm Back

Guess Who’s Back

I’m back people it’s been a little under than two months since I’ve posted something. I needed a short break. I was getting married and then going on my honeymoon I also left my job at the gym. Now I’m back and ready and fully charged to get back into my writing. I have missed this, its been a long time since I wrote here let alone my journal. But I’m excited to share some new posts with all of you down the road.

I got married almost two weeks ago, it’s crazy I’m a married man now. It still hasn’t kicked in yet which I think is kind of weird, but I’m not surprised because there’s been a lot going on the last three weeks. Getting ready for the wedding then the honeymoon and got back a few days ago. Now I’m trying to get back in the swing of things and my daily routine every day. Plus still trying to unpack everything and figure out where all of my stuff is, so that’s been alot of fun.

What A Year

It’s been a great year so far. I started dating Lindsay in the beginning of February of this year. Now a quick eight months later I’m a married man. In that time I went to Europe for the second time for two weeks. Went to Outer Banks twice with my family and hers. Now married with a new house and a new pup. It’s incredible, and I’m very excited now because it’s all new, and I’m ready for the next chapter that God has in store for me and excited to see what he has planned for me.

Now I’m not scared or nervous at all for getting married and being a husband. I have been praying for this moment and wishing for it for years now. The moment is finally here, and now I’m on cloud nine. It’s been a fantastic year so far and looking forward to finishing 2018 out strong and with another high of publishing my book.

Home Stretch

I’m so close to finally being done, I know I have been saying that for a while but its true I’m very close now. I’m going through it one more time and making some minor corrections, and then I’ll read it one more time and make sure it’s all good. I have the pictures figured out, and the book cover is done I need to format everything and send it off for the whole book to be formatted professionally. After that, I need to upload it and publish that bad boy, and I’m officially done.

Now after I do that, I’m not done that’s only another step along the way. From there is when the real battle begins, or I guess I should say a new battle begins. Sharing my book with people and getting the word out with what I’m trying to do. Share my story and share with kids what I’m trying to do and let them hear my story first hand from me and they know what I’m trying to do.

The Real Me

I want them to see all of my struggles and failures not just in my book but first hand straight from my mouth. It doesn’t matter if that’s from my book or talking to them in person or however, I’m doing it. I want them to know and share with them that it doesn’t matter what your history WAS in the past and what you were doing. Now is the time to focus on the present and where you WANT to go in your life.

Every day is a gift we are given, some people recognize and know that and some don’t. Next, you should be grateful for waking up in the morning because not everyone will wake up. After you understand that and can fully grasp that, that’s when you need to start working and kicking butt every day. Because who knows if it will be your last day or not.

The Ultimate Gift

Take every day you are given from above as a gift from God because well it is. Make the most of that day in front of you. You have a new day in front of you and don’t focus so much on the past, focus on the present and what’s next.

I’m doing better as the days go on. But I still struggle with getting caught up from some stuff from my past. I’m not perfect. I’ll admit that it’s still a working progress in that category. But I recognize where I’m wrong and working on it trying to get better. I’m always trying to improve in the areas I’m struggling with or know I should be getting better in. I know what I need to do. But the question you should be asking yourself is, do you?

100th Post

100th Post

TWTMDE

Welcome to my 100th post. It seems like forever now, but 100 posts and still going. In that time I have written 100 posts, it’s crazy what I have seen over that time.

I guess for starters recognizing how blessed and lucky I am. This year alone I went backpacking across Europe for two weeks. I went to the outer banks for a week on vacation two different times this summer. Now my sister is getting married tomorrow. Then 41 days later I will be getting married.

One of the things I struggled with the most in my life and early days, was wondering if I would ever be good enough for someone else? Now here I am a little more than a month away from marrying my beautiful fiancée.

It’s Almost Time

To be honest it still doesn’t feel like I’m getting married. I went so many years not dating and wondering if I ever will find her or if I’m lucky enough to get married. It was such a quick turn around. We dated for less than four months and I proposed. Engaged for just about four months and then I’ll be married. It’s interesting seeing God work and how quickly things can change.

Besides getting married which is amazing and huge of course. Another thing I’m working on is publishing my book this year. I think it is finally ready. I’m ready to share this with the world and share my story. Yes, it still terrifies me and freaks me out of course. But hey whoever said that wasn’t a bad thing? I think that’s how you grow and get better. Getting yourself out of your comfort zone and stretching yourself. That’s how you start to find yourself and see who you really are and what your made of and capable of in your life.

Keep Going

That’s part of the reason why I started this blog. Is to continue to keep writing and keep trying to get better at writing. Is there room for improvement, absolutely I won’t deny that. Do I think I have come a long way since my first post and when I first started writing? Yes, I think I have. I hope I’m able to publish a couple hundred more posts over the years. How cool would it be if I end up sharing 1,000 posts?

The goal is to try and connect with kids and young adults who have similar stories and issues like me. I’m here to tell them, that anything is possible. I was that kid who hated school and wasn’t good at it. Some days I would have rather been tortured physically instead of taking a test or reading in front of the class. That to me was torture enough and embarrassing. It was hard and was hell for me. Reading, writing, spelling, math, anything else you can think of it was hard for me.

I Believed The Lies

For a good chunk of my life and all of my teenage years and about the first half of my 20s I let my weaknesses control me. My weaknesses and Fred, my alter ego controlled every movement of my life it felt like. It wasn’t Peter running the show, I was a zombie just going with the flow. Most of the time it felt like I was on cruise control, I didn’t know what was going on.

Well, I’m here to tell you right here and right now. That all of my faults, my weaknesses and the things I struggled with in school the only reason why they controlled me was I let them. I was listening to myself. That’s what I kept telling myself over the years and feeding my head with these lies. After a while, my lies started to sound believable and I was now listening to myself and believing it.

Bigger Picture

That’s why my book had to be written. That’s why this blog had to be created. I’m glad I had over 105 agents reject me. Sure, at the moment, I was sad and wondering if this will ever work. Looking back, I just don’t think I was ready. I’m one of those people that believes everything happens for a reason. I believe I was meant to finally meet Lindsay at the beginning of the year. I believe all of those rejections I had received was all pointing me to create this blog. It was all different pieces I was putting together to finish the puzzle.

Now it’s not about me anymore, or my books and blog. After reading this, what is it you need to work on or fix? I have a lot of stuff still to work on. I’m still battling insecurities and going back and forth with every day. I don’t have much confidence in myself, I’m always negative toward myself throughout the day. Depression has been a constant battle over the years. I have become my own worst enemy over the years.

Never Stop Dreaming

My story is out in the public now. I have a lot of work to do still. There is a lot of room for improvement, I’m far from cured. But here’s the kicker that a lot of people miss over the years. This was something I couldn’t really grasp at a young age. There’s always going to be something we’re working on or trying to improve or fix as we age and get older. Honestly, that’s how it should be. I feel if you just settle with where you are and what you’re doing in life then you already have one foot in the grave.

Life is supposed to be special, and precious. We only get one chance at it and one life. We need to all start doing better and making the most of it. Start tackling those goals and dreams you have been talking about for years. It’s time to stop talking, and time to start doing.

Champions Keep Going

Champions Keep Going

Don’t Give Up

Champions keep going when they don’t have anything left in their tank

ET

From a young age, I always thought I was meant for something special. I didn’t know what that was, or how to get to it and find it. Going with whatever was in front of me for that day. I was lost and felt like I was walking in circles with no direction and no clue what I was going to do with myself or what God had in store for me. Some days I felt like the monkey playing the symbols and not going anywhere. I can’t be a champion, what can I do?

Freaked Out

I had no idea what I was doing with myself. I kept rolling with whatever was coming my way. No matter what was going on if it was whatever sport I was in or job I was at. I would try and look at the plus side of everything, unfortunately, that’s easy said than done. After a while, I could only lie to myself so much. I started to realize how much I’m full of it. It’s one thing to lie to others and tell them how I’m feeling or if I’m faking it and putting on a mask trying to be happy. But I can’t lie to myself, I know who I really am.

Once school was over and I graduated and ready to step into the real world, all I could think was how terrified I was. With no direction and no idea what I was going to do with myself and that stupid piece of paper saying I graduated. What am I supposed to do now?

Hard Work

Yes, I graduated from school. But looking back, I had a lot of help from my parents and teachers to help push me or drag me over the finish line of graduating school. If I didn’t have their help who knows how many times I would have failed.

I have played sports all my life and have a decent collection of trophies I have gathered over the years. But what does that mean, and how does that benefit me now? Well for starters it showed me how to commit to something bigger than Peter. It showed me how to work with others to get the job done and win and collect the prize at the end of the season. Become a champion was always the goal at the end of the season.

Champions

I was a part of two championship teams in high school. I won the league in my junior year in soccer. My senior year we won the league in baseball. That was a great feeling because it was the last big thing I accomplished before graduation. Honestly, I think I was more excited about winning the league in baseball then I was for graduating.

I know my ultimate goal was to graduate from school. But the only problem with that is I didn’t know what to do with myself next in my life. My ultimate goal is finally here and I just freaked out and panicked and didn’t want to leave school. I didn’t know what I could do, and what I can go after and tackle next. I was scared and I wanted to turn around and go back to what was familiar to me. School for me was a battle every day. That battle I was facing was less scary to me than the unknown after I graduated with no direction.

Never Back Down

How can I win in life? I have lost more in life then I have won. Even though I won two league titles in my high school career. I also lost in the championship game my junior year in basketball and baseball. I failed multiple times trying to sell my books to agents to represent me. Failures and rejections definitely outweigh the wins in my life.

I’m, not a champion, how can I be a winner and a champion if I have lost more than I have won? I didn’t understand this at the time. It’s not about the medals I have earned in school being the best team that year. It was the fact that the team I was a part of didn’t give up and we didn’t back down from whoever the opponent was in front of us in the championship game.

New Approach

Even with receiving over 105 rejections about my books over the years. Yes, for a short time that did scare me and made me wonder if I can even write or if there is even room for me to enter this field. I decided to change the outcome and not give up. A new path was formed and I went in a different direction. I created PeterHarrower.com to start blogging, and I needed a place to keep writing.

A new approach to publish my books was born. I didn’t let 105 people who didn’t care for what I had created stop me. I would have taken 1,000 rejections if it meant my story or books could reach 10 times that. What matters is when I was down thinking I failed and I wouldn’t be good enough I didn’t stop.

Mindset

I might not have won yet or published any of my books yet. It doesn’t mean I’m not going to. Maybe I won’t reach thousands or millions of people in my lifetime. That’s not what this is about. It’s to show you to never quit and never settle when you feel like you can’t win. Stay away from the negative attitude.

Maybe you won’t win right now. Keep working and wait to see where you will be a year from now or five years from now. Keep working and who knows, you might be at a level that you never pictured for yourself and envisioned. That’s why it’s important to never stop and to always keep working. That’s what separates champions and losers in life.