When you wake up every morning what do you think to yourself? Crap I have to get up. I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to do this or that. Whatever your reason is it doesn’t matter. You have 86,400 seconds a day and what you do with that time will be gone at the end of the day and you can never get it back.
The other week I was in a little funk for a couple of days and depressed a little bit. I think the main reason why is because I just published my book a little over a month ago. Which is still weird saying that. But yet at the same time, it’s pretty freaking sweet haha.
I worked on that book for 12 and a half days of my life in the last four years. Now like that I’m done with the writing and formatting and bringing that book to life. Now I’m in a different phase with it.
I have sold over 50 books which is pretty crazy thinking about that still. I’ll be grateful for every book I ever sell, I know it will always be a blessing. But I know it’s not enough. I knew this was going to be a hard business to get into.
I’m beyond grateful that I have my wife and so many amazing people around me cheering me on and helping me achieve and do what I’m trying to do. I also put a lot of pressure on myself and sometimes, ok most of the time I over think things. I focus too much on the end goal and I miss the moment I’m in.
I was so focused on trying to sell my books and to share my story with people. Get on podcasts and do whatever I need to do, that I forgot one important detail. I forgot to enjoy what I accomplished and take in what I did and how rare it is to publish a book.
That’s where I am now. Every morning God wakes me up and I’m able to get out of bed is a blessing. Now every full day I see from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to sleep I should take that as a gift and a blessing. Because not everybody wakes up.
Yes, I might be a little stressed right now trying to figure out my website, selling my book and promoting it. Trying to turn a hobby into an actual business now.
I know in this funk I haven’t enjoyed those 86,400 seconds like I know I should. Now, will I always enjoy every second of course not? I will have good days and bad. I know I need to get back to where I was and where I know I should be. Enjoying my new life I entered in only a couple months ago.
I’m happily married. I’m now a published author. I have the opportunity to turn my dreams into a reality. How awesome is that? Now when I’m given the opportunity I need to make the most of it.
If they can’t see the passion and how serious I am in my voice or on my face then I messed up and failed. Yes, is this going to be fun absolutely, well I hope haha? Will I be terrified or freaked out if I talk to a group of people about my story or book? Yes, it will freak me out. But I didn’t say I won’t do it.
I Want To Help
Yes, it will scare me, but it’s because I care and I want to help people now. I’m an introvert at heart. My past, how can I say this? Well, it screwed me up. My battle that I have every single day between my ears the last 20+ years of my life has truly put a number on me and kept me down a long time.
I’m just being honest. I was broken for a long time, I didn’t think there was any light for me at the end of the tunnel. I always believed I was meant for something special. But in all reality, I always thought I was just blowing smoke and just hoping for something special to happen for me.
I Woke Up
Well, news flash people, that something special happened and it didn’t happen when I published my book. It didn’t happen when I married Lindsay, all though that truly was amazing and a blessing. That special moment happened when I stopped feeding myself lies every day and decided to make a change.
I decided to stop all of the lies and thinking I was a mistake that slipped through the cracks when God created me. The moment I realized I was created for a purpose, is the moment when I started to live again and taste purpose for the first time. Publishing my book and marrying Lindsay were my top two goals. But what woke me up is that one day everything came together I finally decide to change my life and make something of the remaining seconds I have left.
I stopped worrying about the seconds I lost with all of the days and years behind me and started focusing on the new seconds that are waiting for me. There are a lot of people that I truly think my story could benefit them. Now, will it change their life, maybe, I don’t know? That’s not for me to decide that’s for that person to decide.
I don’t know how many seconds I have remaining. But I do know with my new mindset I never wanted to start living more than I do now. That’s why everything happens for a reason. This disability God gave me, I now feel like I’m using it the way he always intended. Sharing my unique story and helping kids and young adults to start living for the first time.