Passion vs Profits

Passion vs Profits

The Battle

For years even when I was in middle school and high school I always thought profits and money were all that mattered. If you had money then you would be considered successful and you made it in life. A couple of years ago I realized how wrong that mindset of mine was and how it made me focus on the wrong thing. The battle of passion vs profits begins.

As a Christian, I always struggled with money and focusing on the right thing from a young age. It’s wrong to have money and be wealthy, that means you’re not focusing on the right things. I realized that is the wrong attitude towards money.

I had it all wrong. There is nothing wrong with money and nothing wrong with having a lot of it. Now it’s what we do with the profits and what we spend it on or how we get money is what might be questionable.

Storyteller

When I first started working on my first book I thought to myself. Alright, I’m going to be an author create books for people and to help them escape from the real world and fall into this made up world I created for them. I read an article about Tom Clancy a couple of days ago and loved what he said.

I told stories to take people away from driving trucks or fixing toilets or whatever they do.

Before that sentence, he considered himself a storyteller, not a writer. Now yes, I call myself a writer now because I am. I write books and blog posts now. But what got me into writing was creating something bigger than Peter.

What didn’t get me into writing was money. Yes, I know the money could possibly be endless with writing. If I write a good book and people like it well then, more people will buy it. Seems pretty straight forward haha. Now I wanted to write a good book that has a good story that people can enjoy, that’s obvious. What I didn’t want is to write a good book that people enjoy and want to read to fill my own pockets.

My Goal

It’s crazy how things change in a short amount of time. When I was younger I was searching for money and trying to make a lot of it. Now that I’m entering this new field and world I’m in the money is endless and it doesn’t drive me. Don’t get me wrong, a goal of mine is to be able to do this full time and have writing books and speaking my full-time job. That is still a big goal for me that I’m working on and trying to accomplish.

A goal of mine that I made at 25 was to sell a million copies of my book in my life. Now if I published a book and charged it $9.99 and I only get $1 of commission for each book sold. I would have still ended up with a million books sold and earned, how cool is that?

New Mindset

My dad said one day when he saw this goal in my room on my dry erase board. Pete, with what your trying to do with your books and help kids and young adults. Maybe you shouldn’t focus on selling a million copies. Maybe you should focus on reaching a million people? He then dropped the mic and left my room. It was crazy, where did he even get a mic? Ok, I lied about the mic part haha.

Ever sense he said that it completely changed my mindset. Money is not why I wanted to be a writer to sell books as a business and make as much money as possible. Writing and storytelling is what got me started. That’s where my hunger came from with wanting to pursue this new opportunity and passion of mine.

My Imagination

Sometimes when you start something new, I’m guessing you never thought crap, I wish I would have done things differently? No, that thought probably never crossed your mind haha. That’s when everything changed for me. Realizing my original goal and what I did. I quickly changed my goal on my board, and that quickly changed my mindset and work ethic.

Now do I want my books to sell, well yes, of course, I won’t deny that or lie about it. But the reason why I want my books to sell now is to be able to reach people with my words and stories. I want my imagination to grab their attention and see what I have created. That’s more important to me now than what’s in their pockets to pay for my books.

My Journey

Starting out I might have been a little more focused on the money side. Because starting out this isn’t a cheap hobby haha. I know once I make some money and reimburse Lindsay and myself with the money we put into starting this journey. When we become even it will change again, but for the better.

Don’t be afraid to admit you made a mistake. It’s ok to say that your original goal needs changed and fixed. I recognized my mistake and I changed it and edited it and fixed my problem. I’m ok with that and I feel much better about what I did and the changes I have made.

Now, will it always be that easy or simple no, of course not. Will it take time and some adjustments, well yes of course but that’s ok. What’s most important is you find something more important than profits? What I found was a passion  and purpose. Now I believe writing and my unique story is going to lead me into what I was ultimately put here to do and created to do. Will it be hard? Absolutely, it already is, but that’s all part of my unique journey that I’m on every day.

What You Say You Are

What You Say You Are

Not Good

Over the years I have developed a lot of bad habits. Some of those habits are, lacking confidence, thinking I’m a loser. Who would ever want to marry me? Always thinking I was stupid, you name it and I thought it. I learned from a young age what you say to yourself you are. What I have been saying to myself for most of my life was not good.

I never believed in myself from a young age and always thought I was a bum, and couldn’t accomplish anything without other people helping me. I always knew with my learning disability that was going to hold me back one day I just didn’t know how bad it would have been or how much of an impact it actually would have had on myself. Well let me tell you I was wrong and I completely miss judged that scenario haha.

Not Happening

At this point in my life, I never thought I would be in this situation that I’m in. This life I wake up to every day was always a dream, and I never thought I would have it. I know its wrong and not healthy and I know I need to fix it if I want to be happy and have a healthy life.

Having this heavy burden of thinking I was a mistake when God created me. Well, it’s not healthy and not good. From a young age, I always wanted to escape this pain I was putting myself through. I always thought I would die at a young age because of stress. For most of my life, I have always been my worst enemy and still struggle with this to this day sometimes.

What Do I Have

I know that mindset is wrong and again not healthy. I have so many amazing people around me and I’m truly blessed and I mean that I’m very lucky. But I have been broken for so long and still have my moments to this day.

I have been telling myself for a long time I don’t deserve Lindsay and I always think to myself why is she with me? Naturally, she doesn’t like hearing this haha. She has a successful career that she has been in for years and has a house, dog, and cats before I was even in the picture.

My Issues

I was living with my parents, no college degree and jumped from job to job trying to find my career and purpose. All I could think about is why me, what can I do for her? With my side effects and personal issues that I battle every day. Most people’s issues or problems they come across might be in there daily living. For me, that battle is inside my head daily.

That’s why it’s so important what you feed yourself daily. All I ever wanted was to be used for something positive and fulfill my destiny and purpose in life. I just didn’t know what that was. My whole life, I kept to myself because of embarrassment and being ashamed of my LD. That messed me up from a young age.   

Look What You Can Do

Now, look at what I accomplished in the last seven years. I published a book and written and finished two other books. I’m in the rough draft stage of two more books. I have read over 55 books in a little over five years.

I’ll be honest I still don’t like reading and it’s still a struggle to this day. What I do like is finding out people’s story and where they came from and seeing what they accomplished.

Yes, I still have a lot of personal baggage and personal battles I’m still facing and trying to overcome at this moment. I’m stubborn and used my sarcasm and humor as a shield and a mask ever since I could remember. Seeing people laugh or helping make them laugh always made me happier because if they were happier than they would be less likely being down or upset like I was.

One Opportunity

In the end, I wouldn’t change a thing. We are only given one life and one chance to live. This was all put in front of me for a reason. I wouldn’t get rid of my LD because of the hard times I had. That helped turn me into the person I was always meant to become.

I’ve turned my biggest weakness into a new opportunity in life. I was scared of reading and writing for most of my life and now I’m trying to enter that field as my future career. What does that tell you? I’m very stubborn or crazy haha, news flash, I’m both.

That stubbornness of mine is what helped form me into who I am today. I’m not a quitter anymore like I once was. I do have a purpose and I was created for a reason. All of those lies I have been feeding myself my whole life was just that, LIES.

Healthy Thoughts

It’s time I stop listening to my brain that I’m still fighting and battling with daily. Now is the time I start listening to my heart and doing the things I want to do. I want to write books and help young people. I don’t have a college degree and I just squeaked by graduating from high school. Up till the time when I met Lindsay, I didn’t know if I had a future. The moment we met was the moment my life changed.

Now I want to help YOU. I’m not saying I have all the answers or I am the answer. All I’m trying to do and share with you is embrace YOU. You don’t have to hide anymore. If I can do it, so can you and If I can find happiness and love with how broken I was for so long, so can you. If I can feel purpose and meaning in my life for the first time, so can you and I believe I can help.