Looking In A Mirror Vs Reality

Looking In A Mirror Vs Reality

Day 21

Looking in a mirror what do you see? From ages 6-25 if I was looking in a mirror or somebody would ask me this question. I would see a kid growing up confused and lost, angry towards himself and filled with hatred. He doesn’t like the person that he is or anything about him. I had a lot of good days and great memories in that time. Unfortunately, sometimes as much as we fight it and prevent it from happening. The bad always outweighs the good, and sometimes there’s nothing we can do about it. So, looking in a mirror vs reality, what do you see?

When I looked in a mirror when I was younger, it felt like I was looking at one of those crazy mirrors that change your shape. The ones that make you tall or fat, and just completely change your appearance. I was embarrassed at what I saw and how I thought the world viewed me. It scared me if people knew the real me. If they really knew who Peter was, and all the baggage I had. My disability and the lack of confidence and skills I had. I didn’t belong and I was a loser, and I felt different.

What Do You See

Now if you look at a normal mirror what do you see, whatever is in front of it, correct? So whatever vibe and attitude I shared with the world every day that’s how they saw and looked at me. I could be a whole new person, and have a side to me they never knew I had. Well, that’s what I did, that’s who I am. I figured out how to hide my shame and embarrassment from others. Hence the reason why I wore a mask and had another side to me. I wanted to create a side that people would like and they could have fun with and get along with every day. I thought in the end, it would make me feel better and happier.

Instead of embracing who I really was from an early age, I tried hiding it like it was secret. This wasn’t an ordinary secret to keep, this was my life, this was the real Peter and who I really am every day. I can’t keep this secret anymore and keep hiding anymore. I’m going to freak out one of these days. I tried finding ways to distract me from who I really am, but there was only so much I could do.

Bad Habits

After growing up and after a few years into my 20’s trying to figure out who I am. I realized I don’t need to figure out who I am, I already know who I am. I started out as a dyslexic kid that grew into a lot of personal problems and issues along the way. Why should I keep hiding that and being ashamed? Maybe it’s not so much me being ashamed. Maybe it’s the fact that what we think others will think and how we will be treated? I was already pre-judging myself and what I thought of myself. I assumed that’s what the world would think.

That’s how I lived for most of my life, of course, that’s not healthy and a bad habit to have. After all this time I realized why not embrace who I am, and make something with it? Why not cash in and make some money off my story, I’m just kidding haha. I could care less about money at this point. I just want to be happy and figure out who I am, and what my purpose is. That’s when I decided to start writing my memoir, and share it with the world. Here we are three years later and I’m almost done with it.

A Blank Canvas

My blank canvas of who I really am is almost finished and ready to present it to the world. Do I have a lot of more work to do, well, of course, that’s life? It’s a lifetime process and we are constantly working to try and better ourselves and should be doing that every day. Enough is enough, its time to embrace who I am and stop hiding.

I broke that mirror and started to work on how I viewed myself, and what I thought of myself. I’m still not normal, yes, I’m different and this weakness and disability will be with me until the day I take my last breath. There’s only so much I can do about that part of my life. Everything else that I do, I have a part in playing and trying to better myself. That’s why I changed my ways and started to change my lifestyle.

Our Potential

I started working on my weaknesses to try and become stronger in the areas I wasn’t good at. To this day it’s still weird sometimes talking about my life and who I really am. Honestly, I still don’t love it, but I’m looking at the end picture. There are millions of what started out as kids, and now adults like me. My story isn’t as bad as most and I get that. We all have our own issues we’re working on and trying to get better in. I get that now, somedays we won’t always like what we see in the mirror.

That’s life it’s a process and a battle we go through every day. Instead of hiding and sharing what we think the world wants to hear. Why not embrace who we are? We all have a unique story. Were all different, crazy and sometimes weird in our own way. Why not do something with that and try and better yourself, and better others along the way? It’s about time we all stop looking in the mirror and thinking and assuming the worse. What we should be looking at in the mirror, is our potential.

Somedays I Feel Like A Fraud

Somedays I Feel Like A Fraud

Day 20

Somedays I feel like a fraud, especially when I’m having a bad day. When I started this blog, my intentions were to share my story with the world. About five months later 57 posts and 1,356 views later here we are. I’m still sharing my story, and trying to have a positive impact on people. I have said hundreds of times already, I still have my faults and I’m not perfect. I have had my low days and a lot of personal issues I’m working on.

The reason why I feel like a fraud and why some days I feel fake and my mask is taking over. The real Peter has been in a dark tunnel for years, and far too long. My mask on the other side protected me when I went out in public and I didn’t want people to know who I really was. I didn’t want them to know the mindset and kind of personal issues I had. I don’t want them to know how angry I get. Or how lost and confused I am not knowing what’s next and where to go. Hence the reason why my mask become my best friend all these years.

I’m Different

I’m trying to share my story with kids and people. I know what it’s like to feel different or feel alone and confused. I wasted a lot of precious time pouting or depressed, that I can never get back in my life. Even though that time is long gone and I can’t get it back, in the end, those hard times helped turn me into the person I am today. Those hard times helped me build a tougher skin to keep going and keep fighting every day. Instead of hiding behind my mask for my whole life. It slowly started to help me to get out of my comfort zone.

I realized if I want to grow in life then I need to keep going and not stop. Now here we are its 2018 and January is almost over already. Time didn’t stop when I was down and upset or confused, and it certainly didn’t stop when I was happy. Time was going to pass whether I liked it or not, time doesn’t care how I’m feeling every day.

Why Bother

Somedays when I’m in a funk and thinking negatively about myself. Who would even want to hear my story? I tried I don’t even know how many jobs, and at 27 I still don’t know what’s next or where to go? I was just a kid with dyslexia and used his learning disability as an excuse for far too long. It’s hard not to think my story isn’t that special, and the only people that will really care are just my family and friends.

I want more with my life, I want to be greedy now. Even though some days I feel like a fraud or feel fake. I’m not happy, how can you be happy in the situation you are in life Peter? Are you even doing anything special right now? Here you’re trying to motivate others and help them out and try and motivate people to keep going in life. What are you even doing in your life? How can you tell people one thing and somedays turnaround and feel fake and a phony? I have those thoughts and that’s my mindset some days. It’s not healthy and I know they’re not real thoughts or what I’m really thinking. I’m just trying to talk myself down from trying because I have tried so many things before. I failed so many times before, look where that got me?

Yes I Can

My alter ego Fred, is just trying to keep me down and stay depressed because its easier and I can just settle. To answer the title in my post, yes somedays I feel like a fraud. I think why should people listen to me or kids read my books or posts? Could I really do any good or help them at all or even help lift them out of that funk they are in? The answer is YES, I truly think I can and I truly think I’m meant to do this. Somehow someway I’m going to help people and have a positive impact on people in my life.

My mindset and my actions and what I’m doing every day are seeing the world through two different sets of eyes. The first is my mindset preventing me from trying to do the best I can and just settle in life because it’s safer. The real me had to go through my whole life all the way up to this point looking at everything differently than others. That’s because I am different than most people. My dyslexia gave me the mindset to see the world differently than others.

Keep Trying

If my books don’t have the kind of impact I think they can and I hope they can. Well then that will suck and I’ll be very sad I won’t lie about that. But I know I gave it my absolute best every day and did the best I could. I went down swinging and kept fighting to better my craft. It just wasn’t what I was meant to do with my life.

I’m not giving up yet, I’m still only beginning. My eyes are only starting to open up to the world. I’m now just starting to live my life as a vacation. Even though I know I have my off days and my mindset might be wrong or fighting me. What’s important is I keep going and keep trying my best every day. Just like life, some days life knock’s us down and we get hit hard. All you need to do is get up and keep going and keep moving. Embrace the suck and whatever gets thrown your direction. Keep giving it your all every day, and don’t give up.

Embrace The Suck

Embrace The Suck

Day 19

Embrace the suck, I know it sounds weird and you’re probably thinking embrace the suck what does that even mean? The first time I think I heard this was from David Goggins. This guy is crazy and he doesn’t stop. I have been following him for a while now. He is very motivational and his background is unbelievable with what this man has accomplished in his life.

If there is something you don’t want to do, embrace it and do it anyway. Turn those weaknesses into strengths and become better from it in the end. Doing what you don’t want, will make you a better person. It will strengthen you to become a better vision of yourself. It will take you to new levels in your life you weren’t expecting, and you didn’t think you can go to.

Mindset

You must decide what you want to do. Don’t worry about what anyone else says or thinks. You just need to decide what you think is best. Do the best you can every day, and keep working hard. It all starts with deciding and committing to what it is you want to accomplish. If you have big goals then do whatever it takes to make those goals a reality. It’s the little things you don’t want to do, that will help take you to the next level.

Though my early years and all the hard times, I was battling through school for example. I let them get the best of me. I used all the excuses thinking why me, why can’t I do it? Well, that’s the opposite of embracing the suck haha. The last few years, I recognized what I need to do and what it takes to win. I want to become the best version of myself that I can possibly be.

Push Yourself

Once I had decided and changed my ways, I had to take action next. I hated reading and was slow and I always struggled with that. Now I want to read 100 books by my 30th birthday. Yes, that was extreme and a big goal.

That’s how it should be pushing yourself to the max. Don’t just go at it at 50%. Give it your all and you’re very best. I need to read 60 books in the next three years to accomplish that goal. Honestly, I’m not looking forward to reading 20 books a year, that’s a lot of reading haha. In the end, if I do that I can check off the goal, besides it’s more then just a checkmark. I set a goal and I accomplished it, and stuck with it and worked on something I’m not good at. I finished something I started and didn’t come up with any excuses.

Life Is Just Starting

That’s what you need to do, some days life sucks or we get knocked down. Yes, that sucks and honestly who would want that? For the longest time and for years, I always thought my dyslexia and LD was a weakness of course. Somedays it sucks and it’s frustrating, I will have to deal with my disability for the rest of my life. Where I am in my life right now and looking back. I think being diagnosed with that disability and going through those hard times was the best thing that could have happened to me.

I was talking to a friend of mine at my gym yesterday, I like to pick his brain about random stuff in life. We both agreed that having dyslexia was the best thing that could have happened to us. We have two different stories and he is a very successful businessman now and has done very well for himself over the years. Me, on the other hand, I’m just getting started. I’m only just beginning to accept and look at my history and background as a blessing. It made me the person I am today, it gave me the stubbornness and the will and hunger to become successful.

Off Day’s

I felt like a loser in my early years, I was lost, confused and thinking why me? At this very moment, I’m starting to love who I am for the first time. I have my days; my weaknesses get the best of me and I struggle but that’s life. We all struggle sometimes and we all have our off days. After those struggles or when you get knocked down, that’s when you find yourself and what you’re made of.

I must do the things I suck at if I want to become successful and win in life. People have it worse than me, I can’t say that enough. We all have our own issues and battles every day. Somedays we all suck haha. What you do after those sucky days is what will turn you into the person you want to become.

Embrace The Suck

I’m 27 right now I have a lot more to learn and a lot more life ahead of me. I haven’t figured out life yet or what the world has to offer me yet or anything like that. Honestly, I don’t even have a steady full-time job right now. I have two part-time jobs right now. I’m trying to turn my third part-time job that started out as a hobby into a full-time gig. Sharing my unique story with the world, and become a writer. All I can do is try my best every day, and take that chance.

I’ve done the things I don’t want to do to get here. Sacrifices were made, I’m now at the point where I can embrace the suck and embrace what happens next. In the end, it will turn me into a stronger and better person from it. If I keep learning from it and pushing myself out of my comfort zone every day and the rest of my life. It’s about time you embrace the suck and continue to keep pushing yourself to do better.

The Now Will Affect Your Future

The Now Will Affect Your Future

Day 18

What you do now will affect your future down the road. You need to ask yourself, what is it you want in your life? What are you working towards, and searching for? If you have an idea and a plan figured out, well that’s awesome and your probably farther than most people. I’m not saying other people aren’t working hard or trying to figure it out. Unfortunately, we just all go at different speeds and are on different paths. That’s life, we are all traveling and going different directions.

In my young and immature years, I always had one eye on the horizon and my future. Daydreaming about what I will be doing in a few years? I had an idea and always pictured somehow and someway I will have an impact on people. I was going to do something positive with myself and have an impact somehow. Maybe I won’t be a household name or be the best-selling author, and sell a million copies of my books. Even with all my drama, I had and hatred and battles I went through with myself. I never stopped believing.

Peter Vs Fred

The issues and drama I had over the years were always me vs me. Peter vs Fred. Well, Fred had my number for years. I kept thinking and trying to picture what my future might be down the road. I didn’t have a work ethic and or really had a plan. In sports, I worked hard and tried to do my best. Well at the time what seemed like my best. It wasn’t, I could have done more. I could have done better and tried harder, and given that extra effort in practice and those sprints.

That’s life you live and you learn every day. To this day and through the last seven years, I still don’t know what my future holds. Even though I know who holds my future, that’s no reason why I shouldn’t give that extra effort. Even though I’m a Christian, and believe everything happens for a reason. I still must put in the effort and try my best every day. I know that now, and sometimes we must learn the hard way in life.

Keep Working

It’s all clear to me now, If I want something then I must keep working on it and don’t stop. The last few years have been the definition of tunnel vision for me. All I have been focused on and picturing and dreaming about every day are my ultimate goals. Publishing my books and sharing my story and what I have learned with the world. There is nothing else on my radar for me. I have a social life every once and awhile when I feel like it.

Where I am right now in my life, I don’t have any more time to waste. I’ll be 28 soon and as harsh as it may sound, nothing to show with my life. Some people might disagree with that, they can disagree all they want. But I know the truth, I haven’t done anything with my life so far.

That’s why I have been so focused on my books and trying to build something. There are thousands, millions of people and kids just like me. I know people have had harder lives and bigger struggles than me, I won’t disagree with that. We all have a story and were all unique and different in our own way. I just recognized my life and where I am in life. After all this time I just decided to start doing something about it.

I Like Vanilla

All I do is work my two jobs, work on my website and books and workout. Every once and while I’ll hang out with my friends, and of course my family. Besides that, my life is kind of vanilla and boring. I know these years should be the best years of my life, but I don’t care.

Right now I’m trying to build something and be a part of something that’s bigger than Peter Harrower. I’m just one person and one story in the world. I’m just trying to share what I learned and trying to share my experiences with the world. Honestly, I could care less about my 20’s right now, I’m not wishing for these years away or anything like that.

We only get one chance at life, one shot to live. I don’t want to waste any more years like I did in my past. I have learned from my past and through all of those struggles, it helped turn me into the person I am today. I’m not perfect, I’m still learning and trying to take it one day at a time. I’m trying to make this one life worthwhile and have it be the best life I can have.

What Will You Sacrifice

In the end, I’m trying to have my life be a vacation every day. I don’t want to be stuck in a 9-5 every day. Look back after 20 years, and see how miserable I am. I would rather die than do that. That’s why I’m different, and why I and all of us should look at life differently.

What you do now will affect your future. It doesn’t matter if you have big goals or small goals, well we all should have big goals in our life. Until the day I die, I will always keep one eye on the horizon and never lose sight of what matters. But the facts speak for themselves if you want a better life it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. You must put in the effort now to build something you want later. Only you can decide what you want to do next? With that, what are you going to deiced to do? What are you going to sacrifice to help build that future you know you want to have?

Self Discipline Is Vital

Self Discipline Is Vital

Day 17

Self-discipline is vital and something we need every day. But, it’s also something we overlook and don’t give enough respect to. In my last post, life should be a vacation. Well, if you want that vacation and want to live that dream life of yours. Self-discipline and doing the work is one of the first and major skills you need to acquire.

Discipline can be a huge skill we have access to every day. You trained yourself to do and finish what needs to be done. That will be key to take you to the next level in your life. Plus helping you grow as a person is a good bonus.

Like most things there’s always a catch, shocking I know. If you don’t have discipline figured out or have a grasp on it. Anything you want to accomplish in life, it’s going to make that hill your climbing that much harder. Like most things, your choices you make now and the actions you take with the opportunities in front of you are vital for your future.

Your Reaction

That’s life good or bad, whatever is placed on our lap and laid out in front of us. How we look at it and how we respond to the good and the bad. Is the kind of outcome we want to have in our days that wait for us?

Personally, I feel like I always had a good work ethic my whole life. Well outside of school at least haha, we all know why. Seeing my parents and how they raised us, and my sisters with their kids. Constantly working and never stopping. Seeing athletes I looked up to at a young age over the years. Seeing their work ethic, and how disciplined they were to keep working and get better every day.

Those two examples in front of me over the years helped push me that much harder outside of school to keep working. I’m not perfect, I have made that clear in all my posts so far. I still have my off days, and days that life kicks my butt. Not trying to make excuses, I think with my background I have. When I fail at something or do a bad job, or mess up at a job or something. I think to myself, well I screwed up again what’s new Peter? Thinking to myself, when will I figure it out and stop screwing up all the time?

Bad Habits

My negative mindset still gets the best of me to this day. Especially when I’m having a bad day, thinking negative towards myself and becoming my worst critic. I don’t think I could go one day without criticizing myself negatively. If you haven’t noticed that’s not good, and that’s not a healthy lifestyle. That has been my lifestyle since I was six years old. Thinking negative and being negative when times are hard and criticizing myself the most is a skill I don’t want anymore.

That’s, why I can’t do this anymore and continue to live like how I lived in my past. It’s not healthy and the more I keep going on like that, the more damaging it will be every day. That’s why self-discipline and a work ethic is so important to try and get a good grasp on. If you want to win and be successful then you must do what you don’t want to do. You must work on your weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Even if you don’t know where you’re running, just keep going anyway. If you stop that’s how it usually catches up with you.

Life Is A Marathon

Life is not a sprint it’s a marathon. Being consistent is so important, hence the reason why you can’t stop. Negativity, self-doubt, and anything else you want to throw in there is slowly gaining on you and is right behind you. That’s why you must keep working no matter what and can’t slow down. Self-discipline is one of the first major steps you need to accomplish when your down. It will help you to keep going and keep trying to find a way to win.

What If you are disciplined and have a good work ethic, but are your worst critic and very negative? Well, you and I are screwed haha, I’m kidding. That’s been me the last seven-plus years. Like most things unfortunately, the negative always outweighs the positive. What makes the successful people and the people that win in life no matter what they are doing do it? They don’t let their weaknesses and negatives get the worst of them. Yes, we have bad days it happens that’s life. What happens from here is they don’t cry about spilt milk and what happens. Well they might, they just don’t let it carry on longer than it needs to be.

This Is Your Life

Do you have self-discipline, if not then what do you need to do? If you do have it, then what do you need to continue doing so you can keep running and continue to extend that lead in your marathon of life? Don’t forget you’re going to have off days sometimes, unfortunately that’s life and you might fall. What happens from here is what you do after you fall. Do you stand back up or just wait and think about what happens? No, you get up and keep going and keep running through life. We all fall, we all fail sometimes.

What matters is that you keep going. Even with the negatives you might have in your life or need help to continue to work on every day. You keep working on them every day, take it one day at a time, one move at a time. This is your life, this is my life. It’s about time we all start taking control of it. Let’s not let what happens to us, dictate what we could accomplish in our life. Let’s decide what we want to do, and what we need to do.

Life Should Be A Vacation

Life Should Be A Vacation

Day 16

If you haven’t noticed or maybe you missed it. I had a lot of personal issues growing up and over the years. I have always felt different and looked at life differently. Being dyslexic is a big reason behind that. I have been searching my whole life for what my purpose is and what I’m called to do. I still don’t know yet, but I think I’m getting closer to my calling. The last few years or my 20’s, have been a bumpy ride. It’s defiantly been a roller coaster. I wouldn’t change anything and I believe everything happens for a reason. Instead of looking at life as a negative, why not say, life should be a vacation?

A dream of mine and one of my many goals in life now is to give back. I want to help kids that are confused and felt different and felt alone over the years. Honestly, I don’t have the answers to your life or the situations you might be going through. I’m trying to figure out the answers to my life and trying to figure out what’s next for me. All I’m trying to do is share what I have learned and try and have a positive impact on people. I’m trying my best, and learning as I’m given another day and taking it one day at a time.

Take A Chance

“You can fail at what you don’t want. So, you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” – Jim Carrey, It’s so simple and again like many things, it get’s the point across and put’s things into perspective. Life is short and goes by way to fast, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Next thing you know people are getting married from your class, having kids. Now you’re close to being out of school for 10 years now.

Not trying to compare me to others. Deep down, some close friends or family might disagree but I’m a loner. I always have been and I always will be. I need my alone time and quiet time to think and reflect on things.

With everything I’m trying to say, and how special and fragile life is. It’s so easy to make life a lot harder than it must be. Why do we do that, maybe because we’re stupid haha kidding? Maybe a few other reasons tied in there as well. I don’t mean any disrespect and myself included in the mix with everyone.

Mindset

Every day we are given a fresh start to the day. That is a special gift that I think we all take advantage off most days. It’s about time we start treating life the way we should, fun and exciting and not taking everything so personal and serious. Life should be fun and life is short, yes, I know I said it again. Why spend the time and waste it doing the things we don’t like and working at the jobs we don’t enjoy?

I get it, you have a family to provide for and mouths to feed. I get that and it’s respectable doing what you’re doing. It’s 2018 and the number of opportunities to make money and do what it is you want to do is endless. People are making a living and good money blogging, or on social media. Plus a lot of other jobs that maybe you wouldn’t consider normal jobs. I mean those jobs are fun and I’m sure those people are loving life right now and are very happy. They get to call that work, that should give you hope.

If your job isn’t out there currently, then create it? That should motivate you to keep going and try and turn that dream into a reality? I know it shouldn’t be about the money, but I get it, you need money to survive and so do I.

Take A Gamble

It’s ok to roll the dice and take a chance. There are people younger than me that are married or that have their dream jobs already or have kids. Yes, I want all of that and I might be a little jealous. Honestly, getting jealous of that, what good comes from it?

We are all on different paths and are all meant for different purposes in our life. Everything happens for a reason, it’s just not my time yet. I just need to keep trying my best every day and keep working.

My life hasn’t always been a vacation, this is something I’m still working on today. Maybe I should have titled this, life is a rollercoaster? I have had more than enough ups and downs in my life over the years. With those ups and downs, I never stopped working and trying something new. That work ethic and mindset have brought me to this point for a reason. I can’t slow down now and stop. I’m just starting to live for the first time. My vacation hasn’t even begun yet, my life is brand new and I’m only in the planning phase right now.

Life Is Special

The planning phase is always the hardest part. The fun part is what’s next for me, and I’m right there knocking on the door. Once I publish my book, and people start to hear my unique story. As much as that still scares me to death. I think a lot of good can come from that, and that will only be the beginning. That will be the start of my life and I will be living for the first time in my 27 years.

It’s not about living my life and doing what I want to do anymore. It’s now about sharing my story and doing what I need to do. Giving back to the world, and letting people know how special life is. We should be grateful for life every day we have. It’s about time we start treating life like a vacation, and not a punishment.

Your Life Is Your Message

Your Life Is Your Message

Day 15

If life is a book and you are the author of your life. What would you want to say, your life is your message? We are all authors and were 15 days into your new chapter in your book of life. Has it been productive or no? If you’re doing it right, you should already have an idea of what your answer should be?

If you ask me and I had to answer, my answer would be no. I’m probably 50-50 so far with my goals for the year. If you want to know the kind of person you are in life, just answering how I’m doing so far, this year will tell you. You could look at that as it could be worse, or it could be better. So, which one are you, which one did you pick?

As far as my blogging and website side of life and continuing to share my story. I’m still on point and halfway to completing my first goal of the year. That’s very exciting and I’m feeling good about that. On the flip side, I have been slacking with my sales goal for LancasterPA.com. It’s a mindset sometimes, sales are not a walk in the park and it can be hard. That’s part of the reason why some days I kept trying to make excuses to call people and follow new leads. It’s not so much the rejection that bothers me. Sure, I don’t like it and I wonder what I could have done better. I’m used to getting rejected and have about 105 plus reasons why I’m used to it.

Don’t Give Up

Just because I don’t enjoy it that much right now and haven’t been putting the time into it I should. Doesn’t mean I gave up on it. Just like my book, I haven’t published it yet and people keep asking me about it. As much as I appreciate people asking about it and wanting to read it, and trust me I’m very grateful for that. At the same time when my parents are officially done going through it and reading it from a different perspective of my life growing up. Once that’s done and I’m ready to send it to get published. I know right before I hit the send button, not trying to be too dramatic about it. That will be the scariest moment in my life. At the same time, it will be the most exciting moment in my life.

Once I submit it and the send the book, that’s only the begging to my message and what I’m trying to accomplish in my life. Once my book becomes available to the public and people can purchase it, that’s when the fun begins. That will be the time to get my book into as many kids hands as possible. This book is not about the money. I don’t know how much I will get paid per book, even if it’s a penny or a quarter per book I don’t care. My story and what I’m trying to share and accomplish with my book is way bigger than filling my pockets.

Focused

Publishing a book has been my number one goal for almost seven years. Besides going to school, I mean I kind of had to haha. My relationship and partnership with writing have been my longest relationship in my life to this point. As funny as that sounds I know haha, it’s true. This book has been a three-year project of mine. That’s why I’m so committed to finishing this project and my book.

It’s not just seven years invested into these books. It’s seven years that has brought me happiness and hope in my life. Through all the bad times. Writing has been one of the few things that have brought me peace and excitement with living every day and has given me hope. That’s something I have not had growing up as a young, confused, angry kid through school over the years.

The Real Me

In the end, it’s just a stupid book. I could care less about those pieces of paper being put together for me. What matters and what’s most important to me, is what I do with what’s on that paper. That’s my life, and who I am forever sketched onto those papers. That’s the real me, the real Peter A. Harrower. I finally committed to something other than myself.

Where I am now in my life and with what I have seen in my 27 years so far. I could care less what people think of me, my book, and what I’m trying to do. Do I want people to like me yes, I do? I try and be a nice person and treat people with the respect they deserve, but you can’t please everyone. The only people that matter to me. The only people I want to hear from are the people that need to hear my story. I have been through a lot and had a lot of inner battles with myself for years, and now look at me?

I Know What Matters

I’m not doing this for the glory and the recognition and the fame. I could care less about that, you can have it. All I want is what I always wanted. To try and make the world a better place than it was when I came into it. I want to help kids that are confused and felt lost like me because I know what it’s like. A lot of time was wasted dealing with that over the years. I don’t want other kids to waste this precious gift of life.

That’s why I need to get my story out to those kids that need to hear it. I’m not perfect, not even close, what I do know is this. The person I am today, I’m now starting to understand who the person I’m meant to become. I know the kind of message I want to leave behind before I take my last breath. The question you need to ask yourself is, do you?

Who Are You Working For

Who Are You're Working For

Day 14

Who are you working for? Are you working for a living or living for your work? I heard this from a song on Spotify a few days ago. It was one of those things that seemed so simple, but the message behind it is so powerful.

For example, I would say right now it’s 60-40 working for a living. My mindset is %100 living for my work. The reality for me and how I’m living right now is working for a living. I’m not doing what I want to do and would love to do. I have said it before, I still have no idea what I want to do with myself or what my future holds. If I had to choose and decide right now, it’s to become an author and continue to share my unique story with the world.

My Crazy Story

My story is nothing special, and it’s not better than yours. I went through a lot of ups and downs and over a lot of speedbumps over my years. After all this time I finally recognized, maybe it was all supposed to happen like that for a reason? If I want to impact kids and play a role in their life and help them not make the same mistakes that I made. Then I had to go through some tuff times so they fully understand me.

Therefore, I think I’m a perfect candidate to share my story. A kid with an LD and dyslexic who hated school and thought he was being punished every day for something. Now changed his life around and wanted to share that with the world. Try and turn his life into a positive for others. If I can do it so can you. Even for me, I still have more work to do for me to be %100 living for my work.

The Opportunities Are Endless

What if some people have it a lot easier than me? That’s something that bothers me, they don’t have the drive and motivation to do something special or create something new. Not every person that’s financially taken care off is like that, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m trying to say is this. It’s amazing what having a little extra money in your pockets, and how much more confident you can be with it. What happens if that money is there parents, they didn’t even work for it? They were given that money, they think why should I work?

To this day I would say most people are working for a living instead of living for their work. I understand if you have someone or kids to provide for. I get that and respect what you’re doing, I get it. For me who’s single and still trying to find his way and what’s next. Now would be the perfect time to create something that I want to live for and make something special. Well, that’s what I’m trying to do, there’s only so much free time I have when I’m not working my two paying jobs right now. So, for this future career I’m trying to build I must choose my time carefully and when I’m able to work on it. That’s the hard part and that’s the part that sucks.

Reality Check

The amount of opportunities to this day is still unbelievable and the new opportunities that are being created are endless. All you need to do is figure out what it is you want to do. Find that gap in your life or another person’s life and fill it, and turn that into a positive. That’s what I’m trying to do if you couldn’t tell lately. I have big goals that I’m aiming for and trying to accomplish.

We all should have big goals we’re trying to accomplish and bring to life? It doesn’t matter what your goals are in your life or my life. We all have different interests we enjoy that we do every day. What matters is you don’t settle where you are right now in your life, and with what you’re doing. Why not work that extra little bit and try and create something new and special for the world?

Life is too short to be doing what you don’t want to do in life, and going to a 9-5 that you can’t stand. If it’s making you miserable and you’re unhappy then maybe you should think about what you’re doing with yourself right now? I’m not saying quit Monday morning and say peace and walk out. What I’m saying is take some time and really think about what it is you want to do in life? If money wasn’t on the table and that wasn’t a factor, what would you want to do? If you find something or come up with something, then maybe you should consider that idea you just came up with.

I’m Going All In

If writing doesn’t work out for me like I hope it does, I won’t lie I’ll be very upset and very sad. If that’s the case and I hope it isn’t, well then it wasn’t meant to be for me. But if I can still pursue it on the side and part-time, well then, I’ll take that and I’ll be ok with that. The most important thing to me right now is helping kids that feel like me and felt different in the world. That’s why I’m doing this, that was the final push I needed in life to keep going and finally create this website.

I decided enough is enough, I don’t know if this will work out or not. There’s only one way to find out if it does, and I’m willing to take that gamble. Are you willing to roll the dice and go all in with your life? Life is short and it’s about time we all start living and enjoying our life for a change, and not just working are life away?

Life Is A Battle We Fight Everyday

Life Is A Battle We Fight Everyday

Day 13

In case you haven’t noticed yet, life can be tricky and hard sometimes. We have all had our own battles or have gone through some hard times over the years. Maybe not yet for some of you, someday it might happen down the road. All though that’s what makes our lives and “life” so special for us. Life is a battle we fight every day, even if we’re on cloud nine and were feeling great. We all had to start somewhere.

I have talked before about making the most of your dash, and how your life clock is ticking. This is along those lines. Even though you could have all the motivation in the world and all the support you need. Somedays it’s just not enough, or what you need. It’s something deep inside of you that you need to find, and continue to search to keep going.

That’s why the battle that all of us are fighting every day, is going to be different for all of us. Some battles are for the people fighting to protect us every day. Other battles might be to keep, moving forward and keep searching for your why and what your purpose is in life. That’s why on the outside everything might seem normal and seem like another day. On the inside of some of us, you don’t know what that person is going through. You don’t know how much they could be hurting or how long they have been wearing that mask of theirs?

Priorities

A battle for me lately is spacing out my time between my books, website and not spending enough time in my sales job. This has been hard for me this week, honestly, I just didn’t want to call people or talk to them. All I wanted to do was write and that’s it. Keep working on my 31 days writing challenge and just write as many posts as I can for the upcoming days. Try and get a better idea of what I’m doing and why I’m doing this.

Realistically I could be spending my time doing worse things like playing video games or just wasting my time doing nothing. At least I’m spending it wisely and trying to get that much farther ahead with my hobby and my life. Yes, I know I need to look at my situation and realize what is bringing in the money now, and where my priorities are right now. I know this doesn’t sound that bad and it could be worse, and you’re right I won’t deny that. My battle compared to most is stupid, and maybe you won’t even call it a battle depending on what others might be going through.

Recognize When Your Complaining

Some people might be battling drugs, or even in the military getting shot at or something more serious than that. Heck, maybe someone recently just lost a loved one within the last few days. Who am I to complain about my struggles right now? As far as I know, I’m healthy and feel fine, I have a house over me and food and water. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing in your life, or where you’re coming from or what your background is. We all have our issues and setbacks, that’s life and that’s all apart from the journey.

Yes, maybe now it might not seem like fun or you don’t want to smile about it. But depending on what you’re going through or what your situation is like. Maybe that situation will make your stronger coming out after it’s all done and finished?

 I Recognized Where I’m Wrong

With whatever you’re going through today, tomorrow whatever day it is. How you decide to respond to what gets placed in front of you, that is what you will get out of life. Are you going to let that issue walk all over you and get the best of you? Or are you going to control the outcome and what you need to continue to keep working on and fighting for what you want? Yes, my so-called battle got the best of me the last few days. But what’s important about my situation is, I have recognized it and I acknowledged what I did or didn’t do about it.

Yes, I was slacking in one field, for example, in the last few days. But on the other side of it, I got that much farther with something else that’s very important to me. That something is my writing, and how it relaxes me and calms me down. If I’m angry or whatever I’m feeling it helps bring me back to reality. It’s the counseling I never got I guess you could say and a lot less expensive haha.

Life Is A Battle

I know it might sound stupid and maybe you don’t agree with me, and well that’s fine I can’t control that. Looking at life and well looking at my life, this is how I feel. Life is a battle whether we like it or not or you want to acknowledge that or not. There’s always ups and downs and it’s not always easy and sometimes we get placed in tuff situations.

What you learn from those situations and how you respond to those battles is what’s important. Are you going to respond positively and come out with a victory for that day, or come out unprepared and let that problem walk all over you? Only you are in control of this battle nobody else can do it or decided for you. How do you want to respond to your battle today or tomorrow? Are you going to respond with a victory, or chalk it up as another loss in your life book?

Goals For 2018

Goals For 2018

Day 12

We’re about two weeks into the new year already. I think I figured out what I want to accomplish this year, and what I want my goals to be. I’m sure I might add more down the road or maybe change them and adjust them a little bit.

Goals should be a top priority for all of us every day. We need something to shoot for and to be working towards every day. If we are struggling one day, or maybe lacking the motivation to keep going. That’s part of the reason why we have goals to help push us.

The thing with our goals either for the year, or today whatever time frame you’re doing it for. You need to have a plan and think about it. Not just throw stuff together and say, yes this looks good let’s do that. I mean, to be honest, I guess you could do that. But with that kind of effort you put in is probably going to be the kind of effort you get out of your life and goals.

Stop Messing Around With Your Life

This is your life people, you should take this seriously and stop messing around. Time is still moving every day, time won’t slow down for everyone. That’s why we ALL, need to start showing time the respect it deserves. Myself included, I know I can do better as much as I don’t want to admit it but it’s true.

The choice is yours you can I either keep going and keep working hard every day towards something you want in life. Or you stay where you are, and just roll with whatever comes your way. Only you can decide and make the decision in life. Sometimes we must go through hard times to figure out what we want in life, and what we want to do.

Keep Working

Below are my goals for this year, and then also my list of goals for when I turn 30. The list of goals for when I turn 30 I made a few months after my 25th birthday. I got sick and tired of where I was in life and with the mindset and effort I was putting in every day and giving the world. I need to do better, I had to do better in my life. With the big goals, I have in life, which you will find out shortly I must keep working. If I want to publish my books, grow my website and continue to share my story with the world. Then I can’t slow down anymore and use the excuses that I used in my past. Remember you don’t want to forget where you were in the past and what you did or didn’t do in your life.

We should be excited and looking forward to what’s next for us. Unfortunately, life gets the best of us sometimes, I get that and I understand. That’s part of the reason why we do goals to help keep us accountable and to keep us moving forward. If we fall or have a bad day or get knocked down. When you go to fall just make sure you fall forward, and get up quickly and keep moving in the direction you want to go and searching for. If you haven’t noticed life can be hard and a battle every day, sometimes it’s very frustrating and were confused and don’t know what to do next.

What’s Next For Peter

That’s all part of the fun, trying to figure out who we are and what it is we want to do in life. Maybe at the time, it’s not a lot of fun. Once you look back at your life and see what you accomplished and achieved in four years. Maybe not right away but maybe you will smile and think, wow I can’t believe how hard that was for me? Oh wow, that was stupid I wasted so much time and was upset for so long about that problem or situation I was in. Of course, it will be different with every situation, but you get what I’m saying.

Maybe you’re not where you want to be in life right now. I can say that because I know I’m not where I want to be in life. I’m still trying to figure me out and figure out what’s next for Peter. What does 2018 have in store for me this year? That’s all part of the fun, the only thing I can control is how hard I work today and during this year and the mindset I have along the way. I can’t control the time it’s going to pass regardless of what I accomplish or don’t accomplish. That’s why ladies and gentlemen you might as well take a chance and dream big and go all in.

It’s Your Turn

Take that chance and make the most of it, and don’t have any regrets and hold back now. Make the most of this year. Make the goals big enough that it’s worth chasing after and working towards. You want it to be big enough that it scares you and its challenging. Also, some of these goals should be big enough that you’re embarrassed to tell people, that’s another good tip for you.

Now, what are you going to accomplish this year? Maybe now you need to rethink your goals for the year, or maybe start to come up with some goals. Regardless of where you are in that process. Make sure you keep working hard every day to make those goals a reality and check them off your board. What good is it going to be if they just stay on your board and you don’t do anything with them?

2018 Goals

  1. Write 500 words for 31 days straight
  2. Read 20 books
  3. Read the Bible in one year
  4. Have Peterharrower.com be on page one for Google
  5. Publish my first book
  6. Start the process of publishing my second book
  7. Have 100 subscribers to my website
  8. Sell 1,000 books this year
  9. Complete a 1/2 Ironman
  10. I have financial goal for what I want to make for LancasterPA.com
  11. Save $5,000 this year

March 25, 2020

  1. Publish three books
  2. Sell 1 Million Copies
  3. Have my trilogy turned into a movie
  4. Own my own business
  5. Have a six-figure income
  6. Read 100 books
  7. Own my own house
  8. Read the Bible in one year
  9. Featured in a magazine
  10. Finish an Ironman
  11. Finish a Marathon
  12. Buy a Rolex